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Jack's day hadn't been good. It had started with one of the littles walking him while it was still dark out, having had a nightmare for the third night in a row. Then he'd just managed to fall asleep when the circulation bell rang.
Race and Albert were loud and obnoxious that morning, worse than usual, winding up a lot of the newsies. Then Crutchie had fallen sick thanks to the dreadful weather that winter. It had taken Jack all morning to persuade him to stay home, and Jack knew it would spread and the next few weeks were going to be difficult.
Elmer had been in a dreadful mood when they met up at the circulation gate, and picked a fight with Oscar, which Jack had to drag him away from. And Jack hadn't had breakfast again. Deciding to go without to make sure all the kids were eating something.
By lunchtime Jack was exhausted, keeping up his vibrant personality was very difficult on no sleep and an empty stomach. He was out with the three youngest, which was a great selling technique. Almost everyone they saw wanted to buy a pape from the adorable four and five year olds.
The afternoon was a blur, and now Jack was laying on his bunk, Davey lying in his arms. The younger was asleep, leaving Jack awake to think.
And think, Jack did. He'd known Davey for nearly six months, and they'd been together for five. It was going well. And Jack couldn't help but think how lucky he was.
Every moment they spent together filled his heart with joy. And even now, exhausted and unable to sleep, Jack felt happy just to be with Davey.
Davey had started back at school, which meant Jack no longer saw him all day. But it did mean that Davey would stay over all the time, and Jack slept much better with the younger there.
Davey was teaching him to write, in secret, he didn't need anyone knowing the great Jack Kelly couldn't write. Not that it was his fault, he'd never had the opportunity to learn. And Jack couldn't ask for a better teacher.
Jack's mind brushed over all the moments they'd spent together. Because together was enough for them. There wasn't more they needed, it was perfect. No matter how bad a day had been, it was okay when they were together.
Jack had never had something so good in his life before, he'd never really had anything good in his life. And some nights, with Davey there, he was afraid to close his eyes, in case it all disappeared when he opened them again. That's why he loved these moments so much. Nothing could ever change these moments, he could never lose them.
Sometimes Jack wished his brain would shut up, or let him fall asleep quickly. He knew Davey would never leave him, he would have done so already if that were the case. That was the harsh truth of the streets. But there was that nagging doubt. The same sort of feeling when one of the littles would tug at his shirt, trying to get his attention. Get him to focus on them. And Jack could only ignore it for so long.
"Jackie," Davey mumbled, lifting his head slightly.
This broke Jack from his spiralling thoughts, making him focus on the present instead of the million what ifs there always was.
"Whatchu doin' awake?" Jack asked, looking down at the younger. He smiled widely at Davey, his hand running up and down his shoulder.
"I felt you fidgeting," Davey responded, sitting himself up so he was beside Jack, "can you not sleep?"
Jack shook his head, "I ain't tha' tired," he said, not wanting Davey to worry about him. He pressed a kiss to his forehead, squeezing the younger closely to him.
Davey just sighed, "don't lie to me, I knows you ain't been sleeping good," he said, shaking his head at Jack. He hated that the elder hid himself away so often, he was desperate to break through these walls, but it was going to take time.
"I's scared Davey," Jack half whispered, staring at his hand as he fumbled with it in his lap.
"Of what?" His voice was that of confusion, having never heard talk like that from Jack. His boyfriend was usually so confident and outgoing, that it was difficult to see this side. This vulnerability.
"Losin' you."
Davey sat up, taking hold of Jack's fidgeting hands as he looked at the person he loved. "I'm never leavin' you Jackie, never," he said, voice strong a confident, so the elder would listen, he needed Jack to know it was the truth.
"But maybe if I's closin' my eyes, youse won't be there when I's openin' them 'gain."
Jack's voice was barely audible, and he couldn't look at Davey. He felt weak, and he hated that feeling. He'd promised himself a long time ago that he would never be weak. Kids died of weakness, and Jack never wanted that to happen to him.
"Jackie, look at me," Davey said softly, placing a hand on the elder's cheek, lifting his chin so they were looking at each other.
"Sorry."
"I love you. And I will always be here," Davey spoke gently, looking at Jack like he was the only person in the room. Because right now he was, he was all Davey cared about.
"I love ya too Davey, an' I know you ain't gonna go anywhere, but there's still this thought in my brain, an' it won't stop," Jack said, pulling Davey closely to him. He had always been a sucker for physical contact, having been starved of it in most of his life.
"Then I won't ever let go of you," Davey smiled, pressing a kiss against Jack's cheek.
"I like that idea." Jack beamed at Davey wriggling down so they were lying together. He felt a little more ready for sleep, and a little less insecure. Which felt safe. But nowhere near as safe as he felt with Davey in his arms.
"Can you sleep now, I don't wan' to leave ya thinkin'," Davey said, words slurring together due to how tired he was. School was hard, and taking its toll on him. Sure it wasn't as hard as being a newsie in the winter, but Davey would rather be there with Jack than on his own.
Jack nodded, letting out a soft hum as his eyes fluttered shut. There was a quiet flooding through the room, and even though it would only last for so long, Jack felt certain it would last long enough. In the morning there would be a million and one problems to sort, but till then, he was okay.
"Go sleep Davey," Jack said softly, holding the younger close to him.
"I love you," Davey murmured as he slipped from consciousness, a small smile on his face.
"I love you so much," Jack whispered, hoping no one would hear him, "I love you more than you will ever know. You mean the world to me Davey, and I can't imagine my life without you."
The world was still quiet as Jack let himself slip out of reality. He knew it would all be okay when he woke, even if it was another busy day. Because Davey was here, and that made everything alright.