Chapter Text
Oswald's head swam, if the pounding behind his eyes was any indication, he was either hungover or had been knocked on the head. He assumed it was more than likely the latter. He was after all no stranger to a concussion, but considering how his life had been going so far, he wasn't going to rule either scenario out just yet.
As he tried to move his hands, wanting desperately to crawl into a soft bed. The realization that he was secured, tied up like a chicken for Sunday roast, had him ignore the incessant buzzing in his head to thrash around wildly in an attempt to get himself free.
A feeble groan from behind him, spurred him on. The indignity of being bound wasn't enough, it would seem. No, some retch was securely fastened to him as well.
Well, whoever it was, wouldn't be alive long enough to retell their sorry tale. He recollected entering the hanger with Tetch and Crane, and then his memory was nothing but a blank. Bloody Jerome Valeska, he had warned Jim, that's probably what led to his current predicament. Well, that's the last time he helps out the GCPD.
His continued thrashing is getting him nowhere, emitting an angry screech, he resigns himself to taking a rest. Only for the body behind him to mutter "Oswald?". Oh, thank god, it's Ed. He will be free in no time, and since they had come to an accord, Ed's silly vendetta now firmly behind them, they could at the very least work together.
They may no longer be friends as they once were, but Oswald had accepted Riddler and would gladly use his assistance getting out of their current mess.
Slightly calmer now that he has an exit plan thanks to Edward's presents, he takes the opportunity to take in his surroundings. The constant whirring of the blimp's propeller should have alerted him already, he would have noticed this fact much sooner, had it not been for the hive of bees that have currently taken up residence in his head.
Although his vision is somewhat blurred, Edward and himself are the only occupants. Surely there should be a pilot to fly this blasted contraption.
With a snap of their bindings, his hands are suddenly free, thankfully Edward never goes anywhere without his knife. Despite the tingling in his hands as the blood rushes back into his extremities, he cradles his head with a thankful groan. Now to lie down, he forgets for a brief instant where he is as he starts to slump.
"Upsy daisy Oswald".
He blinks furiously up at Ed, wondering for a second why his Chief of Staff is attired in such a hideous green suit, before clutching desperately at his head again as he doubles over waiting for the nausea to pass.
Ed has a tight hold of him, and is absentmindedly, rubbing soothing circles on Oswald's back as he attempts to stand up straight, where are they again?. His head refuses to cooperate, were it not for Edward holding him up, he thinks that it's unlikely he would be able to stand unaided.
Ed shuffles them over to a console, it's flashing lights irritate Oswald's eyes, forcing him to stare out of the windscreen instead. He's uncomprehending for several seconds, taking in the view of Gotham from their perilous height. Squinting, he turns his attention once more to Edward, as the other man pushes buttons and flips switches seemingly at random.
"Do you actually know what you're doing?".
Oswald winces, as just the act of talking has his head wanting to split in two, definitely concussed then. Ed hums back a noncommittal reply, more interested in fiddling with dials than listening to Oswald right at this moment.
Edward might be the smartest man Oswald knows, but even to his untrained eye, it looks like Ed doesn't have the slightest clue on how to fly an airship.
With an exhale, he pushes himself shakily away from the console to help Edward. Two minds are better than one, after all it's not like he can make their situation any worse. Ed's rapid tapping on the radio transceiver, which appears to be faulty, is beginning to grate on Oswald's last nerve.
"Would you cease that incessant... Whatever it is you're trying to do, it's obviously not working".
Ed turned to him then, aggrieved with Oswald's lack of comprehension, the radio being inoperable or both. Either way Oswald didn't care, just as long as Ed stops that confounded noise.
"I'm trying to send a distress call, but someone seems to have disabled our only way of communicating".
Oswald huffed, "Just use your phone, wait... You can use mine". He patted down his pockets, as Edward gave him an exasperated look.
"Yes, why didn't I think of that... I don't have my phone Oswald, that's why I was trying to use the radio".
Ed hurled the handset, which bounced rather pathetically off the windscreen. Ed's emphatic hand waving, distracted Oswald from his search, he knew he had his phone earlier, but like Ed's, it would seem to be missing as well.
"Well, that's just great, are you telling me we are stuck up here, with no way to let anyone know what has happened?".
Edward shoots him a look, before pulling his knife out and going to work on the panel housing the radio equipment. Finally prying it free, he turned in triumph to Oswald, expecting rapturous applause. He was met with Oswald's raised eyebrow, not quite the adulation he had been looking for.
Ed was clearly biting back his ire, as he explained his hypothesis, but his irritation leaked through at having to simplify such technical details to Oswald.
"The interior wires have been severed, and I will need to replace them, in order for me to get this transceiver working again, if we want to send out our distress call".
"OK, so what's the problem?".
"I don't carry wire replacements around with me Oswald, I will have to cannibalize something else to get this working. I'm just not sure what systems would be safe for me to utilize. Removing power from something essential would likely lead to us losing power and being unable to steer this, dirigible". His annoyance rang clear, voice dripping with disdain.
Oswald clasped Ed's shoulder, Ed would take it as a show of support, in actuality it was support of a different kind. Oswald held on to Ed, fighting the wave of dizziness that had suddenly gripped him.
In the past, he would have held no qualms of showing this sort of weakness in front of Edward. Now, despite his trust in Edward, they were on a new path. Oswald would not allow his past behavior, to taint their still tentative new friendship.
"I'm sure that you will figure it out. What do you need me to do?”.
Edward took a breath, it would aid his concentration if Oswald wasn't stopping him with questions every few minutes, as the man was prone to do when bored.
Ed surmised that Oswald couldn't do any more damage, or endanger their situation further, if he were to try his hand at piloting. It would have the added bonus of keeping him out of his hair, while he attempted to establish communication with someone on the ground.
"Glad you asked". Ed grinned, leading Oswald towards a wheel that he presumed was used to steer the aircraft.
"You have got to be kidding me. No way am I going to fly this thing Ed, try again!". Oswald squawked in indignation.
"It's easy Oswald, just put your hands here".
Ed helpfully demonstrated, pulling his body back to indicate moving the blimp upwards, as he turned the wheel gently to the left. The motion of the airship turning forced Oswald to cleave to the wheel, prompting Ed to let go and stride back to the open panel, to resume his fiddling with the internal components of the transponder.
Oswald was sure that he had heard the man chuckle, well he would be laughing on the other side of his face when Oswald was finished with him.
Damn Ed for being right as well, this over inflated balloon was probably the easiest thing to fly, he found himself quite enjoying the experience.
The thrum of the propeller was punctuated intermittently, by Edward muttering away to himself as he tinkered away.
Oswald was almost positive that he was forgetting something of vital importance, but the harder he thought about what he was missing, the more his head hurt. He was sure that it would come back to him eventually, as he turned his attention once more to piloting, who said penguin's can't fly.
Ed let out a whoop of excitement, as the radio crackled into life. The pair grinned at each other, laughing in their relief, before their high spirits were brought crashing back to reality as the engine spluttered, promptly dying along with the newly fixed radio.
"Oh, Crud!... Don't worry, I can fix it, it's not like things can get any worse". Ed chuckled, until he looked out at the skyline. The smile dropped from his face as he turned to Oswald.
"What did you do?. Where the hell are we?".
Oswald glared back, OK, he may have got somewhat carried away flying. The city had looked good from this height, but after a while he had gotten bored again and headed out away from the city. He had followed the bay for some distance before steering them out of the mouth of the bay and over open water.
Gotham city was a long way behind them.
“Well, I got bored, you said things couldn’t get any worse”. Oswald snipped back.
“Yes, well, apparently I’m not imaginative enough!, and didn't factor in your flying us away from land!”.
"It wouldn't be an issue if you hadn't broken the blimp, Ed!". Oswald bit back, turning the wheel to change their current heading, back towards Gotham, or where Oswald thought Gotham should be.
"What are you doing?, we're losing altitude, we couldn't make it back even if we wanted to". Ed took hold of the wheel, wrestling with Oswald for control of the aircraft.
Both men shoved and pushed at each other, until Oswald had the bright idea of wrapping himself around the wheel.
Far too caught up in their tussle, neither man noticed the rapid decent of the craft, or the approaching land mass that they were currently heading towards, until it was almost too late.
Oswald got in a lucky kick, sending Ed flying backwards. Edward managed to turn just in time, before his back had a chance to impact against the control console. With stinging hands, he pushed himself upright, prepared to launch another attack at Oswald, in order to gain control. It gave Ed an unobstructed view of the ground, that was currently hurtling towards them at a frightening speed.
Edward had just enough time to shout out the other man's name, before bodily throwing himself at Oswald. Wrapping himself around the smaller man as they crashed onto the floor.
The impact was jarring as the craft was ripped apart, tree branches causing the envelope to tear, releasing the helium within. Accelerating the speed of the falling gondola, sending both men tumbling. The pair bouncing painfully off the steering column as the craft finally coming to rest with a sickening crunch.
The gondola had become wedged at a steep angle between the base of two trees. Partially crushed, it was a small miracle that both men were still breathing, all be it unconscious, having survived the harsh impact with the ground.