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Anne didn’t know why she’s even here. Oh right, she got first in the Queens’ results and this party was to celebrate that. Except that she tied...with Gilbert. It should be a moment of joy, but all she could think about was how that was the only way she’d ever be tied with him, watching the beautiful Miss Winifred hanging on his arm as they walked about the room. Winifred would be the one who was tied with him forever, and there was nothing Anne could do. It had been the worst mistake of her life ever letting him think he didn’t love her. But it was too late. He had proposed and would soon be starting a life in Paris with Winifred.
She’d done all she could to avoid Gilbert after he hadn’t read her letter. Either he threw it away without reading it, or he read it and still chose to go after Winifred. Which was worse, Anne couldn’t tell.
Anne had remained on the outside of the dance, there wasn’t anyone she wanted to dance with - that would want to dance with her too, that is. Charlie Sloane had made a comment but Anne ignored him, no way would she dance with him after what he had said about her “thinking too much.”
Gilbert and Winifred had danced a little, but Anne had to look away. She couldn’t watch the boy she loved dance with someone else. The conductor introduced another song, and Anne saw Winifred’s arm finally leave Gilbert’s to walk arm in arm with her father on the dance floor. Her gaze immediately shifted away when she caught eyes with Gilbert across the floor.
“Don’t come over here, don’t come over here,” Anne was screaming in her mind, and turned away from him.
“May I have this dance?” he was smiling at her softly, holding out his hand. If he wasn’t engaged to someone else it would have been a very romantic picture.
“Uh…” she looked around, trying to signal to Diana with her eyes. But the girl was refusing to look at Anne, clearly determined for them to dance.
“It’s just one dance, Anne.” he laughed, but with his tone he may as well have said “it’s not like I asked you to marry me.”
“Ok.”
Her hand tingled when it touched his, remembering the first time they’d ever danced. That was when she realised she’d had a crush on him. And now here she was dancing with the boy she loved, who did not love her back.
“Gilbert, I should apologise.” she whispered as the dance started, and he tilted his head in confusion. Why did he have to look so adorable when she was trying to let him go once and for all? “You’re clearly very happy with Winifred, and I’m happy for you too. I never should have written that letter.”
“What letter? You never sent me a letter.”
Anne’s blood went cold. He never read it? The letter where she poured out her heart and confessed that she loved him. He never read it.
“You...never read it.” It wasn’t a question.
He shook his head, raising an eyebrow. “Was it important?”
Anne looked over at Winifred, she couldn’t do this to such a lovely girl. So swallowing her pride, she sighed. “It doesn’t matter.”
“What was it?”
“Nothing.”
“Please?” he said softly and it was impossible to resist that look.
But she tried, shaking her head. “It would ruin everything.”
“Between me and Winifred? How?”
Anne didn’t meet his eyes and finally he realised. It suddenly clicked in his brain. All the times Anne brought up WInifred around him, how she would snap at him bitterly about Charlottetown...Did Anne…? But she’d refused him…
“Oh…” his shoulders dropped.
“Gilbert…” Anne looked up him finally, taking a deep breath.
“You…? But you didn’t...when I asked...and the board…? And Ruby? You never...when I did you said it couldn’t…” he dropped her hands, trying to process what Anne was trying to say. “You love me?”
“I tried to tell you but you were with Winifred and…” Anne felt tears sting her eyes. She wasn’t going to cry here, not now.
His eyes were wide, and confused. She couldn’t read his face. “But Winifred...I proposed Anne.” he whispered, running a hand through his hair.
“I know. That’s why I shouldn’t have said anything, you love her and I’m happy for you. I am. I’m sorry, I have to go.”
She ran from the dance floor, leaving Gilbert alone and bewildered.
“Anne!” Gilbert chased after her once he’d regained the ability to walk after being in shock. Anne had run outside to the gardens, the sounds of the ball muffled in the background. The lights from the windows cast a golden glow across her, and he was transported back to that night after the Queens’ exams.
“Gilbert don’t.” she stopped, holding up a hand to keep him back. “Winifred will be looking for you.”
“Did you mean what you said?” he stepped forward slowly, ignoring Anne’s protest. “That you love me?”
She shrugged, “It doesn’t matter. Because you’re with Winifred. And she’s a lovely girl.”
He sighed loudly, rubbing his eyes. “You…you can’t do this Anne!”
She was taken aback at his harsh tone. He hadn’t raised his voice like that before. “Do what?”
“I thought you didn’t love me back, so I tried to move on. But every time you kept holding me back. And when I finally try and confess it to you, you tell me to marry someone else? I don’t understand it!”
“Love you...back?”
“What am I supposed to do?”
“I don’t know.”
He began pacing back and forth. “I made a commitment to Winifred. But then you confess you love me...and Anne that’s all I’ve wanted for years...but…”
“But…?” her heart was alive hearing that he loved her back.
“I can’t just get rid of Winnie. That isn’t fair to her.”
Anne sighed, “Everything was so much easier when love wasn’t involved. I wish I didn’t feel these things, I just complicated everything.”
Gilbert turned to face her, his eyes slightly wet, and she had to swallow the lump in her throat. “I...I don’t know what to do.”
“I do.” Anne said, standing up straight as she wiped away a tear. “You’re going to go back in there and dance with your fiancée and pretend any of this happened.”
“Anne, I can’t…”
“Goodbye Gilbert.” She turned away from him once and for all, making to leave. She was determined that this would be the last time she ever thought of him. It was best for everyone if she just moved on, no matter how much her heart was breaking right now.
It was the middle of the day, but Anne was lying on her bed staring up at the ceiling. She'd really just thrown away her chance of love last night. But she wanted him to be happy, she wanted him to get his dream. She would only hold him back, at least that's what she kept telling herself. Perhaps that was what love meant, putting someone else's needs above your own even if it felt like her heart was being ripped out of her chest.
There came a light knock at her door and she lifted her head to see Marilla smiling. "Anne, you have a visitor. One, Gilbert Blythe."
Anne shook her head and lay back down, turning away. "Tell him I'm sick."
"But I thought you loved him?"
"He is engaged. Seeing him only makes it harder."
Marilla hesitated, before Anne heard her footsteps slowly descend down the stairs.
A few minutes later, there came a tapping at Anne's window. Against all better judgement she crossed over the room, looking down to see Gilbert. She shook her head at him but he threw another pebble at the window. Reluctantly she opened it, but refused to speak to him.
"Anne, I need to talk to you."
She didn't answer, but he wasn't going to give up. "I'm not leaving until you talk to me."
"What do you want? You're breaking my heart Gilbert. You can't just propose to someone and then confess love to another girl, it doesn't work like that."
"I called it off with Winifred."
"You...you what?" She leaned out the window, her heart shaped necklace dangling from her chest. "But I thought...and Sorbonne?"
"Winifred was surprisingly understanding. Her father...not so much. I won't be going to Paris any time soon." He awkwardly shuffled on his feet. "Look, I'm not proud of the way I treated you or Winifred. It wasn't fair of me. I've done some bad things in my life, but the worst thing I've ever done was hurting you."
"You can't just change your mind like this. I love you Gilbert, but how do I know you love me? How do I know you won't just change your mind when a better offer is available. Like with Winifred."
"Anne," he looked around, trying to find something he could climb up on to get closer to her but there was nothing. "I've loved you since the day you cracked that slate over my head. I'm sorry it has taken me so long to tell you. I'll never be able to make up for that mistake."
"You broke my heart." She said again, clutching at her necklace. “I don’t want to be a second choice.”
"You were never a second choice! Anne, I thought you didn't love me, and it hurt me so much. I thought I'd lost you. I know it doesn’t excuse me, and I’ll never be able to make up for it. But now... we're so close. I can't lose you again because of my mistakes."
She looked down into his eyes, and there was no hiding what she saw. He meant every word, how Anne knew, she wasn’t sure. But she was mentally scolding herself, because Gilbert Blythe was confessing his love for her. Was she really going to reject him again? Of course not. No matter how much pain he’d put her through, it was nothing compared to the idea that she’d lose him forever.
She disappeared from the window, and Gilbert was sure he'd blown it. But then the door opened, and Anne ran out, throwing her arms around him before he could say anything. His arms closed around her automatically, burying his head against her hair.
“You’re insufferable, Gilbert Blythe.” she muttered, but he could hear the smile in her voice.
“I know,” he laughed, clutching her tightly against him. “I love you, too.”