Chapter Text
All she knows is pain, and the light feeling in her body. Like she was floating around in nothingness, all dark, black, without a hint of any light coming through. She hears voices, they speak to her, asking her questions she cannot answer, begging her for things she cannot do, if she could wake up, she would. If she could answer her sobbing brother, she would. But she cannot. There is barely anything holding her in this world any longer, nothing to keep her tethered to a world that had wronged her so brutally.
Then a different voice joins the others, calling her name. Such a familiar voices, one she could almost place, but when she begins to recall, there is nothing but pain in her heart, this voice, one that she cannot place, doesn’t know, but knows there is pain in her heart when she hears it, as though he had done something terrible.
She feels his hands on her hair, on her face and her hands. Begging, in a tone, she could never imagine he would speak to her in, she feels his lips on her forehead, whispering softly and crying, she knows this, she feels the wetness fall onto her face.
She can’t remember how long she had been floating in the darkness, awake, but not quite. She knows he sits beside her, for hours it feels like, but she knows of the other woman who comes into the room, begging him to come back to her. Yet he refuses, screams at her to leave, that this was their space, she had no right to be here. But she cannot place a face to the voice
She doesn’t know what time it is if it is morning or night when she opens her eyes. The drapes are closed across the window, this is her room, the bed is warm. Soft. Home. She flinches at the sound of the door opening, wishing for a moment that this was a dream, that she was truly dead and she couldn’t have to face whoever had come into her room. The drapes are also pulled across her bed, to keep her hidden? Or to keep those who were not welcome out?
A familiar sound of a child’s giggle, her daughter is here, that is good. Hopefully, she was being cared for,
“Rhaenys?”
She almost doesn’t recognise her own voice, hoarse, as though she hadn’t drunk in years, it hurt almost, to speak. Her throat felt as though someone had taken a dagger to it, or as though their hands had been wrapped too tightly around it, as though someone had tried to kill her.
Her voice startles those in the room, she feels it, the stillness and then there is a burst of light, as the drapes are ripped open by a tall figure, she couldn’t clearly see the face. Why was he here? Her heart beat faster than she thought possible. Then he is falling to his knees beside her, reaching for her, crying and asking her how she’s feeling, when had she woken up, does she need anything? On and on the questions wash over her, and there is a familiarity here. But there is nothing, no remembrance of the man that falls to his knees beside her, crying and clutching her hand. Pushing her hair away from her face, pressing his lips to her hand.
She couldn’t open to mouth to speak again, but as though he knew what it was she wanted, there was a cup at her mouth and sweetness filled her mouth, soothed her throat, washed away the dryness. This went on for a moment, before another figure appeared beside him, smaller, but no less familiar.
“Mother, you’re awake!”
Both sit at her bedside, watching her, waiting for her to say something. He was still crying, wiping the tears away before more fell into their place, his hand had found her own and held onto it with a strength she herself did not possess. Here were the voices calling to her, but she felt as though something was missing and though she wanted to ask, there was something beautiful at this moment. A stillness, peace, that she didn’t want to break.
But something causes her confusion, why did Rhaenys look so much older, than when she had last seen here? Why was he older too? How long had she been asleep? She remembered nothing, but her daughter looked almost ten years old, but she had been only a year old the last time she saw her.
“You look confused Elia, what is wrong? The maester said you would be disoriented, but you look as though you have seen a ghost?”
He spoke to her with a kind voice, he called her by name, yet she did not know his. Was he a knight? Sent to protect her from some danger she could no longer recall? Her daughter was comfortable with him, leaning onto him. Yet, she could not recall there ever being a knight like this on here, in Dorne.
“I’m sorry, but do I know you?”
There is nothing on his face, blank with shock? Sadness? She isn’t sure, but he is so beautiful and sad, that it makes her sad looking at him. She doesn’t want to look at someone who seems so sad, sitting beside her, but then there is emotion there, his eyes are full of pain she realises. Had she done something to him?
“Elia, do you not know who I am?”
His voice breaks at the question he asks, more tears falling to join the others until he can barely speak from the sobs that rush out of his mouth, words come out but she cannot hear them through the heavy breaths he heaves.
“Mother? Don’t you recognise father?”
Father? She doesn’t recall the man that gave her the gift of her daughter, only a painful thud in her heart when she tried to remember, but her daughter looks sad. Staring at her with her beautiful dark purple eyes, confusion swirls in them.
There are more voices at the door, a woman's voice and another. She cannot hear them clearly, only muffled. They sound as though they are arguing, but the man sitting beside her is angry, she can feel it in the way her hand is grasped too tightly. The way that hand trembles, the way he stops crying so abruptly then he is standing, letting go of her hand and walking away from her. The only thing she hears is the door being thrown open, the sound of yelling. He sounds angry, but if Rhaenys called him father, then did she now also know this sad, beautiful strange man?
Her daughter is still sitting beside her, moving into the place where he had been previously, resting her hand in her mothers, playing with her fingers and smiling whenever she noticed Elia looking at her, there was a sense of peace here, one that she wished would last forever. But she could still hear the stranger yelling, at who she couldn't say, but it would have to be the woman, that is the voice yelling back. She wonders, who walls could be so thick, you couldn't hear anything, yet not thick enough to block the tones of voice. It was the same woman, that had come into this room, once, when she was still floating. The begging woman.
She felt almost pity for the woman, but there is a voice in the back of her mind, telling her she should feel no pity for this women, this woman had wronged her. But how could someone she didn't even know, have wronged her? Those are the thoughts running around her head, when he returns, this time, with another man, older and wearing robes. He must be the maester, but one she herself didn't know.
He pokes and probs at her, asking her questions, what time was it, the year and on and on he spoke and she wanted nothing more than to send him away, but who was she to send someone away? He says that there is nothing wrong with her, she looks fine, but she has forgotten things, he says this is normal, that she would remember in time, it is a miracle that she had not passed away.
It is during this examination, another woman entered the room. She was young, angry, and she stood there glaring at them, Elia didn't know her, but there was something screaming now in her head, this was not someone she wanted around her, she wanted her gone. Both men noticed her discomfort, but it is the look on the man whom Rhaenys calls father, that looks so angry. His eyes darken, as he spins around, just the look in his eyes sends the woman running from the room. Good. Elia didn't want her here, something that looked so angry.
She is soon left alone once again with the stranger, Rhaenys having left for her lessons, with a kiss for her mother and one for the man she called father. Elia couldn't remember him, who was he to her, that Rhaenys would feel so comfortable to kiss him and leave. He had pulled a chair to her bedside now, where he sits looking towards the window, where the drapes have now been pulled open to expose a beautiful blue sky and a cooling breeze.
"You are my wife."
Her head snaps over to him in surprise, his wife? She had never married, especially not to someone who looked so beautiful. There were no men like this in Dorne, his skin was not sunkissed, his hair not dark like hers, instead, he looked like he had never been out in the sun, his hair looked like the moon. His eyes were beautiful, they were lighter than the eyes Rhaenys had, they glittered like Amethyst.
"We are married with a beautiful daughter and a son."
"A son?"
"You do not remember him?"
She shakes her head, there is so much she doesn't understand, how could she have two children, when birthing Rhaenys had almost killed her? She looks around the room, it was decorated in reds and oranges, sheets of silk hanging from the walls, but this was not her bedroom, not the one she had in Dorne. With its huge windows and white walls, covered in layers of fabrics gifted to her from Oberyn from his travels.
"You do not remember how you came to be here either?"
Again she shakes her head, there is nothing for her to say. How could she trust the word of a stranger? He could be a thief or a murderer. Maybe he had kidnapped her and Rhaenys, was holding them for ransom.
"Your brother, Oberyn, will be here tomorrow."
"I will be glad to see him."
"Ah, she speaks." There is teasing in his tone.
"Who is she? The woman that came in here, the one you yelled at?"
Now he looks uncomfortable, turning his head to look at her, "A mistake." He says nothing else, just going back to watching the sky. Why would he say that? Was she send here for a reason and now he regretted it? But it was none of her business. If he wanted to keep his secrets, then she would not ask him to give her answers. They sit like this for an age, the only sound is of the birds singing outside, his breath and hers. She closes her eyes, breathing deeply, wanting nothing but peace. A knock sounds on the door, the sigh he lets out is heavy.
"There is no peace."
He calls for them to enter, and she is met by three children, two boys and a girl. All three look sheepish, but it is the girl that breaks into a beautiful smile before rushing in and towards her, "Sister Elia! You're awake!" She sounds so happy, when she reaches her side, the stranger gives her a soft smile, placing his hand on her head. They look so similar, they must be related, they have the same eyes, the same hair and skin tone. They are similar to one of the young boys that stand at the door, could one of them be her son? But why are there three children? The other boys look identical to the woman that had fled earlier, could this be her son? It had to be.
"Rhaenys said you were awake, so I had to come and see you!"
She smiles at the young girl, she shines so brightly, Elia reaches over and pats her head, something she would do to her own daughter. The girl, in turn, tries to lift herself onto the bed, failing to do so, until the stranger lifts her up himself.
"Rhaegar, why aren't you sitting with Sister?"
Rhaegar, so that is the name of the stranger who had barely left her side today. It was a beautiful name, suited to a beautiful man. The girl makes herself comfortable bedside her before the two boys still stood in the doorway made their way over. They didn't rush as the girl had, but they looked just as happy to see she was awake as everyone else had, the little blonde one must be her son? He looked at her with the same Amathyst eyes as Rhaegar, but there was none of the sadness that seemed to have been in his eyes all day. This boy was beautiful and bright, like sunshine on a rainy day.
The other boy was different, the sadness that was not in the sunshine boys eyes, seemed to have made its way in this ones instead, what a shame, he was such a lovely child to look at, his grey eyes, his dark hair and pale skin. No resemblance between any of them, but why was he here? Who was this other child to her, when he looked just like the woman that had fled some hours ago? Neither tried to climb into the bed with her as the girl had. Instead, they stood staring between her and Rhaegar, as though waiting for something to be announced, told to them.
"Is Princess Elia feeling better now?" the question came from the grey-eyed boy, staring at Rhaegar.
"Queen." It was said with a slight tone of anger, Elia wished he wouldn't speak to the voice in such a tone, she was a Princess, she was no Queen.
"Mother said Princess Elia wasn't Queen anymore, because she wasn't waking up."
"Well, your mother was wrong!" This time, it came from the girl, who looked angry and Elia was sure if it hadn't been confirmed earlier, that she was Rhaegar's sister. The same anger was in her eyes, as had been in his earlier. It did not suit such a pretty girl, she decided and brushed her fingers over the girl's forehead. Calming her, before looking to Rhaegar, yes, the anger had come back now, not as loud though.
"I will speak with your mother about this later Jon, now we sit as a family."
Jon bowed his head, Elia was curious about him, he was a lovely child. Much like her Rhaenys, and maybe like her son? She would get to know all of them if they were family. Her brother would be here soon and maybe he could explain in the blunt way he explained everything else. She could feel Rhaegar's eyes on her, but she kept her focus on the children, wanting to know their names.
"What are your names?"
"I am Daenerys, but you call me Dany." A suitable name, for the Princess that had married the Prince of Dorne, Elia remember the portrait of the Princess that hung in the hall of Sunspear. A pretty woman, aptly named for this younger Princess.
"Rhaeyns said you didn't remember anything."
"It will come back to me."
"I am Aegon, and this is Jon!"
Both boys pulled themselves closer to her at their introduction. Both peering up at her, looking for something, she wasn't sure. It didn't make her uncomfortable, as though she had been through this before, surrounded by children and this man, who was her husband. In the end, they both climbed up next to her, maybe this was something they had done often? Before the memories had disappeared and she wondered if she would make new memories, if she was unable to remember. It was quiet now, Rhaegar sat still in his chair, the children sat with her, the only one missing was her daughter, then she decided, everything would be complete.
They must have sat there for hours until the children fell asleep and were taken away to their own rooms. Food was brought and eaten, and still, Rhaegar didn't leave, he only sat beside her and read, sometimes out loud, but mostly whatever it was he was reading, he kept it to himself. She wondered if he would leave her alone at some point, or if he meant to stay in that chair the rest of the night, it would not be comfortable.
"Will you tell me about our marriage?"
A look of discomfort came across his face, "I'm afraid I was not the best husband," at this point, he had put the book he was reading down, "I would not want you to think differently of me when I have worked so hard to gain your trust back." Instead of facing away from her in the chair, he turned both around to face her.
"What did you do, that was so terrible?"
She was curious, he looked sad, but she was sure that wasn't unusual, that he must always look sad. Had he done something terrible, to her or to someone else? Was she to blame but he only wanted to blame himself, she had so many questions and yet, felt as though she couldn't say anything, without his look of sadness turning into something else. They sat together for a short while, he didn't say anything, only looked like he was thinking of what he should say.
"I became infatuated with a prophecy, about dragons and the dead coming back to life," he ran his hand through his hair, "You knew about it, but, you didn't want anything to do with it and now I wish that I had listened to you and stopped looking, stopped asking. But I was so convinced that it was true, I got you with child, far quicker than I should have and you almost died. Bringing Aegon into the world. It wasn't enough and still, I wanted more from you, even when I was told you would carry no more children, that it would kill you, instead, I looked for another. The Dragon must have three heads, Aegon and his sisters reborn. I was so driven by this prophecy, that I took another woman to wife, for my Visenya to be born."
Elia knew then, that's why the woman had been there, waiting for him, "Had I done something wrong? Is it not my duty to give you another child?" she was confused, most men would have gotten their wife with child, even at the risk of the wife's life, for another child, a son.
"Not with the risk of your life. I love you, it is why I did what I did. So that when it was all over, it was you there, waiting for me."
"But you married someone else?"
"It is not a marriage recognised by the Faith, nor by our people. A union that brought so much pain, death and loss."
"Then, that woman, the one who ran away earlier. Is she the one you took as a bride?"
He looked away from her this time, his eyes had been on her the entire time, but now he looked away, as though this was the only thing he had shame for, that woman still being here and living amongst her own children, "Yes, and I was wrong." He stood and walked towards the window, the blue sky had given way to an orange one, the sun setting low to bring a new day. Another day of not remembering. He closed the drapes across the window, before looking back at her, she was surprised to see the look of sadness had increased and it shocked her.
"I always thought, that the child must come from the same father, but I was wrong. it was not another child of my own that I needed. My mother brought Daenerys into the world, and there she was, my third head of the Dragon and still my mistakes loomed amongst us. I love my son, make no mistake, but if I could have him and not her, I would give anything to just have him. She is not the woman that I thought she was."
Elia sat looking at him, "Jon is a lovely child, I enjoyed his company earlier." This seemed to make him happy, "All of the children are." She relaxed back into the pillows, it was late now.
"I shall leave you to your rest, may I come back tomorrow?"
She agreed before he left, with a kiss to her head and a promise to come and see her in the morning, with the children. It was so quiet now, even when he had been sat there, the sound of his page-turning and it was comfortable. She hoped tomorrow would giver her more chances to get to know the children and ask them questions.