Chapter Text
of course, aziraphale was aware the other angels were keeping tabs on him. he'd been trusted with the task of guarding the eastern gate, and that had clearly gone down like a lead balloon. no real fault of his own of course, but then he'd given his flaming sword away and well...that was his fault.
he expected to be returned to earth to look over that sort, but apparently gabriel had other plans and now he was standing before a big, quiet, boxy type room that was apparently supposed to act as a cell. everything was bright, they were still in heaven after all, but it was so dull. aziraphale just stood there for hours on end, no real purpose. but he was near to gabriel nearly all the time, and that was as obvious at it could possibly get, really. they didn't trust him to look after earth, yet.
that was fine, aziraphale had eternity to prove himself.
today was just like any day...though heaven didn't really have days at all, just endless expanses of white where the sky should've been. sometimes, when gabriel was off doing something, aziraphale would get a chance to go to the earth surveillance room, and see the sky there. nighttime was his favorite, what with all the stars and the like. aziraphale couldn't believe that someone as, frankly, drab as gabriel was could've created all those stars, all on his own. aziraphale wished he'd been there to see it, but sometimes gabriel would share stories of the days of creation and aziraphale looked forward to those times. drab as he as, gabriel was something to be admired.
thankfully, aziraphale told his superior that standing in front of an empty white wall was awfully boring, a punishment, really, and gabriel had gone to earth and snatched up something called 'a book.' quite a few of them actually, and aziraphale was immediately infatuated. he'd read every one, and then some. sometimes gabriel would bring new ones, sometimes aziraphale had to just reread the ones he had. which was fine, aziraphale had a fairly sizable collection now! aziraphale couldn't even imagine not having a book. what did he do before those clever little humans had created them? nothing at all, he supposed.
aziraphale was reaching the climax of niccoló machiavelli's "the prince" when he was interrupted by a larger group of angels showing up at his station than he was used to. aziraphale had been guarding the prison since shortly after jesus was born (the second time. born into heaven, so to speak.) and hadn't seen anything go into it, or come out of it. gabriel had said, 'why would we have you guard it, if there was nothing to guard? stupid angel. it's just not your business.' and so aziraphale didn't ask again, because what wasn't his business just...wasn't his business. he hadn't any need to worry about it anyways because whatever was in there didn't make a sound, and clearly no one wanted anything to do with it.
today was, in fact, not just like any other day. it'd started as it normally would, but then the strange looking angels approached and aziraphale stood up to greet them. "can i help you?"
"no, principality. we're here for the demon. move aside." said the tallest, and then gabriel was beside him, as calm and collected as he ever was.
demon.
"it's fine, aziraphale. this is their job." aziraphale stepped aside, because it wasn't his business. but...
"there's been a demon in there, this entire time? and i didn't know?"
the angels adorned in all the heavenly armor aziraphale could imagine unlocked the door with a wave of their hand, and then the door opened.
there was a demon inside. and aziraphale had sat day after day within a 50 foot radius of it for centuries upon centuries and he'd never known. "didn't i mention?" said gabriel, but aziraphale hardly heard it. he was in shock; gabriel had said it wasn't any of his business, but wasn't it? guarding a demon...that changed everything! aziraphale would've been more careful! he'd talk to himself less, at least. and how had the demon not made a sound all this time? aziraphale thought it was a cell full of failed creations, or something.. weird animals that weren't supposed to exist in the human world or plants that accidentally developed a taste for human flesh. aziraphale never would've guessed that the cell had a demon inside.
"you didn't.." so now aziraphale knew. what was he supposed to do? just keep guarding for the rest of forever? what was the demon for? why was it here, in heaven? why...why were these big scary angels dragging it out of it's solitude now, after all this time. what was the significance of today?
"the idea of it," gabriel began, aziraphale just about prayed for gabriel to answer any one of his inner questions, because he knew better than to ask them out loud. gabriel did, in his usual roundabout way. "is to stay ahead of the demons at all times. in having one of their own, we know what they'll be up to, and how to defeat them."
aziraphale could, sort of, understand that. it helped them win battles. what was better than helping god? it's what aziraphale was created for. "i imagine...demons would be rather unwilling to sellout their own, though."
"you'd be right." gabriel smiled, in a sort of unsettling way, and as if on cue, the armored angels came out, dragging the demon with them. now aziraphale had never seen a real demon before, he'd imagined what one would look like based on the stories he'd read and the bible's description, which all lead him to believe demons were sort of animalistic-type humanoids. aziraphale did not expect what came out of that cell, not one little bit.
it was a man...well not very much a man but a man-like thing, with bright red hair, and skin darker than his own, but nothing like eve's. he was dirty, his hair was long and ratty but he never grew a beard. he wore a robe, a long black one, tattered in several places. the only things that truly looked inherently demon about him were his eyes, golden with little slits for pupils, and fangs that aziraphale caught sight of as soon as the demon came out of the box. instead of struggling, the demon calmly let the angels drag him alongside them, and when he looked at aziraphale, directly at aziraphale...he smiled. wide, toothy, intimidating...and aziraphale quickly looked away to keep from making eye contact with him.
gabriel gave a full body shiver. "disgusting. i feel for the angels that actually have to go near that thing. anyways, aziraphale." he grabbed the principality's attention. "you can do what you like until the demon is returned to it's proper place. if you'd like, you can watch the torturing, if that's what you're interested in. it can be rather exciting if you're looking for that." aziraphale was not. "otherwise, you're free to roam heaven or, for your excellent work, visit earth if it so pleases you. just be back as soon as i call, or i won't be so rewarding next time."
aziraphale's eyes lit up, "yes! i'll be good!"
gabriel was already on his way out, probably to watch what he'd called 'the torturing,' which didn't sound like anything he could stomach. no, aziraphale certainly wouldn't be doing that. he could go to earth again, finally! he'd go looking for books first, then see what humans were up to these days...aziraphale could get up to a lot in the span of a few hours. hopefully he'd have a day or so, who could tell. aziraphale was bustling with excitement all the way down to the earth transport system, he could hardly hear the screaming that echoed down the corridor.
well.
aziraphale stopped. it sounded like human screaming, like agony and pain and despair and he could feel it all because that's what angels were supposed to do. they felt, and aziraphale felt an immediate amount of every antonym to sadness. it made his stomach lurch and suddenly aziraphale's throat went very dry.
there was no way it could be from the demon, demons didn't feel that way. if anything should come from the demon it should be guilt, but there wasn't any of that. just a crippling regret that brought aziraphale's hand to his mouth and nearly brought him to his knees. it was awful. it was worse than anything aziraphale had ever heard. and it was coming from heaven.
he found himself gravitating towards the noise, because when aziraphale felt someone aching it was hard for him to ignore it. it was his empathy that had gotten him in trouble last time but...that was neither here nor there. "g..gabriel? are you there?" no reply. gabriel had gone this way, hadn't he? the screaming ceased, for a moment. aziraphale stopped.
then there was shouting, someone was begging someone else to stop, 'stop, no more, i didn't do anything, please,' and then there was a gruff voice, an angel's voice, scolding the other. and then, the strangest thing, there was laughter. forced, strained and raspy, but they were definitely laughing. it was same voice that was begging before, and then they mocked themselves, somehow. "oh no, stoooop, im begging you, no more," there was more laughter, and then- "you angels are so dim-witted. i like this, you idiots! could do this all day! bring that big silver-haired guy in again, with the long curly beard. he's my favorite."
aziraphale couldn't help but peak around the corner, into the room. the demon was there, past a large window, gabriel on the opposite side of it. sandalphon was in the window part of the room with the demon, that wasn't unheard of. sandalphon specialized in all the meaner parts of heaven. the demon was smiling, his face all black and blue. his wrists and ankles were strapped to a chair, his shirt gone. there were little wires placed about his body, aziraphale assumed they were shocking him. "i have nothing to say to you. you think i still have information for you? and if i did, you think i'd really give it to you. no darlings, you're barking up the wrongest tree. wrongest? most wrong. wrongest."
aziraphale laughed very quietly, because it was funny. he covered his mouth, and the demon's eyes met his. just for a moment, before aziraphale had to look away. there was something about his eyes, something that whispered to him. it was dangerous. "aziraphale! come in, we're just getting started." gabriel smiled, and welcomed the angel in. he really didn't have a choice now, but the demon's eyes were boring into him, aziraphale could feel it. "this could be where you're headed, you'd like that armor wouldn't you? very popular around here, the armor."
"oh no, i couldn't." aziraphale smiled back at him nervously. "i like the job i have now...a-and you said-"
"yes, aziraphale, i know what i said. you work hard, we'll put you back on earth. angel's promise." gabriel put his hand over his chest. "i'm just saying...before then, you could be promoted. keep working hard."
aziraphale's eyes lit up again, they always did when he got praised. gabriel wasn't' the type so appraisal from him was rare and hard to come by. if he was praising aziraphale, even indirectly, aziraphale must've been doing very well. "i will."
"it's like i'm not even in the room. hellooo? this is about me?" the demon hissed, and when aziraphale looked at him, he licked his lips. aziraphale cringed. "you're cute but not that cute."
aziraphale blushed. "who's next then?"
gabriel was frowning, clearly very upset. "stay here, i'll be back. i have to go get someone else for this. sandalphon...keep going. don't give it anymore breaks."
"wait but-"
"stay, aziraphale. you have plenty of time for earth roaming."
aziraphale nodded sadly, and watched gabriel leave. he didn't want to be in the same room as the demon for much longer, but. it'd be far more dangerous to disobey gabriel, especially after he'd gotten so close to getting to earth. for good.
"such a bummer. you like earth that much. what's so great about it?"
before aziraphale could answer, sandalphon slapped the demon across the face, hard enough to knock both him and the chair over on its side. "ooh, that smarts." the demon flipped himself onto his back, and his eyes slowly roamed back over to where aziraphale stood. "tell me...what happens at the end of that last book you were reading, about the prince? in case i die here."
aziraphale went red, all the way up to his ears and down his neck; he'd read books out loud to himself because his area was completely silent, otherwise. it filled a void, and aziraphale thought he was alone. that meant the demon heard him every time he talked to himself and said nothing. "i..."
"don't talk to him." sandalphon told the demon, and he placed his foot on the demon's chest, and pressed down until the demon was yelling, coughing, gasping for air. "aziraphale, come in here."
no no no no "o-okay," aziraphale opened the small door to the window room, and stepped inside. he closed it afterwards. sandalphon grabbed his arm, and pulled him forward.
"step on it for me. keep the pressure heavy. i'll be back." aziraphale let sandalphon guide him over to the demon, because aziraphale was honestly in shock, and sandalphon kneeled to the demon's level to look him in the eye. "and when i get back, there will be holy water. but i'm not going to kill you yet. think about that."
the demon was not smiling. aziraphale pushed his foot down, in an attempt to be stern. the demon started to heave, and just by instinct, aziraphale let up. "what..." the demon was out of breath."what are you doing here, really. you said it yourself...this-"
"don't.. um, don't talk. don't talk to me." aziraphale looked him in the eye, as if to challenge him. the demon didn't shy away, even when aziraphale turned up his holy light. the demon just stared back, yellow eyes bright with fire.
the demon smiled. "alright, i'll talk to someone else then. hey, wall! did you know, when aziraphale thinks they're alone, they like to-"
"stop!" aziraphale wasn't exactly sure what the demon was going to say, but he had an idea and it wasn't good. it'd probably be true, too. that was the thing. "d-don't talk at all!" aziraphale pressed harder, the demon wheezed into a laugh.
"i'm not trying to upset you, aziraphale. i just want to know how the book ends. can you tell me how the book ends?" his voice was raspy with effort but he must've been very passionate about that book, if he rattled off that entire sentence when aziraphale was sure he was causing the demon a great deal of pain.
aziraphale hesitated, for a moment, but...it was his dying wish. no one else would talk to aziraphale about books. "it just...goes into detail about.. um, how it's better to be feared than loved. b-but it's not the same as being hated. because hatred overcomes...fear." the demon was giving him a look that aziraphale couldn't really understand. it was something of admiration but that wasn't possible because demons were incapable of feeling. it was angel 101, everyone knew that demons were just the absolute worst. that's why they were torturing this one! he was evil! he deserved it!
the evil thing smiled, genuinely. "thank you. it's a very interesting read. i was enthralled." aziraphale's foot had long since lightened up, and the demon could speak clearly now. "thank you for showing me kindness. i know it's not easy, to look at a thing like me, in the state i'm in now. i liked listening to you read, you know? it made all this just a little bit bearable."
aziraphale frowned. "you liked the books i read?"
the demon nodded. "i liked hearing you read them. you love books and i can hear it in your voice when you read aloud. it was nice. no one's ever read to me before."
"i..wasn't reading to you." said aziraphale. the demon's eyes had considerably softened and aziraphale found that he was able to look at them.
"i know." the demon smiled, fangs poking out past his lips. he licked blood away from them before continuing. "crowley, by the way. that's my name. doesn't really matter now, since i'm going to die today, but."
crowley. it was familiar, somehow. "sandalphon isn't going to kill you. he said so."
"he said 'yet.' he is going to kill me, because i'm not going to cooperate. it's fine, i've known this day was coming for a while now."
"just...just tell them what they want to know and you don't have to get hurt anymore. they're only doing this because they need information." aziraphale had scanned over crowley's body and he was definitely worse for wear. he probably hadn't been in touch with his demon magic for centuries. aziraphale couldn't imagine what it'd be like not to be able to perform miracles, or feel god's love anymore. it must've been very sad.
but, no. because crowley was evil. so were the other demons. "you really believe that?" said crowley. "i thought you were clever."
"i am clever. gabriel said-"
"oh i know what gabriel said." crowley interrupted him, and he hissed after he spat gabriel's name. "you're never going to earth, aziraphale. you know why? because you want it so bad. angels are not allowed to want. he's using you, because you're eassssy."
aziraphale had nothing to say, because aziraphale had always worried about this, at his very core. "g-gabriel wouldn't lie to me."
"he would!" another hiss. "you'd not be the firsssst, angel, and certainly not the last. don't be ssssso naive, it's unbecoming."
aziraphale stepped on him. crowley shut his eyes tight, and he kept his damned mouth shut! "aziraphale, what are you-? i told sandalphon to stay. did he tell you to...step on the demon?"
aziraphale's head snapped to attention. "um, yes."
gabriel ran his hand down his face. "pick the chair up properly. carefully."
aziraphale did as he was told. crowley took a deep breath, and his eyes shot open again, sharp and cutting, unlike how they looked when he and aziraphale were alone. it was so strange. the demon looked unafraid to die but he sounded so melancholy to aziraphale. what was the truth? were the angels wrong in saying demons couldn't feel anything at all? why was crowley so different from anything aziraphale had ever imagined? it made him extremely uneasy.
"now get out of there, sandalphon will be back momentarily." gabriel stared daggers at the demon, and then helped aziraphale through the door. "he didn't say anything, did he?" gabriel whispered to him. "did he tell you anything while i was gone?"
aziraphale looked at the demon, who was staring at the floor now, his face twisted in disdain. "no..." he lied. it wasn't so much a lie as it was just a technicality, it's not like crowley said anything about the demons. "nothing." aziraphale just didn't want to give the details.
"bye, angel." said crowley, tone of his voice soft with something aziraphale couldn't read. gabriel flicked a finger up towards the air, and crowley's head snapped back towards the ceiling.
"no more talking, unless you're going to tell me what i want to hear."
aziraphale quickly left the room.