Chapter Text
"Argh! You're impossible! If only you'd sit normally, brush your damn hair and wear shoes like a normal human being you might actually pass for a person and not a trash goblin!"
L arched an eyebrow at Light's verbal tirade then continued to munch on Misa's cake. "Well, if you say so" he muttered dispassionately. He was aware he looked rather unkempt at times but he didn't think he was that bad? Perhaps he should listen to Watari and brush his hair on occasion…
"And now you're ignoring me? For cake. You're ridiculous!" Light threw up his hands and looked to Misa for validation. He was surprised to find an oddly thoughtful look on the young model's face rather than the usual vapid smile of adoration. "What is it?"
Misa tucked the magazine she'd been reading away and glanced between Light and Ryuzaki. Suddenly it all made sense. Why Light didn't want to kiss her, why she was detecting an odd 'vibe' from him and why Light and Ryuzaki were always together. Well, other than the chain of course, but the article illuminated her on why they were always picking at one another and forever in one another's face.
They liked one another and each genius was apparently too blind to even realise it. It hurt to realise her feelings for Light would never be returned but she was starting to think that even before she read that 'I hate that I love you' article on 'Why some people hate to love one another!'.
Light and Ryuzaki were attracted to one another and because they were unaware of it they were taking their frustration out on one another and trying to get close to each other in any way they could.
Such as fighting. Just like they were doing now. For the millionth time .
"An eye for an eye, Light!" L snarled as Light's punch made his head spin. He whirled around and smashed his foot into Light's face, sending the other young man careening across the room. L had a split second to appreciate the sight before he was yanked along for the ride, a shocked yell spilling from his lips as they crashed down onto the sofa.
'It is suddenly as clear as day' Misa thought as she stared down at them. L had landed on Light's chest and Light's face had turned a brilliant scarlet. They continued to glare and snipe at one another and yet neither genius had realised they could actually move .
"Get off me!" Light belatedly yelled and Misa sighed softly. Idiots, the pair of them!
"Can you two stop acting like children and sit down, please. I want to talk to you"
Light and L shared an astonished glance. Had Misa just chastised them? Misa ??
It shocked them enough to get them moving. They detangled themselves from one another and sat down, facing Misa with curious looks on their faces as she flipped through a magazine.
"Right. Light, Ryuzaki. I want you to answer some questions for me" she began authoritatively, grabbing a pen to make a note of their answers. If they scored more than ten points then according to the test they were crushing on their 'frenemy'
She imagined they'd probably both get at least twenty each…
"Misa, this isn't going to be one of those stupid quizzes again, is it?" Light sighed. He really didn't know what he saw in the model. Sure, she was cute enough but she wasn't exactly his type.
' Because she dosent have a dick' his brain helpfully piped up before he could tell it to shut the fuck up.
Omitting that last thought, Light frowned as Misa rolled her eyes at him and began the quiz.
"Ryuzaki, is there someone who infuriates you on a daily basis? If yes, do you find yourself: a.) Unable to sleep you are that annoyed with that person or b.) Thinking about that person far more than you'd like to?"
L nibbled his thumb in thought. He did think about Light a lot, however that was for several reasons. Firstly, he was chained to him so it was hard not to forget his presence and so naturally that would lead to him thinking of him more often. Secondally, he was 99% certain the guy was Kira and his main suspect so obviously he thought about that a lot. Also, he vividly remembered being livid at how facetious Light's hair care routine was. He'd spent three hours thinking about what a vain little prick he was the other night so…
"Yes, to both" L declared. "Is that good?"
Misa closed her eyes for a moment, reminding herself just why she was doing this. If she wasn't the one for Light then she would have to be the bigger person and help Light find the one who was suited for him. Even if that person was Ryuzaki.
"Thank you. Light, same question"
"Yes," Light answered immediately, shooting L a scowl. "Particularly the first one"
L blinked innocently. "Are you implying you don't sleep very well because of me, Light-Kun?" He even had the audacity to point one long, pale finger at himself. "Me?"
Light's jaw clenched. "Do you even have to ask that? When you do actually sleep you hog the blankets and there are always crumbs in the bed!"
L shrugged. "If you wanted the blankets Light-Kun would put up more of a fight for them" he reasoned, setting Light's teeth grinding almost immediately.
"And that is a very ungainly habit of yours, Light-Kun" L pointed out smugly, "Grinding one's teeth can lead to a lot of damage, you know. I doubt you have any enamel left"
Misa sighed again as they once more began to bicker. It was like she wasn't even in the room as Light launched into a tirade about the irony of L lecturing him on oral health when his diet was a 'diabetics worst nightmare'.
L responded to that by (childishly) opening his mouth wide and showing two rows of (somehow) pearly white teeth. "Where are the cavities I'm riddled with again?" L asked as Light 'humphed' and looked away in annoyance.
"Can we get back to the quiz please!" Misa asked, feeling very much like a nursery teacher. When they both nodded their agreement (because they were actually interested in the quiz, not that they would admit it) she read the next question. "Light. Do you feel as though there is someone you wish could understand you more?"
Light flicked his eyes to L. "Yes…"
"Ryuzaki?"
L shrugged. "I suppose…"
Misa looked down at their scores so far. As expected, they both had top marks. Usually that would be a good thing but according to this quiz it was glaringly obvious they were crushing hard on one another.
She doggedly went through the entire list of questions with them until the answer was there in black and white. She cleared her throat and read out the behavioral psychologists words of wisdom:
"You are clearly deeply infatuated with the one you believe you hate. Remember: that old saying 'there's a thin line between love and hate' has more than a shred of truth to it. It is time for you to examine your feelings and figure out for yourself the origin of your strong emotional response to your 'enemy' it may just be you are actively repressing your true, romantic feelings for this person"
L scoffed. "What a load of tosh. Where did she get her PHD from?"
Light nodded his head in agreement, but he looked distinctly uncomfortable. Misa was looking at him like she knew something…
'Oh shit. I do love… the fucking dickhead next to me. I do. I know I do. Fuckfuckfuckfuck-'
L, meanwhile, was mulling over the woman's sage words of wisdom too. 'I mean, I don't hate Light but I do believe he's an arrogant, overly vain bastard with a god complex…yes, he's pretty but my god no one needs to spend an hour teasing their hair every morning and-' L's eyes widened comically as realisation hit like a ton of bricks. He'd called Light pretty. He spent a lot of time looking at Light. He knew his moods by the shifting colour of his eyes. Warm amber meant he was amused or content. Cold, pale brown (a colour L was used to) denoted annoyance and stress and the occasional flicker of gold meant-
"Oh god " L muttered bleakly, burying his head in his hands. " Fuck " he moaned. Watari was going to either kill him or piss himself laughing when he found out. He'd only gone and fallen for his prime suspect. 'I'm L! I'm supposed to be above such a bloody cliche!'
Misa hummed smugly as she watched the colour drain from L's already pallid face. At least one of them had gotten the message. Though actually, Light did look a little pale too… She had no idea, but Light was thinking about all the times he'd admired L's eyes and how he'd thought his odd quirks were actually rather cute...
"Misa… " Light's voice sounded strained, "I think it's time we called this 'date' to a close and returned to work"
Misa steeled herself and swallowed thickly. She tossed her hair behind her shoulder and smiled boldly. "Date? Oh, Light, please. It's obvious you're not interested in me that way. That was the main reason I asked you to come. I don't remember how we met but it's obvious you don't really see this going anywhere and I have my career to think of so…"
Light gawped at Misa. Had he just been dumped ?!
L winced and patted Light's arm. "Ouch…"
"Oh, shut up . Like you've ever dated anyone in the first place" Light snapped before he could stop himself. A flicker of hurt flashed across L's face and Light swallowed thickly, his gut twisting. "I'm sor-"
"Whatever. This is a waste of time. We have work to do" L jumped off the sofa and gave the chain idiot none-too subtle yank. "Let's go Yagami - Kun "
'Ah shit, he's mad at me' crossed Light's brain before he could stop it. Wordlessly, they left the room. Misa watched them go and shook her head. She felt sad, yes, but not as sad as she thought she'd feel. It was apparent 'her' Light was something of an idiot when it came to matters of the heart. Just like her.
"I need to concentrate on finding someone who puts me first" she murmured to herself. "I'm sure once they've had time to think Light and Ryuzaki will realise they like each other…right?"
Her answer was the distant sound of L snapping at Light to stop looking at him like that.
She sighed and scratched the back of her neck, a plan B already forming in her mind. Maybe she'd make them both a Tinder profile…