Chapter Text
Joseph added Johnathan , Erina , future mafioso, crippled-but-dummy-thicc, dolphinFucker and 2 more to "family group chat"
Joseph changed their name to crackhead.
crackhead: hiiiii
weird hair; oh god
weird hair; WAIT WHAT DID U SAY ABOUT MY HAIR
dolphinFucker; rip joseph
dolphinFucker; change my name its not funny
Hoelyne; BOOO BORING , Joseph don't listen to him
Hoelyne; oo I like my name
crackhead; finally a grateful child
weird hair; JOSEPH
weird hair ; MY NAME
crackhead; aw );
crackhead changed weird hair's name to gamer puppy
gamer puppy : awww
gamer puppy ; I like it
crackhead; :D
Hoelyne: please don't change jotaro's name
dolphinFucker: JOSEPH ISTG
crackhead : na imma keep it
crippled-but-dummy-thicc : wtf is this name
Hoelyne; OMGG JHAHJAHAHAHAHH
crackhead; don't tell me u wanna change it ):
crippled-but-dummy-thicc; na its accurate
crackhead: :0
crippled-but-dummy-thicc: but its to long
crackhead: ooooh
crackhead changed crippled-but-dummy-thicc's name to crippled&thicc
crippled&thicc: better
future mafioso: Joseph why,,,
hoelyne: GIOGIOO!!
future mafioso: JOLYYYNE !!
future mafioso: Joseph, how many times do I have to tell you that I don't want to be a mafioso.
crackhead: but u use commas when u text only a mafia boss would do that
future mafioso : well I'm still just an inoffensive student ..
crackhead: ok ok
what do u want
future mafioso ; giorno
hoelyne; BOOOO BORRIING
crackhead; BOOORRIIING
crippled&thicc: BOOOOOO
crackhead changed future mafioso's name to giogio
giogio; THANK YOOU
dolphinFucker; Y y'all getting normal names ?? Joseph?
crackhead ; U used to be such a snitch when we were kids, its payback time
dolphinFucker; *sigh*
Johnathan; hi how's everyone !
hoelyne; jojo!!!
crackhead: jojo!!!!! :D
giogio: Jojoooo!
dolphinFucker: hi jojo
crippled&thicc: HII JOJO!
gamer puppy : JOOOJOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
dolphinFucker: damn
Johnathan: pffff your name
crackhead changed Johnathan's name to jojo
gamer puppy : this chat is boring
crackhead : T-T
gamer puppy added fuckingVampire DinoDiego
crackhead: ಥ_ಥ
hoelyne: Josuke whyyyyy
gamer puppy:¯\_(ツ)_/¯
gamer puppy: for the;
gamer puppy: -D-
gamer puppy: -R-
gamer puppy: -A-
gamer puppy: -M-
gamer puppy: -A-
fuckingVampire: I, DIO, demand a name change
dolphinFucker: ugh eww
hoelyne : 𝕟𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕪
crippled&thicc: ᗪIᔕᑕOᔕTᗩᑎG
dolphinFucker: how do you type like this
giogio: uuuh... hi dad...
fuckingVampire: hello, son
fuckingVampire: Josuke, I'm going to murder you
puppy gamer: aaaaaaaaaaaaah, one sec
puppy gamer changed fuckingVampire's name to DIO
puppy gamer changed their name to gamer
dolphinFucker: CAN I PLEASE GET A NAME CHANGE
DIO: no
crippled&thicc: no
gamer: no
crackhead: no
hoelyne: no
giogio: no
dolphinFucker: I hate y'all
hoelyne: awww we love you to, furry
giogio: ^^
dolphinFucker: stfu u have piss kink
hoelyne: WHAT
cripple&thicc; WTF
giogio: it wasn't my fault ¬_¬
crackhead: ooooooooh tea
gamer: T E A
hoelyne: Joot, explain
dolphinFucker: Giornos friends are weird
crackhead: aaaaand
dolphinFucker: theres that 21 year old goth alcoholic that kinda hates giogio
Hoelyne: and?
dolphinFucker: he pissed in the teapot and Giorno drank the entire fucking cup of ''tea''
crippled&thicc: OMGGGG HDJHJHDJKAHDK
crackhead: dude how did you not realize
dolphinFucker: he did
hoelyne: OOOOOH SHIT
gamer: yoooooooo dHAHAHAHAHHA
crippled&thicc: I'm gonna fall off my wheelchair
giogio: I hope you do
giogio: bug bite
crippled&thicc; HOW DID YOU-
crippled&thicc: WHO TOLD YOU
hoelyne: omgggggg he told me to
crackhead: HWHAHAHAH ME TO
gamer: same there
dolphinFucker: hahahahaahh saaaame
crippled&thicc: WHO
dinoDiego: gyro
giogio: hi Diego!
crippled&thicc: oh no not you(¬_¬)
crippled&thicc: WAAIT WHAAT
crippled&thicc: TRAITOR
crippled&thicc: someone help me
crippled&thicc: I fell off my wheelchair hdjdwkhvwd
hoelyne: aw);
hoelyne: we all live in morioh
giogio: except me!
hoelyne: yea hes in italy
hoelyne: Johnathan,diego,dio and Erina are in England
hoelyne: ask your boyfriend
crippled&thicc: gyro is NOT my boyfriend
dinoDiego: yea yea
dinoDiego: pfff u wazzock I once saw him carrying you bridal-style to ur fockin' bedroom.
giogio: I don't like where this is going
crippled&thicc: THATS BECAUSE MY WHEELCHAIR BROKE, U PERVERT
hoelyne: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
crackhead; ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
dolphinFucker ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
giogio:( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
gamer :( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)
crippled&thicc; I-
crackhead: you?
crippled&thicc: NOTHING HAPPENED HE JUST HELPED ME GO TO MY ROOM SO I DONT HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE FLOOR!!!!
dolphinFucker: ye ye
crippled&thicc: bruh stfu you tsun-tsun ass furry motherfucker we all know you have a huge ass crush on milf-ass-hunter-Noriaki-motherfucking-gamer-boy-Kakyoin
dolphinFucker: I- ...
hoelyne: DAAMN
giogio: E X P O S E D
gamer: hell yea Kakyoin!!!
hoelyne: WAIT
hoelyne: JOOT
hoelyne: WHEN IS NORIAKI COMING BACK TO MORIOH
gamer: YEA WHEN IS OUR GAMER LORD COMING BACK
dolphinFucker : next week ig..
gamer: YEEE BOII
hoelyne: HELL YEA
crackhead: YEEEEEES OUR MEME GOD
dolphinFucker : y are y'all so excited ?
gamer: BECAUSE ITS GAMING TIME
gamer: IM TELLING OKU HES GONNA BE SO HAPPY
gamer:
hoelyne: ayyyyy
gamer: look at him!!! epic gamer pose!
Hoelyne: hell yeaaaaa
crackhead: DAAYUM
crackhead: I just checked his twitch chanel
467k fucking subscribers
crackhead: HOLYYYY SHIT
hoelyne: daaaaaaamn IKR
gamer: JSBBJABBDAHJSB WE STAN
giogio: hell yea we do!!!!!
DIO: can y'all please shut the fuck up, I, DIO, need my beauty sleep.
jojo: aw come on! you're absolutely hideous anyways (;.
dolphinFucker : OOH
crippled&thicc: daamn Johnathan
giogio: DAMN RIGHT
gamer; DAamn
crackhead: OOOOH MY GOOOOD, HOLYY SHIT
gamer: I heard that
dolphinFucker: we all did
crackhead: bruh
Hoelyne: O͎o͎O͎o͎H͎ ͎m͎Y͎ ͎g͎A͎w͎D͎ ͎h͎o͎L͎l͎l͎Y͎ ͎S͎H͎e͎I͎T͎
gamer: ajsjaghaha
crackhead: I don't sound like this ):<
dolphinFucker : yes U do
gamer: ^^
crackhead: see y'all ! gtg. bye
gamer: byee
hoelyne: bye bye!
giogio: bye Joseph!
crippled&thicc: bye!
DIO: finally , we can rest now.
dolphinFucker: yare yare daze
hoelyne: I heard that too!!
crippled&thicc; lmaooo
giogio: gud grif
gamer: pffffff
~_______________________________________________________________________________~
- - -||PASSIONE||- - -
golden: hi guys!
sexpistols :hiiiiii
snoopuppy: giorno !!
panna: hi
alcoholic: ugh
mom: hi giorno !
trishy_not_trashy: dude what took you so long
sexpistols: ye !!
panna: ^
golden: so uhh.. basically my brother made a "family group chat'' to "stay in contact"... and ye my family is pretty crazy
alcoholic: ugh so there's more of them
mom; leone!
snoopuppy: dude I really wanna meet ur feral family
sexpistols: yeeeee
panna: aren't we crazy enough ?
alcoholic:true
trishy_not_trashy: wait
trishy_not_trashy: how many siblings do u have ?
golden is typing...
golden is typing...
mom: oh damn
golden: so the oldest sibling is Jonathan , he's 30 year old and he's married
then we have Joseph , he's 25
Jotaro : 22
Johnny : 19
Josuke and jolyne ( twins and 17 years old, almost 18)
me 16 ! adopted at 4
and, this is weird but, my dad (DIO) ??, used to be Johnathan's adoptive brother until he turned 16
and Diego is DIO's biological brother, he's now 25, used to be Johnathan's adoptive brother too, until he turned 7 ( DIO took him with him)
alcoholic : uh damn
sexpistols: THATS A BIG ASS FAMILY
panna: how do you live with 6 siblings ?
golden: its actually pretty fun
and Johnathan is like our dad , everyone is pretty mature except for joseph
trishy_not_trasy: isnt he 25?
golden: yes...
panna: pfff he seems like a funny guy
golden: well he is
golden: but sometimes his stupidity almost cost him his life
panna: daamn
snoopuppy: tell me one of those story!!
alcoholic; giorno is probably overreacting it
mom: let the poor kid talk
golden: ok so where do I start ...
golden: he tried to prank my dad and got stabbed
he found a couch in the dumpster and used it as a sled, he broke a rib
he used crack instead of sugar in a cake and got himself and his friend poisoned
he threw mini fireworks in his old apartment ( he was drunk) and the ceiling fell on his friend and almost killed him ( I feel so bad for Caesar )
he stole iced cream from a 10 year old and got in a fight with the kids dad, he broke the dudes arms and jaw ( he's buff af) then when the cops came he "accidentally" punched them and went to jail ( 90% of my family got arrested at least once in their life)
and ye a bunch of other dangerous shit,
mom: I-
trishy_not_trasy: DUDE
alcoholic: as a future cop I already hate your brother
golden: aw come on he's nice !
snoopuppy: yoooooooo I really wanna meet him
sexpistols: MADLAD!!! dude when are we meeting ur family
panna: daaaaamn
golden: well you can't meet them now... but Joseph always organize family reunion and friends can join !
mom: count us in
panna: hell yea!!!
snoopuppy : me tooooo
sexpistols: ^^
trishy_not_trashy: I'll tell Doppio to convince dad to let me go there!
alcoholic : well if everyones going , I'll have to follow them
golden: great !
golden: wait
golden: who's doppio?
sexpistols: yeee who's doppio?
trishy_not_trashy: my dads boyfriend
snoopuppy: oooooh
panna: is he nice ?
alcoholic: wait... ur telling me... that ur antisocial dad... HAVE A BOYFRIEND
trishy_not_trashy: well yea, they got together recently
mom: do you like him ?
trishy_not_trashy: YES
trishy_not_trashy: he's adorable !
hes so nice and kind and funny
panna: aww that's great!
trishy_not_trashy: (:
trishy_not_trashy: I have an idea !! tomorrow at 2pm im going to the mall with him, y'all wanna hang out?
sexpistols: okiii!!!
mom: sure!
alcoholic : yea y not
panna: sure
snoopuppy: hell yea!!
golden: of course !
trishy_not_trashy: yaay !!!
trishy_not_trashy: who's gonna pick y'all up? doppios car is a mini, you won't fit.
sexpistols: me!!
panna: ... ew
sexpistols: Y do u keep sayin that my car smells bad):
alcoholic; probably because you hotbox and eat Macdonalds in you car.
snoopuppy: yea stinky !!
panna : do be precise , your car smells like : weed, Macdonalds , Macdonalds toilets , sweat ( do you even shower) shoes , dirty socks , vomit and canned beans with a dash of suffocating axe deodorant.
trishy_not_trashy: THE ACCURACY
mom: ^^
sexpistols: then what should I do ):
panna: 1) get rid of the trash
2) remove the dust with a mini hoover
3) open the windows and drive for 30 minutes
4) please don't smoke in your poor car
5) use a bit of air freshener ( not deodorant )
snoopuppy: ok boomer
panna: that's such an old and irrelevant meme
sexpistols: thx panna!!
panna: np
golden : if y'all wanna go to the family reunion , I think I have to add you to the group chat
panna: yes please!!!
sexpistols: OMGG YES
mom: !!
alcoholic : ye y not
snoopuppy: YEEAAA BOIIII
trishy_not_trashy: could you send pic of your family ?~
sexpistols: she wants to know who to flirt with
mom: trish wtf
trishy_not_trashy: IM LONELY OK
golden: yea y not.
trishy_not_trashy: THE SINGLE ONES PLEASE
golden: ok ok
golden: well, ill start with joseph
mom: the buff crazy one ?
golden : ye, but he probably have a crush on that Caesar dude
trishy_not_trashy: idc .. sendddd
golden: 
sexpistols: yoooooo hes buff af!
trishy_not_trashy: bro hes hella hawt @/////@
panna: he really do be hitting the gym ⚆ _ ⚆
snoopuppy: I'd be happy if I had 1/10 of his muscles
mom: ooh damn
trishy_not_trashy: okkk hes in the list
golden: hes 25..
trishy_not_trshy: u forgot that 18
golden: ye I forgot
golden: do U like British accents ?
trishy_noy_trshy: Y E S
golden: ye hes British
trishy_not_trashy: YAAY
trishy_not_trashy: I wanna see the rest of the family
golden 
golden: that's Jotaro
alcoholic : Y ARE THEY GIANT
golden: Joestar genes
mom: damn
trishy_not_trashy: bruuuuh also in my list ,,, damn
golden: he never spoke to a women (except jolyne) . so ye he isn't the straightest but not as gay as Joseph
trishy_not_trahy: we'll see~
snoopuppy: I WANNA SEE IF THE OTHERS ARE BUFF TO
golden: ok ok,
golden :
golden: that's Josuke , probably the most photogenic one
panna: BRO Y YALL SO PRETTY
alcoholic; his eyebrows
alcoholic: his jawline
alcoholic: his shoulders
mom: his waist
alcoholic : I'm so jealous rn
snoopuppy: BRO GIVE ME SOME JOESTAR GENES ,, THIS IS NOT FAIR
trishy_not_trashy: HOLY SHIT ,, also on the list ... send more pics
golden : why?
sexpistols: just do it
golden : 
mom: im jealous to
sexpistols: bro-
trishy_not_trashy: YKSKAJHAKS hell yea
trishy_not_trashy: doesn't he have a twin ?
golden: ye but she's probably dating already
trishy_not_trahy: idc ... send
golden :
trishy_not_trahy: OOH DAMN ,, I added her to the list!
golden: bruh hermes is gonna kill you
sexpistols : BRO you sister has more muscles that me Narancia and you combined
snoopuppy: who's Hermes?
golden: the girl she met in prison , she's really Nice tho
mom: she has muscles too?
golden: ye
trishy_not_trashy: oooh send, I like girls with muscles
golden : 
trishy_not_trashy: DAMN QUEEN
panna: ooh damn
sexpistols: broO
trishy_not_trashy : not a Joestar but still on the list
golden:now theres Johnny , probably dating too
trishy_not_trahy: S E N D
golden :
golden; the only reason why he doesn't have tight muscles is because his legs are paralyzed
mom: aww ):
snoopuppy: ah that must suck
trishy_not_trashy: aw): idc, ill take care of him he's cute af
golden: trust me he doesn't need help
he wins horse races and he punches like hell
alcoholic: daam
golden: 
mom: yooo respect
snoopuppy: daaamn
sexpistols: I REALLY WANNA MEET HIM NOW
alcoholic : your family is so badass... (not u btw)
mom: leone!
trishy_not_trashy: yo this is gonna be my new wallpaper
alcoholic: you don't even know him, you freak
trishy_not_trashy: anyways, gtg see yall tomorrow
alcoholic: bye
mom: bye trish !
snoopuppy: adios
sexpistols: bye byeee
golden : bye see ya tomorrow
panna: bye see ya!
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