Archive of Our Own ^beta

Kara arrived to Lena´s penthouse 12 minutes ago but keeps hovering above the bulding thinking what she is going to say to her best friend. The night fell a long time ago, so Lena was probably home by now, after a long day at L-Corp.
After that night where she tell the truth and gave her the Super Wach, Lena started to be cold and distant. She stoped talking to Braini and Alex completly. She was hurt. She was healing, and she needed space, Alex said, but Kara was not going to let her go just like that, she was going to remend her trust and care. She didn´t want to keep that distance. She didn´t want to leave her alone with her toughts.
The way Lena atracted her like a magnet was incomprehensible for everyone...even herself. Her genious mind, her beautiful soul. She was resilently amazing.
Deep breaths of fresh air helped calm her down. One. Two. Three. Breath. Her hands were shaking.
She landed carefully and slowly in Lena´s balcony.
The door was locked, and she was thinking of ways to break in just before she stops herself to do so. Lena was standing in the kitchen not facing the door.
Lena wasn´t answering her texts and Kara was her only friend and she knew that, she needs someone, she needs to talk, to be comforted. Even if she wants to keep those feelings deep down like always, this is too much. Too much hurt and betrayal. Is unhealthy. And the idea of someone else comforting her, just...felt wrong. It had to be her.
Kara knoked on the glass door with a shy smile and Lena turned around as she poured some alcohol in the kitchen. Low lights reflected on the glass door and the siluete of Supergirl was bearly distinguesh. She drinked the whole glass in one sip as Karra´s smile fell.
She is looking... beautifull. That was her fist thought.
She was wearing a dark tight dress probably her office outfit. Her hair was loose and she was barefoot.

-"Go away, Kara. I told you i need time". Lena said in a whisper knowing that Supergirl was able to hear her despite the distance.

-"Lena, please. Talk to me" Kara said to the glass door.

-"Bulletproof glass... I can´t hear you. Just go away, Kara. Please. I want to be alone, it was a long day at work"

Kara looked at Lena scanning her face. . Her eyes were red and there were bags under them. Kara was biometrically scaning her, was that the right thing to do? Her heart keep beating unsteady, when it usually speeds up a little. She was literally heart broken.

Kara wanted to comfort her, to bring her dinner, to prepare her a bubble bath, to wrap her in a blanket and keep watch on her all night long in case Lena has nightmares. Maybe a tea will calm her, chamomille or....
As Kara was kept in her own thoughts while Lena turned the lights off and pressed a button to close the curtins, leaving the blonde girl in the dark and silence of the balcony.
Kara sigh. This was going to be harder tan she thought.
She flys above the city, the lights getting smaller as she took higher flyght.
All the sounds were eclipsed for a still heart beat. Lena´s heartbeat. As she fell asleep.
Kara X-Rayed her room, to check on her, and there she was . Passed out in the bed with her work clothes still on.
She was wasted. Drunk.
The way Lena drank her problems away hurt Kara so deeply. How many times has she done it before? Why a bottle of alcohol instead of just talking to a friend?

The following day, she was helping the police with a bank robbery. She smiled at the gratefull cops and flys away, without noticing where she was going in her routine patrol.
She landed at L-Corp. In Lena´s balcony. The door was wide open as a quiet wind blow into the office.
-“You really don´t know what distance means”. Lena didn´t even turned around her chair to look as she regrets to leave the door open.
-“Why don´t we order something to eat and chat a little bit? … I miss you Lee.” Kara said at the foot of the entrance.
Lena turs around and walks to the door with fury in her eyes. Her hair in a tight ponytail swayed to the rhythm of her hirm steps.
-“Leave me the fuck alone!” She screamed as she closed the door right in Kara´s face.
Kara sight and she was already planing to visit her tomorrow. She smiled at her own perseverance. She was going to turn this around. She was going to win her back.
And without over thinking these feelings Kara went back to work, and the day went by silently.

The next morning the sound of raindrops were the frist thing that Kara hears as she wakes up.
She was debating going for a quick visit to Lena. She closes he reyes and focused on the location of her heartbeat. She was at L-Corp? A quick look at her window wasn´t going to hurt, right? ... No. She needs space.
Maybe tonight.

At lunch time the day went by at Cat Co without problems. The city was calmed, as the rain was falling.
Kara ditched Nia to bring Lena lunch. A Cesar Salad from Noonans. Her favouirite.
She flys to L-Corp excited to see her friend but scared. Last night she screamed at her. She was drinking but… she never screamed at her like that. Never. The blond hero was having second thoughts at this visit. Maybe she can call her before arriving. But..she was already at Jess´s desk before she notice.
-“Oh Kara” Jess was looking at her with pity in her eyes. “She asked to be undisturbed”
Kara X-Rayed the closed office as she cleaned her glasses. Expecting to see Lena working in her desk, she sees the room completly empty.
-“Do you think that i can see her for a little while? We both know she hasn´t eaten today”
-“She is busy Miss Danvers, please don´t compromise my job” Jess said as she writes in a post it a note and handed over to Kara.
“FIFTH FLOOR, SECOND DOOR ON YOUR LEFT. THE ELEVATOR CODE NUMBER IS #396784
THE LAB IS UNLOCKED. GOOD LUCK.”
With a wide smile the blond girl gives Jess a chocolate bar fom her purse that she was saving just in case.
She walks fast to the private elavator and the code worked perfectly.
Once in the lab she finds Lena with a wite lab coat looking into a microscope. And what apears to be…welding metal.
Just as she opened the door, she started to feel dizzy. Kryptonite? There´s Kryptonite in this room somewhere.
-“Breath. Is not a fatal dosis” The Young Luthor said.
Kara was breathing difficultly, not onlly because she was surprised or scared but she was in shock.
“This green Stone contains a 0.9% of my own sintetic kryptonite. As long as you are in the same room, you will be feeling sick. As close as you get from me, you will be more weak.”

She takes the metal thing and puts it around her neck.
The green Stone was beautifull and delicate in the necklace.
-“You should leave now, Kara”
She expected the young hero to run away in fear. But Kara stay put, like her foots are nailed to the floor. Lena saw fear in ther eyes, but she didn´t move. Neither of them.

-“I hurt you every day, for years. I lied and lied. I pretended to be someone i´m not, but my feelings were always truth” She took a step closer to Lena.
“I always consider you my friend, you are an amazing human” Kara´s eyes reflected the Green light of the Kryptonite gem and the effect that it was doing to her sistema
“You are a hero, you saved every alien in this city” Kara closes the distance with another step feeling that every sting of pain was worth it. Was deserved

-“You don´t want to do this, Kara. Why can´t you just leave? Why can´t you just leave me alone?”

-“Because I know what that is going to do to you. To be alone is to be weak, you think that it´s going to make you stronger, but is not. Opening yourself, and get hurt again and again is what makes you strong. To trust agin. To get hurt is to be alive. We are going to hurt each other. Sucks but we are imperfect hum… beeings”
Kara closes the distance and embrace Lena in a strong hug.
“It hurts for me too. I… wasn´t sure how to tell you. Or when. I can´t lose you, Lee. Please. The idea of being away from you hurts more than Kryptonite bullets in my heart”

Lena stayed stiff sorounded by Kara´s body. Her smell, her warmth. It was breaking her inside out. How this feeling of love and hate became in the middle of their friendship. They both lose control of the situation. One lie after another. Was the desire to hug Kara stronger than the desire to hurt her?

“I am willing to change. To do whatever you want. But please don´t push me away. Because I know in my heart that there is no way that i´m going to give up on you. Not now, not ever. Save us both the time and let me in”.
Lena breaks. Her heart pounding. She was aware of every inch that her body was touching Kara´s.
-“You always have your way with words” Lena said with a sad smile. The tears getting harder to contain.
-“I´m not here for forgiveness, Lena. Because I can´t even forgive myself. I´m here to listen to you, to comfort you. That´s what friends are for” Kara´s voice was hoarse with pain as the kryptonite effect grew.
Lena take a step back and looked at her in the eyes as she arched a perfect eyebrow.
-“Friends, really?”
Kara sighed deeply.
-“We will work on that. Is not a secret that I have deep feelings for you. Feelings that i´ve never questioned before. But I am ready to work on that.”
Kara´s eyes turned green as the kryptonite advanced on her system. She deserved this pain. She hurted her.

-“Why do you always come back? Even when I pulled this stupid trick to you. To hurt you” A tear fell from Lena´s eyes.

-“Because I love you” Kara sayed with her eyes locked on her boots. “Im not going to let you down again. I promised”

Lena took the green rock in her fist and pulled hard, ripping it from her necklace. She pressed some code in the desk´s first draw and opened it putting the kryptonite in the safety of a lead box.
Kara´s eyes recovered the blue colour as she take a deep breath now free of any fisical pain.
But the wounds of two broken hearts stayed there. Still hurting as she locked her eyes in Lena´s green orbes. She was crying silently.

-“You don´t understand Kara. You just can fix this. You can´t fix me” Lena said sobbing.
-“There is nothing to fix, you are not broken. You are healing. And I’m not going anywhere. Your thoughts are your worst enemy in this situations, and to be alone is only going to make them scream louder. Belive me, i´ve been in that same situation… for 24 years” Kara had a chill remembering the Phantom Zone.
Lena was in shock. All this was too much. All this double life. How old was Kara? Why is she saying this now?

-“I feel like I don´t even know you. I don´t even know who you are. My only friend in the world. How pathetic is that?”
-“But you do know me” -Kara interrumped as she takes Lena´s hands in her own- "Like no one does. You just don´t know my origin…my past life. You can ask anything you want. I am going to tell you absolutlely everything”
Now Lena was the one taking deep breaths. Her eyes locked in blue orbs.
There are only two ways. To move forward and to let Kara in again, risking everything, her heart and soul. Or close the door forever and leave this all behind. Sign probably a lot of NDC and take a step back from this. A step away from Kara. Is she ready to be all alone?
To trust Kara feels like the only right thing to do. Even after everything.
-“Is going to take time and effort. I can´t just open myself again to you Kara Danvers. I need to get to know you again. Your true self”
-“Then let´s start over. From the beginning" Kara smiled wide open " My name is Kara Zor-El, pleasure to meet you”
Kara´s introtuction breaks the tension as they both share a look full of hope.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------So this is it, hope you liked it