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Getting out of the sewers and getting Eddie to the emergency room was the real challenge. After the Losers had all finally seen the existence of Pennywise melt away to nothing, it became a reality to them that, somehow, they needed to haul up Eddie’s body and get him out of there. Sure, he was small, but after the battle, they knew they had limited energy. And they had to use it wisely if they were going to make it out of there alive.
It was Bill who had first posed the question of who would do the honours of carrying Eddie out, and how exactly they would do that.
“I’ll take him,” Richie said without missing a beat, his hand raised up high in the air.
Mike shook his head as he rolled his eyes. Any sane person on earth could take one look at Richie’s distressed and dishevelled appearance and know that he shouldn’t be carrying another human being through these sewers. “Richie, you’re a mess. I’ll do it.”
Despite Mike’s words, Richie began walking towards Eddie in haste and said, “we all know I’m the biggest. It just makes sense. I mean, really, it’s just science.” Mike stepped forward, about to protest once again, but Ben put his arm in front of his chest to hold him back. As Richie put his forearms underneath Eddie’s armpits and slowly lifted him off the ground, his arms began shaking due to Eddie’s beaten up body being so limp. But eventually, somehow, he managed to get one arm under his legs and pick him up bridal style. “Let’s go, Losers.”
When they finally reached the emergency room, the only thing on their minds was Eddie and making sure he got the help he needed. Mike immediately went into leader mode, rushing to the front desk to try and get Eddie into surgery as quickly as possible while Richie stood behind him with Eddie still in his arms. What the losers didn’t really seem to realise was the state that each of them was in, too: blood all over their shirts, cuts on their faces, bruises littering their arms, tear streaks down their faces. But Eddie was their first priority, of course.
Eddie spent several weeks in the hospital after surgery, eating nothing but disgusting jelly and sloppy soup, drinking sour apple juice and watching more daytime television than he’s ever seen in his entire life. If you asked Eddie Kaspbrak who his favourite soap opera character was, he would be more than happy to list all the soaps on Channel 5, plus the 2 on channel 7, then go into great detail about each character from each show long before telling you his favourite.
However, by his side was a person he didn’t expect to stick around.
The other Loser’s practically begged Richie to get some rest or, at the very least, go back to the Derry Town House to have a shower and change his clothes. But Richie refused. He simply needed to stay by Eddie’s side in case any little thing happened.
After a few days had passed and everyone had confirmation that Eddie was okay, it was time for the rest of the group to go back to work, back to their partners, back to their own towns. Except for Richie. Boy, that man was stubborn. Numerous phone calls, angry texts, and livid emails from his manager, and Richie dodged every single one. Eddie was the only thing on his mind right now, and there was no way he was leaving just to go tell jokes on stage.
By the 5th day of sleeping in the uncomfortable vinyl chair in Eddie’s room, and wearing the same clothes from the sewer, Richie eventually went back to the Town House. He showered, grabbed his and Eddie’s suitcases, and bought a sleeping bag for the floor of Eddie’s hospital room. If he had to sleep in that godforsaken chair for one more night, Richie was sure he’d be flying back home on a red-eye that day.
Oh, who was he kidding? Richie would’ve slept on the floor for the rest of his life if it meant he got to stay by Eddie’s side.
It was 3 weeks after Eddie’s surgery, and, really, Eddie should have left last week. He recovered perfectly from surgery, the stitches had been taken out of his cheek, and doctors said he was good to go home. But Eddie refused, too terrified that something would happen the moment he got onto the plane. So, Richie stayed by his side, catering to his every need to make sure that Eddie was as happy as he could possibly be.
It was 4 in the morning, and Richie just simply couldn’t get a wink of sleep. He grabbed his phone from the floor beside him and clicked the lock button, the home screen informing him of the early hour. Richie rustled around in his sleeping bag, attempting to get comfortable against the itchiness of the fabric before he eventually just gave up and got out of the damn thing. He plonked into the visitor chair and looked out the window at Derry’s street lights. He remembered seeing these lights as a boy when he and the losers would go out to the Summer carnival at night, and the entire town would be lit up. It was a sight he hadn’t seen in a very long time, and the memories bought a smile to his face.
“Rich?” Eddie whispered.
Richie jumped a little, not expecting Eddie to be awake at this hour. He turned around to see the smaller boy looking at him, his brown eyes shining in the moonlight.
“Mm, what’s up?” He whispered back with his eyebrows raised.
Eddie shuffled around in his bed as he attempted to make space. He absolutely despised Richie sleeping on the floor. Sure, it was clean and sanitary enough given that they were in a hospital, but god, Eddie couldn’t even begin to imagine how uncomfortable sleeping down there for the last 3 weeks must have been.
“Get in the bed,” he said gently as he gestured his head towards the empty space he had made.
Richie shook his head. “It’s fine, Eddie. You need your space.”
“Richie, get in the bed,” Eddie repeated, his voice no longer a whisper as he rose it to a regular volume. He pulled back the corner of the duvet to show Richie the room he had made for him.
“No, Eds. I don’t want to hurt you or anything,” Richie said as he put his hands up in defence.
Eddie let out a low growl and grumpily patted the empty spot next to him. “Get in the fucking bed, asshole.”
Richie sighed and thought about it for a moment. On the one hand, he really was worried about moving the wrong way and hitting the wound on his cheek or turning over and crashing into his stomach. However, on the other hand, he got to be in bed with Eddie. Of course, it was that thought that won him over. He stood up from the uncomfortable vinyl chair and made his way over to the hospital bed. He slipped a sock-clad foot under the covers first before slowly tucking the rest of his body in. The sheets were warm from where Eddie had just been laying, and after being in them for so long, they also smelt like him: a mixture of soft, just-washed clothes, and freshly cut grass. Richie breathed in the scent as he pulled the duvet up to his chin before turning around to find Eddie looking at him.
Richie lightly chuckled. “Hey,” he whispered. “Can’t sleep, either?”
Eddie shook his head as thought for a minute, his eyebrows furrowing. “I know it’s dead, but I can’t stop thinking about it, Rich.”
Richie snuggled further down into the bed and rubbed his nose against the pillow they were sharing. His soft sweat pants brushing against Eddie’s bare legs sent a chill down his spine as he realised just how close they were to one another. He wasn’t sure where to put his hands, so he let them awkwardly sit in between his and Eddie’s bodies as he thought back to when they had fought Pennywise and all the nightmares that had come afterwards. That demonic face had been taking over almost every thought in Richie’s head for the last 3 weeks, its horrid laugh replaying over and over again.
“Yeah, I know. Me too.”
The two of them sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, thinking about the fact that, despite fighting and killing that thing, it was still haunting them weeks later. Eddie hesitantly took a hand out from underneath his head and slid it below the covers until his fingers found Richie’s. Eddie let his fingertips touch Richie’s ever so slightly before allowing them to run down Richie’s fingers and meeting at his palm. Eddie rubbed his knuckles over the inside of Richie’s hand, and it felt as if a swarm of butterflies was erupting within both of them.
Richie couldn’t help but let a smile creep up onto his face at the delicate touch. “What’re you doing, Eds?”
“Rich, I could have died in there,” Eddie started softly. Richie’s collarbones were peeking out from underneath his shirt, and Eddie made a point of staring at them instead of at Richie’s face as he spoke his next words. “It- it made me realise that I can’t keep living a lie, you know?”
Eddie’s eyes stayed away from Richie’s face as Richie processed his words. He understood in every way what Eddie was saying because Richie, too, didn’t want to live this lie anymore. As much as Richie wanted this, as much as his heart pounded inside his chest and his head spun in circles, and his stomach fluttered with butterflies and his skin filled with goosebumps, Richie wasn’t sure he could do this. And although he’d been living with these thoughts inside his mind for the last 28 years, he still didn’t feel ready. No matter how in love with Eddie he was.
Richie pulled his fingers away from Eddie’s and sat up in the hospital bed, and Eddie furrowed his eyebrows. He’d seen Richie’s smile just seconds before, and as he thought more about his actions, Eddie’s smile completely fell from his face. His cheeks were suddenly bright red and burning hot, with the sinking feeling that he’d done something terribly wrong growing in his stomach.
“Yeah, uh-.” Richie didn’t dare look at Eddie’s face. He couldn’t. He got up out of bed quickly and reached for his shoes. “I need some air,” he said hastily as he slipped his arms into his jumper. He pulled his sneakers on and looked around the room for a second – his eyes refusing to meet Eddie’s – then rushed out the door and slammed it shut.
Eddie felt his heart drop into his stomach, and for a moment, he sat in his bed as he thought over what had just occurred. He couldn’t let Richie leave. There was no way in hell Eddie was going to let his feelings for Richie ruin what they had. He quickly got out of the bed, grabbed his slippers, and raced out of his room.
“Mr Kaspbrak!” One of the nurses shouted as Eddie rushed down the hallway. “What’re you doing?!”
“Something I need to do before I lose my chance!” Eddie called back.
He continued forward, trying not to run but still going as quickly as he legs – and the nurses – would allow him to. Eddie could only just see Richie ahead of him, but the crowded halls and slippery floors stopped him from getting any closer. He trailed quite far behind, occasionally losing sight of the taller man in between doctors and patients and families, but eventually Eddie came to the exit. He could see Richie across the road, walking quickly with his hands gripped into a fist and his eyes set on the ground below his feet.
Richie, on the other hand, had not a clue that Eddie was following him. There was only one place in this town that Richie was focused on right now. The one spot that would give him the air that he needed, that he craved. He hastily walked, following the path alongside the quarry. His legs moved quickly, and he tucked his hands into his jumper pockets, keeping them tight in a fist. His hair was slightly blowing in the wind, but he didn’t really mind; the fresh air was already clearing his mind with every step he took as he headed for the kissing bridge – a place Richie hadn’t thought about until he set foot in Derry and saw Eddie’s face once again.
As the wind grew stronger, Richie finally reached the bridge. Eddie was hot on his heels as he jogged down the street, a mix of confused thoughts running through his mind. He stayed back for a little, watching as Richie bent down to look at something on the wooden railing. Richie smiled for a second, the corners of his eyes crinkling as his fingers trailed along something on the wood, which he then placed his hand over and bowed his head down.
Eddie slowly began walking forwards.
“Richie?” he asked hesitantly once he was close enough.
Richie jumped slightly at the sound of Eddie’s careful voice, not expecting him to have followed him all the way out there. He shook his head a little to get himself out of his daze, then stood up.
“Ed’s,” Richie said gently. “What’re you doing here?”
Eddie’s hands began to shake, so he shoved them into the pocket of his hoodie and made fists, attempting to calm his nerves. His mind was reeling with so many thoughts, but the biggest one floating around in his mind being how much Richie must hate him right now.
“I just… Wanted to make sure you’re okay?” He asked, his gaze not leaving the road below him. Nerves and the feeling of complete and utter embarrassment were rising up inside him, and Eddie couldn’t name a time where he’d felt more ridiculously stupid than now. Basically confessing to his friend that he’s been living a lie and has feelings for him, making a move, and then following him around town? Eddie didn’t think he’d ever had a bigger facepalm moment in his entire life.
Richie took a moment to consider everything. He thought about the fact that he’s been in the closet for 28 years. That he’s been in love with his best friend for 28 years. That all this time, he’s never truly been able to live his life. Never been able to go on dates or have a relationship or have children. All because he’d hidden behind this mask. A mask that allowed him to do comedy and make up voices and cover up who he truly was. Who he truly is. And as his legs began to feel like jelly, Richie let these thoughts scare him enough into walking over to where Eddie stood. His hands were violently shaking as he tenderly laced his fingers through Eddie’s and dragged him towards the bridge railing.
Eddie’s head was spinning with confusion. And the second that Richie stopped on the bridge and pointed to what he had been looking at, Eddie felt even more confused than before. But one thing he wasn’t confused about was the feeling of Richie’s hand in his. The warm skin and the gentle grip. It was something Eddie had been longing for since they were boys, messing around on the hammock in the clubhouse, or playing dumb games at the arcade. It was a feeling that he knew would be amazing, but now that it was actually happening, and it was reciprocated, it was even better than he had ever imagined it. And boy, had he imagined it. When Eddie was younger, sometimes as he lay in bed, he would interlock his own hands and pretend one was Richie’s just to help him fall asleep.
“What am I looking at?” He asked as he stared at the letters carved into the wooden panel.
“That, Eds, is our initials that I carved 27 years ago,” Richie said, a hint of pride shining through in his voice as he stared at Eddie and continued pointing to the wood. A smile had formed on Richie’s face as his body filled with more confidence.
Eddie stared at the sharp, uppercase “R + E”, still confused with his eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean… 27 years ago?” He asked. He let go of Richie’s hand and bent down to trace the letters, much like Richie had done just several minutes ago.
Richie stayed silent for a while. He was hoping that it would click shortly, and Eddie would understand what he was saying. Watching Eddie as he ran his pointer finger along the indented wood bought a flood of memories back into Richie’s mind. Remembering those times in the clubhouse, or at one of the Loser’s houses, or at the quarry, when Richie would stare at Eddie for so long, no matter what he was doing. His gaze would be so fixated on the smaller boy that hardly anything would be able to snap him out of his love-sick daze.
A particular memory sprung to mind from a time, long ago, when he and Eddie would have sleepovers most weeks. Though the one night Richie was currently recalling was the night that changed everything for him. He remembered sitting on his bed, the blue sheets crumbled and messy as he ran his hands roughly through his dishevelled hair. He was seated crisscrossed on the mattress, watching Eddie dig around in his draw containing his collection of VHS tapes, looking for the perfect film for their movie night.
It wasn’t that Eddie was doing anything in particular to intrigue Richie, but for some reason, as usual, he just couldn’t tear his eyes away from the small boy. As Eddie spoke so fast Richie was sure his tongue would fall off, and as he held up tape after tape, putting them neatly in a pile next to him, and as his pastel yellow polo moved with his body and his blue shorts rode a little too far up his thigh, Richie realised it. It was like a light switch had suddenly flicked on inside his mind, and the globe was shining so brightly as everything began falling into place. And it was at that moment that Richie Tozier knew he was in love with Eddie Kaspbrak.
He faded out of the memory to see that Eddie hadn’t moved and was still knelt down in front of the letters, and he smiled as a flood of love and warmth filled his chest. Richie felt like a piece of his heart - a piece that had been dedicated to this man for so long - was starting to melt right then and there.
Richie walked forward and gently placed a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, and the smaller man looked up at him. “Rich,” he said softly as he slowly stood up. A look of wonder and amazement filled Eddie’s eyes as a delicate smile etched itself onto his lips.
Richie let out a gentle chuckle, and the corners of his eye crinkled as he laced his fingers through Eddie’s.
“Eds, it’s you. It’s always been you. I’ve loved you since we were kids and I still do.”
Richie hadn’t felt such a surge of confidence in his entire life, but he knew he wouldn’t ever be able to get this opportunity to tell Eddie how much he truly cared for him. It really was now or never.
Eddie’s spinning head was slowing as his heart grew soft over Richie’s words. He’d longed for the day he heard Richie say those words, and now that the day was finally here, he wanted to take every second to soak it in.
It was now Eddie’s turn for an old memory to return to his conscious. He thought back to when he was 13, the image of him and the Losers at the quarry on a warm Summer’s day filled his mind. He remembered watching the rest of their friends swimming in the water while he and Richie sat on the rocks, tired from playing and splashing around. While Eddie was sitting up, a sandwich in his hand and a towel wrapped around his shoulders, Richie was sprawled out on his towel fast asleep. Eddie’s gaze lingered on the rise and fall of Richie’s bare chest. Lingered on the hand that was placed on his stomach as it moved up and down as he breathed slowly. Lingered on his hair that was blowing gently in the wind and his nose that crinkled every so often. And he lingered on the fact that he was slowly falling in love with every inch of the Trashmouth more and more every day.
After all the Loser’s went their separate ways that day, Eddie headed straight for the kissing bridge. As he walked, he let his fingers drag across the wood until he found an empty spot right at the end. Eddie reached into his backpack and pulled out the pocket knife he had snuck out of Stanley’s bag, bent down, and slowly carved the letters that had been stuck inside his mind for god knows how long. He needed this. Some sort of secret place other than his thoughts where he could keep the idea of him and Richie being together alive.
Eddie smiled at the memory and gripped Richie’s hand tighter, dragging him further down the bridge. Richie’s eyebrows wrinkled in confusion until Eddie stopped in his tracks and pointed at another panel of wood.
Richie looked to where Eddie’s gaze was set, and there, etched deep and in lower case letters, was “e + r”. Richie’s eyes grew wide as he stared at the markings and a realisation settled over him. He wanted to reach down and touch the letters, but the feeling of Eddie’s hand in his own - the warm, soft skin that so gingerly held on to Richie’s - stopped him from moving.
“When?” Richie asked, turning back to Eddie. His eyes were shining in the moonlight, much like they had in the hospital room, and Richie didn’t think he had ever seen him look so radiant and stunning, yet so delicate and soft at the same time. He reached out with his free hand and cupped Eddie’s face, rubbing his thumb across his cheek.
Eddie smiled and relaxed into Richie’s touch as he let out a gentle sigh. “27 years ago,” he whispered with a quick shrug, his tone holding a glimmer of irony as he looked down to the ground.
For the first time ever, Richie didn’t have a single word to speak. For the first time ever, he was rendered completely speechless. Because for all these years, as Richie was pining after Eddie day in and day out, stealing glances and hoping and wishing so desperately that Eddie could feel the way he did, Eddie had been doing the exact same thing.
Richie stepped forward and pressed his torso against Eddie’s. He took his hand out of the smaller boys and instead placed it on the other side of his face.
“Richie,” Eddie whispered softly, so low that Richie almost didn’t hear him. Eddie moved his face closer to Richie, their noses touching and their lips ever so gently brushing up against one another as both men tried their best to soak in every second of each other.
“Eddie Spaghetti,” Richie whispered back with a giggle.
“Don’t call me that. I ha-“ Eddie was cut off from finishing his sentence as Richie finally leant forward completely and pushed his lips against Eddie’s, his thumbs brushing against Eddie’s cheeks and his fingers making their way into his hair.
Eddie reacted quickly, grabbing on to Richie’s sides to try and pull him closer. But as desperate as their actions seemed to be, with their hands not knowing where to settle and their tummy’s pressing together more and more with every second that passed, the kiss still felt innocent. Sweet. It was soft and gentle and something that both of them had been waiting so long for. And after 27 years, something they both deserved - a happy ending.