Chapter Text
“Yosuke, partner! Over here!”
Yosuke passed Yu the ball, and Yu lined himself up for the shot with his blood pounding in his ears. There were only a few seconds left on the clock; if he made this three-pointer, they could still win the game. He watched the ball arc through the air, bounce on the rim for a long, terrifying moment, and finally swoosh through the net moments before the buzzer rang, the team exploding into loud whoops and cheers.
“That’s my partner!” he heard Yosuke yell amidst the rest of the noise.
Yu turned back towards him, catching his eye, and they ran towards each other with matching grins. When they met, Yu picked Yosuke up, swinging him around with a laugh.
“We did it!” he exclaimed as he put Yosuke back down with a kiss, heart still beating much too fast.
When he pulled back, the first thing he noticed was the strange, sudden silence. The second was Yosuke’s hand, still held up as if for a high five. The third was the look of sheer horror on Yosuke’s face, and that was when he realised the awful mistake he’d just made. Months of carefully hiding his crush and all it had taken was one burst of adrenaline to undo it all. He took a step back, starting to hyperventilate as he tried to figure out how he could fix this.
Kou passed behind him and tapped his shoulder. “Locker room,” he said quietly. “I’ll keep the guys busy here.”
Yu glanced back at Kou, trying to slow his breathing down and smooth out his terrified features, but from Kou’s sympathetic wince, he could tell he’d failed. He followed Yosuke towards the locker room with his head down, trying his best not to overhear the whispered rumors that were already starting.
In the locker room, Yu changed in silence. It wasn’t until he had his bag slung over his shoulder that he noticed Yosuke was still sitting on the bench in his basketball shorts and his jersey. When Yu realised why, he felt his heart shatter.
Yosuke had been very clear from the start about his sexual orientation. He liked girls. He’d been outright terrified of Kanji just over the idea that he might like guys, to the point that he hadn’t even wanted to share the same tent as him. And now Yu had gone and kissed him, in public to boot. It was assault, was what it was, and complete betrayal of the trust they’d had in each other. Of course Yosuke didn’t want to change in the same room as him.
“I’m…” Yu took a trembling breath. “I’m so sorry, Yosuke. I—I’ll go, and I understand if you want me to stay away from you. I’ll tell the team, I’ll figure something out so we don’t have to go in the TV together, I’m just… there’s no excuse,” he finished, hanging his head.
“Come on,” Yosuke said in a concerned tone, “there’s no need for that. We’re still best friends. It’s just, uh, I’m flattered, but… you know I’m not gay, man.”
Yu’s eyes flooded with tears, and he swallowed back the sobs that threatened to burst from his throat. Of course he knew that; that was why he’d planned not to ever say anything. It didn’t make the rejection any less painful, though.
“I know. I know, Yosuke, I’m so, so sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I promise I’ll never do it again.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it, dude. We’re good.”
His actions belied his words, though; he still wasn’t changing, his arms and legs remaining crossed tight. That pose was his “armor,” as Yu thought of it—the one he wore when he wasn’t with the team, to protect him against the jeers and insults of the townspeople who blamed him for Junes. Seeing it turned against him made Yu suddenly want to throw up.
He reached to clutch at his chest, unable to stop a pained hiccup from escaping. “I’ll see you around,” he managed to choke out before rushing away to go hide his tears in a dark corner of the school.
The next few days made it obvious Yosuke was uncomfortable around Yu, regardless of what he’d said. He didn’t call him up anymore to hang out, nor blew up his phone with text messages when he was on break at Junes. It was a small blessing that summer vacation had started just after the game, sparing Yu the agony of hearing Yosuke find excuse after excuse not to spend time with him. There was the added bonus that it would keep rumors at bay for now, although Yu knew once school started back up there would be no escaping them.
Yu did his best to keep up appearances. He had busy days, with part time jobs and studying occupying his every free moment. But even though it felt like his life had fallen apart, the TV world stopped for no one, and with the appearance of Mitsuo Kubo on the Midnight Channel, he had to call the team together frequently to make progress. He did his best to keep things normal, to plan things out with Yosuke like they’d always done, but the tension between them was undeniable. The worst was the day he realised Yosuke hadn’t called him his partner since the kiss. He faked a stomach illness to end their outing early that time, unable to focus any longer. It wasn’t even much of a lie, really; the realisation truly had made him feel sick.
When he came home in the evenings, he rarely found the strength to do more than sit in his darkened room, hating himself more every day for ruining the best friendship he’d ever had. Sometimes, he gave in to the temptation of looking him up online, but his casual, happy posts and pictures only reminded Yu of the new messages he wasn’t receiving.
Just about a week after that fateful basketball game, Rise cornered him on their way out of the TV.
“Senpai, can you walk home with me? You can pick up Dojima-san’s tofu order.”
Yu looked up at her, surprised. It would certainly be the first time Dojima had bought tofu. The meaningful look Rise gave him kept his mouth shut, though. He nodded, and fell into step by her side.
She let Kanji walk on ahead of them, waiting until they’d gotten out of earshot to ask him, “What’s wrong?”
“What do you mean? Nothing’s wrong.”
She glared at him. “Don’t lie to me! I can tell, you know. With Himiko. I can’t read your thoughts or anything, but you’ve been so moody lately it’s all I can sense. It’s putting everyone on edge!”
“Oh. I’m sorry, Rise, I didn’t realise it was impacting everyone else. I’ll do my best not to let it show.”
Rise sighed. “Senpai, I wasn’t criticizing you. I was asking as a friend. There’s obviously something wrong! Usually I’d let Yosuke handle it, but… well, he’s giving off strange readings, too. It’s related, isn’t it?”
Yu looked at her for a long moment. He didn’t want to bother anyone with a problem that was entirely his own fault, but… talking to someone sounded so good right now. He felt completely lost. He wasn’t sure Rise was the right person for it; she’d never hidden her affection for him, and talking to her about his own crush seemed unnecessarily cruel. But she’d offered, and of everyone on the team she was the person he trusted most, the one who’d understand this sort of thing best. He made up his mind, apologizing silently to her for his selfishness, and led them to the shrine to talk.
There, they sat on a bench under a tree. He wrapped his jacket around her shoulders before saying anything, seeing her shiver in the night’s chill.
“So, spill it,” she prompted him afterwards, turning towards him with her hands on her knees. “What happened?”
“Well… you were right, it is related to Yosuke. I, um…” Yu scrubbed a hand across his face. “You promise you won’t tell anyone?”
“Please, Senpai,” Rise scoffed. “I can keep a secret.”
Yu inhaled deeply and braced himself for the outburst. “I kissed him.”
“Oh my god!” Rise yelled, then slapped a hand over her mouth guiltily and repeated much more quietly, “oh my god, really?”
He nodded, staring at his feet.
“And… I’m guessing he didn’t take it too well, did he.”
“No, it could have been worse. He didn’t freak out, or run away, or anything. But he hasn’t—” Yu clenched his fists in his lap and took a deep breath—”he hasn’t asked me to hang out since then, he never calls or texts, and…he doesn’t call me his partner anymore,” he finished in a broken voice.
“Oh, Yu…” Rise shifted closer to him, carefully putting an arm around his shoulder and squeezing. The comforting touch shattered the last of his restraint, and he let his forehead fall onto her shoulder. She put her other arm around him as he finally gave in to the tears he’d been fighting off for weeks.
They stayed like this until he stopped crying, her arms warm and gentle around him. He drew away, wiping at his face. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be talking to you, of all people, about this. It’s not very considerate.” He reached for the edge of the bench to stand up. “Come, I’ll walk you home.”
Rise tightened her grip to keep him from moving. “I’m not gonna lie, Senpai. I wish we were here under different circumstances. But that doesn’t matter. I’m here for you, ok? We all are, we’re your friends. You’re allowed to ask us for help with stuff outside the TV world too, you know.”
Yu gave her a watery smile and she released him, settling back against the bench. “Now, do you want to talk about it?”
“It’s fine.”
“No,” she retorted, “it’s not. It’s ok to not be ok, you know! You don’t have to keep it all inside until you’re walking around like some sort of Yu-shaped thundercloud.”
He made a face and sighed. “Yeah. You’re right, it’s not ok. But it’s also past midnight, so… maybe not tonight?”
Rise squinted at him. “Fine. Tomorrow, then. I don’t have to work at the shop.”
“Hm, I was planning to study, but I guess I can do that later.”
“Alright,” Rise said as she stood, “then it’s a date!”
“Rise…”
“It was a joke,” she laughed, latching onto his arm as she always did, leading him away from the shrine.
The next morning, Yu’s phone buzzed while he sat in the living room drawing with Nanako. He suppressed a sigh when he saw that it was from Rise; he’d hoped she’d forgotten about his promise the previous evening.
Rise
u cn come ovr 2 my place @ 2, k?
c u soon senpai!1!!
Part of him was tempted to cancel on her. He was so used to keeping all his emotions to himself that the idea of opening up to anyone made him want to hide under the couch and never come out. He knew she had a point, though; it wasn’t going to do anyone any good if he had a mental breakdown in the middle of a battle, nor at one of his many jobs, for that matter. Too many people were counting on him, inside and outside the TV world. And the truth was… he kind of wanted to talk about it. He was hurt, and tired, and so tired of hurting.
Yu
I’ll be there. See you soon.
Rise’s bedroom was exactly the sort of place he’d imagined it to be; everything was pink and frilly, with stuffed animals everywhere—the epitome of “girly.” He sat on the edge of her desk chair, overwhelmed by the sheer amount of cushions and posters and decorations. It was the complete opposite of his very minimalist, utilitarian bedroom.
“Come here,” Rise said as she jumped onto her bed, patting the spot next to her. “You look like so formal sitting over there. That’s no way to have a heart-to-heart!”
Yu frowned at the concept of a “heart-to-heart,” which sounded much more sentimental than what he’d been planning on, but joined her on the bed anyway. He sat stiffly next to her, conscious that it was the first time he was sitting on a girl’s bed.
“So. Tell me everything! What happened, why’d you kiss him?!”
“Okay, well, there was a basketball game on the last day of school, right?” Yu started hesitantly. “I asked Yosuke to play with us, because we were short one person. We thought we were going to lose—I mean the team is pretty mediocre—but somehow we managed to pull through, and I was so excited about it that when he ran towards me for a high five, I… kissed him. He looked so horrified when I did. He said we were still friends, but he doesn’t even want to be around me anymore. I miss him so much, Rise.”
“Um, ok. Wow. Don’t take this the wrong way, but, how did you think he was going to react?”
“I didn’t!” Yu exclaimed, wringing his hands. “Think, I mean. I didn’t think. That’s the whole problem. Of course I knew he wouldn’t be ok with it. I never meant to do it. I wasn’t ever going to tell him I had a crush on him, I’m not stupid.”
Rise laid a hand on top of his, keeping him from twisting and tugging at his fingers. “Hey, don’t worry. It’s gonna be ok. He’s your best friend, he’ll come around.”
“You really think so?”
“He’d better. And if he doesn’t, he never deserved you,” she replied heatedly.
Yu gave a dry chuckle at that. “Thanks, Rise.”
“I mean it, ok! You’re amazing, and he should realise it’s a compliment for you to be interested in him!”
“I don’t think he sees it that way. And anyway, I kissed him without his consent—no, worse, with the knowledge that he wouldn’t be ok with it. That’s not exactly best friend behavior.”
“Well… well, I guess it’s not great. But he said you guys were still friends! Maybe he just needs some time to process it.”
“Maybe…” Yu replied dubiously.
“What I think is, you need a distraction.”
“I’ve got plenty of distractions, I’m working 5 different jobs this summer. Plus taking care of Nanako, and studying.”
Rise rolled her eyes at him. “Those aren’t distractions, Senpai. I meant something fun. Ooh, I know! Let’s go to Okina City together.”
Yu narrowed his eyes at her. “I’m not sure going to Croco Fur will distract me much.”
“I wasn’t going to take you shopping!” she replied indignantly. “I was thinking we could get some crepes and then hit the arcade. Sugar and games are the best kind of therapy.”
“You go to the arcade?” Yu asked, surprised.
“Um, excuse me? Where do you think I got all those stuffed animals?”
That evening, after a day in Okina followed by a night of at his tutoring job, Yu laid in bed staring at the sky through his window. For the first time in a few weeks, he almost felt… ok. Not good, not by any means—he still missed Yosuke more than he could have ever imagined missing anybody—but better. He’d been so focused on his best friend that he’d forgotten he had other friends, too.
The rest of the summer passed without any changes in Yosuke’s behavior. The only messages Yu got from him were group texts, requesting help at Junes or synchronizing TV world outings. Rise, however, texted him nearly every day, and whenever both of their schedules matched up, asked him out or invited herself over. They had fun together. She took him to places in Okina he’d never heard of, like a surprisingly large bookshop a bit out of the main street’s way, or an amazing spicy ramen place that they left splattered in sauce and laughing at each other’s sweaty faces.
Sometimes, they just spent the day playing with Nanako, and Rise surprised him with how good she was at following Nanako’s more childish whimsies. When she caught him looking one time, she told him how much she’d always loved kids. Back at the agency, she’d often spent what little free time she had at the on-site nursery, playing with them. Idols weren’t permitted to get pregnant, of course, but some of the solo artists the agency represented had young children, and she missed them. Nanako started looking forward to Rise’s visits; not only was she a great play partner, she often brought some tofu snacks from Marukyu with her, and one time she even gave Nanako a Detective Loveline toy, earning her his younger cousin’s undying loyalty.
Rise’s presence didn’t heal the hole Yosuke’s absence had left in his heart, but it was a little more distant when she was around. The best thing about her was that she didn’t ask anything from him. All the others, his friends as much as his employers, they all needed something from him; his help, his guidance, his support. But Rise was happy to just spend time with him, and he was more grateful to her for that than he could say. He knew why she was doing this, though, why she’d suddenly started treating him like her best friend, and he felt like he couldn’t keep taking advantage of her kindness. She had no patience for his attempt to tell her as much.
“I’m new here too, you know,” she’d said, pointing at him with the spoon from her sundae, at an ice cream parlor in Okina. “And all the people at school, they don’t see Rise when they look at me. They see Risette. Either they’re fans, or they hate me, but they’re not my friends. I mean sure, everyone on the team is kinda my friend, but Chie and Yukiko have each other, Kanji doesn’t really ever want to talk to anybody, Yosuke can’t help seeing me as an idol… I know we’ve been hanging out a lot lately but it’s not just for your sake, is what I’m trying to say. It’s been pretty lonely coming home to Inaba.”
After that outburst, Yu didn’t mention it again.
By the time school started back up, Yu and Rise were spending almost as much time together as he’d spent with Yosuke before. Everyone started jumping to the obvious conclusion, and the rumors over his kissing Yosuke were quickly eclipsed by those over his dating an idol. It turned out that a large part of the school had been interested in dating him, to his surprise—and an even larger in dating Rise, to nobody’s surprise. That they were both presumed taken by each other fueled the gossip mill with more than enough fodder to eclipse one alleged kiss, which only a handful of people had actually seen, and that the majority of the school didn’t seem to believe had even happened. Soon, Rise started holding his hand, rather than his arm, when they walked around the school halls, and her small, soft palm against his was warm and real.
Yu knew it was a foolish game to play. They were both lying to themselves; he could see in Rise’s looks, in her gentle touches, that her feelings for him hadn’t changed, and for his part he knew that no matter how hard he tried to convince himself, she would still never be able to replace Yosuke. He couldn’t bring himself to stop, though.
Then one evening on Marukyu’s doorstep, after a long walk by the riverside, she kissed him and he let it happen. She looked sad when she drew away, and he knew why, but then he was sad, too. Maybe being sad together was a little better than being sad alone. He leaned in to kiss her back and tried to tell himself it was what he wanted. The smile she gave him before she turned to go back inside a few minutes later was shaky, and the tears he couldn’t hold back as he walked home were no surprise. But Yosuke still hadn’t forgiven him, and who would have blamed him for trying to move on? Rise was kind, sweet, beautiful. She wasn’t Yosuke, would never be, but maybe he could learn to live with that.
After that evening, things changed. Kou asked him about his girlfriend, and he didn’t correct him. Whenever he had some free time, he always checked if Rise was free before asking anyone else. He brought her lunch, carried her bag, and sometimes, took her home to his bedroom. Her smile never reached her eyes, even behind that closed door. Neither did his.
He’d thought that perhaps letting their relationship seem official would finally bring Yosuke back around—see, I’m dating a girl, I’m normal, you don’t have to be scared of me—but on the contrary, Yosuke seemed to grow more and more distant from Yu as time passed. Where he’d usually made time for TV world strategizing, now he always found excuses to get out of it, and Yu had noticed him hanging back in the morning once or twice so that their paths wouldn’t cross as they walked to school. Well, Yu had kissed him, and as if that wasn’t enough, was now dating the idol he’d shown clear interest in. Perhaps it wasn’t so surprising that he wasn’t inclined to forgive him. It hurt, but what didn’t, these days?