Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandom:
Relationship:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Stats:
Published:
2019-12-26
Completed:
2019-12-26
Words:
4,149
Chapters:
3/3
Comments:
36
Kudos:
311
Bookmarks:
57
Hits:
1,632

Allusions vs. Alliterations

Summary:

Deceit misses Virgil and pretends to be the other sides, thinking that this is the only way Virgil would talk to him. A little angsty but there's a happy ending! Set in universe, some vague time after the Accepting Anxiety episode.

Patton, Logan, and Roman really aren't there much, and Remus is mentioned but doesn't actually appear.

***Warnings: Swearing

Notes:

dedicated to my friend @the-sun-is-going-to-rise-again on tumblr! I love our conversations!!

gifted to @AliceKat and @Username_Undecided
Comments really do mean the world to me (and writers in general) and I read and reread the nice things people like y'all say! It's so lovely to know if people like a fic and what details/characters/plot points people appreciate! Thank you both so much for your comments on other things I've written <3 <3 <3

Chapter 1: Patton!Deceit

Chapter Text

Virgil opened the door, barely enough to peer out. When he caught sight of the side staring back at him, he relaxed, pulling the door open the rest of the way. He leaned against the doorframe, all soft edges and softer smiles. “Hey.”

Deceit’s heart fractured, because he knew he wouldn’t get the same reaction if he was wearing his own face. But he squashed all the broken pieces down inside him, forcing a chipper smile to stretch across his cheeks. “Hey kiddo! I was just passing by. Thought I’d knock on your door and check in on you.”

Something caught in Virgil’s expression, extinguishing the happiness that had just been there. “You don’t have to do that,” he said quietly.

But Deceit wanted to. He wanted to check on Virgil. It was hard, not seeing him as much. They had been with each other nearly all the time, before. “I know. But I want to. Indulge your old man?”

He watched as Virgil’s eyes flicked minutely back and forth, looking for something in his expression. “Okay,” he said finally. “If this is what you want.”

Deceit stifled a wince. There had been a time, once, when Virgil would have indulged him, but that time had long since passed. If Virgil knew who he was really talking to, he’d slam the door in a heartbeat.

But he wasn’t here to wallow in his own misery. Deceit was here with a purpose.

He fiddled with the ends of Patton’s cardigan where it was wrapped around his shoulders. “How are you? I know it hasn’t always been the easiest, adjusting to all of us.”

Virgil sighed and looked away. “No, it hasn’t.”

Deceit debated trying to hug him. Of all the sides, he thought Virgil was most likely to accept a hug from Patton (and currently, his face looked conveniently like Patton’s).

“Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change it. I’m - I’m glad I’m here.”

It took every ounce of willpower that Deceit possessed to not flinch. That one hurt.

“Well… I mean – you know how it is. I couldn’t change it, even if I wanted to. I didn’t have a choice, being summoned up there with Thomas and being dragged into the videos and everything. I’m not like… ” Virgil stumbled over the next word, and Deceit didn’t quite catch it, but regardless, he amended himself, “well… not like Deceit. I didn’t have the option to hide. But… I’m… okay here now.”

Deceit hummed. “I’m glad,” he said, the lie effortlessly slipping from his lips. The next truth was harder to admit aloud, although wearing a different face helped. “I want you to be happy.”

Virgil’s expression gentled and his mouth opened slightly, involuntarily. “Oh.” He looked down at the floor, not quick enough to hide his blush, and scuffed his shoes along the floor. “Yeah, me too,” he mumbled, embarrassed. “I, uh, want that. For you too.” He looked up, peering at Deceit shyly through his bangs.

Deceit felt all the air leave his lungs at once. It was the worst agony imaginable, hearing Virgil say he wanted him to be happy, knowing Virgil was saying it looking at Patton, thinking he was Patton. It wasn’t the kind of thing Virgil would ever say to Deceit. It wasn’t the kind of thing Virgil would even think about saying to him.

The knife in Deceit’s heart twisted just a little bit more.

He thought he could do it, stand across from Virgil and smile and ask about him and check up on him to ease his own worries a little and ignore all the heartache he knew would come with pretending to be someone else. But he was wrong. He couldn’t do it. It was too much.

Deceit took a step back. “I just remembered - the oven - cookies - I -”

Virgil gave him a sad smile, like he expected the sudden departure, and it was almost enough to make Deceit stay. Virgil put a hand on his door, already pulling it partly closed. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“Virgil…” He didn’t say anything else because he couldn’t find the words. He watched Virgil look away and frown, stepping backwards into his room. His free hand disappeared into the pockets of his jacket.

“Don’t be a stranger.” Virgil waited a moment, looking for something, waiting for something. After a moment of silence, Virgil pressed, “I’m serious.”

Not trusting himself to say anything, Deceit nodded once. He raised a hand in farewell and Virgil shut his door with a firm push.

Chapter 2: Logan!Deceit

Chapter Text

“Virgil?”

Virgil turned around, pulling his headphones down around his neck, blinking owlishly. “Huh?”

Deceit’s heart squeezed at the once familiar sight. He had caught Virgil unaware just like this countless times before, back when Virgil’s room was still right next to his.

Deceit, dressed as Logan, straightened his tie in a bid to look sheepishly nervous. “I knocked several times but you must not have heard me with your…” He gestured near his ears, indicating Virgil’s headphones.

Virgil smiled, warmth crinkling at the corners of his eyes. “S’okay. It’s just you. I don’t mind.” He turned away to set his phone and his headphones on his bed.

Deceit firmly told himself he was not jealous. He knew Virgil and Logan were fairly close. As strange as it may seem on the surface level, the rationality of logic against the irrationality of anxiety, the two got along like a house on fire. He knew coming dressed as Logan would be difficult, but it was harder than he thought, to watch the way Virgil’s expression grew fond when he looked at who he thought was Logan.

Virgil turned back to Deceit expectantly.

“Oh.” Deceit cleared his throat, pulling the book he was holding from under his arm. “I brought this for you. I thought you might enjoy it.”

“Frankenstein,” Virgil read aloud. He looked back up at Deceit. “Thanks. I’ll let you know what I think.”

Fear spiked in Deceit’s mind for a brief moment before he pushed it away. Chances were Virgil wouldn’t even read the book. And if he did, chances were he’d forget to say something to the real Logan about it.

“Good.” Deceit smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He hoped Virgil couldn’t tell. “Right. Well. I’ll just…”

“Wait! Um…” Virgil rubbed the back of his neck, biting his bottom lip as if he hadn’t meant to say anything. “It’s just - er I thought - we could - if you want -” He winced and shook his head. “Do you? Want to stay?”

Deceit’s heart squeezed painfully. He would give anything to hear Virgil ask him, the real him, that question. 

But he would take what he could get. He nodded, remembering to answer as Logan. “Yes. I believe I would enjoy your company right now.”

When Virgil smiled, easy and bright, Deceit decided that no matter what happened, it was worth it.

Virgil scurried around his room, pulling controllers out, one from under his bed and another from the bottom drawer of his desk. He pushed a pile off clothes off his bed into the floor, wincing when his headphones tumbled over the edge as well.

Deceit picked them up and gently set them on the bookshelf, raising his eyebrows curiously as he looked around the room.

“Would you believe me if I said I don’t know how everything got so messy?”

“No,” Deceit answered with a laugh, pleased when Virgil laughed as well. It made him happy to see Virgil look even a little relaxed.

They climbed onto the bed and Virgil flipped on the TV, handing one of the controllers to Deceit.

“What are we playing?”

Virgil looked at him, his expression soft, fondness rolling off him, thick enough that Deceit could practically taste it in the air. It hurt in the best and the worst possible way.

Sitting there, pretending to be someone else, eating up the attention Virgil offered him, but knowing it was only because he was wearing someone else’s face – it was slowly killing him.

Virgil may as well have pressed a knife to his throat. The outcome would have been the same. Deceit would sit still and tilt his head further, offering his neck to Virgil’s blade. It was the only thing he could do. Anything to be close to Virgil.

He was so hopeless.

Deceit let the edges of his mouth turn up in a smile, with too much affection and warmth for him to reasonably pass as Logan.

What had Virgil asked? What are we playing?

“Anything you want,” Deceit replied easily, never letting his gaze leave Virgil’s face.

Chapter 3: Roman!Deceit

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

After a few seconds of loudly banging on Virgil’s door, it was finally wrenched open, with Virgil looking none too happy. He started to growl, “I’m really not in the mood… ” only to cut off when Deceit, masquerading as Roman, grabbed his arm and swept him out into the hallway. Virgil made concerned noises, nearly tripping, but Deceit easily caught him, pulling him along.

He grinned, pleased at having caught Virgil off guard. Virgil was fun when he was flustered. Deceit let his excitement bubble over as he tipped his head back and laughed, spinning Virgil, until they were doing a sort of makeshift dance down the hallway. 

He tried to tell himself it was to play up his disguise, because Roman was loud and excitable, but he knew that was only partially true.

Virgil sniped half-hearted complaints the whole time, letting out a high-pitched shriek when Deceit dipped him. Deceit held him there for a moment before pulling him back up. He tugged a bit more than necessary and Virgil stumbled into him, until they were in more of a hug than a dancing position.

It made him feel carefree, acting like a child with Virgil.

“How are you today, Sergeant Stress?”

Virgil wrinkled his nose.

“Didn’t like that one? What about Admiral Angst? Director of Dread?”

Virgil huffed out a laugh, the beginnings of a smile teasing the corners of his mouth. “Nah. Not your best.” He pushed away from Deceit and walked back towards his room.

“Our Lord and Savior of Unease? Wait, I have more!”

“Are you coming in or what?” Virgil yelled back, not turning around.

Deceit knew he had the biggest, goofiest grin on his face, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Being ridiculous with Virgil made him feel like things were how they used to be again. He followed after Virgil.

Virgil was holding the door open, watching him expectantly, looking like he was fighting down a smile or a laugh. Maybe both.

“My dear,” Deceit entreated, with all the charm of the real Roman. He had reached Virgil’s room and was standing just in front of him. “What would you have us do today?”

Virgil’s face turned an alarming shade of red, and Deceit laughed wickedly on the inside. He was pleased to see Virgil was still as easy as ever to tease and embarrass.

Virgil had barely stepped backwards into his room when the trouble started.

Deceit heard a shocked gasp and when he turned around, Roman, the real Roman, was standing outside his own door just a few feet down. When their gazes collided, Roman summoned his katana and ran towards him, yelling, “Fiend!”

Cursing in the privacy of his mind, Deceit was dressed as himself again with a snap. He took a hesitant step back, wondering if he should conjure a weapon for himself or just sink out, but Roman skidded to a stop when he reached Virgil. Roman wrapped an arm around Virgil’s waist, hauling him backwards and behind him.

“Have no fear, Emo Nightmare, your Knight is here!”

Virgil pulled out of Roman’s grasp. “Dude. I don’t need your help.”

His words surprised Deceit. For the first time since Roman had arrived, he let his attention focus on Virgil. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and his mouth was set in a sour scowl… but he didn’t look scared or angry. He just looked like his default, disgruntled self. A tiny flame of hope sparked in Deceit’s chest before he firmly extinguished it.

Hoping for things was how you got hurt.

Roman’s mouth fell open, an indignant noise coming from the back of his throat. “But he was pretending to be me!” Roman turned back to Deceit, leveling a glare in his direction. “My nicknames are much more creative than simple allusions!”

“Alliterations!” Logan yelled from his room, his voice somewhat muffled by the closed door.

Deceit resisted the urge to facepalm.

“WHATEVER!” Roman yelled back, raising his voice to direct it to Logan, a room away. Virgil winced at the volume. Roman murmured an apology before turning back to Deceit, pointing an accusing finger in his direction. “And I do not call Virgil my dear.”

Deceit shrugged, careful not to let any of his nerves show. “You’re the romantic side, no?” he innocently asked, spreading his hands in front of him. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve played my part here-” Before he could finish, Virgil had moved from where he was standing, still partially behind Roman, to right in front of Deceit. Shocked, Deceit was taking steps backward before he even realized what he was doing, but Virgil’s hand on his shoulder steered him to the left, and he was caged against the wall before he could blink.

“Athena’s shield,” Roman swore quietly, his eyes wide. “Virgil, that was awesome.”

Virgil shrugged a shoulder, otherwise not moving, and didn’t turn to look at Roman. “Instincts.”

“Fight or flight, babe.” Roman let the pet name roll off his tongue, slow and sweet, and Deceit knew it was a pointed dig at him for the whole 'my dear' business.

“Fight or flight,” Virgil echoed, the ghost of a humorless smile crossing his face. 

It felt like Virgil's eyes were burning holes in Deceit’s skin. He shifted, the tiniest movement, and the arm Virgil had across his chest pressed harder. Virgil leaned closer, barely any space at all between their faces. “Don’t,” he warned in a low voice.

Deceit carefully, slowly tilted his head back against the wall, mentally resigning himself to his fate.

He didn’t regret what he had done. The smiles he had pulled from Virgil, the joy he had felt when they had spent time together was worth it. The pain, the anguish of his disguises, the consequences of being caught, those were less than ideal, but they didn’t make him regret anything.

Virgil gave a Deceit a significant look, as if daring him to move again, before turning away. “Roman, go back inside your room.”

Deceit tore his gaze from Virgil’s face. Roman was holding up his katana, faintly dismayed. “But I could-”

“No.”

“You might-”

“No.”

“I want-”

“Roman.”

“Alright, alright. I’m going.”

Deceit looked back to Virgil. He heard footsteps and then a door shut. Virgil closed his eyes for a long moment before he finally turned back.

“Sooo,” Deceit drew out the word, burying his unease, trying his best to exude cheekiness. “Are you going to pin me to the wall all day?” He pointedly looked down and then back up Virgil’s body, which was still mostly pressed against his own, keeping him from going anywhere. “Because I have better things to do, but I know Remus would love the attention.”

Virgil was just over an arm’s length away in a split second, moving like Deceit had burned him. Color appeared on Virgil’s cheeks, and he accused, “You were gonna sink out.” Deceit opened his mouth to argue, but Virgil cut him off, “Don’t deny it. I know you were. I saw it in your face.”

“What was I supposed to do?” Deceit demanded, gesturing indignantly with his arms. “Just stand here and…” He didn’t know what Virgil was going to do to him now, so he floundered for a way to end his question.

“I wasn’t -”

They heard something thump to the floor and turned to see Patton standing at the top of the stairs, mouth open, a bowl of something in his hand, and his fork on the floor. “Virgil?” He asked weakly, looking back and forth between the two of them with increasing speed. He practically oozed panic.

Logan suddenly appeared from his room with no explanation and silently ushered Patton back down the stairs, stopping first to pick up Patton’s fork. “Please talk loudly so I can continue to listen!” Logan called over his shoulder.

Deceit didn’t know if that was supposed to be a joke or if he was serious. He turned, vaguely alarmed, to Virgil, who was rolling his eyes.

“Let’s go in my room.” Virgil met Deceit’s unimpressed look with a shrewd one of his own. “Are you coming willingly or am I gonna have to make you?”

Pushing past him, Deceit made a displeased noise and didn’t say anything else. They were both silent until they stepped into Virgil’s room and the door was shut behind them.

Virgil crossed his arms, and Deceit scrambled to end the impending conversation before Virgil said something that would hurt more than a katana or a morning star ever could. “Alright, you caught me. I’ve been spying on you, deceiving you, et cetera, but my nefarious plans have been ruined. Tell me not to show my face – ah, presence,” Deceit amended hastily, when he realized what he had said, “around here anymore, and I’ll be out of your hair.”

Virgil’s frown deepened. “That's not-”

“Don’t do this,” Deceit spoke over him, hoping he didn’t sound like he was begging (because he was begging). “We don’t have to do this. Just tell me to go, and I’ll be on my way.”

“Deceit,” Virgil bit out sharply, and Deceit’s shoulders slumped. He looked away, not wanting to see the anger, the disgust, the hatred on Virgil’s face. There was silence for a heartbeat, and then Virgil’s voice grew softer. “I knew it was you.” Deceit started to protest, but Virgil wouldn’t have any of it. “I did! I knew when you first showed up to my room as Patton!”

A feeling Deceit couldn’t – wouldn’t – name blossomed somewhere behind his ribs. He looked up, more surprised than he had been in a long time to see Virgil’s little signature half-smile. “You… what?”

“I knew when you showed up as Logan after that. And today, I knew when I opened my door that it was you, not Roman.”

Deceit felt a little like a fish, with a gaping mouth and wide, shocked eyes. “Uh what?”

Virgil chuckled, hiding it behind his hand. “Dee,” he said softly, hesitantly, and Deceit wanted to reassure him, yes, you can call me that, please. “I spent my whole existence before like five months ago with you and Remus. How could I not know it was you? We practically grew up together.”

“And you’re not… ?”

“Mad?” Virgil shook his head, shoving his hands, which had been pulling on his jacket zipper, back into his pockets. “You were… I really…” He huffed out a frustrated breath that ruffled his bangs while he searched for the words. “We’re all parts of Thomas so we don’t – I mean we can’t really be best friends because we’re the same person but… you’re just…” He ducked his head, having lost his confidence somewhere around where he lost his articulation. His voice grew more and more hesitant. “You’re okay. I guess.”

He shrugged, risking a glance back up at Deceit, who couldn’t do more than stare back, still reeling that this was Virgil’s reaction to his deception.

“I’m over here with the others now, and I know we fight about how to help Thomas. We always did that, but it’s different now and it feels like we’re not on the same side.” He shook his head. “No, I mean, it feels like we’re not – like we’re on opposing sides. I don’t like some of the things you do, but…” He took a deep breath. “I still missed you. And I was glad you were coming around, even if you were pretending to be the others, because I didn’t… I didn’t know how to… I didn’t know if we were fighting or… I didn’t know how to fix us.”

Virgil buried his head in his hands, letting out a long groan. “Ugh gods, that was awful.” Seconds passed, the silence suffocating. Then, in a quieter voice, he begged, “Say something.”

Deceit resolutely refused to cry. If he started crying, Virgil would freak out and start crying too and then they’d be in an even worse mess of things.

He opened his mouth and then closed it. He cleared his throat. “Can I hug you?”

Virgil didn’t waste any time throwing himself at Deceit, burying his head into Deceit’s shoulder. “This is good. Now we don’t have to look at each other and we don’t have to talk to each other and we can just pretend nothing happened because hugging is understood to mean everything is fine and as long as we don’t move from here, we’ll never have to look at each other or talk to each other again and –”

“Virgil,” Deceit prompted him.

“Huh?”

“You’re still talking.”

“Oh.” Virgil groaned. “I guess I am.”

Virgil abruptly pulled back, and Deceit was halfway convinced he was going to make a run for it. “Are we okay?" Before Deceit could even open his mouth, Virgil was already plowing ahead. "That’s a stupid question, of course we’re not because how could this fix everything that’s gone wrong, but are we going to be okay? Are you going to keep coming back? Not disguised as the others but as –”

Deceit put a hand over Virgil’s mouth. “Do you want me around?”

Virgil nodded behind Deceit’s hand.

“Then that’s good enough for me.” Deceit couldn’t help but smile, before remembering to add, “I want you around too.” Deceit let his hand fall from Virgil’s mouth, and Virgil gave him a shy grin.

“I missed you,” Deceit admitted, partly because he knew Virgil would appreciate the reassurance after spilling his heart out and partly because he wanted Virgil to know. Because he had missed him, an awful lot.

Virgil looked happy, even if he was faintly embarrassed, as he ducked his head, playing with the strings of the hood on his jacket. “So… what now?”

Deceit shrugged.

"Movie?"

“Sure.”

Virgil walked over to his basket of DVDs. “What do you wanna watch?”

Deceit's answer came easily. “Anything you want.”

Virgil twisted to look over his shoulder. “You know,” he said gently, “You can pick what we do sometimes. I don’t mind.”

He replayed his response in his mind. Anything you want. It was a bit obvious, even for him. He felt his cheeks heat up, and he refused to meet Virgil’s gaze. “Horror movie?” he mumbled, just because he knew Virgil would reject the idea.

“Not happening.”

Deceit fought down a pleased feeling that threatened to drown him. It made him happy, that he still knew Virgil, still knew what he liked and didn’t like, his weird quirks and behaviors, even if some things had changed. “Peter Pan?”

“Yeah, alright.”

While Virgil put the movie in, Deceit busied himself with getting comfortable on Virgil’s bed. He arranged the pillows just so and summoned a blanket from his room.

When he looked back up, he found Virgil, chewing on the inside of his cheek, awkwardly standing at the edge of the bed. “Should I – or…?”

“Use your words,” Deceit teased, but only after he motioned for Virgil to sit right next to him.

“Fuck off,” Virgil grumbled without any real malice, carefully burrowing into his side.

Deceit slowly laid an arm on Virgil’s shoulders as he laid his head over Deceit’s ribs. His breath caught at the tenderness of holding him.

“Hey,” Deceit whispered hoarsely, feeling tears prick at his eyes when Virgil turned to look up at him. He didn’t say anything else because he couldn’t find the words. He hoped Virgil could see what he was trying to say, could see what he was feeling somehow.

Virgil sighed and laid his head back on Deceit’s chest. “Don’t go getting emotional on me.”

Somehow, Deceit knew Virgil understood. Neither of them were the best with words, but laying there together, they knew.

The movie played on. When the Darling children finally arrived in Neverland, Deceit was suddenly struck by a thought.

“How did you know it was me?”

“Hmm?”

Deceit rolled his eyes, nudging Virgil, drawing his attention away from the movie. “How did you know it was me and not Roman or Logan or Patton?”

“I’m not revealing your tells. Now shut up.”

“Virrrgillll,” Deceit whined, but Virgil wasn’t moved.

“You’re missing the pirates. Be. Quiet.”

Virgil started tracing little meaningless shapes across Deceit’s side, and he considered that sufficient compensation for letting the subject go.

Notes:

So how did Virgil know it was Deceit? It's all about making an entrance!

I imagine that Deceit is one of those people that knocks but still comes in anyway. Remus is more the type to just burst right in. Virgil is the type to either burst in or knock and wait, depending on the situation and how well he knows you. Roman and Patton just burst in, and Logan knocks but just walks in (like Deceit).

But Deceit mistakenly assumes the light sides always knock and wait so that’s what he does when he’s pretending to be them!

BONUS (?): Virgil knew all along that it was Deceit, and if you reread the first two short chapters, you can see Virgil being soft when he's interacting with Deceit!