Chapter Text
There were a lot of things that Alex could imagine with little difficulty, especially when it came to Henry: waking up next to him every morning, asking Henry to marry him, being married to him. The fantasies helped get him through the thick of finals and long meetings at the campaign office. There were so many things that Alex could picture doing with Henry––he was pretty sure that he had been through each one at least twice now. So, when something happened (or, more accurately, when something didn't happen) that Alex had never imagined, he had absolutely no idea how to deal with it. There was no protocol for this kind of thing, no list with explicit steps to follow. There was nothing but hurt and disappointment and anger.
After waiting for two hours at the restaurant, he decided to give up and go back to the brownstone. HRH Prince Henry of Dodging Phone Calls wasn't home yet, so Alex sat on their over-sized arm chair and anxiously awaited his arrival. Unfortunately, his time alone just made all of his negative emotions build and spiral out of control. He'd been upset since the morning, but he thought that dinner would put his mind at ease. But Henry hadn't showed up to dinner. Two hours had passed and he still never showed. He hadn't responded to Alex's texts or calls. So, when Henry showed up at the brownstone an hour after a deflated Alex had gotten back, Alex was practically shaking with rage and confusion.
"Oh," Alex said when Henry entered, "you are alive."
Henry smiled at him like this was some sort of hilarious joke. That quickly changed when he noticed Alex's death glare.
"What happened?"
Alex fought the urge to just unleash and yell at him. He took a measured breath instead. "I don't know. You tell me."
Henry looked at him for a moment. "Love, why don't you just tell me? I haven't a clue what's going on."
Alex growled at him. "Are you fucking kidding me right now? Is this a joke or something?"
Henry blinked at him. "I don't––"
"When you didn't say anything this morning, I thought you were just too tired to remember, but then you make me wait for two fucking hours at that––"
"Oh, Christ," Henry groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I forgot about our dinner plans, didn't I?"
"That's not all you forgot," Alex seethed. "Have you seen the date?"
He could see the gears turning in Henry's head. Then, inn a moment of recognition, Henry's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "Oh," he gasped. "Our anniversary is today." He started to move towards Alex, but Alex leapt out of his seat and moved away from him, shaking his head violently. "Alex, love, I'm so––"
"Just tell me what was so fucking important," Alex demanded. This was a week or two of drifting followed by a really shitty day. Alex knew that Henry was really busy with the shelters and his manuscript, so he was fine with (or used to, anyway) that feeling of loneliness and distance that came when Henry had a lot going on. But it had been at least a week of that distance to the point where he and Henry hadn't had sex or really just been with each other in over two weeks despite both being in New York. And now, on top of that, Henry forgot their anniversary and Alex was pissed. It was stuff like this that made Alex think that he was the only one that was one thousand percent invested in the relationship.
Henry hung his head. "I...I was reading."
Alex wanted to scream. To his horror, his eyes started to tear up. Angry at his body for betraying him and giving his emotions away, he forcefully wiped the tears from his eyes. Henry reach out for him again, but Alex wouldn't let him get close.
"So, just to clarify," he sapped, "you stood me up for our fucking anniversary because you were reading."
"I––"
"No, don't. I thought...was it stupid for me to think that I actually matter to you? I know you've been busy, but...I guess I thought, for our anniversary, I could be your priority. Just for the day. A few hours. That's all..."he sighed. "That's all I wanted."
Henry recoiled like he had been slapped. A wave of guilt rushed over Alex when he looked at his shell-shocked boyfriend, but he pushed it away. Whatever Henry felt was a mere fraction of what he was feeling. And, to make things worse, it had been going on for so long. Alex had his own busy schedule, but he always made Henry a priority since time together was so precious and fleeting. If Alex could put off a massive project to go to dinner with Henry, he should have been able to rely on Henry to do the same.
"Alex, surely you know that you have been and always will be my number one priority."
"I don't, actually. It doesn't feel like it. It hasn't felt like it for at least a week now."
Henry plopped himself down on the sofa. "I'm sorry," he said. Alex pretended not to notice the tears in Henry's eyes. "We can still celebrate. Our flight doesn't take off until eight in the morning. That's eight hours to make it up to you."
Alex shook his head. "No. I––You lost your chance. I've been so patient with you, but I never get to see you anymore. I uprooted my whole life, changed my career, to be with you. And I was happy to do that because I love you and you will always be my number one priority, but it sucks that I'm not your's anymore."
"I love you," Henry sobbed, "more than anything. I––"
"I want to believe you," Alex whispered. Broken. Beaten and battered. "I really do."
"Then believe me," Henry begged.
Alex pulled his fingers through his hair. "I can't. I––I'm going to bed. I need to sleep on this," he said, knowing that there was no way he would get more than an hour of sleep. If that.
Henry started to stand. "I'll go with you."
"I'm going to sleep in the guest room," Alex decided.
"Alex––"
Alex held up a defeated hand. "No. I need...I need time. To just not be with you. To think."
Henry let out a mangled sob but Alex didn't dare look back at him. Instead, he nodded and went upstairs.