Chapter Text
After so long, Xiao Zhan had already accepted that he could not say no to YiBo.
Well, he could. He wanted? Yes, most of the time yes! Did he say no to most of the things the boy asked for? No, he didn't say no and one way or another YiBo always got what he wanted and every time Xiao Zhan felt like he was silently dying inside because that boy, Wang YiBo, was a threat, really too much for his heart.
There were days when Xiao Zhan really believed that YiBo was some kind of demon sent to mess with his life, but he was the kind that was simply irresistible, the kind that you would eventually happily sell your soul to.
Or maybe only Xiao Zhan felt that way? He doubted it, but well ...
Getting back to the current problem that Xiao Zhan couldn't say no to YiBo. He was beginning to believe he liked to suffer, he knew, Xiao Zhan wasn't a fool and he knew there was something between them, a spark, something that made them always look at each other. Everyone had noticed this, there were videos as evidence and fans creating theories and more videos (yes, he watched these videos and that contributed to his theory that he liked to suffer) showing how they interacted and looked at each other.
Xiao Zhan wasn’t really oblivious; he noticed the signs and tried his best not to notice. Many things could go wrong if he crossed the line with YiBo, they have their careers to worry about, if they crossed the line then they would keep looking and yearning for more and it's hard enough as it is now, they barely have time to see each other and the rumors had caused problems before.
Impossible, completely impossible. If they crossed the line, then it was the end, there would be no turning back and ... God, he didn't want to ruin anyone's life, not his own life, much less YiBo’s life.
He should put a distance between them, should try to push him away and keep him just as a good friend he met at work, a good friend he would keep in his heart after filming a drama together. He shouldn't let YiBo get too close, shouldn't include him in his life, but then again, he couldn't say no.
That's why when YiBo asked if he could go to Xiao Zhan's home when they were in the same city and had free time, Xiao Zhan didn't say no. He also didn't say no the other times that YiBo had come to visit him before. Letting YiBo into his home and end up cooking for him, and then going to his couch to watch TV and look at pictures was definitely not the right way not to include YiBo in his life. Showing an album of his childhood photos was also definitely not the right way not to include Wang YiBo in his personal life.
"When was that? How old were you?” YiBo asked, he was already in the middle of the album and Xiao Zhan had heard these two questions more than ten times.
Xiao Zhan sighed long suffering and looked at YiBo, the boy was sitting right beside him on the couch with his legs crossed and looking at the old family album as if it was the most interesting thing he had ever seen. Really, the concentration and interest with which the boy was looking at those pictures was almost flattering, Xiao Zhan would be flattered if he wasn't freaking out inside.
YiBo had nonchalantly mentioned that he wanted to see photos of Xiao Zhan when he was younger the last time they talked on the phone, so Xiao Zhan organized his photos on the album when YiBo said he was coming to visit, he removed all the photos he definitely didn't want to show to him and left some with his family in his hometown and some of him at different ages.
"Fourteen or fifteen," Xiao Zhan said after a glance at the photo that YiBo was pointing at.
"So young!" YiBo said in wonder, that seemed to be his reaction to all the photos Xiao Zhan showed him. "I knew it!" He exclaimed and turned his head to look at Xiao Zhan, smiling that smile that always made Xiao Zhan feel like he was being blinded or losing a few years of life. Why did that boy need to be so handsome? He really did things with Xiao Zhan’s heart with a simple smile.
Not a simple smile, a voice whispered in his head, You noticed, right? YiBo just smiles at you like that.
Xiao Zhan resisted the urge to shake his head or slap himself to get rid of those unwanted thoughts and images that his mind conjured up as proof of the argument and instead returned YiBo's grin with a small smile.
"What does Bo-di know?" Xiao Zhan asked as he turned his body and leaned against the couch in a slightly more comfortable position where he could look at YiBo without having to turn his head all the time and end up hurting his neck.
“Zhan-ge is beautiful since the day he was born!” YiBo stated firmly with all the confidence of someone who was confirming something that he was absolutely certain for a long time. “The most beautiful.”
Xiao Zhan looks up muttering a "here we go again” and rolls his eyes, but he is grinning like a fool when he looks again at YiBo who just laughed, because of course he would just laugh, this little gremlin.
“Baby Xiao Zhan was cute, teenager was handsome, adult Zhan-ge is...”
“Okay, I get it, you think I'm beautiful. Thank you! " Xiao Zhan interrupted him and raised both hands as if surrendering. “We praised each other so much that these words are almost losing their meaning.”
"I still think they mean a lot," YiBo said and then looked back at the photos.
Xiao Zhan just watched him, enjoying the small changes in the boy's expression with each new photo he saw. After so long Xiao Zhan could read every little reaction YiBo had, or at least that was what he liked to believe, and it was fun to watch him. His happy expression was definitely in his top five 'YiBo's best expressions.'
"Having fun?" Xiao Zhan asked when YiBo laughed as he saw a picture of Xiao Zhan as a child at a Halloween party at school.
"This is fun," YiBo admitted and then shook his head to try to brush away his hair when his bangs fell in front of his eyes. Xiao Zhan's fingers were itching to touch his hair and help. He kept his hands to himself. “I like to see sides of Zhan-ge that few people have seen before. I saw a picture of you as a child on the internet, but these photos here were never shown to fans, so I feel privileged.”
Xiao Zhan felt his heart beat faster because of YiBo's words, knowing that Wang YiBo was looking at his photos really made him feel happier than he should and he would feel embarrassed to have the boy see his old photos if he hadn't done the same. Fancams , photoshoots , old photos, and the selfies YiBo sent exclusively to him, Xiao Zhan looked at them all when he had time.
'The fact that I spend part of my free time looking at things about YiBo as a fan would do... really should be worrying, right?'
“Gege!”
“Huh?" Xiao Zhan blinked and then quickly leaned away when he realized that YiBo's face was too close for comfort and he was staring at him intently. "Did you say something?"
"Weren't you paying attention when I was talking to you?" YiBo asked and narrowed his eyes at him, Xiao Zhan would believe he was annoyed if the corner of his lips was not twitching while he tried to hold back a smile.
'His lips are so beautiful, they are probably soft and ... Stop it, Xiao Zhan!'
"How unfair, Zhan-ge!"
"Sorry, sorry," Xiao Zhan said in a soft voice as if talking to a child or pet while patting YiBo's head, which made the boy snort and slap his arm. "You're so violent!" Xiao Zhan complained and pulled his hand away, crossing his arms and leaning sideways on the couch again. "Repeat what you said, Gege is paying attention now."
"I said Zhan-ge was so beautiful when he was younger, so he was definitely popular in school."
"Hmm, I wonder about that...”
YiBo gave him an unimpressed look and closed the album, placing it on the coffee table near the couch before sitting back down and seeming to try to find a comfortable position to sit and look at Xiao Zhan.
"I'm sure the girls were crazy about you," YiBo said when he finally found a position he judged comfortable enough, sitting turned to Xiao Zhan with his knees pulled to his chest. “Zhan-ge is kind, considerate and handsome. Who wouldn't be crazy about you? Come on, tell me about your relationships from your school days, I won't tell your fans!"
Xiao Zhan hummed and pretended to think about it before looking into YiBo's eyes and asking, "Do you really want to know about my old relationships?"
YiBo looked back at him and they didn’t say a single word for a long moment and Xiao Zhan began to feel uncomfortable. Before, they couldn't look each other for five seconds without laughing, but now, more often than not, they held each other gaze in silence with their eyes saying things that were not put into words.
YiBo looked away and wrinkled his nose. "No," he said sounding a bit grumpy and then grabbed a cushion, hugging it as he laid on the couch and put his legs on Xiao Zhan's lap.
Xiao Zhan stared at him with playful annoyance. “You're so brazen, occupying almost my whole couch! This is my house, why are you getting all comfortable?”
YiBo raised an eyebrow at him, "Earlier it was you who said for me to make myself at home," he points out and smirks when Xiao Zhan makes a face and grunts under his breath. "And your couch is comfortable," he adds with a shit eating grin.
“But my lap is not a place to rest your legs,” he remarks while poking YiBo’s shin. "What are you waiting for? A foot massage?”
"Yes, please," YiBo said while closing his eyes and Xiao Zhan gapes at him in disbelief.
“This brat!” He hisses and then pinches his leg, YiBo reciprocates the action with a weak kick and after that they fall into their normal routine of playful slaps, kicks and pinches.
When they stopped, they were gasping for air after laughing too much. After calming down they fell into a comfortable silence, YiBo lying on the couch with his legs on Xiao Zhan's lap while looking at something on his phone. Meanwhile Xiao Zhan was watching a variety show on TV and massaging YiBo's feet, he didn't realize he was doing it until YiBo laughed because it tickled. For a moment, Xiao Zhan was startled that he absently started massaging YiBo’s feet, but in the end decided that touching him for a bit in such an innocent way was not a problem.
Except it was definitely a problem, because from time to time he could feel YiBo's intense gaze on the side of his face as he kept his eyes fixed on the TV, watching something he wasn't really interested in. From time to time he allowed himself to steal glances at the boy lying on his couch, at those times YiBo was distracted by what he was seeing on his phone and didn't notice Xiao Zhan staring at him with his lips curving in a helpless smile. When he noticed and looked at him, Xiao Zhan allowed their eyes to meet for a moment because it would be suspicious to look away quickly, at those moments YiBo would show a smile too affectionate to be good for Xiao Zhan's sanity.
Really, it seemed too normal, kind of domestic and simple and good in a way that made Xiao Zhan feel giddy. Xiao Zhan cooked and they had dinner together, then they looked at pictures of when he was younger, sharing the couch while doing their own thing while maintaining points of contact between them and stealing glances from time to time. All of it, all of it looked so good and so right, so good it hurts.
"Oh right!" Xiao Zhan exclaimed and turned to look at YiBo who was looking at him with raised eyebrows. “I showed you my old pictures and you still haven't fulfilled your part of the deal!”
"What part? What deal?” YiBo had the audacity to pretend to be confused and Xiao Zhan glared at him. "... I thought you had forgotten," he mumbled.
"Ha! Never,” Xiao Zhan reaches out to him and gives him a pointed look, “Where are your childhood photos? And it can't be a photoshoot from last week! I know you are a kid, but it has to be older photos.”
"I'm not a kid!" YiBo protested and threw the cushion he was holding before straight into Xiao Zhan's face, but he managed to grab it before hitting his face and threw it back at the boy while laughing. "I shouldn't even show you this after you act like that, but here," he handed his phone to Xiao Zhan.
He smiled after taking the phone from the boy's hand and YiBo stared at him waiting for his reaction. “Wang YiBo! I showed you an entire album, why are there only four pictures here?!”
“I don't have many pictures of when I was a child. My mom has the photos and there was no way I could ask her; my mom would definitely ask me a lot of questions as to why I wanted the photos.”
"Excuses," Xiao Zhan muttered and then clicked on the first picture, it was a picture from a few years ago, "Oooh, It’s Wang-laoshi blond hair era!" He said with a quiet laugh. "Blond hair really makes you look different," he looked at YiBo lying on his couch and then at the picture. “Beautiful,” he breathes, his gaze probably too tender while looking at the photo. “Didi is so beautiful, no matter what color his hair is, with and without makeup, he’s so stunning,” Xian Zhan continued to compliment with a barely contained laugh and from the corner of his eye could see the smug smile on the boy he adored so much.
'He's so vain and so fond of having his ego fed,' he thought with amusement, 'But even that about him is endearing.'
Xiao Zhan looked at the second photo and it seemed to be just a little older than the first, he looked at the picture for a moment and praised YiBo again before looking at the third photo where YiBo seemed to be seven or eight years old. Xiao Zhan felt his heart melt and, just as YiBo had done seeing his pictures, he repeated over and over how lovely he was and YiBo shifted restlessly on the couch looking uncomfortable, embarrassed.
The fourth picture made Xiao Zhan coo out loud the way he would do when he saw a cute puppy or kitten. The picture was YiBo as a baby and he was really adorable, his chubby cheeks, his eyes, little nose and curious expression as he looked at something they were showing him was too adorable.
"Bo-di is really so adorable," he said and put his hand on his chest, clutching his shirt like his heart was hurting, and it was, his heart was overflowing with affection for Wang YiBo and it hurts. "But ..." He turned to look at YiBo who was watching his every move. "... You haven't changed that much."
He blinks a few times and then, "Huh?!"
"Now that I'm seeing this," Xiao Zhan tried to look thoughtful, and not that he was almost bursting out laughing, as he tried to look at YiBo's phone screen and his face while comparing the photo and the real thing. “Bo-di is still a baby! He hasn't changed at all.”
"You ...!" YiBo sat up quickly and tried to grab the phone, but Xiao Zhan pulled the phone away and then got up from the couch. “Zhan-ge!”
"I'll send me these pictures!" Xiao Zhan stated and Wang YiBo widened his eyes and got up from the couch as well. "I'm sure the fans will love it if I post our baby YiBo."
"Give me back my phone!" YiBo stepped forward and tried to grab the phone, but Xiao Zhan dodged his hands and started running away from YiBo. "Ge, you can't have my baby picture!"
"Why? It's on your phone, it's not like you're losing it if you give it to me.”
YiBo grunted in frustration and tried to grab the phone again, but Xiao Zhan ran around the couch asking why he couldn't keep the picture. YiBo stared at him like he was an idiot for asking it. "You just can't!"
"That's not a reason!"
"You'll keep looking at this picture and saying that I still look like a baby!" YiBo complained and tried to grab the phone once again, but Xiao Zhan raised his arm as high as he could and their small height difference gave him a little advantage. “This is not funny! Zhan-ge, I don't want you to think I'm a baby!”
"But Bo-di is such a precious and beautiful kid, even if I don't keep the pictures, I'll always think of you as a kid," Xiao Zhan said laughing, he was just teasing YiBo like he did in the past, just like every other time he'd called him a kid, this time he was saying it affectionately too, but his laughter and amusement faded when he saw YiBo's expression darken and annoyance and hurt crossed his eyes. "YiBo?"
"Xiao Zhan!" YiBo said, firm and serious, and then grabbed Xiao Zhan's wrist and he almost dropped the phone as the boy threw his body against his and knocked him backward.
Xiao Zhan half gasped and half grunted when he fell sitting on the couch and his back slammed into the backrest, before he could make sense of what was happening, Wang YiBo had already slid into his lap, straddling his thighs and caging him with his hands pressed to the couch on either side of Xiao Zhan's neck.
"I'm not a kid!" YiBo said through gritted teeth as he looked at Xiao Zhan with an intensity that made his breath catch. "Why do you keep calling me a kid?!"
"YiBo, I was just teasing you," Xiao Zhan said, his voice weak and uncertain. “Hey, why are you angry? I always call you a kid and you say I'm an old man, we are always just kidding and teasing. Why are you suddenly angry?”
"It's not suddenly and you know it!"
"YiBo..."
YiBo made a sound of frustration and then pressed his face into the crook of Xiao Zhan's neck and he didn't know what to do, his mind working too fast and too slow at the same time. YiBo's body was tense and he was pressing his fingers on the couch while breathing heavily.
"YiBo," he repeated in a small voice and slowly put YiBo's phone on the couch and touched his back, YiBo flinched a bit and Xiao Zhan quickly pulled his hand away. “Bo-di, I didn't mean to offend you. I'm sorry,” he said trying not to sound as panicked as he felt.
It wasn't the first time YiBo had been angry with him for some reason, he had been angry with YiBo in the past too, it was normal, but YiBo had never reacted that way.
"Bo-di," he whispered and then fell silent keeping his hands beside his body on the couch, he wanted to hug Yibo and apologize, but he decided to give him time.
Xiao Zhan tried not to panic at YiBo's reaction, but his heart was beating too fast, it was hard to breathe. In addition to the fear and confusion of annoying YiBo so much because of a silly joke, he was trying not to think too much about the fact that YiBo was pressed so close to him, breathing against his neck while sitting on his lap. The weight and warmth of YiBo's body against his was making Xiao Zhan feel dizzy, he had to try to control his breathing and lick his dry lips to moisten them.
"Just give me a moment, I need to calm down," YiBo whispered against his neck and Xiao Zhan tried to pretend his heart didn't skip a few beats.
"Okay," he whispered back.
They stayed in that position in what could be a few minutes or hours, but when YiBo finally seemed to calm down, he said, "Zhan-ge, I'm not a child."
“I know, YiBo. I was just kidding, I didn't mean to offend you,” he said earnestly, he really was just being silly as he always was when he was with YiBo , being with this boy made him feel like just a boy again, it was good to be silly together.
"What do I have to do for Zhan-ge to take back what he said?"
Xiao Zhan felt his heart sink to his stomach. "What?"
"I'll always think of you as a kid," YiBo repeated his words. "What should I do for you to take those words back?"
“YiBo , you know I wasn't serious. I… HEY!” Xiao Zhan almost shouted as YiBo suddenly started giving passionate open-mouthed kisses on his neck. "Wang YiBo!" Xiao Zhan grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him away when the boy was almost sucking a mark on his skin. "YiBo, what has gotten into you?!"
“I don't want to be a kid to you! I'm a man, Zhan-ge, that's how I want you to see me!”
“I know! YiBo, I know that-”
"Yes, you know," YiBo interrupted and Xiao Zhan sensed he wasn't talking about Xiao Zhan knowing he wasn't a kid. “You know, there's no way you don't know how I feel. There is no way you haven’t noticed the way I look at you and seek your attention! You are not stupid, of course you know. You know I look at you when you're not looking and you know I know you look at me when you think I'm not looking!”
Forget about his heart sinking to his stomach, Xiao Zhan felt that his heart had stopped or left his body. It was hard to breathe and he swallowed hard, he wanted to look away, but couldn't do it, he could only look into Wang YiBo's dark eyes and feel that the world was about to end.
'Of course he knows,' Xiao Zhan thought wistfully, 'Of course we both know what feelings we don’t dare to put into words so as not to cross the line.'
Xiao Zhan knew that one day one of them would end up confronting the other about whether or not they knew what the other felt, but he never expected it to be so sudden, so unexpected after a silly joke. Xiao Zhan wished he'd never opened his mouth; he should have just watched TV and pretend not to remember that he had made a deal with YiBo to show his pictures of when they were younger to each other.
"Zhan-ge, you know?" YiBo asked, he seemed uncertain after his previous words had been met only with Xiao Zhan's silence. “You know, don't you? You know Didi...” Didi loves you.
YiBo didn't finish, but Xiao Zhan heard in his mind what the boy had said when they were still filming together. At that time he thought it was a joke, another way that Wang YiBo had found to rile him up and for a long time the 'what ifs' drove him crazy, it seemed possible that YiBo's words were sincere at the time, but it should not be.
“I know,” his mouth moved and the words left before he could think about it. "I know, Bo-di."
YiBo looks at his face as if searching for something, he swallows and look into Xiao Zhan's eyes with wide eyes. YiBo, who always seems confident and live his life by his own rules, looked vulnerable and Xiao Zhan hated himself for making that precious boy look like he might break if Xiao Zhan said the wrong words.
"So, it's not that you didn't try something because you thought I wouldn't reciprocate," YiBo said after a long moment, his voice low as if talking to himself, reaching a conclusion that didn't seem all that surprising to him. “Zhan-ge, do you really only see me as a kid? Your younger friend who you can be comfortable with?”
‘I can end things here and now, if I say that I only see him as my adorable younger friend then...’
Xiao Zhan laughs, the sound making him wince and cover his eyes with his forearm as he rests his head on the couch. “How could I?” He asks after the hollow laugh, his voice no louder than a whisper. “You said it yourself, YiBo. You saw the way I look at you when I think you're not looking.”
"Then why..."
"Because there's no way this is going to work," Xiao Zhan says and doesn't dare pull his arm away to look at YiBo's expression. “We barely have time for ourselves, how would we have time for anything else? What would we do if someone finds out or spread more rumors? We both know how bad that could go.”
"But aren't we making it work now?" YiBo asked, sounding confused and a little frustrated. “We send messages, photos, meet on our free days and spend time at each other homes. We are making it work! Always on the edge of something, a relationship we don't give a name.”
“Exactly because we're on the edge and not falling,” Xiao Zhan says, his voice sounding more bitter and sad than he would like. "YiBo, please, don’t make things difficult for me."
"Zhan-ge, you’re the one making this more difficult than it needs to be," YiBo holds his wrist and pulls gently, Xiao Zhan let him pull his arm away from his face and looks him, Yibo’s expression now is softer than before and Xiao Zhan felt like a whole bunch of butterflies were starting a rebellion in his stomach. "We have already fallen."
Xiao Zhan didn't know what to do besides look at YiBo, his sincere and determined eyes making him waver in his determination in keeping things as they are, keeping himself behind the line. YiBo is always like that, determined to get what he wants with effort and sincerity, true to himself, living his own way, making no excuses or running away.
They had been building this something between them for a long time, it was only a matter of time until they had to talk about it and it seemed almost obvious that it would be YiBo who would confront him about it sooner or later. YiBo went as far as he could go and waited for Xiao Zhan to say the word.
The fragile balance they kept between their friendship and that something they didn't name was breaking, it was too hard not to want more when they were so close, just waiting for the moment when the other would take the first step and cross the line.
“There are no fans here, no cameras, nothing. We don't have to keep our distance or be careful with our words,” YiBo said and then cupped Xiao Zhan's face between his hands, the touch was so tender, but it seemed to burn Xiao Zhan's skin. “It's just the two of us and those feelings between us. Now we can admit it and name this something between us or forget about it.”
"If we could forget about it, we wouldn't be here now."
YiBo brought his face close to Xiao Zhan's, touching the tip of their noses together. "Oh, look at that, Zhan-ge only has one option then," he said, and smirked like the little demon he is.
"I have the option of kicking you out of here," Xian Zhan said, but he was grinning as he put his hands on YiBo's waist. "What do you think of this option, huh?"
YiBo made a sound of complaint and kissed the corner of Xiao Zhan's lips, which made his breath hitch. "YiBo, really," he paused and tried to find the right words, "That ... if that doesn't work out, if after that we realize that all this is a misunderstanding ..."
“How could it be a misunderstanding?” YiBo asks, sounding really annoyed. “There's nothing to misunderstand here. Zhan-ge, stop making excuses!”
"I don’t-"
"Xiao Zhan," he interrupted. "What are you afraid of? We have reached this point, I will not run away or let you run away now. So just be honest, if you don't want to, just say no.”
Xiao Zhan sighed quietly and put his left hand behind YiBo's head, pulling him to press their foreheads together before closing his eyes. "I can't say no."
"Huh?"
"I can't say no to you, Wang YiBo," he admitted and then laughed breathlessly. "Though you have the face of an angel, you're actually a demon sent to mess up my mind," he opened his eyes, "I'm sure of it."
"Zhan-ge ..." he says in a whisper and pulls away so they could look at each other properly, his eyes were hopeful and Xiao Zhan almost threw his logical reasoning out of the window together with anything else stopping him from simply kissing Yibo.
“YiBo, if something goes wrong, it can really mess up our lives. Friendship is easy, simple. This, this we tried to ignore...”
"You tried to ignore it," YiBo corrects him and Xiao Zhan wrinkles his nose.
“This can go very wrong. It's a terrible idea, YiBo.”
"But it was only a matter of time until we get to the point where it would be impossible to continue pretending that we didn’t want this for a long time," YiBo says while caressing Xiao Zhan’s cheeks with his thumbs. "I know what I want Zhan-ge and I was just waiting for the chance to get it."
“And what did you want? Was it in your plans tonight to throw me on the couch and straddle my lap?” Xian Zhan asked with a laugh and YiBo's lips curved into a shit eating grin that made Xiao Zhan wish he had kept his mouth shut.
“Why do you think I insisted that you let me come visit you? You can bet it wasn't to eat your amazing homemade cooking.”
Xiao Zhan felt his smile freeze and when his mind processed what YiBo was saying, his whole face seemed to be on fire and YiBo began to laugh like a gremlin.
"Wang YiBo, what were you planning on doing to me when you asked to come visit me on our day off?" Xiao Zhan asked, his voice louder than necessary, eyes wide as he let go of YiBo and cross his arms in front of his chest as if protecting himself.
“What do you think I was planning, Zhan-ge?” YiBo spoke slowly while stroking Xiao Zhan's lower lip with his thumb.
"YiBo," he breathes.
YiBo's body on top of him seems to burn, it feels like it burns everywhere his body is touching him while their eyes are focused on each other's lips.
'Really, his lips were so beautiful.'
There was a tension that seemed to spark between them again, this was not the first time he can feel this tension between them, but now that almost everything has been said and intentions have been made clear, it seems even harder not to accept his urge to simply kiss YiBo and find out if his lips really were as soft as they seemed to be.
"You really mess with my head, Wang-laoshi ," Xiao Zhan whispers and puts an arm around his waist and one hand at the nape of his neck, he was admitting his defeat. "You’re young and can have the world at your feet, this ... is a risk. If we cross the line, there is no turning back and it can mess up our life.”
"Then mess up my life as much as you want," YiBo said with a shrug, but his gaze was still determined. "And..." He curved his lips into a smile before slowly licking his lips and rolling his hips against Xiao Zhan, who gasped as his eyes followed the movement of that tongue. "... You can make a mess of me too."