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Adrien flopped down on his bed and sighed.
“Tell me the truth, Plagg: Does my Chat Noir bad luck also affect Ladybug?”
The tiny Kwami looked up from the Lego catalogue he was hovering over and raised an eyebrow.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Today, in the fight, when she missed with her yo-yo and dropped into that tour bus. Was it– was it me who caused that?”
“You mean when she passed by that giant ‘Adrien’ perfume billboard? Well, technically…” Plagg paused for a second. “Let’s say it wasn’t any bad luck of yours that caused it. What ever gave you that crazy idea?”
Adrien held his head in hands. He was visibly trying to gather courage before speaking.
“I never wanted to say anything, because I enjoy being Chat Noir so much. It’s the most important thing in my life. But lately I’ve been thinking about the bad luck that comes with it, and how it affects those around me. Isn’t this really unfair to my Lady? Am I hurting her? Us? All of Paris? Would she be better off without me?”
Plagg finally looked fully at him, with an expression that showed he had been spending millennia telling people that they were idiots.
“You’re insane. There’s no such thing as bad luck. Well, except being stuck with an owner who thinks giving you American cheese is funny.”
“Are you still mad about that? It was just a little joke.”
“It was treason of the highest order! Worse than Brutus, Cassius or Judas! It was… as bad as the time you rickrolled Nino!”
Adrien cringed. That was a memory he wasn’t keen to revisit. Still, he bravely tried, mumbling, “that wasn’t really bad either”.
“You say that now,” said Plagg gleefully. “I still remember your crying after Nino sent the text saying that he was disappointed in you.”
Now Adrien let out a low groan and tried to hide under his pillow.
“I loved it! And all the texts you sent him asking him to forgive you because you thought he was actually mad. It was hilarious.”
“Yes, okay! But then he did it to me, and it was all good, remember?”
“Oh yes, classic. ‘If you want me to forgive you, here’s a list of things I need you to do.’ At least you chose friends who have a good sense of humour.”
Adrien threw an AirPods case at Plagg. It passed right through the Kwami’s body.
"Well, anyway… what do you mean when you say there's no such thing as bad luck?"
Plagg sighed, as if this was the most obvious thing ever.
"There's no such thing as luck. Stuff just happens. Sometimes it's good for you, sometimes it's bad, but it's still just stuff that happens. The stuff doesn't care about you."
"But… but aren't you the embodiment of bad luck? Black cat and all? I mean, that's what everybody keeps saying."
"Excuse you. I am the embodiment of destruction. De-Struc-Tion. I keep telling you, stop reading the fan theories section on the Ladyblog."
"Bad luck, destruction, isn't that basically the same, though?"
Plagg shook his head, and stretched himself to his full height.
"Consider the Camembert…"
"Ugh, that again…", Adrien complained. Plagg ignored him.
"Brave, talented, beautiful souls spend their limited time on earth creating every single gram of Camembert. We are forever indebted to them. So yes, creation is good. But the Camembert only releases its full flavour when you eat it. This is an act of destruction; but that is required to fulfill its full potential. After all, could you imagine anything more tragic than a wedge of Camembert with nobody to eat it!?"
Adrien thought for a moment, then looked up. "So you're saying, destruction is a necessary part of life, not a bad thing, right?"
"Exactly. When things are wrong, sometimes you need to add something, and that's what Tikki and Ladybug do. Other times, you need to take something away. That's our power. Our privilege. There's no bad luck about this."
Adrien nodded, then frowned.
"Still, though… there's the whole luck symbolism. I mean, Ladybug shouts 'Lucky Charm' to trigger her power."
Plagg tried his best to face-palm with his tiny arms.
"Don't be stupid. She shouts it in english, right? Even though we're in France, and Tikki and me were last in China. Also your suit has a ridiculous bell, despite my best efforts to get rid of it. The bearer defines the power, outside of the very basics. You both think ladybugs are lucky and black cats are not, and that defines how you act. It has nothing to do with my little red sugarcube and me."
Adrien was not yet willing to give up, but it took him a moment to think of something new.
"Okay, but then, isn't it a weird coincidence that you just happen to look like a bad luck charm, and Tikki like one for good luck? How did that happen?"
Plagg scoffed. "It's because people are resentful ingrates. You destroy one little Atlantis, and boom, 'keep away from small black fuzzy things with whiskers' becomes a cornerstone of global culture. Stupid. I told them it was an accident."
That was a revelation that… Adrien decided he'd better process later. Was that just a random historical fact, or was there the tiniest hint of sadness in his best floating friend's voice? Then he smirked.
"So, what I'm getting here is… the only bad luck about the Chat Noir miraculous is being stuck with your little smelly butt?"
Plagg crossed his arms and turned away.
"Well, I never…"
He was immediately shut up when Adrien started scratching him behind his ears. He started to purr, and after a second, so did Adrien. The tiny god moved closer to his human on the pillow.
"Kid, just remember: If I were unlucky, I'd have never met you."