Work Text:
August 28th
Page 18 of notebook
ORGANIZATION OF THOUGHTS
I should probably make a list of things I need to do to prepare for school.
Make a supply list.
Find out who my teachers are.
Find out who Troy’s teachers are.
Find a quiet place at the school.
Clean the room. (List of tasks on next page)
Talk to Troy.
Decide if I’m going to wear makeup or not. (Done. The plan is to get Troy to bring me some and I can put it on at school and wash it off before I get home.)
Okay, list is done.
I’m sort of nervous.
I really, really don’t want to go to school. Everyone says high school is better, but they still have florescent lights and loud hallways.
I’m scared for Troy.
It’s late. I need to go to sleep.
August 28th
Page 19 of notebook
School Supply List
Paper (one package of wide-ruled, one package of college-ruled, and one package of graph paper)
Pencils (mechanical, .7 lead)
Pens (ballpoints, in Black, Red, and Blue)
White-out
Erasers (2 Pink Pearls)
Notebooks (one for each class, leaving out art and English. 5 total. Spiral bound, college ruled.)
Sketchbook (9 x 12 inches, spiral bound)
Composition book (200 pages, wide ruled if available.)
Binders (3 1” 3-ring binders.)
Binder (for Troy. Underworks brand is safe. Check out trans forums to look for other good brands.)
Something chewy. (Amazon has good necklaces. Troy prefers sticks, though.)
Rubber bands (Colorful)
Matching spinner rings (Monstersteel.com.)
Line highlighter bookmark (for Troy)
Earplugs
September 1st
Page 20 of notebook
There are two days left.
I don’t want to go to school. I don’t want to go to school. I don’t want to go to school.
I don’t know where I can go if I have a meltdown. I don’t know where Troy can go if he has a meltdown.
I don’t want to go to school.
I really wish I had an official diagnosis, sometimes. At least I could get some accommodations.
I don’t want to hide myself, but I don’t want to get beat up either. One swirly in eighth grade was enough.
Four was overkill.
September 1st
Page 20 of notebook
Troy’s not nervous.
I don’t see how he can not be.
Maybe he’s lying. But we don’t lie to each other. (See Trobed rule number 15, page 2- “Friends are honest”.)
He says he’s excited for high school.
I just don’t get it.
We both go nonverbal sometimes.
I’m nervous.
September 2nd
Page 21 of notebook
Morning Checklist
Backpack
Contents of backpack:
Paper (one package of wide-ruled, one package of college-ruled, and one package of graph paper)
Pencils (mechanical, .7 lead)
Pens (ballpoints, in Black, Red, and Blue)
White-out
Erasers (2 Pink Pearls)
Notebooks (one for each class, leaving out art and English. 5 total. Spiral bound, college ruled.)
Sketchbook (9 x 12 inches, spiral bound)
Composition book (200 pages, wide ruled if available.)
Binders (3 1” 3-ring binders.)
Chewing stick for Troy.
Rubber band ball.
Line highlighter bookmark (for Troy).
Earplugs.
Teeth brushed.
Hair neat.
Well-fitted T-shirt (the one with glitter).
Skinny jeans (the soft ones).
Cardigan (the good one).
Seamless socks.
Converse.
Spinny ring.
Chewing necklace.
I feel like I’m forgetting something.
Try not to forget anything.
September 3rd
Page 23 of notebook
Okay.
"Like ripping off a bandaid."
I think that’s a good phrase for today.
School was like ripping off a bandaid.
It was bad, but not that bad after it was all said and done. Or something.
Ms. Scott yells. I wish she could just talk normally. I can’t tell what she’s saying sometimes.
Most of my teachers are okay-ish.
I like seeing Troy every day, though. That’s good.
I don’t like the lights.
Or the noise.
But I like seeing Troy. And I like the books in the library. There’s a lot about TV.
I can go under the stairs if things get too much. I have earplugs.
Film class is good.
Troy brought me glittery eyeshadow, and I felt good.
I think we’re going to be okay.