Work Text:
The morning sun glistens through the window of Stevie's apartment. Schitt's Creek was blanketed in several inches of dense, wet snow overnight. She makes herself a thermos of hot coffee, throws on her boots, coat, gloves, and hat to head into work for the morning shift at the motel.
At the motel Stevie wades through the fresh snow that crunches beneath her feet. She doesn't notice any footsteps in the white swath surrounding motel, so it would appear that no guests have ventured out into the morning cold yet.
She heads around to the back of the motel to grab a snow shovel to clear the motel's sidewalks, making them safe and passable for guests. Starting at the end of the motel by Room 1, Stevie begins shoveling heaps of snow off of the walkway. She makes her way towards the office, managing to only make a few loud scraping noises as she goes. Looking back at the glistening pile of snow that has accumulated on the lawn of the motel, she is struck with an idea. Looking at her watch she determines that, since it is only 7:45 in the morning, she has more than ample time to execute her plan.
Stevie laughs quietly to herself and takes a clump of snow into her gloved hands, packing it down. The cool breeze whips through her hair as she reaches beneath her, grabbing more snow to add to the ball slowly accumulating in her hands. Placing the ball on the ground she rolls it a few times to increase its size, and bringing it to rest in front of the door of Room 7 – Alexis and David’s room.
Again she grabs a small handful of snow and crunches it into a new rounded mound. Stevie continues to add snow to the mass in her hands until it is slightly smaller than the first. She places the second round mound of snow atop the first that currently sits in front of Room 7.
She creates a final sphere of compacted snow, this one even smaller than the first two. Placing it on top of the other two, she stepped back to admire her handiwork. In front of her is an approximately three-foot tall snowman in front of David's room. Since she made the snowballs out of snow from the sidewalk, she has also managed to partially clear the path along all of the doors of the motel. Stevie then grabs her shovel to finish clearing the walkway of fallen snow.
While Stevie is impressed with her snow creature, she realizes he is missing a few things, notably arms, eyes, a nose, et cetera. She begins searching around the motel for items to complete her snow masterpiece. She snags an orange highlighter from the front desk to fashion a nose. A small tree around the corner of the motel generously donates two low-hanging limbs to serve as arms. Coffee creamer cups from the recently upgraded coffee station in the office form the eyes of her snowman.
Stevie places the creamer cups and highlighter on the top snow round, creating a face. She inserts the two sticks on opposite sides of the second ball, creating weird little grabby arms directed right at David’s front door.
As she scurries back around to the door of Room 7, she passes the honeymoon suite and is hit with one last stroke of diabolical genius. Her eyes gleam with a hint of mischief as she reaches into her pocket for her keys and pulls out the key to the honeymoon suite that is otherwise known as David's second closet. Once inside, she begins shuffling through David's mountain of miscellaneous articles of clothing. Stevie pulls out a pair of fingerless leather gloves (fingerless? Really? What is even the point of gloves without fingers???), the knit hat David stole from the store during the "lice" outbreak, and what she can only assume is an extremely overpriced black wool scarf.
She jogs back to Room 7 and places the fingerless gloves on the stick arms, wraps the scarf between the top and middle snowballs. Finally, she places the grey kit hat on top and a proud, sly grin takes over her face.
Given that David was seemingly deprived of the joys of a normal childhood, Stevie is almost certain that he won't know what the hell has appeared on his doorstep. If anything, considering most of David's real life knowledge is gained from movies, David will almost certainly assume it is the killer snowman Jack Frost here to drive an icicle into his chest and kill him once and for all.
Overly pleased with herself, Stevie finally makes her way to the front desk of the motel to begin her shift. She clicks open a game of solitaire on the ancient motel computer, kicks back, and waits.
Less than thirty minutes later she is pulled from her game by a loud screech followed by "WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS" coming from outside the motel. Resisting the urge to fall over laughing, she hurries to the office door to peek out. There she sees her best friend, ass on the ground and his day bag tossed to the side. He alternates between scowling at her and the snow creation from his place on the sidewalk outside Room 7.
"Stevie. What the fuck?! Did you do this?" He yells in her direction.
"How unappreciative, David. Not only did I make you a snowman, but I made you a high fashion snowman!” She quips back at him. “AND I cleared the snow from the sidewalk on which your ass currently rests. You’re welcome!!!”
David gets himself off the sidewalk and further inspects the creature before him, realizing that Stevie indeed had used his clothes to create the “high fashion” snowman. He looks back at Stevie, his face shifting from a cutting, annoyed glare to a bemused smile.
“You know... I haven’t made a snowman since I was a kid,” David confides in her.
“Given what I know about you I’m just genuinely shocked you’ve ever made a snowman in your life,” she replies.
David glares at Stevie and turns to appraise the sea of white surrounding the motel, a joyful glimmer starting to sprout in his eye.
Just then the door to Room 7 swings open again. “DAVID. What is your PROBLEM!” Alexis yells, sticking her head out of the motel room door. She looks at her brother who immediately points at Stevie’s snowman.
“STEVIE so kindly made this outside our door and I tripped over it trying to go to work like a responsible adult,” he retorts.
“Awh! Stevie! A little Snowman!!! With little gloves and…David. Is that your hat?”
“Yes! Those are my gloves and my hat AND my scarf!!!” David supplies, his face alternating between inconvenienced and endeared.
Alexis smiles broadly at Stevie, and back at her brother.
“David. Have you ever even made a snowman?” Alexis asks, looking at him with bright inquisitive eyes.
“Yes, Alexis, I have. Thank you very much!” David replies in a slightly sassy manner, crossing his arms and attempting to look put off.
“Ugh! I haven’t made one in…like…forever!” She then turns to Stevie. “Um. Stevie? Will you make a snowman with us?!”
So Stevie did, and that’s how a five-foot tall snowman ended up sitting on the front lawn of the Rosebud Motel. David doesn’t let them use any of his items for the large snowman, insisting that “this town doesn’t appreciate fashion, and anyways, those gloves cost $1,200.” So Stevie donates her hat and scarf to the Rosebud snowman who was a guest for five days until a warm snap turned him into slush, taking Stevie’s hat and scarf with him.