Chapter Text
It was a bit of a funny feeling, to be back in Brian’s office.
He could remember the first time he had walked in there, nervous and jet- lagged, silently repeating carefully prepared phrases, feeling a tight knot in his stomach and a lump in his throat. There were so many memories connected with that little cluttered room, and Javi couldn’t stop a nostalgic smile from appearing on his lips as he looked around, gaze skimming through familiar walls, covered with even more certificates and notes and pictures than during his last visit.
“I hope I still remember how you like it.” Brian chuckled, putting a mug of coffee in front of Javi, that piece of blue faience he had held so many times.
“Coffee is coffee, and always saves my life.” Javi grinned, taking a sip and then leaning back in his chair, looking around once again “Not much changed in here, I see.”
“Just more papers and more greys on my head.” Brian joked, sitting down in his armchair and letting out a quiet sigh “So great to see you, Javi.”
“You know you will have on your head anytime I come to Canada, right?”
“Well I hope so. Don’t you ever dare to play a stranger, Javi.”
Javi smiled at that, and looked down at the mug in his hands, enjoying warmth seeping into his skin, and the funny feeling inside him turned into a bit of nostalgia. How many times had he been sitting there, discussing plans for next season, listening to Brian’s scolding or laughing while catching up after vacation? Sometimes it felt like something from decades ago, but in moments like that it felt like mere weeks, memories carved in Javi’s heart, all of good and all of bad.
“You miss it?”
Javi blinked and looked at Brian, smiling sheepishly when he realized he drifted away for a moment.
“I do.” he admitted “Competing, and being here. And all of you guys.”
“We all miss you too.” Brian said with a gentle smile and Javi nodded silently, letting Brian continue.
“So, Javi, what now? Some vacation?”
“I don’t have plans, really. Thought I could laze at home for a week or so, then I will have some responsibilities around worlds, you know the drill.”
Brian nodded, his eyes searching Javi’s face thoughtfully, as if he was wondering about something, and Javi narrowed his eyes, sending him a smile.
“I know this look.” he said and Brian laughed shortly, shaking his head.
“I wonder from where.”
“Like you’re about to propose me something you are not sureif I will like it.” Javi said, half- serious and half- joking, but he seemed to hit it spot on, because Brian sighed deeply, leaning back in his chair, his gaze turning a bit more serious.
“Oho.” Javi said, putting the mug on the table and folding his arms in a bit of mocking gesture “I’m listening.”
“Just… I’m not sure if it’s a good idea, but it’s the only idea we have.”
“That’s not telling me much.” Javi said, feeling both intrigued and confused; he wondered if Brian was going to offer him a job again and his heart clenched painfully as he quickly prepared himself to decline, but then Brian spoke again, and Javi forgot all about work offers.
“Yuzuru needs to go for some vacation, and we thought that you could go with him.”
Javi stared at Brian, slowly digesting his words. And then, he laughed.
“Yeah, I don’t- what the heck, Brian? This is a funny joke, I admit, but-” he bit his tongue when he saw that his former coach didn’t smile, the frown on his face deepening, and Javi took a deep breath, realizing that maybe it wasn’t a joke.
“Okay.” he sighed “What’s going on?”
“It’s just something we came up with. He’s in a good shape physically, like really good, but you know how he gets. At this point he does whatever he wants during training, and I’m afraid he will just overwork himself. It’s over a month till worlds and I need him to catch a breath, and stay away from the ice, just for a few days.”
“Okay, I get it, but I can’t believe he will say yes to that, that’s so not like him.”
“Actually, he agreed already.” Brian said and Javi gaped, surprised.
“That’s… unexpected.”
“Not really.” Brian said, and his eyes darted aside, as if he was a bit uncomfortable about what he was going to say “I mean, he wasn’t happy, and it took some convincing from us and his mother, but… I guess he realizes that it’s sometimes needed, a break. You know, Javi… it’s more about his head than about his body.”
“His head.” Javi nodded absently, recalling all those seasons together, and the way Yuzuru acted when some big competition was nearing, restless and ignoring the world, caught up in the run against himself.
“I guess… I mean-” he sighed deeply, rubbing his face “When the unexpected vacation would take place, and where? And Brian, why the hell do you think I’m the best person for that?”
That was something Javi couldn’t quite get. From all the people, Brian knew best how his relationship with Yuzuru looked like, how complicated and fragile and unusual it was. They never really hang out like great friends some people claimed they were, they never really texted except for birthday wishes, congratulation messages or occasional what’s up texts, and now Brian wanted them to spend a few days together, alone? It was making Javi feel weird, long suppressed emotions coming back, whispering into his ear and making his skin itch with something that felt not only like confusion and doubt, but also wonder and excitement, and he winced, shaking his head to look at Brian again, waiting for an answer.
“Well if you could start tomorrow it would be great.” the coach said and he definitely wasn’t joking “We thought about a cabin Tracy’s cousin owns, it’s a really nice place for what I’ve heard, and not super far-”
“Brian.” Javi said blankly and the older man sighed, putting his elbows on the desk and leaning forward a little.
“Javi, I know that this is- that this is unexpected, and odd, and believe me, the last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable. So if anything- look, we talked about it with the team and mrs Hanyu, and you were the only person we could think of.”
“Really.”
“Mrs Hanyu is an amazing woman, and God knows she’s the most devoted mother, but she needs a break also, and she can’t really- well, he’s not a little boy anymore.”
“You don’t say.” Javi snorted and Brian rolled his eyes.
“Thank you for this necessary comment.” he said flatly before clearing his throat and looking Javi in the eyes, his expression turning soft and nostalgic “It’s just…”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t think anyone can understand him better than you. And that’s what he needs the most right now.”
Javi gulped, feeling his throat clenching around that invisible lump, and there was something weird in his chest, a bit of pressure, a bit of emptiness, odd fluttering of his heart.
He was afraid that Brian was right, and that thought was making him feel strangely vulnerable, and suddenly all he could think about was Yuzuru, his voice tight, I can’t do it without you , and fear that it was true, and maybe all Javi could do was to agree.
“Javi?”
“Fine.” Javi said, hoping that the storm raging inside of him wasn’t visible on his face “I’ll do it.”
“You sure? Because if it makes you uncomfortable-”
“We will be okay.” Javi said, swallowing hard, and Brian seemed like he regretted bringing that whole thing up.
“Ja-”
“Don’t worry.” Javi sighed, bringing the mug to his lips and ducking his head in an attempt to hide his traitorous expression “Actually, this… is not the worst idea.”
“Really?” Brian asked, surprised, and Javi laughed, short and breathless.
“I just… I guess I miss him too.”