Chapter Text
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, and mean no disrespect to the characters or actors who portray them.
"What do you mean there has been a slight complication?" Bones demanded furiously at Sulu over their communicators. Bones told Spock not to let Jim eat anything, but did anyone ever listen to his medical advice? No!
"Well, Dr. McCoy, um…Spock—"
"What the hell has that hobglobin done now?" Bones roared growing more irritable by the moment.
Sulu back on the alien planet the Enterprise was currently orbiting looked at his two superior officers uncertain. He had heard the verbal lashings Spock had received for letting Captain Kirk do something Bones forbade. Sulu didn't think he would be able to handle them as well as Spock had. Sulu also didn't have a death wish so he was stuck.
"Spock and the captain—"
"And Jim?" Bones snapped making Sulu wince and pull his communicator away from his ear. "What's wrong with the two infants?"
"They drank—"
"Dammit! What was the first thing I said?" Bones questioned practically ready to tear the blasted ship apart in frustration. Sulu sighed rubbing his eyes tiredly.
"Yeah, I know but they couldn't refuse. It was ceremonial, and the Keelites wouldn't join the Federation without this condition. And well…now the commander and captain are…kids," Sulu finally finished in a quick breath. He paused waiting for McCoy's outburst, but there was only an eerie silence on the other end.
"Mister Sulu?"
"Yes?" Sulu answered confused at hearing Nurse Chapel's sweet voice.
"Dr. McCoy passed out, but I suggest you get the captain and commander aboard so we can run some tests," Nurse Chapel explained concerned.
"Alright," Sulu confirmed.
He turned towards the two children wondering if this was going to be a reoccurring thing. The Enterprise had a reputation for running routine missions that somehow ended up with the most peculiar results. Sulu shook his head refocusing on the children. Spock informed that he was five years old while Kirk shyly held up three pudgy fingers when asked.
Spock didn't look much different than what he normally did. He had the same neat bowl cut and slim frame, but Sulu had a feeling he was small for his age. His eyes seemed bigger on his small face, but held the same intelligence and maturity. He was just so tiny. Kirk on the other hand had a mess of bright blonde hair, and the same too blue eyes that were wide and curious. He was a bit pudgy, but it was just baby fat. Both children were positively adorable, and the women on the ship were going to die when they saw the two.
"Enterprise, three to beam up," Sulu ordered while making sure the two stayed near him. It was a relief when he felt the familiar tug of the transporter. They'd be Uhura's problem when they got to the ship.
To say that Uhura was surprised at seeing her friend and former flame as kids would be an understatement. Her jaw dropped when her eyes landed on the chubby toddler gripping the robe of a young Vulcan boy. She slowly walked over to them noticing the way Spock protectively stood in front of Kirk. Uhura smiled seeing that some things really don't change.
"Hello, my name is Lt. Uhura, but you can call me Nyota," she greeted while holding her hand up in the ta'al.
"Peace and long life," Spock replied while holding up his ta'al. Uhura resisted the urge to coo at him, and instead turned to Kirk who was still hiding behind Spock.
"Hey there little guy," she said with a warm smile. Kirk peeked around Spock looking up at her with bright blue eyes.
"I'm not little! I'm three!" Kirk exclaimed proudly while holding up three fingers making her bite back a laugh. Yep, some things never change.
"Well then big guy how about you and Spock follow me to medbay," Uhura requested while motioning them to follow her.
"Jim, you must see a medical doctor," Spock said when Kirk refused to move from the transport pad.
"No! I don't want to be poked! Doctors are scary!" Kirk whined while crossing his arms stubbornly.
Uhura couldn't help but smile while shaking her head amused. She decided that she would let little Spock handle it. He was the only one who ever got Kirk to do something he didn't want to. Now shouldn't be different. Spock's lips pressed together forming a thin line. A sure sign he was rethinking his strategy. A face he often made when dealing with the unbelievably stubborn Kirk.
"Jim, I am going to see the doctor. Would you want me to see him alone?" Spock inquired making Kirk's eyes widen in horror.
"No! Never!" Kirk exclaimed while reaching out to grab Spock's hand. Upon contact Spock tensed while his cheeks turned a light green.
"Let's get going boys," Uhura chirped grabbing their attention once more. Kirk went quietly, but refused to release Spock's hand much to the older boy's embarrassment.
Walking through the halls was as Uhura expected it to be. The crew trying not to stare, but they couldn't help themselves. The women cooed over the young boys at every turn. Spock's face was expressionless, but the tips of his ears were a dark green. Kirk on the other hand ate up all the attention they were getting. With them getting stopped all the time it took forever for them to get to medbay. 35 minutes and 48 seconds Spock supplied when she mentioned this to Nurse Chapel.
"Boys, this is Nurse Chapel. She'll be taking care of you for now," Uhura introduced while wishing she didn't have to leave for her shift. Kid Spock and Kirk were too cute for words, and she didn't want to miss a thing.
"Hi," Kirk shyly greeted while gripping Spock's hand tighter.
"Live long and prosper," Spock said while holding up the ta'al with his free hand.
"Awe, they are so cute!" Nurse Chapel cooed unable to contain herself any longer. Spock lifted an eyebrow while Kirk giggled.
"Nurse Chapel, please control yourself," Spock retorted making her smile amused. Uhura bid them all farewell before taking her leave.
"That sounded just like the hobglobin," Bones grumbled while walking over. He stopped in his tracks when his eyes landed on the young duo. He wasn't sure whether he should laugh or cry.
"This is Dr. McCoy. He's going to be the one running the tests," Nurse Chapel explained while motioning to the gruff doctor.
"Jim, hop up here so I can take a look at you," Bones requested while patting the biobed invitingly.
"You will not touch my Jim," Spock declared while pushing the toddler behind him protectively. Nurse Chapel's eyes practically popped out of her head when she heard him. Bones on the other hand was far less amused.
"Spock, Dr. M'Benga is going to take care of you," Bones retorted while the doctor in question came forward. A low growl emitted from Spock's throat when the doctor moved to escort him away.
"It's okay Spock," Jim whispered while tugging gently on his friend's robe. Spock looked down at the young boy, and realized just how frayed his control had gotten.
"Pardon me," Spock apologized before following Dr. M'Benga. He couldn't help but look over his shoulder to make sure Jim was still okay.
"Let's check you out little guy," Bones said while lifting Jim onto the bed.
He pulled the white curtain so there was a bit of privacy. Bone chuckled rolling his eyes when he heard another low growl coming from the other side of the room. M'Benga was going to have his hands full with little Spock even more than he did with normal Spock.
Bones gave Jim a lollipop to keep him from moving around so much. It seemed to do the trick because Jim remained quiet while occasionally looking around curiously. Bones ran the tests repeatedly just to make sure the results were correct. He sighed running a hand through his hair. Only Jim and Spock would get into this mess. He hoped the science labs were having better luck analyzing whatever Kirk and Spock drank down there.
He pulled back the curtain, and nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Spock standing there. Spock simply raised an eyebrow at him before returning to Jim's side. Jeez, even as kids they were inseparable. Bones walked over to M'Benga figuring Spock would be able to watch Jim without too much trouble. Then again Bones thought Spock was capable before, and now look where they were.
"It's the strangest thing Leonard," M'Benga commented while going over his own test results.
"Tell me about it," Bones replied while watching the two children interact.
"Spock, besides being the wrong age, is perfectly healthy. It's like whatever they drank not only set them physically back, but also mentally. Spock really believes he is five years old, and has no memory of anything after," M'Benga informed Bones in awe.
"Dammit, what are we going to tell the crew? The admirals?" Bones questioned turning his attention back to M'Benga who shrugged helplessly.
"Well, who is in charge now?" M'Benga asked trying to remember the chain of command.
"Aye, that'd be me," Scotty announced as he walked into the medbay covered in grease.
"Great," Bones mumbled exasperated. It was bad enough when Kirk was captain, but Scotty was even crazier. Spock wasn't even in his right mind to step in and stop this madness.
"Hey, I'd have you know that I already have this little problem figured out," Scotty said surprising the pair of doctors.
"Really? What's your plan then?" Bones asked while crossing his arms. He just had to hear what crazy half brained scheme Scotty came up with.
"I'm going to inform Starfleet that the Enterprise will be under maintenance because of a leak in the warp chamber. So we can only go at max warp 2, and that'll give us some time to figure out what to do with the captain and commander," Scotty explained with a proud grin.
"That is actually a really good idea," Bones mumbled surprised making Scotty frown indignantly.
"Of course it's a good idea! I came up with it!" Scotty exclaimed drawing the young boys' attention towards them. "Oy, are these them then?" Scotty questioned while walking over to the curious boys.
"Hi," Jim greeted with a little wave. Spock merely nodded his head in acknowledgment.
"Wow, aren't you two tikes wee?" Scotty commented and proceeded to ruffle the boys' hair amused. Jim giggled while Spock frowned slightly and fixed his hair hiding his annoyance. "How about we get yah boys fed?" Just then Jim's stomach let out a loud grumble that had him blushing embarrassed. Spock looked at him before turning back to the adults.
"Jim and I need sustenance," he informed them seriously.
"Dammit, I'm a doctor not a babysitter," Bones grumbled while shaking his head.
It was going to be a long day.