Work Text:
There’s heat behind Jesse when Joey steps closer, looping his arms around his waist, resting his hands on Jesse’s belt buckle. Jesse watches the black strip of leather slide through the silver loop and his stomach flip-flops. Why does it feel so damn intimate?
“Don’t look.”
“How am I supposed to aim if I don’t look?”
This isn’t how Jesse pictured Joey touching him - not that he ever pictured it. The whole thing is supposed to be strictly perfunctory, purely platonic, and on an entirely friends-only basis. And it is. If anyone asks, this is just one friend doing another friend a favor. Maybe more than one.
“I don’t know.” Jesse does his best to sound nonplussed. “Maybe this was a bad idea.”
The toilet in front of them has never looked closer to a porcelain she-devil. He’d call the whole thing off if both his arms weren’t broken and he hadn’t just sucked up two beers in a row through a bendy straw. Nature calls.
“What are you going to do, wear a diaper?”
“Me?” Jesse says defensively. “You’re the baby. You’ve got Ninja Turtle slippers and you sleep with a Scooby-doo night-light on!”
“Yeah? Well at least I don’t pee as often as a kindergartner.”
“You know what? Just forget it, I don’t have to go anymore.”
“Oh come on.” Joey’s voice softens. “I’m sorry Jess, I was just kidding.”
There’s a pause in the conversation where Jesse wonders if Joey is going to give up and go. He doesn’t.
“Do you want me to get Danny?”
“No, more than enough men have seen me for one day, thank you.” Jesse sighs, eyes on the wall, the floor, the ceiling. “Can we just get this over with already?”
“Okay, if you’re sure.”
Jesse steels himself as Joey unbuttons his pants and pulls down the zipper. The sound echoes in the tiny tiled room. Jesse almost flinches when they slide down his thighs and settle around his ankles.
“Wow, I remember these!”
This wasn’t what Jesse had in mind when he put on the cheetah print underwear this morning. Joey hooks a finger in the elastic waistband and pulls it down a little, exposing Jesse’s skin to the chill bathroom air.
“Jess, there’s no easy way to go about this. I’m gonna have to touch your -”
“Don’t say it!” Jesse snaps. “And no more talking! It’s hard enough to concentrate as it is.”
“Sorry. Do you want me to run the sink?”
“What? Run the sink? Why would I need you to - no, I don’t need you to do anything other than aim and shut the hell up.”
“Okay, you’re the boss. Nooo talking. Got it. Zero words. Zilch. Nada. Ixnay on the ordsway!”
“Actually, you know what, yes. Just run the sink. Anything’s better than being stuck listening to you talk about how you’re gonna stop talking.”
“My lips are sealed.”
Joey pretends to zip his lips shut and Jesse finally has a chance to focus. The faucet squeaks, and the sound of running water swallows everything else. Joey’s hands are soft and warm. Jesse sighs and his shoulders relax when he’s finally able to relieve himself.
It’s over in thirty seconds flat and Jesse’s back in his pants in forty-five.
“Thanks,” Jesse mutters awkwardly.
“It’s really no problem. If I have to hold another man while he tinkles, I’d rather it be you.”
Joey claps an arm around his shoulders and Jesse shrugs out of the touch.
“Right. That’s maybe something not to say out loud.”
“Fine.” Joey wags a finger. “But no more drinking after ten.”