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Big water drops were hitting the kitchen's glass window. They were hitting it so fast and hard that he worried for a second the window couldn't resist. The smell of damp wood across the cabin walls, the lighting that illuminated for a second the kitchen and heavy sound of rain drops falling in the ceiling, Akaashi was a little worry about the heavy rain. But his thoughts were replaced by the temporizer alarm in his phone, announcing that the cookies were ready.
Pulling the oven door and being careful, he put the cookies on the countertop. The ginger cookies were almost perfect, even though Bokuto wanted them to be bigger, telling him that it was not going to be a good idea, he managed to do them in the right size at the end. He could feel a blushing come through his cheeks and a little tight feeling in his chest by the image of Bokuto and flour all over his face.
Blinking some more cheeking that the cookies were well done, he leaved them to rest and directed himself to the living room. Where his best friend was eating popcorn while searching for something to watch.
''Akaashii!!'' he exclamed excited launching his arms up as if he didn't saw him just 15 minutes ago.
''Yes, Bokuto-san?''
''Come're, come're'' Bokuto said while also making room in the big sofa and patting the place next him.
He falled in place next to Bokuto and grabbed a pillow to rest on his thighs. He liked to rest his hands in it and also, it was a way to stay warm in this fall rain.
''The cookies were perfect. Right, Akaashi? I could smell them from here! I'm sure they're super good'' Bokuto speaked while turning his head back to the kitchen and then to Akaashi again. ''When can we eat them?''
''Later, Bokuto-san''
Nodding, but then pouting a little with his ears turning red, he also said ''I couldn't decide on one movie''
Akaashi nodded and asked for the remote control, he looked through the movie selections. Thinking about a good choice for both of them, he could feel the boy next to him snuggle a little closer to his side. Then, he saw from the corner of his eye the big fluffy white blanket and how Bokuto started to wrap both of them in it. Taking a big breath without noticing it, he managed to find a good action movie. Action wasn't his first option, but knew about Bokuto's short time attention problems. If it wasn't volleyball, it mostly wasn't interesting enough. A good action film with explosions and fight would be fitting.
He asked if the movie was alright.
''Yeah! We can do that. The cars look nice'' the boy next to him responded.
After that, he pressed play and the movie started sounding all over the cabin, ignoring the snuggling his best friend was doing at his right side and the crippling blushing all across his face.
Hearing the rain outside, the dim light of the TV in front of them, the feeling of the soft blanket acros his skin and pijamas, the smell of ginger, sugar and wood combined, and Bokuto well focused on the plot and his caramel popcorn, he finally felt like relaxing at last.
With Bokuto in a professional team, the incessant back and forward daily life messaging, the stressing role of being the team's captain in Fukurodani and Bokuto calling him every chance he had to meet, it was difficult to get to this meeting. But luckily, his father lend him the cabin for the weekend and being in the woods was a good middle point for them to meet up.
Akaashi realising his feelings for his best friend at the end of nationals and never having the nerve to say them out loud, he really didn't want to meet. But Bokuto was himself, and persisted with too much calling at the middle of training, or in the middle of the night. So he had to agreed at last, before Bokuto just appeared in front of his house to have a pajama party.
Thirty minutes in the movie and a racing scene happening, an alarm was turned in his head by a head resting between his shoulder blade and his ear. Grey hair was touching his cheeks and immediately he felt his blood rush to all of his face.
Trying to move away, Bokuto just plopped slowly across his chest and rested in the pillow that was on his legs. Akaashi let out a big sigh without noticing again and a explosion sounded across the living room.
'' C'mon, Peggy! Don't fall behind '' The voice in the TV said, sounding so far to Akaashi's ears.
Bokuto started outright snoring in his lap, and snuggled the pillow. He really must be tired. Training overseas, all the traveling and intensive exercise, the constant jet lag and adding to the mix his constant frustration on the court. Even Bokuto being himself, he wasn't surprised that his best friend just falled asleep at eleven in the night.
Taking a big chunk of air through his nose and lifting his hands without knowing how to respond, instead of waking him up and take him to bed, he couldn't help but peered at Bokuto's back against the TV shadows.
His now damp hair was starting to dribble some droplets of water in the pillow. His roots were longer, his shoulder blades were much broader than when he was in high school, also, his arms looked much stronger, probably because of the heavy training he had to go through.
Leaning some more, careful to not wake him up, Akaashi wanted to look at his face. His not much matured face.
At the soft TV lights, cars crashing at the far and big drops of heavy rain sounding at his surroundings. Bokuto's face was as gentle as always.
If not being brighter than the stars at the sky, with that big smile of his and those golden eyes, it was deadly and astounding, with eyes that hunt you and a big smile that is feared in the court.
But for him, just watching his face was a soft cozy feeling in his chest.
Even with his square jawline, big predominant eyebrows and (most of the time) tall spiky black and gray hair, being known for his big disrupt presence. Akaashi couldn't see what everyone was talking about.
He could only see the biggest star in his sky, a protagonist in this world; a really kind, happy, outgoing, fun and talented one.
Akaashi didn't notice when his hands came down, or how one ended up in Bokuto's hair and the other one in his shoulder. He just started to caress the strands between his fingers and felt the thigh sensation in his chest again.
If one were to meet the scene, they would find a dark curly haired tall boy with an stoic face, angry eyebrows and very, very red face. Only the ones who know Akaashi Keiji would understand how the boy must be in a high rush. Because they would look at his kind eyes, that are searching for the thing he most loves; stroking the hair of his best friend, who comes to be his favorite person in his world.
A big rumble shaked the cabin's wall, the thunder sounded loud in his ears and the lighting illuminated his hand in Bokuto's head. All the lights and TV glitched on and off, to be turned off completely.
Now in the complete darkness, with the rain making presence outside and being really sure that he was red all over. He really couldn't help, but to imagine.
Just imagine, how it would feel to grab his hands and embrace him just whenever he wanted, or being embraced by him and rest his face against Bokuto's chest. And just imagine, to hear his heartbeat, to feel his warmness surrounding him, and his laugh to bright his fears away.
To hear '' Your tosses are the best!! '' over, and over, and over again. As if their time together was never to end.
And just imagine, how it would feel his lips against his.
Akaashi didn't notice when he moved Bokuto, how he now was resting heads up. Neither how his face was really near and he could feel his breath against his skin.
Holding Bokuto's hand, stroking really slowly his hair, Akaashi stopped himself before doing something shameful. Mere centimeters aways from his face, he just closed his eyes and enjoying the closest he could get to what his heart wanted.
The lights abruptly turned on.
''A-A-Akaashi..?'' Bokuto whispered.
A sudden panic came over Akaashi, feeling coldness crippling all over his skin. And by accident he pushed Bokuto off his lap.
''Ouch!'' Bokuto exclaimed face on the floor. But Akaashi didn't seem to notice or hear.
His eyes were just wide open looking at his fists on his thighs, knuckles going full white. He could feel his face numbed by the panic. The tight feeling in his chest came to be painful when opening looking down he got to see a pair of golden colored irises looking at him; Big, searching, confused, hurted.
Akaashi immediately launched backwards, stoop up and moved away. ''Sorry'' he hated how little his voice sounded.
White noise in his ears and another thunder now rumbling his own heart, fear started to overtake him. Stress and panic lurched through his mind and he began to affront the sad reality. Now his favorite person wasn't going to be around his life anymore. His partner, his platonic, his best friend.
But a someone grabbed his hand before going to far, not letting him go. Coming to an abrupt stop, he turned his face and saw Bokuto standing up and then sitting again in the sofa. Never letting go of his hand.
Akaashi felt so confused and felt how he didn't think he would be able to resist the urge to cry looking at those sad and shocked eyes.
''Akaashi'' his name sounded so soft in his lips, whispering between the static in his mind.
Akaashi really was going to lose this. He was discovered, and nothing could be the same anymore.
Bokuto made direct eye contact with him. Brows furrow, smile gone and a really serious look in his face.
He started to feel sick, wanting to get out of there and run, run back home. But to not go to school, to the court, where he could see him jump. Just go and bury in his room, in his reality.
''Akaashi'' Bokuto repeated, with worrying eyes and soft voice. Squeezing his best friend's hand he said ''Please, sit'' he patted the space beside him.
Suddenly the world stopped, the oxygen was lacking still, his chest felt too tight. But he listened to what he was told. He slowly walked to the sofa again, almost being dragged. He sat down facing away from him and looking down.
''Are you okay?'' Bokuto said slowly and Akaashi really felt sick. The air felt tense, dense, really it started to lack.
''Yes, Bokuto-san'' he didn't intent to sound so angry, but the desperation was taking the most of him. He still couldn't face him.
Noticing, Bokuto said ''Akaashi, please, look at me '' desperately while tightening his hold on his hand.
Akaashi turned to see him slowly, shameful of being caught. Afraid of what to find, he felt so sad seeing his best friend looking so confused and worried. Taking air through his nose and feeling his throat burn, he decided to be honored and face his mistakes. Invading Bokuto's space and intimacy like that, is something to be shameful of, and Akaashi had to face the consecues.
Even if that meant losing the one he loves the most.
Akaashi looked up ''Bokuto-san'' his voice sounded firm and loud. Bokuto jumped in his seat at the call of his name. ''... I'm deeply sorry for that. I thought you were asleep and it was wrong on me for doing it, so, If you decide to end this friend-''
''Hey, wait, wait, wait'' Bokuto said putting a hand on his mouth to stop him from continuing. Surprise took him and Akaashi felt his face tingle ''Why are you sorry? Wh-Why would I want to end my friendship with you, Akaashi? I'll be hopeless without you''
Now it seemed like Bokuto was panicking, and Akaashi was the one feeling confused.
''I invaded your personal space, Bokuto-san'' he said with a serious tone.
''You did?''
''Yes, I did''
''...so?''
Akaashi wanted to smash his face against the wall ''Are you not mad?''
''No! Of course not, why I would be?''
He tried to connect the dots, make de strings straight. What was Bokuto saying? He wasn't mad at him? He didn't hated him? ''Because I have no right to be that near your face. And it really seemed like you were sad... disappointed'' He had to be sure to get his hopes high.
''Well, of course I'm disappointed! You were the first one to make a move, and I was planning on how to do it the whole week'' he said exasperated throwing his free hand at the air, and then slapping his eyes. The red colour in his face now in his ears and down his neck.
How someone could change emotions so fast? He didn't know. A second ago he felt miserable.
But now, holding Bokuto's hand, feeling his face suddenly burn with excitement, his lips trembling a little, Akashi was starting to connect the dots.
The dim white light of the TV made it visible enough to Akaashi. And without thinking again, he moved his hand slowly up and started stroking gray hair again. Bokuto slowly moved his hand away and let himself rest his head on Akaashi's hand.
Now Akaashi started feeling panic all over again, looking down on the stronghold of his own hand against his, the other hand on the back of his head, the soft sofa fabric he felt against his fingertips with the feel of rough, worked skin between his fingers.
Bokuto was looking down too, as if their hands holding together meant something. Well, they did. Looking up again, he could see how Akaashi had a really strong blush across his cheeks and ears. He couldn't help a big smile invade his face, but now, he just wanted to be sure it was true, that what he was thinking was right.
''Akaashi'' he said with a really nervous voice. He damned himself, but kept going ''Can..can I hold you?''
Akaashi could feel how his reality came to abrupt total stop. Nothing was the same anymore, now, there was only him. Only Bokuto.
Nodding slowly, he also said in a whisper ''Bokuto-san''
''Yes?'' he responded getting a little closer.
''Did you notice what I was trying to do?'' Akaashi still had fear.
Bokuto's fingers let go of their hold on his hand to crawl up Akaashi's arm slowly.
''Yes'' Bokuto responded now getting closer and moving his other arm to Akaashi's back.
''And you don't think it was inappropriate?'' Akaashi said with worry in his voice, really stiff against Bokuto's touch. But Bokuto kept crawling up his arm, and his hand was holding Akaashi's cheek.
''Honestly, Keiji'' his own name sounded so good, between his lips. Akaashi could feel himself shake ''I would've done the same''
Bokuto was now inches from his face, Akaashi could feel his heart pound against his ears and his fist tight against Bokuto's t-shirt. He saw the big smile in his face, feeling a little smile cripple across his too. Inches away to touching lips and with teary eyes, Akaashi said in a little whisper.
''Bokuto-san, I like you''
Bokuto laughed and pouted a little, he put his arm around Akaashi's waist embracing him and holding his face with care he said.
''Akaashi, that's my line''
And sealed their confession with the touch of their lips.