Work Text:
Yang Jeongin wasn't born Deaf. But when he was two years old, his hearing began to diminish. He couldn't hear the sound of the television in the next room over, the sound of the sizzling on the frying pan, nor the sound of his parents calling for him.
At three years old, Jeongin was diagnosed as deaf. However, he wasn't alone. His uncle, on his mother's side, was also born Deaf. It was his uncle that Jeongin depended on most growing up.
It was his uncle that taught him how to sign, introduced him to other Deaf children, and told him that being Deaf doesn't make him any lesser than hearing people. When Jeongin was asked if he wanted a cochlear implant, he refused.
He loved his uncle, he didn't care that he was Deaf, he'd rather be Deaf than be hearing. However, being Deaf made communication with his father almost impossible. Jeongin's mother was a skilled fingerspell-er and knew a little bit of signs but his father didn't know any KVK.
Growing up, Jeongin advanced his signing, confused his friends with his fingerspelling, and learned how to talk through the help of a Deaf speech teacher. Jeongin wanted to learn how to talk and his parents and uncle thought it was the best choice for the future.
Jeongin remembered talking when he was a baby, but it was a distant and foggy memory. The sound of his voice forgotten through time.
When Jeongin was 10, he asked his uncle and parents (well, mother), if he could get a cochlear implant for the first time. He was curious what everyday things sound like, and most importantly, what his voice sounded like.
Jeongin heard all around the news about idols' rise to fame and read about how amazing their vocals are online. It was then when Jeongin realized he never knew what his voice sound like, and he wanted to know.
At 11 years old, Jeongin got his implant. It was expensive, very expensive. Jeongin's parents scrapped most of what they could and his uncle supplied for the rest.
The surgery was about 3 or 4 hours long. When Jeongin woke up following the surgery, he felt a small object right behind his right ear.
He brought his hand up to examine it, but his hand was brought down by the surgeon. The surgeon placed a a metal and magnetic device at the object behind his ear and at once, sounds begin to enter his ear.
Jeongin flinched at the sudden and unknown noise, looking around as he looked at the surgeon. His parents and uncle walked towards him, staying behind the surgeon.
"How do you feel, Jeongin?" His mother asked.
Jeongin's eyes widened as he replayed the sound in his head, his first sound. His mother's voice.
'I feel good..." Jeongin signed, eyes still wide as he nodded his head up and down.
"You're going to feel some pain for a couple of days, Jeongin." His mother spoke.
"You do know you can speak too, right Innie?" His uncle signed.
His uncle never wore a cochlear implant, he had told Jeongin that he didn't want to have one. Jeongin didn't really understand when he was younger, but now, he can respect his uncle's decision.
"Y-Yes." Jeongin spoke for the first time. Inside, his body crumpled into a ball. His voice sounded horrible.
It was far from the perfect pronounciation his mother spoke, and very, very far from the vision he dreamed his voice would be like.
After the surgery, and the pain too, Jeongin privately worked on improving his speech. Going through video after video of 'How to learn Korean' videos on YouTube. Searching up how to properly pronounce them using translating websites like Naver and Google.
At night, Jeongin tried his absolute hardest to remember the way his muscles in his throat moved when talking as a baby. Trying to resurface how he spoke normally before he loss his hearing.
When Jeongin entered middle school, he was partially skilled in his speech, but decided to stick to signing when in public, self-conscious about his voice. Jeongin thought if hearing people knew what his voice sound like, they wouldn't want to be friends.
Jeongin was enrolled into a hearing school, as he has his implant now, but the school offers KVK translators at every class and about 25 percent of the students are either Deaf or hard-of-hearing. Jeongin just wanted to befriend the 25%.
Middle school wasn't looking up for Jeongin.
Jeongin walked down the hallways of his school heading to lunch. In his hands were several notebooks, a binder, and his pencil case he planned to put away in his locker. He didn't notice the group of kids whispering silently behind him.
At once, Jeongin felt a sharp tug on his implant. The noises cut off immediately as Jeongin felt a hand push him down. His belongings fell to the ground, and without his implant, he couldn't hear a thing.
"Give-Give that back!" He spoke, but couldn't hear his own voice. Hand reaching out to where the ear-piece was in one of the bullies' hands.
He saw the group talk about something then laugh, pointing at Jeongin, who was on the floor. Everyone in the hall laughed at him, except a certain select few, the other Deaf students.
Two of them, both with an implant like Jeongin, began talking. Jeongin only saw his mouth move but knew he was addressing the people who were teasing him. Meanwhile, the second person was signing to those who were Deaf or hard-of-hearing.
The bullies backed away and threw Jeongin's implant into Jeongin's hand roughly. The boy fumbled as he held onto it. Jeongin placed the implant back into it's proper place as he turned towards the boys who helped him.
Noise begun to enter his head again. 'Thank you', Jeongin signed to the two of them once he caught their attention.
"No problem, you can't let them get the upper hand on you. We've both had our share with bullying in this crappy school." One of them spoke, her Korean wasn't perfect but damn was it better than Jeongin's. "I'm Kim Sookyung."
"My name's Yoon Sanha." The second spoke.
'My name's Yang Jeongin.' Jeongin signed.
"Why don't you speak? You have an implant." Sanha asked, head tilted a little to the right.
'I just don't like to speak, I'd rather much sign.' Jeongin responded.
"Ah, I see." Sookyung spoke. "C'mon, lets sit together at lunch."
~~~
The bullying progressively got worse as he got older. Jeongin learned to deal with it but after a while, he was sick of them constantly sohuting insults at him, Sookyung, and Sanha, so, he decided to block out the noises once and for all.
For half of his 7th grade year and the entirety of his 8th grade year, Jeongin refused to wear his implant outside of his home. Every time he spoke in class, he would hear small snickers of laughter from certain people. He was done with hearing and refused to wear the implant ever again.
Now, as a freshmen in high school, Jeongin didn't have Sookyung or Sanha to depend upon anymore. Sookyung and Sanha had moved to an all Deaf school until they graduate high school. They still talk regularly via texts and meet up every now and then.
The bullying slightly died down as Jeongin was introduced to a new horde of people. The bullying begun when people knew he was Deaf, but wasn't as bad as the stupid middle schoolers.
Jeongin learned there was a KVK club for those interested in learning about the language and the culture. Jeongin signed up and for the first time since high school he felt safe.
It was approaching early winter, Jeongin was staying after school, having already made up a quiz he didn't do so well on, he decided to stay an extra hour. He passed through the music hallway, envy filled his heart along with a ting of something unknown.
Guilt? Perhaps.
Jeongin thought about his desires of music, how much he fascinated over it when he was younger. Envying hearing people who had the advantage of making and listening to music. Secretly, Jeongin still had the ear-piece hidden gently in his backpack, but never got around to wearing it.
Jeongin let out a sigh, not realizing he was still walking within his deep thoughts until he ran into someone.
'Oh shoot, I'm sorry.' Jeongin signed, stopping in the midst of it when he remembered that hearing people most likely don't know KVK.
Jeongin turned to see the person talking to him, but (like everyone) couldn't read his lips. The boy fixed his dark brown hair with a swift thread through its fingers and Jeongin felt a pang as he admired the boy's beauty.
The boy, suddenly knowing that he couldn't understand him, began searching on his phone. Jeongin watched in curiosity as the boy tapped on something on the screen and held out his right hand.
Then, he began fingerspelling. Horribly.
'I... t.. i... s...' The boy's eyes scanned through the photo of KVK's letters. 'O....k...a...y'
Jeongin let out a laugh as his hands held his stomach, suddenly no longer guilty for running into him. The boy sheepishly smiled at his horrible attempt at fingerspelling.
Jeongin took out his phone and began typing in the memos. He finished typing and showed the screen to the boy.
'What's your name?' It read, the boy glazed his eyes through it and was given the phone to type a response. Once he was done, he gave it back to Jeongin.
'I'm Hwang Hyunjin, 2000 liner. What's your name?' He read back. Jeongin held the phone and marveled over the name.
'Yang Jeongin, '01 liner.'
Hyunjin smiled and nodded as he read the name. Then, his head turned to something behind Jeongin. The boy turned around to see what he was looking at.
With half a body sticking out of the door, another boy stood, saying something to, presumably, Hyunjin. His hair was a light orange, freckle littered his face. He didn't look much older as Jeongin.
'Want to come? My friends and I are in the middle of recording something.' Hyunjin handed the phone to Jeongin, who nodded in response.
The older boy grabbed his wrist and walked towards the room. There, Jeongin was met with several other unfamiliar faces. The boy with freckles sat in a chair near the door, holding it open until Jeongin entered,t hen promply closed it.
He maybe had closed it rather hard, because the person next to him, a boy with a puppy-like face and brown hair parted near the middle, began to yell at him.
Sitting in the largest chair with wheel was probably the oldest out of the eight of them. He had blond, curly hair with black roots. A hand out towards the two boys that were bickering, saying something to them.
With a laptop infront of them was a boy with pitch black hair and a long face, headphones resting on his neck as he smiled at the exchange. Next to him was a squirrel-looking boy with big round eyes and auburn hair, one hand resting on a mousepad, another around another boys' neck.
Hyunjin took the phone from Jeongin and began typing into it, ignoring whatever the heck the other boys say to him. Once he was done, he gave it back to Jeongin. The 01 line read it through, seeing Hyunjin point along as he read.
'Lee Felix, 2000 liner,' The boy with freckles and orange hair.
'Kim Seungmin, 2000 liner,' The boy that was just talking to Felix.
'Christopher Bang, just call him Chan. 97 liner,' The eldest in the room sitting in the large chair.
'Seo Changbin, 99 liner,' The boy with dark black hair.
'Han Jisung, 2000 liner,' The boy with auburn hair.
'Lee Minho, 98 liner,' The boy next to Jisung.
Jeongin reread the names of the boys, matching them to the faces. Meanwhile, Hyunjin was saying something to the group about Jeongin.
'I'm the maknae,' Jeongin typed to Hyunjin with a smile. Hyunjin nodded along as he read.
Felix held his hand out to the phone. Hyunjin gave it to him and watched as Felix began typing. Once he was done, he gave it back to Jeongin.
'You're Deaf?' It asked.
Jeongin signed 'yes' and nodded in Felix's direction.
'I loss my hearing when I was three.' He showed the screen to Hyunjin, who spoke it to the group. Jisung asked the next question.
After a couple more of questions and answers, Jeongin decided to stay and chat with the boys, get to know them better. He exchanged texts with the 2000 liners while the older boys continued working on their music track.
Chan turned around in his swivel chair and spoke to the group. All of them got up in excitement as they went to the laptop. Jeongin walked forward but stayed mostly in the back. Chan pressed something on the mouse pad and instantly, Jeongin's body was filled with vibrations from the sound waves.
He placed one of his hands on the wall right next to him. His hands were consumed with the senses of the sound. The different semitones that all blended into one beautiful masterpiece. Jeongin felt the vibrations die down, signaling the piece was over.
He saw the boys' mouths moving, their faces lit up in awe as they faced each other.
Hyunjin turned to Jeongin, seeing his hand on the wall, he got the point. The boy took out his phone as he typed: 'You heard (yes, technically you didn't hear) the music?' He read.
Jeongin nodded his head up and down, his hand still on the wall. Seungmin took the phone and began typing it in. Minho said something short and Jisung laughed.
'Then can you hear this?' It asked.
Seungmin opened his mouth wide. Jeongin knew he was singing at the three semitones variations he felt on the wall. When Seungmin was done, Jeongin nodded his answer.
From then on out, Jeongin remained friends with all of the boys. Seeing each other in the hallway, eating lunch together, and hanging out after or outside of school.
Over time, Jeongin taught them how to fingerspell. While they aren't the best, it makes communication a lot better when talking face-to-face.
'Jeongin' Changbin spelled in the hallway, catching sight of the maknae of the eight of them.
Jeongin tilted his head at the 'Quiet, do not disturb' sign hanging on the door. He and Changbin slipping through and Jeongin's eyes widened. Jisung was in a recording booth.
His mouth was moving rapidly. Jeongin placed his hand on the wall to sense Jisung's rap, the tones being almost identical but the occasional jump upwards.
'We're recording the song' Felix spelled, one of the best fingerspellers of the group of eight. 'Remember, the one from 3 months ago?'
Jeongin nodded. The song Chan played the day Jeongin met all of them.
After Jisung was done, Minho clapped wildly at the younger boy, patting him on the back when he left the booth. Chan gestured for all of them to come closer, spelling 'Listen' to Jeongin, who got the message.
The maknae stood near the back a little. For three months, Jeongin contemplated whether or not to use his implant again. He hasn't touched it since middle school. Jeongin was convinced that his friends were different, not the bullies from the past. He gained their trust and the others gained his.
'The past is in the past..' Jeongin told himself, breathing in and letting it out.
So, Jeongin dug into his backpack and pulled out the familiar ear piece. He attached it gently and at once, sounds began to fill his head. The whispers of their voices, Chan clicking on his laptop, the sound of people walking just outside the room.
At a single click, music filled the room, and Jeongin didn't need to put his hand on the wall to sense it.
Beautiful was nothing compared to the piece they wrote. How Seungmin's and Chan's voice blended together. Felix's (surprisingly) deep voice giving off a warm and safe feeling. Jisung and Changbin rotating between their lines. Minho's high notes at the bridge.
Chan clicked again on the computer, the music stopped and the eldest spoke to the group.
"There's still some part missing, obviously, but it's coming along nicely. What do you think?"
"I like it." Jeongin spoke.
He suddenly realized he said it out loud and covered his mouth with both of his hands. All seven heads turned to look at him with surprise.
"Jeongin?" Minho was the first to ask. The maknae marveled at his voice.
'Actually,' Jeongin thought to himself, 'This is the first time I ever heard their voices.'.
"Y-Yes?" Jeongin asked, slowly removing his hands from where they were clamped over his mouth.
"You can hear us?" Hyunjin asked.
"Y-Yes." Jeongin repeated again. The words felt forgein on his tongue. But Jeongin never forget how to speak, it was like riding a bike.
"You have an implant and you never wore it until now?" Felix questioned next. "Why?"
"I... I just don't like wearing it." Jeongin replied.
His voice was broken and hoarse. It sounded like nothing compared to their beautiful voices, how smoothly they spoke, how they pronounced their words correctly and fluidly.
"Why not?" Chan asked. "You have the implant, why not wear it?"
"It brings up some... past memories I'd rather forget." Jeongin answered, head looking down. "I haven't worn it in almost two years. The only reason why I wore it began was because of you guys- Er! I mean-" Jeongin stopped talking, already having said too much.
"Innie, sit down." Changbin spoke. "We'll let you explain if you want to. If you don't, we understand."
All eight of them sat down in the recording studio. Jeongin in between Hyunjin and the wall.
"I was always fascinated with music at a young age, but knew I couldn't compare to the idols since I was Deaf. I got an implant to help improve my speech, and instead, at school, I was tormented because of it. In the seventh grade, I refused to wear my implant ever again in response to it, but always had it hidden in my backpack." Jeongin said, his head hanging low, looking at his fidgeting hands.
"Jeongin, if anyone in this school ever bullies you. Let us know." Seungmin spoke, holding Jeongin's two shoulder, staring straight into his eyes "Trust me, after a while, they won't hurt you ever again."
Jeongin smiled and opened his mouth to laugh lightly. Jeongin also swore he heard and 'aw' coming from Felix.
"But I'm kind of glad I wore the implant. Without it, I never would've known your voices."
"Oh shoot, you're right. You've never heard us talk before. Oh my gosh-" Jisung began to ramble.
"Regretting it now?" Felix questioned, turning to Jeongin with a teasing smile.
Jeongin laughed as Minho stopped Jisung from talking by placing his hand over his mouth, then pulling him into the chair next to him.
"Actually, Jeongin," Began Chan. "Can you sing?"
~~~
From then on out Jeongin was determined out of his mind to improve his voice. He introduced his friends to his family and begged them to take speech lessons again.
They allowed and Jeongin's speech improved every week. While it wasn't perfect, it was darn close enough. Jeongin's slurred-like speech was gone.
His father showed Jeongin a video they took when he was younger, before he lost his hearing. Jeongin watched with wide, marveling, and shining eyes at his two year old self talking. It was incoherent, a jumble of a mess, but it was words. His words when he could still hear.
The memories from the past picked up again. Jeongin remembering how his throat moved when he spoke, the memories of him talking now resurfaced.
After weeks of practice, with his family, his speech teacher, and his friends, Jeongin found himself standing in front of the microphone. The encouraging faces of his hyungs on the other side of the booth.
With a firm nod music began to fill his ears. Jeongin took in a silent breath and sang. He closed his eyes, loosing himself in the moment. Letting his voice and the sound of the music lead him.
And when Jeongin opened his eyes again, he was standing on stage.
Microphone in hand, standing next to his closes friends. Performing at the annual music festival.
Jeongin saw the faces of Sanha and Sookyung in the crowd, cheering him on. The faces of his parents and his uncle, the ones who had supported him the entire time. And besides him, the faces of his friends, the ones who broke Jeongin out of his shell. The seven friends that were the stepping stone for Jeongin.
The maknae saw all eyes turn to him as he stepped forward into the spotlight. Singing his heart out in front of all the people who cheered them on. His voice shining in the night, a large smile on his face after ending his lines.
Minho ended the song and all eight of them held each others hand and bowed.
Jeongin felt his ear piece begin to come off and when he stood back up, took it off to fix it, turning around to place it back on. The sounds escape his ear, he didn't know what was happening.
Before Jeongin could place his implant back on, he felt two hands turn him around.
He didn't hear anything, but saw the happiness, the cheers, the hands clapping, in the crowd.
Hyunjin stood next to him, a hand on his shoulder, he was the one that turned Jeongin around.
The maknae had his implant stranded in his right hand, arms by his side. Eyes wide.
Jeongin didn't hear the sounds of the cheers, but even without a hand on the wall, he defiantly felt it.