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The 118 had responded to calls at an interesting variety of places, but this was one for the record books. The staff pushed their way through attendants at this years Con and Ball Torture, looking for their patient.
“Over here!” A young woman in a leather corset flagged them down. “One of our gimp suit models just passed out. I don’t understand, he gave it a trial run three days ago and he was fine.”
The team kneeled around the unconscious man. Chimney looked up at her. “We’ll need to cut him out of this. “
“Fine. Just make sure Steve’s alright.” The woman assented.
They began cutting Steve free, noting the hives. “Does he have any allergies?” Hen queried.
“Latex. That’s why he’s in this suit.” She replied.
Buck looked up sharply. “Did you get a new brand of powder?”
The woman’s eyes widened. “Yes! A new company gave us samples. They’re more eco-friendly, God, I’m an idiot. He’s allergic to eucalyptus, too. This is all my fault.”
Working quickly, Chimney administered a large dose of epinephrine. “He’s breathing. We’ll need to transport him to the hospital, but he should be fine.”
The team got Steve secured to the gurney, and had almost made it when a voice called out. “Evan? Is that you?”
Buck froze for a second, than groaned. “Shit.” He turned to face the caller, an attractive man with a leer and a sneer on his face. “Don’t fucking bother, Jamie.”
“Come on, baby. Don’t fucking bother with what? Reminding you of what you gave up?” Jamie stopped in front of Buck, posing sublty to flaunt his abs, his arms and his cock. He reached out and tried to stroke down Buck’s chest, only for Buck to rip it off him.
“Look, I didn’t fall apart when you dumped me. I’m a firefighter, I talk to my sister, and I loved again, only she didn’t cheat on me and treat me like shit. So don’t fucking bother trying to make me miss your toxic ass.” Buck snarled. “If you don’t mind, I’ve got a job to do.”
He turned back to the squad, who picked up on his silent request to leave immediately. They dropped off their patient and returned to the firehouse in complete silence. It lasted until the end of shift, when everyone was changing and Buck and Eddie found themselves alone in the locker room. Eddie reached out and grabbed Buck’s shoulder. “So, Jamie seemed horrible. Was he always such a charmer?”
Buck gave a rueful laugh. “Pretty much. Actually, he was nice today. Probably didn’t want to scare off his fans.”
Eddie stared. “Then why did you date him?”
He slung his bag over his shoulder, distinctly not meeting Eddie’s eyes. “Look, brother, you heard about Buck 1.0. Jamie knew me when I was Buck 0.5. I wasn’t in a good place, and Jamie fit with how I saw myself. But I got away from him, I built a better life for myself. I just wish you didn’t know I used to fuck guys like that.”
Eddie gave him a smile. “It’s cool. We all do dumb things. You just had the bad luck of running into yours.” Eddie paused. “Matter of fact, let’s do some more. Shannon has Chris. Let’s get drunk and watch Twiligh t.”
Buck grinned. “Does the booze make it better or worse?”
With swift movement, Eddie pulled him into his side, relishing the contact. “Both.”
---
The next day, Eddie felt like he had been shoved through the dishwasher. Twice. He remembered deciding to take a shot every time Bella did something dumb, but after that, it’s all fuzzy.
He was trying to piece together at what point Buck started stripping when a horrified sheik pierced his brain. “No. Nononono. That fucking bastard!” Buck screamed.
Eddie sat up to see Buck in nothing but briefs, staring at his phone with a look of utter terror. “That cocksucking biphobic piece of shit! And he tagged me and the LAFD and it’s trending. Fuck!”
“Christ, brother, what’d your asshole ex do?” Eddie asked over the roaring in his head. “Also, can you panic at a lower volume?”
Buck glanced at him.“No problem. But, uh, can you kill me first?”
Eddie let the words sink in. “Why do you want me to kill you?”
“Because the earth isn’t swallowing me whole, and I don’t think I can look anyone at work in the eye now.” Buck threw his phone onto the table.
Silently, Eddie walked over to the coffee pot. He was delighted to see Buck had already brewed a pot. He poured a cup and reached for his own phone, charging on the counter. It was awash with notifications and texts. “Come on, it can’t be that bad.”
Buck held a pillow to his face. “Remember how I said I knew Jamie at a bad point in my life? Well, he has pics and video and he plastered them all over Twitter. They’ve gone viral.”
Eddie chuckled. “I’m sure you’re overreacti— oh my god.” Eddie has unlocked his phone and been greeted with a picture of Buck. It was an older photo, given the dark hair and leaner build, but it was definitely him. He was decked out in black leather, with an eyebrow ring and a plethora of earrings.
More noticeable, though, was the fratbro sucking him off. Donny, his hindbrain helpfully supplied. Scrolling through his feed, Eddie saw endless photos, clips, and gifs of younger, punkier Buck engaging in a veritable smorgasbord of sexual acts, a concerning amount of which Eddie could place from memory.
“So now you know my deep dark secret.” Buck said.
Eddie looked up, surprised to see Buck watching him watch Buck fuck some Asian twink into unconsciousness.
Buck stalked past him to refill his coffee mug. “I never thought I’d be haunted by my goth phase.”
—-
“Seriously, the goth phase?” Eddie asked for the 10th time as he and Buck entered the station.
“Yes, the goth phase!” Buck snapped. “What else do I have to be embarrassed about?” He huffed and headed toward the locker room, only to be stopped by Bobby and Athena.
“Buck, as I’m sure you’re aware, a number of explicit photos and images of you were posted online.” Bobby said.
“God! Yes, I know. I was 19, I was stupid, and I was sincerely hoping that no one would ever find out, but you have, so let the mocking begin.” Buck rolled his eyes and pushed past them. “And did you have to tell Athena?”
Athena grabbed his shoulder. “My boss told me. What your ex did is unacceptable, and the LAPD and LAFD are standing behind you. Say the word, and your ex will get the book thrown at him.”
Buck glanced at her in disbelief. “For what, enabling my bad fashion choices? I didn’t realize that was illegal.”
Eddie rolled his eyes and joined them. “Going out on a limb, I’m assuming Athena is referring to content of the photos and not the aesthetic.”
Athena nodded her head. “Mmhm. Given the professional nature of the material, I doubt we can charge him for nonconsenual pornography, but harassment is on the table. Possibly bump it up with a hate crime charge.”
Buck sighed and joined Chimney and Hen at the table. “I’m grateful, Athena, really, but I’m not pressing charges. Jamie posted embarrassing photos of me. Sure, I kind of want to crawl into a hole and die, but it’s also not a big deal, and it’s definitely not a hate crime.”
With a serious look in her eye, Hen spoke. “Buck, he revenged porned you with actual porn. For the rest of your career, you’re going to be “the porn star firefighter”. It will probably cost you job advancement, it will definitely cost you respect.”
“He wanted to bother you and make the world think less of you, which is harassment.” Chimney broke in. “And judging by the delightful captions like ‘remember when you were a real man?’ and ‘bisexual, huh?’, he did because of your sexual orientation, which is a hate crime.”
Buck was quiet for a moment. When he finally spoke again, it was with absolute exasperation. “Do any of you actually think that the porn is what bothers me? Because I don’t care about that. I care that people know I did porn while looking like a Criss Angel wannabe.”
The entire 118 gaped with disbelieving silence, until Hen started laughing. “Oh, thank god. I was so afraid this was some traumatic time in your life. Seriously, what was with the ponytail in that video with the pretty boy blonde?”
“Or the ear gauges from the frat house orgy?” Chimney choked out. “You could drive the engine through those things.”
Bobby and Athena exchanged furtive glances, clearly relieved Buck wasn’t emotionally scarred, but unsure of his cavalier treatment of the whole thing. Still, Bobby shrugged and joined in the ribbing. “Personally, I can’t help but feel concerned about the chafing damage from all that leather.”
Buck dropped his head and began banging it into the table. “I lied. I have crippling damage from my time in the adult film industry and the sartorial choices I made. Please stop talking about it. And my skin is fine, I was slathered in so much baby oil, it’s a miracle my pants never slid off my body.”
A snort escapes from Chimney. “Wait. Is this why you burned the yearbook Maddie had? And some of her photos?”
“Man, I burned every last photo of where I looked like a try-hard member of Panic! At the Disco.” Buck groaned. “I just wanted to blank it all out of my head.”
“So you wouldn’t appreciate some tasteful nipple rings for Christmas? May found a darling pair of skulls.” Athena snarked.
Eddie watched bemusedly at the scene unfolding before him. “No, you’re all wrong. The peak of Buck’s bad porn looks is the porn version of Interview With A Vampire , with the lace cravat and the crucifix clamps.” He chuckled and sighed.
Everyone else looked at him in confusion. “I don’t remember seeing that one.” Hen said.
“Neither do I.” agreed Chim. “Must have missed it.” The table broke up as everyone returned to their duties, except for Buck.
“Hey, brother, can I talk to you?” Eddie finds himself in a grip like steel, before Buck throws him into the supply closed. “How did you know about Intercourse With A Vampire?” .
Eddie desperately tried to play things cool. “That’s what it was called? I saw a clip in the cavalcade of highlights your ex thoughtfully posted.”
“No, you didn’t.” Buck said with a livid calmness. “Jamie never knew about that one. I made that movie for a different studio. It was a collectors edition, 25 hard copies, no more, and they were copy-proof. How did you know?”
Eddie said nothing, fervently praying for sinkhole to open up and kill him. No luck. “I, uh, I own it. Actually, I own most of your work. I recognized you my first day.”
“You own . . . what?” Buck looked like a slapped fish.
Having already opened the can of worms, Eddie figured he might as well make a damn casserole out of them. “You were my favorite porn star. Are. Were-are. I’ve seen everything you’ve ever shot. I still get off to it, because you in body jewelry with your fucking enthusiastic fuck-me smile is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. And then I met you and you’re this sweet, warm-hearted guy who I want blow so bad, only I can’t, because of the porn-22.”
Buck had slowly shifted from confusion to embarrassment to amusement. “The porn-22?”
Eddie banged his head into the wall. “The catch-22 of recognizing someone from porn. If I told you I saw you in porn, I’m now too creepy to actually sleep with. If I don’t, I can’t even explain how I know you’re into guys, let alone being into DP’d by my dick and a dildo while I hang weights from the nipple rings you apparently don’t have!”
Buck said nothing for a minute, before letting out a small “You like me?”
“I love you, you fucking idiot.” Eddie seethed at the ceiling. “And now I’ve fucked it all to hell and -- whoa!”
He looked to see Buck on his knees, a shit-eating grin on his face and his hands pulling at Eddie’s belt. “You know, you could have just asked me to go for coffee.”
Eddie wanted to argue, but found his vocabulary suddenly reduced to pleading, profanity, and Bucks name.
---
When they stumbled out of the closed, pants readjusted and hair screaming “blowjobs”, they were met with a very disapproving Bobby.
“Buck, I do not care if you used to make porn. I care very much if you re-enact it on the job. We already went through this with the snake girl.”
Buck had the decency to look sheepish. “Sorry, Cap. It won’t happen again. Besides, I never made any firefighter porn. Although, I do have a camera.” He glanced at Eddie, a leer in his eyes.
“No way. Believe it or not, I’ve never made a sex tape, and I don’t plan to start now.” Eddie said firmly.
“Babe, come on. I’ll make you look good. I used to do this for a living.” Buck practically coos at Eddie as they walk away.
Eddie sighed. “Well, your place does have that great natural light.”
Bobby watched in horror as his two best firefighters planned their homemade porno. “Oh, god, I’m giving them ideas.”