Chapter Text
“Well we don’t need you!”
That was what shouted out of John Deacon’s mouth as he looked across his opponent.
Brian May. Brian who stood tall and proud of the band’s work, all except for now. Hot Space was very much a challenge for him.
Brian didn’t know what was worse, the album that was happening whether he liked it or not, or the fact that he may fly out of Munich with three less friends than he had before.
Over a decade of friendship gone. Because of one damn album. An album that was all John and Freddie and none of him and Roger.
Granted there were other albums they had done more than the rest of the band but this was just ridiculous! No guitar. Or the guitar that would be done was to be done by John and John only. Brian would be proud if it didn’t involve his place in the band. To be honest there was a lot of things that Brian questioned, his place in the band being one.
And John had just validated it.
“Fine. I’ll be off then” Brian said grabbing his coat and walking out.
Any pain that was shown in Freddie or Roger’s eyes had been ignored by Brian as he walked away slamming the door shut leaving his “family” and guitar behind.
Freddie looked over at John, the boy who had once been shy and a bit naive about the world they were about to enter was no longer there. Now stood a more confident and sure of himself man who took no prisoners. And Freddie wasn’t sure what to feel about this man. Of course he loved that his little Deaky had found his voice and spoke up but it was certainly no reason to stir up fights especially when they were wasting precious time in the studio.
“What the hell Deaky?” Roger asked after the door was slammed shut.
Unlike Freddie who could see where John was coming from somewhat, Roger wasn’t having it.
“That was our guitarist! Our friend!” Roger growled going closer to him.
Freddie got in between them.
“No use arguing more now let’s just try to get something done!” Freddie said eyes pleading for Roger to not start another fight.
Roger just sighed and looked at the place where Brian had once been.
Brian sighed as he walked down the road, his thin coat hardly helping him feel anything but cold. He crossed his arms and stared at the road ahead. It wasn’t a long walk to the town and it gave Brian time to think.
Something that Brian had done a lot of lately. With this album and not being of use, it gave his brain all the time in the world to think about himself, the band, his wife, his child...soon to be children. His Chrissie was pregnant again and almost due just a few months away.
‘I should be there with her. Some husband you are you tosser’ Brian thought as he walked past the woods. He remembered the understanding yet painful look in her eyes as he told he he was off to Munich for another album. She smiled sadly as she kissed him and saw him off.
‘I don’t deserve her. I don’t deserve any of this’
With every thought Brian had the slower he walked. He trudged along just looking ahead but not really seeing. No, he just replayed the moments before in his head.
He wasn’t needed. Not anywhere. Not in the band, no in his family, and certainly not with himself. He felt no better than a little pebble of sand.
“HELP!” A voice shouted breaking Brian from his thoughts.
He whipped around and saw a boy just a little older than his son. His blue eyes wide with fear and body trembling.
“Hey there, what’s wrong?” Brian asked his voice gentle to not spook the boy further.
The boy looked at him teary eyed and with broken english whimpered.
“Sister! She fell in the pond! Help her!” The boy cried.
Without waiting the boy grabbed his hand and with strength Brian didn’t know the boy had, yanked him towards the pond.
Brian surveyed the pond and saw near land it was frozen over solid but as his eyes drifted more over the water he saw the ice get thinner and thinner until he saw the crack of ice making water come up and sinking it.
He looked and saw the water moving frantically and then realized.
It was the sister of the boy who got him here. And she was drowning.
Without any hesitation, he pulled off his coat and ran out. He got to the edge of the ice as carefully as he could and kneeled down reaching into the ice cold water. Ignoring the pin pricks that shot up in his arm as his body reacted to the cold. He reached for the girl and pulled her out.
She was a tiny young one. This one more of his Jimmy’s age. She was soaked all the way through and shaking like a leaf.
For one moment he just held her close she was thankfully still breathing and awake sobbing. But clinging to him.
But the moment was gone as soon as Brian felt the ice starting to crack. With a small gasp he looked at the girl.
Brian knew there was no chance of getting them both to safety. But taking the chance, he slid the girl back to her brother on the thicker ice and thankfully he caught her.
But it was too late for himself. The ice cracked beneath him and Brian felt the numbing coldness of the water around him.
Brian thankfully knew how to swim. He kicked his legs upwards and willed his arms to move. His lungs burning trying to get one breath of air.
“WE DON’T NEED YOU!” John’s voice shouted in his mind stopping all movement in his body.
John was right. They didn’t need him. With the synthesizers and instruments designed to make his job of playing guitar a thing of the past. He was useless to Queen as a whole. They didn’t need them.
Chrissie. His sweet wife who had given him his son and another child he won’t get to meet. But that’s ok. In time she would find someone better with a better job and someone who would spend more time with them. Not him. He who took off with guitar in hand jet setting across the world with three men who he saw as brothers. But now who saw him as nothing.
‘I’m sorry Red, I’ll see you in another life’ He saw her in his mind. His guitar who had been with him all his teen years until now. Now she’d go on. Be played by someone better.
He felt the water fill his lungs. It wasn’t as scary as he thought it would be. His mind drifted off to happier times. Ridge farm, the boys smiling and playing. Top of the Pops, Queen....Roger, Freddie, John...
‘Goodbye...’ Brian thought as his eyes closed.