Work Text:
“Until next time, guys, gals, and nonbinary pals. Peace out!”
Thomas smiled as he turned off the camera. His Sides had already left, and, honestly, it had been a fairly productive and positive conversation. All he had to do now was prepare the video for uploading.
“Thomas.”
Thomas was not ashamed to admit he’d jumped at the unexpected voice. He turned to see Deceit stepping out from the shadows beside Patton’s space.
Ah. His Sides, excluding Deceit, had already left.
“Hey - I thought you sunk out a while ago?” It was more the unexpected voice than Deceit himself that had startled him. After all, Deceit had been attending their discussions a lot more lately. Even when he admitted he held no stake in the topic, he would hang around and only occasionally interject. Sometimes, when discussion got too overwhelming, Deceit would briefly silence everyone and ask Thomas who was allowed to talk first (”...how about everyone?! Deceit!”). Despite his concern for Deceit’s methods, he appreciated the sentiment and it had proven helpful for the especially tense moments. Somewhere along the way, Thomas had realized that, while he didn’t enjoy deceit, he had come to accept Deceit and that idea didn’t scare him at all.
“I had considered it.” Deceit was actually in his living room right now, he had to focus on that. The Side was conspicuously studying his fingernails through his gloves. “I wanted a moment of relative privacy, however, and post-recording seemed ideal.”
“I - I guess, yeah.” He could almost feel the others settling in to relax, barely attentive to Thomas himself. The two of them would be left alone. Why did Deceit want them to be left alone? Only idle curiosity accompanied the question much to his surprise. “What’s up?”
“I wished to talk.” Deceit paused. “It is important you specifically knew that and not at all a stall tactic.” Ah. Thomas waved Deceit over and, without the invisible walls made by the camera, Deceit was able to follow Thomas to the couch. He refused to sit though, even when Thomas patted the space beside him.
“Alright. So now I know.” Was he helping Deceit get more time to be comfortable with whatever he was planning? Was he subtly calling him out? Thomas wasn’t sure himself. Deceit had a habit of seeing the worst in others so, in case he’d assumed the latter, Thomas added, “So, uh, pretty curious what you want to talk about. Just take your time - we both know I have nothing planned for the rest of the day except watching The Office.” At that, Deceit snorted.
“I am quite aware.” The tone was harsh, but the human corner of his lip was upturned in a smile. He glanced around. He took a deep breath. He scratched behind his ear. He dropped his gaze to the carpet. He exhaled, the air coming out in a soft hiss.
Deceit’s nervous. Now, Thomas’ curiosity morphed into concern. While Patton and Roman especially hid their insecurities and uncertainties, Deceit always projected confidence that whatever he had to say was important and he deserved to be heard. What could leave him hemming and hawing? Thomas himself debated whether or not to speak up when Deceit fully looked away.
“On reflection, it’s hardly worth the breath required to speak it.” Deceit’s voice had grown hard with an edge of condescension, and Thomas’ gut tightened. It wasn’t the tone, though. He could tell: Deceit was actively lying to himself and to Thomas. “I have better things to tend to. Enjoy your show.” Deceit began to sink, and Thomas reached out, stumbling from his seat. The action seemed to catch his Side’s attention and he rose back up, hands raised. In defense, in surrender, or in case Thomas actually fell, it wasn’t clear. Thomas took a moment to regain his balance, feeling Deceit’s incredulous gaze on him. Yes, yes, he was being weird.
“Look, if you think it’s important, I do too. That’s how this works. If you’re not ready, that’s okay, but I can tell it’s important.” Deceit scowled.
“I am quite ready, thank you.” Oh. That sort of backfired, didn’t it. Deceit seemed to realize the trick he’d played on himself and rubbed underneath his human eye. He took another breath and, this time, began talking. “Well. I have been considering that, as of late, you seem to be ... viewing me differently.”
“I mean, I guess so.”
“You recognize that our appearances, in a large part, dictated by your personal views.” Thomas cringed at that.
“I - I never really thought about that.” He looked at Deceit, gaze resting on the scales that marred his face. The implication settled in and tinged his next words with horror. “Am I - that’s why-?”
“-you see me as a ‘slimy boy’? Correct.” Deceit didn’t sound as bitter as Thomas expected, but he swore something cold tinged the words. “That said, as your views seem to have changed-” Thomas swore he didn’t blink; Deceit simply transformed that fast. Gone were the scales, the slit pupil, even the capelet and yellow gloves. Deceit’s clothes now more resembled what he had worn in the courtroom, the yellow shirt’s hue turned pastel and long white gloves covering his hands. He tilted the bowler hat back to better expose his face and the pale patchiness on its left side. Both human eyes met Thomas’, and his lips curled up in a small smile. “Well, it appears now my true appearance can change as well.”
Thomas couldn’t respond verbally, only able to step back to better view the new look. He had never seen a Side change so drastically while still being, well, himself. It was as if Deceit had left altogether - wait, he hadn’t, right?
“Deceit?”
“Who’s she? Never heard of her.” The familiar retort confirmed that at least.
“Right, right. Just wasn’t expecting this.” He had to take another moment to study Deceit, who seemed to be relaxing under his gaze.
“What can I say?” Deceit twirled, showing off the new look, and Thomas caught sight of coattails as he did. Relief relaxed his shoulders. That was a weird reaction. Relief? “I’ve heard surprise is the greatest gift you can give someone. It was something like that. I think Remus remembers the full expression.”
“Huh. Wouldn’t expect Remus to know that.”
“Yes, well, he’s picked up all sorts of quotes about surprises and shock. They help him think more ... coherently.” Was that implying Remus could be worse? Yikes. Thomas decided to not think about it, lest he summon the Side accidentally.
“Got it. So,” Thomas said, gesturing at Deceit, “this is you?”
“I thought we just established I am me.”
“I mean, your true form.”
“That’s one way to describe it.” Deceit was checking a pocket on the suit jacket and pulled out a couple of black markers. “Oh, I was wondering where I’d left those.” Thomas nodded in thought. He had to admit, he liked Deceit’s new appearance. It just seemed more open and inviting and, though he could be imagining it, seemed to make Deceit himself more open. So what was bugging him about it? Why did it seem... dis-relieving? “Well, Thomas,” he said, pocketing the markers again, “since you seem to approve, I won’t be going anywhere - I’m obviously still needed here, you see.” Deceit clasped his hands together. Wait. Deceit began to sink out once more. Wait, wait.
“Wait a minute.” Thomas rubbed at his eyes. He thought he saw a flash of frustration cross Deceit’s face as he rose back up, but his expression was neutral when Thomas looked again. “Just, I need a moment. Hang on.” Thomas stepped back until he fell upon his couch. Deceit made no move to follow. “What do you mean, ‘I seem to approve’?”
“I would think it means exactly what it sounds like. I know that you know what words mean.”
“That’s not an answer.” Thomas mentally rewound their conversation as he kept talking. “I - you never actually answered my questions. They sounded like answers, but they really weren’t.”
“Hm. It sounds like Virgil’s acting up. I know he seemed fine when he left, but-”
“Deceit. This isn’t Virgil. We know that.” Thomas made eye contact with Deceit. “I just - is this really you?”
“I can hardly imagine anyone who’d want to imitate me.”
“That’s not-” Thomas groaned. “Deceit, is - is this what you want to look like, or is it what I want you to look like?” It hadn’t been the most eloquent phrasing, but it seemed to make his point.
He received no answer.
Deceit seemed unwilling to break eye contact, keeping his face emotionless, but that was a sort of answer in and of itself. Thomas felt his shoulders sag.
“...do you like it?”
“Of course.”
“Because I like it?” Again, Thomas received no response. He broke eye contact to lower his face into his hands. “Crud.” He sighed. “Is.... what is this?”
“It certainly wasn’t a waste of time and energy” Deceit's voice took on a sharp edge. Oh boy. “It’s not like it hasn’t been repeatedly made obvious how repellent you’ve found virtually every aspect of my appearance.” It sounded like Deceit had taken a few steps away. “Besides, why is it any different than, say, the others changing their appearances? Because I ever-so-clearly recall you questioning their changes like this.”
“Because they wanted to. They didn’t change because I wanted them to, or they thought I wanted them to.” He looked up and, as expected, Deceit was adamantly refusing to look his way, arms crossed over his chest. “So I’m not a big fan of snakes or bright yellow. I’m also not a big fan of spiders, and Virgil decorates his room in them. He’s even got a pet tarantula, I think. And it makes him happy. You know the things I want deep down, right?” Deceit seemed to be looking at the floor now. “Then you know what I really want is for every part of me to be happy. I don’t want you squishing yourself into something you don’t like because you think it’ll make me happy. I was kinda hoping none of us had to do that anymore.” Thomas let the words hang in the air as he watched Deceit for a response. Finally, Deceit scratched behind his ear and spoke.
“Just so we’re clear: if you don’t accept now, then I won’t lock in and this will be the last time you see anything like this from me, voluntarily.”
“Alright.”
“I do mean it. You’ll be stuck with a half-snake Side for the rest of your days.”
“I know.”
Again, Deceit’s appearance changed as he turned to face Thomas again. Thomas blinked as he realized Deceit hadn’t quite reverted to his previous form: most noteworthy, his capelet had taken on a slight purple tinge and his visible scales were now a warm shade of yellow with viridian speckling - almost like freckles, Thomas decided.
“Consider this your last chance.”
“Deceit, I wouldn’t want to imagine you any other way.”
The human corner of Deceit’s lips twitched upwards in an asymmetrical smile.
“Well, Thomas, as you insist.” Deceit then seemed to notice the slight changes and took a moment to examine himself, tugging at the capelet and peeking underneath his gloves before ending with a mildly confused ‘huh’. Thomas shrugged, grinning.
“Well, you did say I influence how you look. Do you like it?”
“...I lo- like it, maybe. I suppose I can learn to like it.” He looked back to Thomas. Thomas had to focus to notice the slight signs of unease and wondered for their reason. “I suppose then I should be going - I mean, I plan to stick around.” Then it clicked: Deceit had thought he was doing him a favor, only to realize he’d just stressed him out more. No wonder he now almost seemed pressured to sink out. Before Deceit could vanish, Thomas spoke up for the third time.
“Uh, hang on.”
“I swear, you can be-”
“Wanna watch The Office with me?” Thomas again patted the empty space beside him. Deceit blinked.
“You do know we are at least somewhat aware of what goes on out here. I hardly need-”
“I know, but I wouldn’t mind some good company while I watch.” Thomas worked very hard to bite down a laugh as the human side of Deceit’s face blushed. “So, you in?”
“...I suppose I can take the time out of my very busy schedule for an episode or two.” Finally, Deceit closed the gap between them and sat down next to Thomas.
“So - are we gonna start from the first one and go in order, or skip around to the best ones?”
“....let’s skip around.”