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Dear Arthur,
I’m sorry, I’m not who you think I was, I’m sorry that you will feel betrayed for I’ve lied to you all this time. The truth is, I am a sorcerer and there’s nothing I can do to change that because I was born with magic in my veins. When I came to Camelot I was given a prophecy about the once and future king and the greatest sorcerer ever to walk the earth. You might not believe I am the sorcerer but at the start I also didn’t believe a huge prat like you could be the oh so called once and future king, that is until i was forced to stay with you as your manservant.
Spending those years with you convince me not only that you are a royal dolophead but also a good man and a noble knight which I believe the perfect combination to become the once and future king. I spend my life protecting you and you see, I’ve done things that I’m not proud of and there are many I need to sacrifice but, not once have I regret making sure you can live another day without harm. I know what your reaction will be if you found out about me, you will be furious of course. I also know you won’t hurt me. I didn’t tell you what I really was, not because I don’t trust you but simply for the reason that I don’t want to make you hide this secret from your family and friends. I hid this secret all my life and I know how hurtful it can be. I decidedly did not want you to ever feel this hurt.
I also know how your father will react if he found out. Arthur, I write this because your father did found out about me. I was using protection magic on your shields, I know, how stupid of me. Arthur, there is a pyre outside, I can hear the soldiers building it and I can hear Gaius and Gwen crying, begging, and yelling at them. The king has come to a verdict, that I am to be burn tonight before the prince came back from in the morning to minimized the “influence” I had on the prince.
Percival volunteer to set my fire when he brought me a feather, ink and paper. It might sound bad but I do prefer him instead the other knights or guards. I can’t ask Gwaine, for he already joined Gaius and Gwen yelling outside. Percival didn’t sneer at me after he know what I am, unlike the other knights and he had a really gentle eyes, I am relieved that he volunteer.
Arthur, when you arrive along with the first ray of sun and Gaius gave you this letter, I want you to listen. I will not gave you permission to feel guilty because it is not your fault, it never is and it never will. You are my friend and my true king, I am honoured to stay by your side for as long as I can and I love you Arthur, with every bit of my body, I love you. When I closed my eyes tonight, I will think of you, your shining golden hair, stunning cheekbones and jawlines, wonderful nose, beautiful blue sky eyes, and of course those marvellous lips. I will remember your smile and that annoyed face you make every morning when I would woke you up. I will remember the sound of your laugh, the way you hold a sword and dance in battle while protecting the innocent.
I didn’t tell you this to make you feel any guilt for not returning my feelings, I know you didn’t see me that way but I can’t leave this world without telling you how much I adore you. I hope you find love too Arthur, maybe in Gwen, maybe in others but I hope you will find it, for I am filled with gratitude that I find mine in you.
Yours for eternity,
Merlin
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The sky was clear but dark without the sun, the stars shining above. Merlin tried to ignore the mad man staring down at him with hate and disdain. He looked at the eyes of everyone that hold him dear, trying to tell them it’s okay, don’t cry, it’s not their fault. When Uther call for it to begin, he can see Percival walking towards him with the torch. The courtyard oddly quite for the usual sorcerer burning. Percival stand as close as he can to him, he looked up with those gentle eyes and merlin reply with a small nod. Percival set the pyre on fire and walk back slowly. The fire started to spread, he could hear someone crying but he didn’t have energy left to find out who. He looked up at the sky, smoke began to rise and sting his eyes, but he kept looking up.
If only, Merlin thought, the sun has shine, then I can look at the blue sky that remind me of my love.
In front of the pyre, Percival who still holding the torch, saw merlin stubbornly looking up at the sky while the fire gets bigger until he too felt the heat but he remain still. On the last moment, he saw merlin closing his eyes while smiling so sweet like a lover embrace.
*********************
A few hour has passed, the first ray of sun came through companied by the sound of galloping horses, the prince has return. There’s a feeling of unease when the prince saw a remnant of a burning pyre, saw Gwen sobbing into Gwaine’s chest while hugging something, saw Percival who followed the prince with his eyes, almost sad, and then there’s Gaius, purposely standing awaiting the prince. The prince climb down from his horse and faced Gaius who present him with a white, folded paper, a letter.
The sun has fully shine when the prince crumbled to his knees and wails in agony.
*********************
There was a wise, fair, and kind king. He formed alliance with neighbouring kingdom with determination to bring bring peace and prosperity to all his people. He had the best and most trusted knights supporting him and the best advisor in his council, with the first woman in it, who shockingly, was a servant once. He was given the title once and future king and gave birth to Albion as the prophecy had foretold.
Although many wonders why such king never marries, even the alliance never been given some offer to marry the king. Marriage never seems to cross the king’s mind, although he need not such a thing to be a good king. He’s always kind and humble, he play with the kids from the lower town, walks every other day with his council and knights to the various shops in the city, and he was charming in every meeting with lords and other royalties. The king was living in happiness despite no marriage. He did adopt a child, a lonely peasant boy, as a son that become his sole heir to the throne.
On his 70th birthday, the once and future king passed away in his bed while sleeping. His son, who had become the king of Albion that time, intended to woke his father for dinner but found his beloved father already gone from this world.
*********************
Arthur opened his eyes and saw a bright blue sky, he was laying down in a flower bed it seems. He felt some youth in his body that haven’t been there for years. He didn’t understand what is happening and where he was but he felt quite peaceful. He’s been staring at the sky for a minute when he heard someone spoke, so close as if they were laying right beside him.
“The blue sky always remind me of your eyes”
Arthur recognised that voice even thought he haven’t heard it in years, he whipped his head toward the voice and met the most beautiful face he ever laid his eyes on. Oh how he missed him.
“Merlin, you idiot”
End