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There are holes in the ceiling, and as rain pours outside, Peko watches water leak through them. But this is an old building, decrepit, abandoned, and the ground beneath her is clear, so she can’t complain. This building isn’t going to collapse in the next twelve hours, bury her in rubble while she sleeps, so the leaks, they’re a minor concern, really. If the plan was to stay here forever, to settle down and keep this as her house, then she would care more. But she and Sonia will be leaving in the morning. Forget the wears of time, it is too dangerous to stay in one place for very long, and they have already been here for two nights.
They would have left today. Peko glances down at her girlfriend, sleeping on her side, her head resting on Peko’s lap and her blonde hair dirty and matted, spread out on the floor. She gathers Sonia’s hair in her hands and tucks it away, brushing dust and filth out of it, pretending that it won’t all build up again later. They would have left today, except that Sonia twisted her ankle at their last location, and it’s fine, they’ve dealt with much worse, but every step was making her wince and Peko has always been awful when it comes to watching the people she loves in pain.
(Her thoughts drift to Hajime, her best friend, and Fuyuhiko, her brother, but she dismisses them, because the reality is that there is only Sonia now, and Sonia is the dearest to her, always has been in a way. Sonia is her world. Getting distracted, dwelling on the past, well… that would be a handicap. And there’d be no point in weighing herself down when she can’t look back, not for a second.)
Sonia looks so much different when she sleeps. It’s such a cliche, but her expression smooths out completely, wrinkles and dips disappearing from her forehead and cheeks. When she’s worried, Sonia’s jaw clenches, and Peko can see it as it ticks, her back teeth grinding against each other. Her clear grey eyes have been so clouded lately, and Peko can’t see them right now because they are closed, but her fair eyelashes flutter on occasion when she stirs. Peko can imagine them too, clear in her mind’s eye. It’s almost as though Sonia will open her eyes this instant and Peko will see them.
Delicately, tenderly, so that Sonia doesn’t awaken, Peko brushes a hand over her cheek, wiping away soot and dirt from the side of her face. She looks so relaxed. But Sonia’s nightmares have always been the silent kind. Peko leans forward and presses a light, lingering kiss to her girlfriend’s forehead; a gesture that she would not attempt in consciousness, though whether out of embarrassment or anxiety, Peko has yet to pinpoint. Sonia takes the initiative in that area.
Not that there’s been a surplus of time to think about such things. Peko closes her eyes for a moment and focuses on the quiet sound of Sonia’s breathing. Even through her eyelids she can see her baseball bat, a shabby replacement for her old sword, the dried blood staining it. She’ll have to clean it soon. The rain will make that easy. For now, though, it sits close enough for her to grab it in case of danger, but as far away as she could put it so that she doesn’t have to smell it.
Things didn’t used to be this way.
(Peko remembers high school, when she and Sonia had nothing to worry about but each other. Her biggest concern was whether or not her affections were returned, back then. Now she wishes they weren’t, so that at the very least, Sonia would have one less thing to worry about.)
Nowadays they dodge puddles of blood on the sidewalk, fend off mobs with meager weapons, jump from temporary home to temporary home, never staying anywhere for too long, never lifting their faces except to each other, never making new relationships, never daring to think about the distant future, only surviving until the next day.
(At least, they shouldn’t be thinking about the distant future. Peko can’t help it sometimes. It helps her relax, fantasising about a world where all of this is over, and everything is okay again, and it’s just her and Sonia and nothing else, and they get to stay somewhere for real. Perhaps they will leave Japan. The idea of places outside of Japan is so utterly laughable, though, that Peko tries to keep such thoughts to herself. She wouldn’t want Sonia’s exasperation, or worse than that: her hope.)
Ever so slowly, Peko comes out of her thoughts. She needs to be on her guard. That’s the point of her being awake right now in the first place. At any moment, she might have to go back into combat, and in that scenario, Sonia’s life is her priority. She can’t chance losing that because she was dreaming of a world that will perhaps never exist.
In her sleep, Sonia murmurs something, a tiny smile appearing on her face. Peko’s chest surges with warmth as her girlfriend settles down, and remains even after the only sound in the building is water dripping around her through the cracks in the ceiling.
They’ll be alright for now.