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This is it: the moment he really knows he’s okay.
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https://archiveofourown.org/works/208623
John’s shoulders are shaking in rhythm now and for a second Rodney’s furious – John is fucking laughing? – before it hits him, what John’s really doing. Why he’s covering his face and why he’s breathing like that, noisy and a little wet. “Shit,” says Rodney, genuinely horrified on John’s behalf. “Oh, shit.” John Sheppard doesn’t do this, he doesn’t fall apart, and he’s going to fucking hate Rodney in about five minutes and for the rest of their fucking lives unless Rodney can figure out a way to pretend like he didn’t notice and it never happened.