Chapter Text
Jungkook was young, but he wasn’t blind.
Since high school, Jungkook had grown immeasurably. He’d seen more of the world than he could have imagined a few years ago. He’d gotten a degree, made new friends, adopted pets, and fallen in love. He’d had his heart broken and moved on. He’d made mistakes and learned from them.
He might have been young, but he was mature for his age—more mature than most, more mature than people gave him credit for. He had come so far, yet remained the same at heart. He had changed and learned what he could expect from the world, but there were still things he wasn’t ready to face.
“What time did Jin-hyung say he was coming?” Namjoon asked. He was balancing his laptop with one hand and wrestling a squeaky ball away from Sorbet with the other. The puppy only sank his teeth in tighter, growling. Namjoon eventually gave up and wiped the drool on his pant leg. Sorbet dropped the ball, tilting his head in confusion when Namjoon didn’t pick it up.
“He said five, but that he ran into traffic,” Jungkook said, tapping his foot anxiously.
He was doing a good job of staying away from the door and checking his phone obsessively, but found it hard to concentrate on anything other than the timing of Jin’s arrival. It was already ten past, but Jin had said he might be as late as five-thirty. “There was a bad accident along my normal route,” he’d said, while on the phone with Jungkook. “So I tried another way and it turned out to be worse. I hate to keep you waiting. I’m sorry, Kook-ah.”
Namjoon frowned. “Makes sense. I’m going to get Sorbet dinner while we wait, and then I have to send some things to Yoongi-hyung. Let me know if he texts early, okay?”
Jungkook nodded, and Namjoon called Sorbet to him. Sorbet chased after him with the limitless excitement of a year-old puppy. Jungkook’s heart ached at the sight of him. It had taken the three of them years to find the right pet at the right time. Namjoon has always had dogs, and Jin had dozens of small animals when he was younger, but Jungkook had bad luck.
He loved Sorbet so much, and it hadn’t been that long since they’d brought him home. He’d loved Gelato, too—he never could have imagined how attached he would become to the older dog. It still hurt to think about him—Jungkook knew it always would.
Jungkook lost track of time while he waited. He could hear Namjoon working with Sorbet, distantly, but he wasn’t focused on it. He kept checking his phone even though he knew Jin hadn’t messaged (and probably wouldn’t, since he was driving). He reread his last few messages with Jimin and Tae, obsessively reloaded his Twitter for any sign of Yoongi, and started pacing.
When Jin finally knocked (which he never did, unless he’d been locked out—that should have been Jungkook’s first sign that something was wrong), Jungkook nearly threw up because he’d made himself so nervous.
He didn’t have a reason to be nervous. He’d spent the past few days texting Jin constantly, with Jin answering religiously even though Jungkook reminded him again and again that it could wait until after work. Jin had been skittish since his apology, but when they’d talked on the phone the night before (an hour long conversation that had Jungkook blushing like a teenager and finding himself as devastatingly smitten as he’d been when they’d begun dating), Jin had been his normal self. Jungkook had taken his time forgiving Jin, but he was eager to put everything behind them.
Jungkook opened the door to a visibly disheveled Jin. He looked as though he’d come straight from work—he was still dressed for it, but his shirt was rumpled, his tie was half-undone, and his hair was styled (though in desperate need of fresh bleach). His posture was perfect even though he was out of breath. Jungkook wondered if he’d sprinted up the stairs. His eyes brightened when he saw Jungkook, and Jungkook noted the dark circles showing underneath his makeup. Despite everything, Jin was effortlessly, intimidatingly beautiful. That was a simple fact that had been sending Jungkook’s heart racing since high school.
“Hyung, you’re home,” Jungkook said, inarticulate. He opened the door all the way, stepping back to allow Jin to come in. He was itching to hug Jin, but he made himself wait so that he didn’t overwhelm Jin.
But Jin hesitated. His shoulders stiffened and the hand he’d put on the doorframe clenched. Jungkook’s heart leapt to his throat.
“Jungkook-ah,” Jin said. He met Jungkook’s eyes for a brief moment. “Before I… come in. There was something I didn’t get to ask you a few days ago, when we had our talk.”
Jungkook swallowed. “Hyung? Is something wrong?”
Jin shook his head. He took Jungkook’s hands and squeezed. Jungkook noticed they were oddly clammy. “We’ve been going through a really difficult transitional period in our lives. I know I didn’t handle it the best way, but it made me realize something. I don’t know how I could have gotten through this without you and Namjoon-ah. I know I wouldn’t have come nearly as far as I have without you two. And I can’t imagine what it would be like going on without you. More than anything, I want the two of you by my side forever, if forever is possible. I love you more than anything.”
“Wait, you’re saying—you can’t be saying—”
Jin’s voice trembled. “I know it’s out of the blue, but I couldn’t wait. I’m sorry this is so sudden, and I feel really weird giving this kind of speech right now, but I wanted you to know. Even if this is out of place.”
“I don’t understand what you’re saying—”
“Jeon Jungkook,” Jin said. He gave Jungkook a sad smile. “I want you to marry me.”
Jungkook’s mind went blank.
“W-What?” Jungkook’s mouth went dry. “Y-You want… you’re proposing? Actually proposing?”
Worry lined Jin’s face. “Yes?” He squeezed Jungkook’s hands again. “I really, really want to marry you. I know we haven’t talked about it that much, and that’s my mistake. But I can see myself spending the rest of my life with you, and from the way we talked… we’ve always spoken about it the same way….”
Jungkook’s breath came short. His knees felt a little weak. “It’s so soon?”
Jin’s expression was crushingly hopeful. “Well, yes, and we’re young, but I’m sure about this. If you want this, I’m in.”
Before Jungkook could come up with anything coherent, Sorbet came barrelling down the hall and ran headfirst into Jin, wiggling so hard he was bent in half. Namjoon followed him, but he stopped when he saw their expressions. Jin looked like he might cry.
“Is everything okay?” he asked hesitantly.
Jin’s voice was hoarse. “Please marry me.”
Namjoon stared at him for a long moment. Even Sorbet picked up on the solemn mood. Namjoon glanced over at Jungkook, who couldn’t look at him. “I already asked him,” Jin supplied.
“It’s illegal,” Namjoon blurted. “You can’t propose because—because it’s not legal. We have three.”
“Who cares if it’s legal? We can have a ceremony. It doesn’t have to be legally official. But you knew that. I—I’m sorry I don’t have rings yet. I was going to wait and plan something but it felt right to do it now and I—” Jin abruptly cut his rambling off. He let go of Jungkook’s hands. “Oh, I… know that face.”
“I’m sorry,” Jungkook said. His eyes filled with tears. “Hyung, I’m so sorry.”
“I understand. Just tell me how you feel,” Jin said. His expression wavered, but he spoke evenly. It was almost as though he’d accepted the answer before he’d gotten it. Namjoon motioned for him to come through the door, and this time, he did, although his steps were hesitant. “If I did something wrong, I….”
“It’s nothing you did,” Jungkook said. He blinked away the tears and stepped away. “It’s that—people don’t say yes to proposals just because they love each other.”
Jin’s face became ashen. “What?” He swallowed visibly. “I’m sorry, I knew this was the wrong way to do it and I went through with it anyway. I should have planned more—the least I could have done was given you a memorable proposal. I wanted to take you somewhere nice, you know? And we’d have a wonderful night and I could prove that I’d be a good husband. But I… haven’t been that good to you and I shouldn’t have put pressure on you. You’re right—you loving me doesn’t mean we have to get married. It doesn’t mean that you should have to—commit, when we haven’t figured everything out.”
“No, hyung, it’s not like that,” Jungkook said. He reached for one of Jin’s hands. Jin flinched a little, but held onto Jungkook’s fingers tightly. “I don’t care about the proposal. You could have done it any time, anywhere, and I would just be happy that I got the chance to—” The words were surreal. He couldn’t keep up with the conversation. “—marry you. And I trust you. We’ve never had a problem we couldn’t solve once we talked about it.”
“Will you talk to me now?” Jin asked. Jungkook’s heart sank as he nodded.
“Why don’t we sit down for this?” Namjoon asked, breaking the tension between them. Jungkook hadn’t forgotten he was there, but he’d been too distracted to take note of his reactions. Jin obediently found a place at the table. One of his hands came down to pat Sorbet in an absentminded motion.
“I’m sorry, Joon-ah,” Jin said, looking down at the table. “I didn’t want….”
“It’s fine,” Namjoon said. He sat next to Jin and put a hand on his back, rubbing in a soothing pattern. Jungkook sat on Namjoon’s other side, and Namjoon wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Had this been a normal day, they would have been curled up in each other right now, the same touch coming a lot more easily. “Kook-ah, why don’t you explain….”
Jungkook pressed his palms into his eyes. He felt Jin’s eyes on him and shivered. “I don’t think I’m… ready. I want to marry both of you. I really do. But I’m not even twenty-three, and…. I don’t know.” Namjoon had his hand in Jungkook’s hair now, playing with the tips as if to reassure him that they were listening. Jungkook often had trouble wording things, and the times when they communicated best were when he didn’t feel rushed. He lifted his head. Across from him, Jin winced.
“Being young—”
“Isn’t bad, I know,” Jungkook whispered. “Some people my age are having kids and stuff. And you’re older, so maybe it doesn’t make sense, but…. I feel like I should spend more time being a dumb kid before I try to marry you.”
“You’re not a dumb kid,” Namjoon said. He kept patting Jungkook. Jungkook wished he had the words to explain how grounding it was.
“Maybe not, but mentally, I feel like I’m not there. I can see myself marrying you, but I always pictured it as something that would come later,” Jungkook said. He folded his hands together and looked at the table. “Other people might be ready, but I’m not… mature enough?”
“You know that’s not true.” Jin tilted his head. “And marriage doesn’t mean you have to stop being a ‘dumb kid.’”
“I don’t know, hyung. I want to marry you, but I just got out of college. I don’t even have a real, stable job,” Jungkook pleaded. He forced the tears away again. “And both of you are—successful. Namjoonie-hyung, you talk like you aren’t doing anything important, but the music you work on is so beautiful and maybe you don’t see it, but other people are starting to notice and sooner rather than later you’ll end up with the opportunity of a lifetime.”
Namjoon frowned. “You’re just as talented.”
Jungkook shook his head. “I haven’t established myself like you have yet. And Jin-hyung, you just got your opportunity. Even if that drama gets torn apart, so many people are going to notice you. This isn’t like being seen on a commercial or an ad. People are going to see who you are.” He took a deep breath, searching for the right words. He could have collapsed with relief once he found them. “You’re going to make it big, hyung. I can’t let myself be a—a trophy husband, while you and hyung are going such amazing things.”
Both of them were stunned into silence. Namjoon was the first to speak. “Jungkook-ah… if we become ‘successful,’ our relationship won’t change. You won’t be just a ‘trophy husband.’ You’re our person. Nothing that happens now could change the fact that we’ve loved each other for so long. You don’t have to be successful to be… worthy.”
“That’s not what it is,” Jungkook protested. “It’s that I’m not sure of myself yet. I don’t know what I’m capable of. I haven’t found myself. Some people would tell us we shouldn’t be considering marriage at our age, but I’m sure because I have years and years of reasons to trust you. It’s just that I don’t trust myself.”
Jin was watching him, slack-jawed. “Oh, Jungkookie… it’s not like you’re… inferior, or something like that, because you’re at a different spot. We love you. That’s why I want to marry you. The rest of it—I’m sorry I made you feel like that. I don’t mean to push you—I hope you didn’t feel pressured to talk.”
Namjoon squeezed Jungkook’s shoulder. “I am, too. But that’s not the only reason, right?”
Jungkook’s heart was pounding. I have to do this. He nodded. “I didn’t feel pressured. Namjoon-hyung, Jin-hyung… I really love you. I’m not ready to get married, but I want us to… love the way we always have. You’re two of the best things to ever happen to me.”
“I love you, too,” Jin said hoarsely. He couldn’t seem to meet Jungkook’s eyes. “I’ll wait for you, as long as you need.”
There was a beat of silence. Jungkook hung his head, rubbing his eyes, trying to get his breathing under control. He wished there was someone who could guide him and give him the words to express his thoughts. There was nothing like the elation of a proposal—he wanted to enjoy it so desperately.
He noticed Namjoon fidgeting beside him. Finally, Jin turned to Namjoon. “I would never want to marry one of you without the other,” he said carefully, “but I have a feeling that you would have refused even if Jungkookie had said yes.” His perfect composure was long gone. Jungkook hated to see him so lost and out of his element. It was rare that Jin reacted this way, even when they argued. “Namjoon-ah, could you talk to me…?”
Namjoon grimaced. He let go of Jungkook to take Jin’s hands. He pressed their foreheads together, and Jin exhaled softly, something like a whimper following it. Jungkook’s stomach dropped. “I love you more than words can say, but the time isn’t right. I do want to marry you someday. Right now, we’re going through a couple of big changes, and I’d hate for our relationship to be overshadowed by them. I don’t want to rush into marriage when we could wait a little longer and truly embrace ourselves. It’s more of a feeling than anything. Just a little longer, my Seokjin, and we can love as freely as we’ve always dreamed.”
Jin tensed. “I’m sorry,” he said. He cracked his eyes open and looked up at Namjoon, and then to Jungkook. “I should have thought it through more. You’re right, about the timing. It would’ve been better to wait, and now….” He shuddered. “Jungkook-ah, I’m sorry. I really respect your reason and I should have been more considerate of it in the first place.”
“Don’t apologize, hyung,” Jungkook said. He hesitated and then got up to sit closer to Jin. He wrapped his arms around him from behind. Jin usually melted into the touch right away. Jungkook held his breath until Jin’s shoulders drooped. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” He pressed his face to the back of Jin’s neck. “I can’t explain to you how happy I am that you asked. Just wait a little longer for me, okay?”
Jin huffed, a sound somewhere between amusement and defeat. “I’m embarrassed, honestly. That I didn’t know my boyfriends well enough to figure out that this wasn’t a good time to propose.”
Jungkook forced away his nerves. An embarrassed Jin was a Jin who clammed up, who sought solitude until he was ready to face reality. It was the worst reaction possible in this situation. Jungkook was surprised Jin had even admitted it.
“It’s not your fault,” Namjoon said. Jungkook lifted his head in time to watch him kiss Jin’s forehead before pulling away. “I admire you for having the bravery at all.”
Jin stood up slowly, dislodging Jungkook. Jungkook followed him so closely his chair almost fell over. “Please don’t leave, hyung,” he begged. He had a bad feeling about where this was going. So many rejected proposals ended with a failed relationship—a rejected proposal was always a sign of a deeper problem, and so many couples decided to break things off afterward, and even though Jungkook knew their relationship was different, he was afraid.
Jin’s eyes softened. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said, finally. But he didn’t touch Jungkook, instead stepping back. “Could I take a minute, though? I’ll start on dinner after.”
Namjoon shook his head. “We can take care of dinner—”
“My treat,” Jin said. His smile was strained.
With the conversation evidently over, Jin made a beeline for the bathroom. The door clicked behind him softly. Jungkook looked to Namjoon with wide eyes.
“Well,” Namjoon said. “We did just say no to marrying him.”
Nausea hit Jungkook like a brick. “I—I didn’t mean….”
“It’s okay, baby,” Namjoon said. He squeezed Jungkook’s hand and got up. “It’s perfectly fine that you’re—that we’re not ready. Everything you feel is valid.”
“I know, it’s just—I hurt him,” Jungkook whispered. He blinked hard. “I messed it up. I didn’t make it clear enough that I want him, I….”
“He knows,” Namjoon affirmed. “Don’t read into it too much. I promise that he knows.”
“Okay,” Jungkook said. Namjoon kissed the top of his head and then walked away—to take care of Sorbet, or finish whatever housework or project he’d been pursuing before Jin’s arrival, he didn’t know.
Jin exited the bathroom a few minutes later, looking a little less disheveled than before, as if he’d tried to clean himself up a bit. His expression was creased in a tight frown, but he showed no other signs of distress—not that that mattered. In true actor fashion, Jin was a master of hiding his emotions.
Jungkook only hoped that he was comfortable showing them around him and Namjoon.
“When was the last time either of you when grocery shopping?” Jin scoffed from the kitchen. “How are both of you not severely malnourished?”
“We usually take care of ourselves, I promise,” Jungkook answered. He walked into the kitchen and sat down, watching as Jin surveyed their disappointing lack of food. “Besides, I still qualify as a college student. I’m allowed to eat exclusively disgusting food.”
“Not on my watch,” Jin said. He looked over his shoulder, squinting at Jungkook. “But I thought you weren’t applying to grad school?”
Jungkook shrugged. “I’m considering it…?”
“Ah.” Jin turned back to the food. “Let me know if you need help with anything. I know it’s really not the same, since you’re in a different field, but I’ve been through the process before.”
“Thank you, Jin-hyung.” Guilt sat heavy in his chest, tainting his gratitude. He said nothing as Jin got started on cooking. Jin didn’t say anything, either. He was the type of person who liked to have time to think through his problems, but when he couldn’t have that, he liked to have something to do. Jungkook wouldn’t disturb him.
Jungkook, meanwhile, didn’t know what to do. He thought about texting Jimin, or Tae, or even Yoongi, but it didn’t seem like the kind of thing he should tell people yet. It was difficult not to be able to confide in someone.
When had they ever talked about marriage? Jungkook couldn’t remember a time when Jin had initiated a serious conversation about it. It had come up, of course, and they’d teased each other about proposals. They’d discussed the legality of polyamorous relationships in detail in the early months of their relationship, and it still came up occasionally—Namjoon spent a lot of time worrying about how to present them as a trio.
Reality had always been a pressing matter—and the inevitable heartbreak that came with the fact that they couldn’t actually get married. It bothered Jungkook a little, and Namjoon, but Jin has never said anything on the matter except that he didn’t care and would love a ceremony even if it wasn’t legitimate.
It made sense, in a way, that he’d be the first to consider it. It wasn’t that Jungkook thought they weren’t ready—he was confident in their relationship and very, very happy that he’d ended up with the two people he trusted most. Namjoon and Jin had expressed the same.
And it wasn’t that Jungkook himself hadn’t considered marriage. He knew Jimin had been seriously considering it with Yoongi, and that Taehyung was waiting a little while longer for Hoseok. But Jungkook? He’d always anticipated it as an event far into the future.
He’d spent an embarrassing amount of time of time talking with Jimin and Taehyung about what his proposal would be like. He hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d told Jin that the location and details of the proposal didn’t matter to him. He’d spent many years desperate for any kind of companionship that marriage was a dream no matter the proposal. He’d thought of ways to propose himself—and, while, admittedly, all of those ideas were elaborate and far from proposing without a ring at the door of a shabby apartment, he didn’t care that much.
He’d thought about the ways Namjoon and Jin might propose, and felt a bit ridiculous after witnessing Jin’s actual proposal. He’d thought it would be easy to guess. Namjoon appreciated grand gestures, but he also preferred to do the work with words. His gestures were more subtle, based around laying out his thoughts. Jungkook would have expected a bit of an outing for his proposal, but he’d rely the most on his speech. Jin was the type who wanted everything to be perfect, and would obsess over details. He rarely voiced his thoughts, but his actions were incredibly kind and sincere. Jungkook would never have anticipated such a spontaneous proposal.
Rejecting the proposal hurt. Now that he was giving himself a moment to think about it, he could look past his guilt. He was blown away by the fact that Jin had even thought of proposing after they’d gone through such a rough period. Their relationship was doing fine, now that they’d figured out how to communicate with the distance instead of letting things build up, but none of them were prepared to start thinking about a wedding.
Jungkook wished he could have said yes without consequence. It left a bitter taste in his mouth.
“Hey, Kook? Could you help me for a second?” Jin asked. Jungkook scrambled up and joined him by the counter. “Ah, it’s just… hard to do this with only two hands.”
“Of course,” Jungkook said. He liked watching Jin cook, and usually had little to offer, but sometimes Jin asked for help when he was running late. He was relieved that Jin wanted him close. Jin wordlessly made room for him at the counter, handed him the knife he was working with, and they continued in silence.
Jungkook didn’t need much direction when he cooked with Jin anymore, but they weren’t usually this quiet. Jungkook didn’t mind. Jin was tense, at first, but his shoulders would brush Jungkook’s every so often and he offered tiny smiles.
“You’ve added another half inch to your hair since I last saw you,” Jin said, reaching up to push Jungkook’s hair out of his eyes. “When do you think you’ll cut it?”
“Not for a while. When I get sick of it.”
Jin leaned over to kiss the top of his head. “It’s pretty when it’s long. You’re pretty. Anyway… I’m going to get Joon-ah, then we’ll eat, okay?” Jungkook nodded. “Thank you for helping me.”
Dinner was a quiet affair. Jin was making an obvious attempt to keep his spirits up, but the conversation gradually became more natural. Jin was reluctant to talk about work, at first, only making vague references to the coworkers he didn’t like and the scenes he was having trouble with, but after some prodding from Namjoon, he expressed the relief that had come now that the deadline for filming was in sight.
Jungkook could tell how much he enjoyed his job. It was in the way he could get carried away when describing a scene, and the way his eyes lit up even though he was tired.
It warmed Jungkook’s heart, even though he didn’t have much to offer in return.
Dinner was dragged out by their conversation, which was mostly led by Namjoon. The topic of the proposal came up only once, but Jin changed the subject immediately. Jungkook didn’t blame him. By the time it died down and they were able to clean up, it was late.
“Wait a second, hyung,” Namjoon said as Jin turned to leave the room. “There’s one last thing I wanted to talk about.”
“What is it, baby?” Jin asked. He paused in the doorway, tilting his head slightly.
“I just want you to know that—I do want to marry you,” Namjoon croaked. “We—We’re good on that, right? We want marriage? That’ll be our thing? I was really looking forward to writing our vows, but marriage isn’t the only way to express that we love each other….”
“I want that,” Jungkook said in a trembling voice. “I really do, hyungs. I’ll be ready soon.”
“No pressure, JK,” Jin said. He finally looked away. “That’s all the answer I needed.”
Namjoon didn’t want to say it out loud, but Jungkook knew what he was thinking. There were too many couples who split over incidents like this. They might have been different, but Namjoon was worried about causing a rift.
Of course Jin’s going to be hurt. But I think he understands. Jungkook sighed. It would be best if we spent more time talking about it. It’s been a long night, though, and Jin needs time to cool down.
It’ll be okay. I trust him.
They got ready for bed together, Jin unpacking his necessities while Jungkook took a brief shower and Namjoon let Sorbet out. Their routine was easy to fall into even though Jin had been gone for so long. There had always been a gap without him.
Jungkook felt the need to keep Jin close at all times, and Jin seemed reluctant to move far anyway. He kept shooting Jungkook pleased looks, and Jungkook did his best to return them.
“Come to bed, please, hyung?” Namjoon said, nudging Jin in the direction of their room as they finished their routine. “We’ve missed you.”
“Of course,” Jin said. He bit his lip. Jungkook didn’t comment on the wobbly way he trailed after Namjoon.
Jungkook took a deep breath. He raked his hands through his hair. After a moment, he followed Namjoon and Jin.
“You should take the middle, Jin-hyung,” he said as he walked in. Jin and Namjoon had been hovering by the door. Jungkook perched on the edge of the bed beside them.
“It’s your turn, Kook,” Jin said. “I’m tomorrow night.”
Jungkook blinked. “You remembered?”
“I’ve spent the past few months sleeping by myself. It gets very lonely. Of course I remember our cuddle order,” Jin said. He grinned at Jungkook. “Let’s go cuddle.”
Jungkook flopped in the middle of the bed, closing his eyes and making himself comfortable on his side. A few moments later, the mattress dipped beside him, and he could tell without opening his eyes that it was Jin. Maybe it was the pattern of his breathing, or the shape of his shoulders as he curled himself around Jungkook—Jungkook didn’t care, as long as Jin didn’t leave. He placed his hands over Jin’s where they rested on his waist, and leaned against Jin’s chest. Jin gave an appreciative hum.
Namjoon joined them on Jungkook’s other side, and he wrapped his arms around Jungkook. Jungkook pressed his face against Namjoon’s chest, inhaling deeply before letting out a content sigh.
“Good night, hyungs,” Jungkook said. He detached himself from Namjoon temporarily to look at his boys. “I love you so much.”
“Love you too,” Seokjin murmured. He dipped his head to press a light kiss against Jungkook’s lips. Although the touch was fleeting, barely there, Jungkook shivered. He watched with wide eyes as Seokjin leaned over to kiss Namjoon, and then sat up himself to follow suit. Namjoon smiled against his mouth, and kept smiling as they resettled.
“Good night,” Namjoon said, turning off the lamp on the bedside table. He hugged Jungkook against him, and Jungkook draped one arm over his side in return.
“Good night,” Jin echoed. He gave Jungkook another hug before getting comfortable.
It wasn’t long before Jin and Namjoon’s breathing began to even out. Namjoon was out in minutes, so it was Jin that Jungkook listened for—Jin, who was pressed firmly against Jungkook’s back, holding on a little too tightly considering how hot the room was. The fact that Jin was still nervous made Jungkook’s heart break.
But even Jin fell asleep relatively quickly, the stress of the day quickly dissolving from his shoulders and breaths. Jungkook sighed, hid his face against Namjoon’s chest, and resigned himself to a long night of thinking, of wondering, of hoping that the next day would go smoothly.
That morning, it took Jungkook a long time to come to. He had a bit of a headache, as if he’d slept poorly. There was a solid weight against his stomach that must have been Sorbet.
He rubbed his eyes and sat up, his heart leaping to his throat. Apart from the fuzzy white mound of Sorbet, the bed was empty. The sheets beside him were cold—an unpleasant reminder of how close Namjoon and Jin had been last night.
Jin. Stumbling over himself, Jungkook got up. He made a beeline for the kitchen on shaky legs. Usually he was the first one awake—he liked to get up early to work, as did his boyfriends, but he’d grown fond of the days he could wake them up with him. Waking up after them was unusual, and also not a good sign most days.
His heart jumped to his throat as he entered the kitchen and immediately dropped as he caught sight of Jin and Namjoon standing together, Jin poking Namjoon with a spatula in an attempt to chase him away from the stove.
It took them a moment to realize Jungkook was up, but they both smiled when they did. “Good morning, Jungkookie,” Jin said. He walked over to kiss Jungkook on the forehead. “Did you sleep well?”
Jungkook didn’t want to answer that question honestly. “It was okay,” he ended up saying. Jin patted the top of his head and let him sit.
Jungkook had hoped that things would be easier in the morning. Usually, when Jin came home from break, they’d spent the night trading stories and indulging in each other. It was hard, sometimes, but relief was the dominant emotion. They went to bed happy and would spend the mornings together.
Jungkook knew not to expect that, they had a lot left to talk about. Even before Jin had proposed, they’d had things they needed to address—problems that they’d solved over text but were important to talk about in person. Jungkook had faith in them, and this faith was why he was confident that Jin’s proposal wouldn’t make things awkward at all.
How wrong he was.
He didn’t notice it at first. Jin was acting normal—a little too normal, given what had happened. He wasn’t as in sync with Namjoon as usual, but Jungkook could attribute that to the fact that it had been a long night and he hadn’t been home for a while.
But it showed in the way his laugh pitched higher than normal, and in the way he hesitated before touching Jungkook. He brushed off any kind of issue, making vague references to the fact that they were going to talk later. He was most comfortable on his own, doing housework or caring for Sorbet.
Jungkook didn’t know how to address it. A couple hours later, he pulled Namjoon aside. “Hyung, what should we do?” he asked in a hushed whisper. He clutched the front of Namjoon’s shirt and focused on a spot behind him, unable to meet his eyes. “Jin-hyung seems off. Is he upset? Should I talk to him now? He seemed okay earlier, and I don’t want to remind him if he wants to let it go, but….”
“Jungkook-ah, it’s okay,” Namjoon said. He gave Jungkook a sad smile. “I actually talked to him a little this morning.”
Jungkook blinked. His hands loosened in Namjoon’s shirt. “You did?”
“We woke up early,” Namjoon said. One of his hands dropped to Jungkook’s waist, sliding to rest at the small of his back. It was comforting. “A couple hours before you, actually. Before the sun even rose. Hyung didn’t get much sleep, but we got to talk. He’s… well. He’s okay. You don’t have to worry about him. I know I haven’t gotten to talk to you much about what this means, yet, but I got to reassure him that we do want him. That we want to marry someday, and our thoughts match with his. He believed me, even though he’s upset. I think you should talk to him, though. He’s waiting for you.”
Jungkook inhaled sharply. “Really?”
“He does want to talk to you,” Namjoon took Jungkook’s hands and grasped them lightly. “But don’t worry too much about him. He’s okay.”
“Thank you, Namjoonie,” Jungkook said softly. “I’ll go talk to him now? And maybe we can talk tonight?”
“Of course,” Namjoon said. He pressed his forehead to Jungkook’s. “I think we’re on the same page, though. When you were explaining how you feel—I get that. It’ll be more worth it when you’re ready.”
The sensation of warmth that spread through Jungkook was enough to take his breath away. He blinked away his tears and hugged Namjoon for a long moment.
This was okay. It would get better.
Jungkook found Jin sitting on the floor with Sorbet in his lap, both of them dozing. Jungkook sat next to Jin and leaned his head on Jin’s shoulder. Jin woke up a second later and wrapped an arm around Jungkook with a sleepy murmur. Sorbet readjusted himself in Jin’s lap, resting his head on Jungkook’s knee.
“Hyung,” Jungkook said. Jin hummed in response. “Are you okay?”
“‘M okay,” Jin said. He sat up straighter and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “Are you?”
“Yeah, I’m…. Hyung, we’re talking about you,” Jungkook said.
“You want to talk?” Jin asked. He adjusted his hand around Jungkook’s waist.
Jungkook hugged Jin to his side. “Just want to see how you’re doing. You’ve been quiet.”
“I have?”
“I don’t know. It’s like you haven’t settled in,” Jungkook murmured. He pushed his face against Jin’s neck and closed his eyes. This is better. “I don’t want you to be upset.”
Jin began rubbing circles against Jungkook’s side with his thumb. Jungkook could only hear his sigh because of how closely he was sitting by his side. “You don’t have to worry about things like that. I’m alright, Kook. I’m just happy that I’m home. And happy that I can be home for real soon.”
“But you—have a right to be upset. I—hurt you. I don’t want that to linger.”
“Listen, Jungkook,” Jin said. His hand stilled. “I’m going to be blunt. I’m human. Of course I’m upset. I’m a little annoyed. But that doesn’t mean I blame you, or that I’m upset with you, or that I’m not going to let it go. It was inconsiderate of me to ask you in the first place.”
“I’m not mad,” Jungkook said. The words stuck like thorns in his throat.
“What?”
“I’m not mad that you asked,” Jungkook said, a little bolder now. “Even if it was—inconsiderate and we weren’t ready, I’m really touched. I love you more than anything, and I—I want to live my life with you. I know you need time. But—before I let you go, I want to make sure you’ll heal correctly.”
The movement of Jin’s hand resumed. “Oh.” He turned his head to rest his chin on top of Jungkook’s head. “I’m glad. Time is all I need, Jungkookie. I promise I’ll be okay soon, and in the future—I’ll handle work better. You two can come with me, or I won’t move out. But either way, distance isn’t a problem for us. It’s going to be okay.”
Jungkook exhaled shakily. “Hyung?”
“Hm?”
“I love you,” Jungkook whispered by Jin’s ear.
“I love you, too,” Jin echoed.
They stayed huddled on the floor for a while after that, long enough for Jungkook’s neck to grow stiff and for Jin’s joints to crack by the time he stood up. Sorbet, on the other hand, was as energetic as ever.
It took hardly more than a glance for Jungkook to relay the outcome of the conversation to Namjoon, who stumbled on them later—and for Jin to do the same to resolve whatever private conversations he’d had with Namjoon. It was a relief that they knew each other so well, but Jungkook knew they’d be talking more before Jin left.
Although Jungkook’s mind was sluggish and some of the tension lingered, the afternoon was better. Namjoon was working from home, but Jungkook had taken the day off. Spending time with Jin was enough, even if they spent it sitting in silence—which they did, for a fair amount of time. Jin was tired from work, but traded witty anecdotes and stories with Namjoon and Jungkook (“The mobile Mario Kart comes out next week. Have it downloaded so we can fight it out when I get home.” “Chilling Adventures of Sabrina is getting two more seasons at least. And Stranger Things four was confirmed. We finally have good food.” “Joonie, if you wanna be famous you have to make your music viral by recording yourself on TikTok.”).
They took Sorbet on a walk together as the sun started to set. Sorbet was well-trained for a puppy, but he was more excited than usual because Jin was there. For the first time, Jungkook felt like he was able to escape. With the four of them together, it was easy to forget that Jin would be leaving in the morning.
That night, Jin slept in the middle, as promised. He waited on the end of the bed until Jungkook slid under the blankets and poked him until he moved to the middle. Jungkook was content just to have his hands on them—they spent the minutes waiting for Namjoon whispering to each other, Jungkook listing exhausted promises, eventually making himself at home in Jin’s lap to make his point. He held Jin’s face in his hands and kissed him until Jin looked a little dazed as he clutched the front of Jungkook’s shirt.
Jin relaxed more when Namjoon joined them, not long after. It made Jungkook more aware of how wrong the dynamic was when one of them was missing, even though their individual relationships were different. Namjoon and Jin had known each other before Jungkook—they were closer in age and relied on each other in different ways. Jungkook was grateful for the fact that they each had ways to support each other.
That night, Jin fell asleep easier. He stayed up a little later than usual messaging his family and coworkers, but as soon as he settled down—Namjoon and Jungkook crushed against his sides—he was out like a light.
Once again, Jungkook didn’t sleep well.
Waking up the next morning was, overall, an unpleasant experience.
When Jungkook opened his eyes, he came to the uncomfortable realization that the sun was up and that he’d overslept. Namjoon and Jin were with him, and Jin was so close that Jungkook was almost in his lap—but he wasn’t there to stay.
“Wha—hyung?” Jungkook whimpered as Jin gently detached himself from Jungkook. Still half asleep, he tried to bring Jin closer to him. “Hyung, is it—?”
“I’m sorry, baby,” Jin said. He let go of Jungkook and sat a couple feet away. “I didn’t want to wake you up, but I have to get going soon, so I can make it back for a meeting tonight.”
Jungkook blinked a few times, forcing himself to wakefulness. Jin looked like he’d been awake for a while. Namjoon was dressed and ready to walk out the door. Panic rose in Jungkook’s throat, but he didn’t know why.
Jin leaned forward to kiss the top of Jungkook’s head. “I’ll call you tonight, okay? After I get out?”
“Okay,” Jungkook said. He rubbed at his eyes and got up, a little unsteady on his feet. The emotion of the past weekend was still so raw—he’d spent the past day trying not to think about how soon Jin had to leave. It was coming back to bite him.
The hour before Jin’s departure was a solemn one. Jin spent half of it running around in a panic as he prepared—repacking, saying good-byes, reorganizing his work. Jungkook tried not to follow him like a lost puppy (Sorbet had that covered).
None of them mentioned the proposal, but Jin seemed to be making a point to remind Jungkook and Namjoon of when he was coming home. It meant he wouldn’t be visiting, but the next time he returned would be when he returned for good.
Jin spent the other half of his time with Sorbet in his lap. Jungkook didn’t know what part of it hurt him most. Jin had always been the most reluctant to get pets—for the most respectable reasons—but he had to deal with the worst of the separation.
“I’m going to miss you a lot, hyung,” Jungkook said when Jin finally got up to leave. He wrapped his arms around Jin’s shoulders and pressed his face against his neck. Jin hugged him tightly in response. “I know it’s not that long, but….”
“It’s okay, I know. I don’t like it, either,” Jin said. He let go of Jungkook long enough to give him a warm kiss. “I’ll miss you.”
Namjoon and Jin exchanged their good-byes—their hug lasted just as long, Jin pressing himself as firmly against Namjoon’s chest as possible. Jungkook couldn’t hear what they whispered to eat other, but Jin’s expression was lighter when he drew away.
“I love you both,” he said as he got in his car. Jungkook had to force the sick feeling down again as he waved. “I’ll see you soon.”
Without Jin, the silence in the house was deafening. In silence, Jungkook had time to think. He didn’t want to think.
Admittedly, letting Jin leave after everything that had happened was torture. All three of them could easily acknowledge that, although Jungkook knew he had to hold on a little bit longer as Jin finished his work. Still, there was more that they needed to work out, and leaving that unfinished wasn’t right.
Jungkook didn’t know who to talk to. Going to Jin himself wasn’t an option. Namjoon was going through his own turmoil. Jungkook didn’t know if it was the kind of thing he should even be talking to people about—but without Namjoon and Jin, he was alone.
Against his better judgement, he texted Taehyung.
Jungkook was overwhelmingly happy for Jimin, but a part of him was irrationally bothered by the fact that his best friend had gotten married in the time that Jungkook had managed to reject his own proposal. Once his excitement over Jimin’s marriage wore off, he was able to recognize where the ache in his heart was coming from. The universe seemed to be laughing at him.
He probably deserved it—but irrationally or not, it hurt. He didn’t want to tell Jimin about the proposal, yet—not until after the honeymoon, preferably, because Jungkook did not want to be responsible for ruining that vacation if he could manage on his own.
For the same reason, he couldn’t tell Yoongi, even though he really wanted to. Yoongi was good at giving advice, especially when it came to the hyungs. Hoseok was also good at giving advice, but he was Jin’s cousin—which meant he probably already knew.
So, Taehyung was the obvious choice. Jungkook had always been able to approach him about anything, and this was no different—but as he pulled up to Taehyung’s apartment, he found himself nervous.
Tae won’t judge me. I shouldn’t be nervous. He’ll accept me, Jungkook thought. He took a deep breath and exited his car. I’m relieved that I have him. But I’m not happy that I have to do this.
Taehyung met Jungkook at the door and brought him into a tight hug before Jungkook can say anything. “Jungkookie! I’m so glad you’re here! I feel like it’s been so long since I last saw you.”
Jungkook smiled at him gratefully and let Taehyung dote on him. Taehyung ruffled his hair and kissed his cheek and held an arm around his shoulders as he led Jungkook inside. “I missed you, hyung.”
“I missed you too,” Taehyung said. He squeezed Jungkook’s arm. Jungkook didn’t have a chance to say anything else as Yeontan raced in from the other room and slammed into him. Jungkook lifted the bouncing puppy and laughed as Yeontan tried to lick his face.
“Hi, Jungkookie,” Hoseok said from across the room. He was leaning against the counter and smiling. He looked preoccupied—Jungkook wondered if he was on his way to work.
“Hi, hyung,” Jungkook said. He let Yeontan down and tried to resist pressing against Taehyung’s side. The way Hoseok was looking at him was strange. Jungkook trusted Hoseok with his life, but there was something about seeing him for the first time since the proposal that set him on edge.
But before he could think too much about it, Hoseok crossed the room and brought him into a hug. “It really has been too long. Make yourself at home,” he said. Jungkook’s exhale was shaky as he squeezed Hoseok back. “What brings you here?”
Jungkook swallowed nervously and tried not to react. “I just, um. I want to talk to Taehyungie about some things. I’ve been feeling off lately, and I just….”
Hoseok met his eyes. “It’s okay, Jungkook-ah,” he said. He squeezed Jungkook’s hand reassuringly. “We’re always here for you, remember? I should get going now—if that makes it better. But I’ll see you soon.” He patted Jungkook’s shoulder and then let go, making his way to the door. “I support you.” He looked away from Jungkook to glance at Taehyung. “I love you both.”
“Love you too, hyung,” Taehyung echoed. Once Hoseok was gone, he turned to Jungkook with confusion in his eyes. “He already knows? Did something happen?” He put the pieces together a second later. “Does it have to do with Jin-hyung?”
Jungkook blinked away the heat building behind his eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, hyung. A lot happened and I don’t know what to feel.”
“Are you okay?” Taehyung asked. He sat Jungkook down and Jungkook shrank into himself. “Are you hurt?”
“I’m okay,” Jungkook said. He reached for Taehyung’s hands and Taehyung gave them willingly. Taehyung sat next to Jungkook and leaned into him. “I should’ve known that Hoseok-hyung already knew. I guess I did know. But I didn’t want to believe it. I’m not surprised, he’s….”
“He’s…?”
“Jin-hyung’s cousin. They’re close. It makes sense that Jin-hyung told him, I’d do the same,” Jungkook finished miserably. He caught himself before he sighed. Taehyung let go of one of Jungkook’s hands to rub soothing circles into his back.
“Is Jin-hyung okay?” Taehyung asked.
“Taehyungie, he proposed to us,” Jungkook said. It was the first time he’d explicitly addressed the incident. The words crumbled like ashes in his mouth. “I turned him down. And Namjoon-hyung, too.”
“Oh, Jungkookie,” Taehyung said. The concern on his face was so honest that Jungkook could have cried. “Can you tell me what happened? When it happened?”
“He asked when he got home from break,” Jungkook said. It felt wrong to be telling another person, but he knew it was better that he got it out. “He asked right when he showed up. I was really caught off guard. And then Namjoon-hyung came over and he asked him, too. I don’t think he realized how it sounded to us.”
“And you said no,” Taehyung prompted, lacing their fingers together.
Jungkook stared down at their entwined hands. “I didn’t say no because of how he asked. That really didn’t matter to me. I guess it’s the fact that I had to say no that bothers me. I love Jin-hyung so much. He deserved a yes.”
“It’s okay to turn down a proposal,” Taehyung said. “You can be in a committed, healthy relationship and not marry. It’s not for everyone at every time. And if it’s because of something else—I won’t press. It’s okay.”
Jungkook closed his eyes. “I turned him down because I’m not ready. It’s complicated. I want to marry him, but it wouldn’t be right for me to marry him now. That wouldn’t be fair to him.”
“Is it because if your age?” Taehyung asked, frowning.
“Not really. It’s more where I am mentally. Marriage isn’t slavery, but I feel like I have to be independent for a little while longer before I get married,” Jungkook said. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I wanted to say yes.”
“Not everyone would be able to say no, even if it’s the best decision for them,” Taehyung said. He pulled Jungkook against his side. “I’m proud of you for that.”
“You—what?”
“A lot of people would have accepted that proposal even though they weren’t ready,” Taehyung said. “And that’s where mistakes happen. You did the right thing. Marriage isn’t just about loving a person. You don’t give yourself credit for how mature you are. I’m impressed with you, Jungkookie.”
“Oh,” Jungkook whispered. I’m ashamed of how I handled it. That never would have occurred to me. “But I don’t think I did well enough. I’m not sure Jin-hyung understands.”
Taehyung’s expression grew darker. “You and the hyungs are okay, right? You talked it over?”
“Yeah, I mean. We’re still together.” Jungkook gave a hollow, wet laugh. “I told him that I needed time, and he accepted that. He blamed himself, I think, for putting pressure on us. But I didn’t want to let him leave—is that bad? I feel like I shouldn’t have let him leave before I knew he would be okay.”
“Even if you’re together, you might not be okay,” Taehyung pointed out. “I’m not going to make you tell me anything, but I want to help you.”
Jungkook swallowed past the lump in his throat. “No, we are okay. But it’s sensitive, hyung.”
Taehyung resumed rubbing his back. “That makes sense. What did Namjoon-hyung have to say?”
“He didn’t want to marry Jin-hyung yet because our lives have been really chaotic in the past few months and he doesn’t think we should jump right into it. I felt guilty because it seemed like he was just waiting for me, but it makes sense,” Jungkook said. He folded his hands in his lap and stared down at them. “I haven’t talked with him as much as I’d liked to have. But I think, with him… he just gets it? I don’t have to explain myself to him because he already knows how I feel.”
Taehyung hummed. “As long as you’re sure that you’re getting your thoughts through to him clear enough. It’s understandable not to want to get married at your age, even if you’ve been in a committed relationship for a while. Even if you’ve known them for a long time. Even if you’re sure you want to marry them. If you were getting married, I would support you, but I don’t blame you for waiting. And Namjoon-hyung isn’t that much older than you. Two years don’t make much of a difference past high school. Jin-hyung is young, too, even if he seems more mentally mature. I applaud Jimin and Yoongi-hyung, I really do, but I don’t know anyone else who would dare get married so young.”
Jungkook swallowed. Taehyung gave a sad smile and squeezed his shoulder. “You have enough going on in your life. You don’t need to worry about marriage yet. You were a teenager a couple years ago. It’s okay to want more time to yourself.”
“I do want to marry them,” Jungkook insisted.
Taehyung gave a little laugh. “Okay. Well. I’m not saying that you can’t live your own life while you’re married. But if marriage isn’t on the radar for you yet, then you don’t need to feel bad about your decision. Honestly, based on what Jin-hyung has said before, I wouldn’t have guessed he was thinking about marriage. It sounds like it was completely spontaneous.”
“I mean… that’s what he said, but I feel like he’s thought about it before,” Jungkook said, wrapping his arms around himself. “Maybe not seriously. But he’s thought of it. He puts thought into everything.”
“He does,” Taehyung said quietly. He let out a breath. “Yeah. I wouldn’t be surprised. But maybe it’s worth it to talk to him about it more. Even if it wasn’t as spontaneous as it looked, I’m sure he had considered that you would say no. He might not have imagined why, but he’s considerate of what you and Namjoon-hyung need. Your relationship never would have lasted if that wasn’t true.”
“I’ll talk to him more,” Jungkook said. “I just. I wish I’d handled it better.”
“It’s going to be okay, baby. You have a wonderful relationship with them,” Taehyung said. “I don’t blame you for being upset. It doesn’t matter when you get married.”
“I do want to get married. I don’t think I made that clear enough to Jin-hyung.” Jungkook smiled weakly at the thought. “I feels almost fake to talk about it. I would do anything to marry them. I feel like the protagonist of a shoujo manga. I can’t talk about it too long or I get flustered and it’s stupid. I’ve been dating them for ages. I feel like I’ve been dating them since middle school because not that much changed when we started dating. It’s embarrassing.”
“That’s cute. But I’m just making sure,” Taehyung said. “You know, Hoseokie and I have talked about marriage. But we’re not sure, you know? People react to the same things in different ways. Jin-hyung had bad relationships when he was younger and he wants to marry his first good boyfriends right away. Hoseokie-hyung had bad relationships and he doesn’t want to get married for a while—not because he doesn’t love me, but because he has different values and that’s okay. It’s about finding what’s best for your relationship.”
Jungkook blinked. “You and Hoseok-hyung…?”
“Yeah, we thought about it for a while. But we’re also not ready. Marriage isn’t the most important thing for us. We can express our love in other ways, and that doesn’t mean our relationship is any less valid. Some married couples aren’t as close as we are. Someday, when the time comes, we’ll get married and it’ll be worth that wait. But that’s just how we want to handle it,” Taehyung said. “That could be in a few years, or next week if that’s what we decide. But it’s not the most important thing to us right now.”
“I didn’t know,” Jungkook said. “That makes sense.”
“It’s up to you to decide what you want from the relationship in the future,” Taehyung said. “Whether that means marriage in a couple years or marriage in ten. Or, if there’s something you need to figure out, what you need to change in the future.”
“Thank you, hyung,” Jungkook said. He pressed his nose against Taehyung’s neck and let Taehyung hold him, finally comforted. “I wish I didn’t feel so bad. I can’t stop thinking about his face when I told him no. I can’t stop wondering how he’s doing right now—if he really knows how I feel.”
“Sometimes, you have to give him tough love,” Taehyung said matter-of-factly. “There’s nothing you can do about it now, other than talk to him when you can. I know the situation isn’t ideal, and that’s part of the problem. But I know you’ll be okay. And if there’s anything you ever need, I’m here for you and your boyfriends.”
“Thank you—”
“You don’t have to thank me,” Taehyung said, without missing a beat. “You’re my Jungkookie. My best friend. It’s what you deserve.”
“I think… I know what I want, in the future,” Jungkook said. Taehyung nodded encouragingly. “We didn’t handle Jin-hyung’s work situation right, but we can fix that next time. And I… am really happy with them. Is it selfish for me to want things to stay the way they are for a little bit longer? Until I figure myself out? I feel like it’ll be better for all of us, then.”
“It’s not selfish as long as you’re communicating with them,” Taehyung said. “That’s always the key, isn’t it? That applies to all relationships.”
“Yeah,” Jungkook breathed. “When I was younger, I didn’t really consider polyamory for myself. It felt weird to research it, and even when I did, I felt like Namjoon-hyung and Jin-hyung and I were a special case. I don’t know if other people have dealt with things like this before.”
“Maybe that would be good to look into,” Taehyung said. “I don’t know if you need advice, seeing where you are now, but it might be comforting.”
“I think I’ll try that. This is also really awkward, but. I feel bad telling you about this. Because of Jiminie,” Jungkook admitted. “I can’t burden him with this when he just got married, you know? And it’s a little… pathetic of me, to be worried about rejecting a proposal when all of this is going on. It’s such bad timing, but it’s not like we knew about Yoongi-hyung and Jimin-hyung.”
“You don’t have to worry about Jimin,” Taehyung said. He patted Jungkook’s hair. “Jimin would be happy to talk to you, even with everything going on. It is bad timing, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less important that you get help. If anything, he’ll understand more. He just made the same decision you did.”
“But he said yes!” Jungkook whined.
“Trust me. You don’t have to be scared of Jiminie,” Taehyung said. “You don’t have to talk to him, but him getting married doesn’t mean you can’t tell him about this,” Taehyung said.
Jungkook offered a weak smile. “I don’t want to worry him. He should be having the time of his life right now, you know?”
“I think he’d be more upset if he didn’t have the chance to talk to you,” Taehyung pointed out. He started patting Jungkook’s hair. “Yoongi-hyung, too, although Jin-hyung will probably monopolize him.”
“I think about the fact that we have the same friend group a lot,” Jungkook said, snorting. “Makes this situation a little more awkward.”
“Ah, and news spreads fast,” Taehyung said. “We’re all on your side, so don’t worry about it.”
“I’m a little worried about what Yoongi-hyung will say to Jin-hyung. I don’t want him to be—too overprotective, you know…?”
“Fair,” Taehyung said. “But Jin-hyung probably gets it by now. You don’t have to worry.”
“I’ll talk to them,” Jungkook promised. “But I don’t know if it’ll help. I don’t know if anything will really help until Jin-hyung gets home.”
“Long distance isn’t for you?” Taehyung asked.
Jungkook sighed. “I wouldn’t say that. I don’t mind it. I would do it for Namjoon-hyung and Jin-hyung. But we spent our childhoods together and it’s just—inconvenient, I guess. Because that’s not what we’re used to. And it could be avoided. I don’t mind long distance, I mind that we should’ve figured it out when we met in person and didn’t.”
Taehyung frowned and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “That makes sense. You’re going to be okay, Kookie. It’s only a little while longer. A lot of people would envy what you have with Namjoon-hyung and Jin-hyung. I know you. It’ll work out.”
“I know,” Jungkook murmured. He leaned against Taehyung’s side and relaxed, simply grateful for the comfort of his friend.
After talking to Taehyung, Jungkook felt more at ease. He was more sure of his decision—and prepared to deal with the fallout. Over the phone, Jin seemed fine, which Jungkook found more confusing than anything. Jin was giving no sign that anything was wrong, and Jungkook hoped he wasn’t just covering things up. Jungkook found it unbelievable that there hadn’t been some kind of miscommunication.
Taehyung kept in touch with him after that, checking on Jungkook every so often and making sure he was happy—and keeping up with Jin. Hoseok kept in touch, too—although his support was more subtle and Jungkook didn’t feel pressured when talking to him.
Jungkook felt better, but like he was hiding something every time he spoke to his friends without mentioning Jin. There was always something missing. News spread fast in their group—sometimes uncomfortably fast—so Jungkook figured it was better to break the news rather than make himself anxious over it.
He was left with Jimin and Yoongi. There was a chance Yoongi already knew—if he’d caught wind of any angst on Jin’s part, he wouldn’t rest until he knew Jin was okay. It was likely he’d talked to Jin already, but either way, Jungkook wasn’t quite ready to face Yoongi’s aggressively caring attitude.
Jimin was easier—he’d always been one of the first people Jungkook could bring his problems to. Even if Jimin didn’t have a solution, Jungkook always felt relieved after he talked to him.
He wasn’t really comfortable telling anyone else. He could only imagine what his parents would say. Explaining the situation with Jin and Namjoon in the first place had been tedious and had led to a lot of insecurity on his part—he couldn’t imagine addressing a blooper proposal.
Jimin and Yoongi were ridiculously busy during the weeks before their honeymoon. The honeymoon itself was difficult to plan—it was a last-minute decision that was hard on their wallets. On top of that, they were beginning to plan the public version of their wedding—as public as a ceremony could be considering only their closest friends and immediate family would be there. It would be a simple ceremony, with none of the extravagance of a normal wedding, which was exactly what they wanted.
Between future planning and work, Jimin had almost no time he could meet Jungkook. Jungkook eventually gave in and agreed to help Jimin plan in exchange for an urgent conversation.
(That deal had been joking, of course. But Jungkook was more than willing to help Jimin—especially if it gave them more time to talk.)
Jungkook was a little nervous about it, purely because he didn’t want him to present Jin’s intentions poorly or explain the situation wrong. He knew he could trust Jimin, though.
When Jungkook arrived, Jimin was deep into planning. He looked flustered when he opened the door, but invited Jungkook in eagerly. “I’ve missed you!” he said, pulling Jungkook into a tight hug. “Please come in. I’ve been driving myself crazy working by myself. My husband went to work and left me all alone.”
“Your… husband,” Jungkook repeated. He sat at the kitchen table, which Jimin had covered in files and travel brochures and information that made Jungkook’s head spin. Jimin beside him and opened his laptop, where he was browsing through more of the same. “It’s really weird to hear you say that.”
“Is it?” Jimin asked, grinning. He tapped his ring unconsciously. “It’s weird for me, too. I introduced him to some of my coworkers the other day and I had to think for a moment.”
“I’ve never thought of you as a married man,” Jungkook said, laughing a little.
“Me neither, to be honest,” Jimin said, smiling softly. The need to tell Jimin what had happened weighed heavily on his mind, but he was, admittedly, relieved when Jimin changed the subject. “So, Yoongi and I were pretty set on our honeymoon plans, and then I made the mistake of telling my parents what we were up to. I wasn’t going to listen to them at all, but Yoongi got worried and we started re-researching everything. And then they started asking about the ceremony, and they keep giving their ‘input.’ I mean, I really do appreciate the fact that they’re interested, but now I’m reconsidering everything.”
“What did you have planned before they got involved?” Jungkook asked.
Jimin shrugged. “My parents are the kind of people who feel like you have to do something for your honeymoon to be well-spent. Yoongi-hyung’s idea of an ideal vacation is to just relax, which doesn’t have to mean any kind of big fancy plan. And I want to see the sights, but I really like the idea of not having a plan. Anyway, we were just going to wing it, but my parents….”
“Nooooooo.”
“Yeah. They’re trying to be involved in the ceremony planning, too, and I keep having to remind them that we already exchanged rings. I’m not emptying my wallet for a big ceremony that we’re having entirely for their benefit. This is like… the blooper. The dress code is jeans,” Jimin said.
“Actually?”
Jimin laughed. “No, but we don’t have high expectations. Just have fun with it. I don’t care what it ends up looking like. Flowers would be nice.”
“Flowers are expensive,” Jungkook pointed out.
“Exactly. Wanna help me find the cheapest flowers in Seoul?”
They spent the afternoon without getting much done. Jungkook liked being with Jimin because they could talk for hours without doing anything. Jimin wasn’t too particular about his tastes, so he let Jungkook handle a lot of the planning. Jungkook was more than pleased about the distraction. Even though his knowledge was fairly limited on all matters wedding planning, Jimin was happy as long as it was done.
This could have been me, Jungkook realized. If I’d said yes to Jin, I would have to start planning my own wedding. I can’t picture it.
Jimin also readily provided Jungkook with details of his married life—which, predictably, was no different from dating life. The concept seemed so far away that Jungkook had trouble picturing it. Planning, though, made it more real.
“Hyung,” Jungkook said urgently. Jimin looked up from his work. “How did you know when you were… ready? I know you said it was spontaneous, but I know you’d been thinking about it for a while, so… when did you start talking about that? When did it… feel… right?”
Jimin tilted his head. He seemed to sense Jungkook’s change in mood and set his papers down. “I’m not sure there was ever really one moment. It was a gradual change. If you’re looking for advice, I’m not sure I’m the best person, because I didn’t meet Yoongi-hyung that long ago.”
“Some people move a lot faster,” Jungkook pointed out. Now that the focus of the conversation was on him, he found it hard to meet Jimin’s eyes. He looked over Jimin’s shoulder to where Ketchup was perched on the counter. Ketchup was Yoongi’s cat, technically—Yoongi had owned him since high school and the cat had been readily adopted by Jimin when they’d started dating. Pleased at the attention, Ketchup hopped off the counter and padded over to Jungkook. Jungkook reached down to pat the cat’s head.
“You’re right. Four years is more than enough, for some people,” Jimin said. “I never thought it would be enough for me. I still feel too young. But the more I thought about it, the more comfortable I became with the idea.”
“How so?” Jungkook asked. Ketchup hopped into his lap and head butted Jungkook until Jungkook scratched behind his ears. Jungkook had offered to take care of Jimin and Yoongi’s cats while they were in Hawaii, but Sorbet had never met a cat, and Jungkook had had to agree that they were better off with Hoseok and Taehyung.
“It all depends on your idea of marriage. To me, marriage didn’t change much,” Jimin said. “Yoongi-hyung and I have been living like we’re married for years. At some point I realized that spending my life with him wasn’t a scary thought. That it wouldn’t matter when we signed the documents because all they would do is confirm what we already knew. I guess, with someone else, I might have waited longer? But the way I can trust Yoongi is different from the way I can trust almost anyone.”
“He gives that vibe,” Jungkook said. He gave Ketchup a light hug. Ketchup began purring loudly, a steady rumble that Jungkook could feel.
Jimin smiled at the thought. “The difference with him is that even when we have disagreements, I know we can compromise in the end. That’s all I ever wanted in a partner. We respect each other and know what we both need. I could’ve easily waited a few more years, but it’s a good a time as any right now.”
“You’re brave,” Jungkook said softly. He kissed the top of Ketchup’s head. “To just… go for it like that.”
“Well, it felt right, when he asked. And I knew I wouldn’t regret it, even though I’m young,” Jimin said. “I never imagined myself getting married so early. I always had it in mind that I’d wait longer. But I’m happy where I am, and that’s what matters.” He reached over to squeeze Jungkook’s hand. “So, is it okay if I ask about what happened with your boys?”
Jungkook flinched. “You knew about that?”
Jimin visibly deflated. “No, not exactly. It was just a feeling. You seemed a little nervous when you came in, and you haven’t mentioned them at all. And then it make sense when you asked the question. Also, I heard Yoongi-hyung chewing Jin-hyung out on the phone the other night, but I’m not sure if that was related.”
Jungkook swallowed nervously. The revelation made him feel a thousand times worse even though he was a little relieved. “Yeah, that was Jin-hyung.” I’m not surprised by Yoongi-hyung’s reaction at all.
Jimin frowned. He shifted in his seat to face Jungkook. “Are you okay?”
“We’re fine. It’s nothing like that,” Jungkook said. He kept patting Ketchup, finding it was easier to speak when he could be focused on something else. “Jin-hyung asked us to marry him the other day.”
“Did you give him an answer yet?”
Jungkook’s voice was a little hoarse when he answered. “Yeah.”
“And that’s why you asked….”
“Yeah.”
“Do you need to talk about it?” Jimin asked softly.
Jungkook had a bad feeling about where the conversation was going. “Don’t worry about us. Our relationship is fine. It was just really sudden, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
“How so?” Jimin asked carefully. “Are you unsure about your answer?”
Jungkook shook his head. “I know it was the better choice for us right now. And it’s not a big deal, really. I’m just having trouble expressing that to Jin-hyung. I’m worried he’s upset and I don’t know how to talk to him.”
“Jungkookie, you don’t have to worry,” Jimin said. He squeezed Jungkook’s hand again. “They’ll listen to you. It’s okay if you don’t have the right words. All of us are here for you, if you need.”
“Thank you,” Jungkook said, biting his lip.
“Why don’t you tell me more about what’s been going on, and then I can help you out?” Jimin asked, sliding an arm around Jungkook’s waist.
Jungkook still didn’t know where he was going, but he was glad that he had time.