Chapter Text
The moon was high tonight this didn’t mean well. He had to get home soon. Who knows what will happen he can’t waste a second not even a breath, but he was too late. Like always the screaming had started. Then it was followed by fast footsteps, in the distance he could see little flickers of flames. They were coming faster than he anticipated.
When he finally reached to the field of flowers there he saw it. The massacre those fowl humans had done. There in the middle being surrounded laid a high elf dressed in white, but the purity of it has been stained red. Even the flowers were tainted, no longer their colors visible. The elf sensed his presence and looked up in shock. His face was severely beaten up. It appeared a black eye was already forming on his left eye. His nose was dripping in blood which was the same blood being smeared around his face. A once perfectly pale skin now red and purple from all the injuries. Yet, he still had enough energy to shout, “Chan! Leave please!” His voice was ruff from all the previous screaming he had done. Chan was frozen he didn’t know what to do. Should he fight? Should he run? He was useless.
“Shut up! You traitor!” A man snapped back and proceeded to grab a long spear. Chan knew what was coming, but his body dare not move itself despite begging for him to at least do something. Though, it was to late yet again. The spear was jabbed right into the elf’s neck letting out a sickening noise. The blood began to rush out even quicker than before leaving the elf to choke on his own blood. He was gasping for air, but each breath was stopped by blood. Then the man decided this wasn’t good enough for his sadistic needs so he retrieved the spear and jabbed it right on top of his head. This ended him, right as soon the spear made it way through, all movement stopped. His mouth left hanging open allowing the spear to be visible at the back of his throat. His eyes immediately dimmed to an ashy brown no longer the ones that were once filled with life and warmth.
The man raised the spear up with the body still attached, the group around him started to give praise. To him this was some wicked game and killing was only apart of it.
Chan still being in the same position stared at the dead elf. No longer was this the high elf Chan knew, but nothing more than a corpse.
With the moon being at its highest point. He felt something deep within him snap. An emotion he never felt in so long, a driving hunger. The last thing he heard was a howl followed by silence.
-
“Woojin!” Chan jolted awake causing him to hit his head against a wooden board that was hanging from the top bunk. “Ah! Fuck!” He cursed rubbing his forehead. He really should do something about it, but he knows he’ll forget.
Falling back into his bed, he stared at the bunk above him. He sighed disappointed with last nights sleep. Chan at least hoped for some changes, but it’s the same dream as always, being forced to relive it no matter how many attempts he tries to change it. But memories can never be altered so nothing works. Altogether Chan just gave up on sleep and will only sleep twice a week. If he even feels like it. Borderline insomnia as the humans call it.
Turning his head slightly he caught a glance of the wall clock ticking, it was 5 in the morning. Like always never getting the bare minimum, but who cares? He had no one to watch over him then again he shouldn’t say that. Maybe the spirit of his lover was watching him turn into a huge depressing piece of shit. But those were hopes he wished never existed. Yet something deep within him told Chan otherwise those probably were his dumb animal instincts. Those dumb instincts he wished were ripped out of him. Those same instincts didn’t sense the impending doom of his lover. That’s what he hated about himself.
Actually his “thoughts” were the worst part about himself. They wouldn’t leave him alone and developed a few months after his lover’s death. If he were being honest here they were more like voices telling him to bad deeds. Almost everything he does his voices would have their two cents. ‘Why are you eating?’ ‘Even if you do that, no one would love you’ ‘Just forget about it’ ‘If you’re feeling pain then you’re doing good’
“If” It’s always if this if that! Giving the poor werewolf more situations to worry about even though he knows they’ll never come to fruition. But the fact of him being a werewolf means there’s still a high possibility of it happening. So in conclusion it was pointless and he just accepted the voices and would justify their actions on his worst days. It was sickening, why should he justify these ugly thoughts? Though he knew why it was because he had nothing to hope for. Chan had no drive and these ‘thought’ gave him at least something so he did whatever they told him to do. Eat less? Sure. Break his arm? Gladly. Die? No.
Strangely that was the only thing he’ll refuse to do. Maybe he was to prideful for death. Another thing as well was that he feels like he has something uncompleted to complete. Maybe it was his vengeance to the one’s that killed Woojin off, but that probably was it. Nothing more, kill the humans then himself. Simple as that. He’ll forever be remembered as by that one crazy mutt who tried to kill the king. Those were a majority of his ideas. Always thinking of dumb ideas that can and will get himself killed. The fact that they were fueled by grief and anger didn’t make it any better. Not to mention Chan never left the grieving stage and it’s been three years. Three years of mental torture, blaming himself and losing his sense of self. It felt like his mind was running a marathon with all kinds of ideas. Squeezing his eyes shut Chan could see every possible of how his life could end. His body began to tense up and felt his chest begin to tighten up, he wanted to throw up.
Then he blanked. No more ideas were running around. He lost his train of thought. It was just peacefully quiet in his mind, nothing was there anymore. Chan slowly opened his eyes regaining his surroundings, his body seemed to calm down as well. Taking in a deep breath and letting out he put a hand on his forehead feeling the fuzziness. He groaned realizing what just happened. Chan is currently experiencing what he would call a burnout. It would usually happens whenever he thinks too much and fortunately it happened this morning.
“Man, I’m helpless” Chan spoke to himself, letting his voice ring throughout the empty room. Experiencing a burnout right now? what a joke. Apparently he can’t even handle himself. Whenever burnouts do happen this meant his ability to think and make decisions were hindered. That also means he had to wait and cool down before making decisions. If Chan did try to early he would just see white and receive a massive headache. On the plus side though, the ‘thoughts’ also stop for awhile. In his case this was more like “a blessing yet a curse” type of ordeal.
So wrapping up his so call thoughts it was about time he get up from his bed and into the kitchen to try and eat something.
Swinging his body off his bed, he looked over to the clock again. It read seven’o clock, so that would mean Chan was in his head for about two hours. If it weren’t for his sudden burnout he would be in there for more. After checking the hour, Chan sluggish moved towards the mirror.
Once standing in front of the mirror he was ashamed. Werewolves next to vampires were known for having neat fur and a well kept appearance especially their human forms. But for Chan he was well the opposite. Much like always his face was written in exhaustion. Heavy bags accompanied it with his eyes bloodshot from the lack of sleep. Even his ember eyes were dull. His skin was way paler than usual it looked like a sick man’s body. Placing a hand on his face he could feel how much fat he lost. His cheeks were sunken in and his jawline was protruding more. Disgusted he moved to his lower half. Lifting up his shirt to check on his abdomen. Being a werewolf had its perks to say the least. His body was always muscular no matter how much he ate, he’ll never gain unless he works out. But today or these past few days he noticed how his body was beginning to get frail. The striking abs he once had were soon losing their volume. His arms were thinning out and same goes for his legs. It was a pitiful sight for Chan and he hated it. But he knew it was his fault for getting to this state.
Another thing he hated was his hair. His once blond curly hair was now a rat’s nest. It was overdue for a hair cut, but he didn’t have enough willpower to get himself one so he let it be and this was the result. Always getting in the way of his line of sight and shedding everywhere. Speaking of shedding god knows how his werewolf self actually looked like, but was to afraid to turn and see how much collateral damage he did.
Pulling his shirt down he went to his closet. Upon opening it he was met with bundles of black clothes. The only thing that was remotely colorful was his flower crown that Woojin made for him. Sadly though the flowers were dying so the colors had faded a bit, but Chan refused to throw it away. He was desperate to cling onto any memory that wasn’t painful. Shifting his gaze away from the crown he went on and picked out an outfit for today.
Looking through his clothes he best decided hiding a majority of his frame would ease Chan’s guilt. Ending up wearing a cloak, a black shirt, some black jeans and a scarf to cover his face. Looking back at the mirror Chan was quite pleased at his choice of outfit, but that was because he couldn’t see himself. Although covering his frame did lessen the guilt doesn’t mean it was gone. Staring at his reflection Chan felt like he wasn’t looking at the same person.
“What am I doing..” Letting out a sad sigh and playing with the ends of the scarf. He tried to distract himself, but because of burnout he saw nothing, but white in his mind. Staying in that position for awhile he felt a bubbling anger in his chest. With no other way to release it Chan grabbed the scarf and harshly pulled it out of his neck. The burn it left satisfied his rage and passed like a breeze, but he knew if he didn’t head downstairs immediately something would break. Being emotional unstable was also another thing werewolves have unfortunately.
Stepping outside he was met with an obstacle Chan did not want to deal with today, a plight of stairs that he hated with a burning malice. For whatever reason he could never make it down without falling, tripping or straight up yeeting his whole body. It’s as if some entity is purposely making Chan do this. “I don’t want to deal with you right now. You hear me?” He told the stairs, but knew it was useless. Taking in a deep breath he prepared himself, not even taking the first step he had already lost his balance. Chan was sent flying and rolled down the stairs. Hitting his head with each step and saying almost every curse word in the book. Finally reaching the bottom he landed flat on the ground like a starfish. “What did I say...” He hissed before standing up. His joints ached, but that was something he was use too, thankfully the kitchen was literally next to the stairs so it wasn’t painful of a walk.
Before waddling into the kitchen Chan looked around the living room, it was pretty bland. There were two couches, one in front of a fire place and the other against the wall, but for some reason the whole atmosphere was off. He couldn’t placed his finger on it, it wasn’t bad nor was it good. Still it felt like he was suppose to expect something. Forgetting about the food he slowly made his way to the living room. His fingertips grazed the couches’s seats. They felt cold and empty like someone was missing. “Oh right..” he whispered. He was missing his lover again like usual. Shaking his head at his silly mistake Chan straighten his back and began to walk towards the kitchen before he felt a small tug on his finger. Looking down he was met with a bright thin yellow string, but what was odd was that the string was radiating magic. Lifting his hand Chan examined the string a bit more. The first thing he noticed was the scent it was giving off. It reeked that of blood, very pungent, but ignoring the horrid smell the more he found an underlining scent. Behind the blood was the scent of fresh pine trees. The next thing he uncovered was the magic itself. One thing was for sure this magic didn’t belong to a human. The magic was dark and violent like a demon’s. This unexpectedly sent shivers down Chan’s spine, what if this random string of fate was gonna make him pair up with a demon? No way in hell was that gonna happen. From what he remembers is that demons were ruthless and would suck the life force out of any creature. Another thing was he wasn’t ready to move on.
While Chan was carefully in his thoughts he felt another tug, but he dismissed it. Then came another tug, but it was stronger and made Chan fall to the floor. “Holy fuck-“
Falling flat on his face he felt yet again another tug, but it was softer. Snapping his head towards the source he saw the string being connected to the couch. “What” He muttered before the string pulled him closer to the couch. Once at the couch he saw nothing, but the scent was more visible. Confused he got a bit closer to it, maybe the magic was hidden within the pillows. Removing all pillows again there was nothing except for the string, but it seemed like the string wasn’t tied to the couch and more like a guideline. Suddenly he heard a voice.
“The name’s Changbin” The voice spoke.
This freaked him out. Who the hell was Changbin? Why was he hearing this? Why his couch? Why did he have this string on his finger? With many questions he got onto his knees and pressed his ear into the seat. Hoping more information will come, but it didn’t. Though the string stayed and in fact glowed a bit brighter as if it was telling him something. Now Chan was truly confused, but something deep within him told him to keep that information close. Changbin was the name he had to remember, but who was he? It did sound like he just met the guy so maybe soon he would meet him. “Sounds like-“ Before Chan got to finish his sentence he suddenly felt a pounding migraine.
“Crap.. I overdid it..” He whined. Chan unfortunately without knowing tried to think which resulted in a painful migraine. He waited for it to pass and thankfully it only lasted for a few seconds, but to Chan it felt like ages. Once it was over he knew he couldn’t use his brain to come up with solutions. Letting out a sigh of defeat, he began to rise from his position until it spoke again.
“Let me go please!” Changbin cried out. “Please! I’m harmless!” Chan flinched at his pleads. He wanted to help he really did, but his pessimistic self thinks it’s his fault for getting into trouble and needed to face the consequences. Wincing from the sounds Chan turned his back to the couch, but he didn’t move. He just stared at the wall across from him really unsure of what to do.
As if on cue the room grew silent, all noises outside came to an abrupt stop. The air became stale. Every breathe Chan drew in as painful, it felt like shards like glass piercing his lungs. He was startled he didn’t know why the atmosphere suddenly shifted. He saw how some black was leaking in from the wall in front of him. “What the-“ He assumed his mind was probably playing with him. Til he felt a huge wave of magic course through his body and it wasn’t friendly. Letting out a scream he felt his skin rip apart then the very same scent of blood filled his nose. Soon his vision began to darken with the world spinning around him, it was so maddening. He didn’t know why this was happening to him. “Please stop!” Chan chokes out. How badly did Chan wanted to throw up after each wave a new one would come and it wouldn’t stop. It was overwhelming him.
On his knees, with the little vision he had left, he saw how the ground would glitch. It would shift into grass then back to his hard wooden floor. Before he could say anything three figures appeared his in living room, but their figures flickered meaning they weren’t actually here. Nonetheless Chan watched it unfold.
It started off with the supposedly Changbin guy, he didn’t know because he was wearing a cloak. He was walking around appearing to be lost. He walked around for a few more minutes til he came across two human knights. Chan growled at the sight of them. Not getting the same memo Changbin walked up to them and asked for directions. “Excuse me” His voice was ruff.
The two knights turned around. “Yes?”
“I’m a bit lost perhaps you could tell me where to go?”
Both of them gave a side eye to each other. Coughing, he looked at Changbin with sharp eyes full blown knowing he wasn’t human. “Sure? Where ya heading?”
Taken back from the question Changbin looked flustered. “Oh! I’m sorry I can’t tell you..” He muttered.
Now the knights looked at each with amusement, looked like they hit the jackpot. The other one, he was a bit shorter than the other assuming he was younger. Placed an arm around Changbin this of course startled him. But with a small smirk he told Changbin. “Hey don’t worry! Well help you anyway! Just come with us” Chan wanted to rip both of their spines out right then and there because he knew this was a trap, but again not getting the memo Changbin followed them. Poor boy was to naive because the next thing he knew, he was getting the shit beaten out of him. Then followed the same cries Chan heard before, but now with a visual. It pained him to see this poor kid being treated like this. With one last outcry the image flickered away leaving Chan alone. After seeing that horrible visual Chan dam knew well he had to save that kid. Slamming his fist against the floor, he stood up and looked at the string. The string was the same, but the magic had slightly changed. Instead of intense it became more melancholy.
Chan rubbed his temples as he felt pressure. He knew his emotions were truly reaching their limit. He could feel his veins popping out of his head. If it weren’t for his self control he would’ve shifted by now. But that wasn’t the point now, the point is he had to save the kid and if he wanted to save this kid he knew he had to keep it low key. And the only way of not being caught he had to hide his true nature, meaning his ember eyes.
After a few minutes he returned with his pair of sunglasses on, feeling a bit safer and confident. Now he turned his attention to the front door. The previous steps were easy to follow through, but now he had to get that ass out that door. Chan sighed dreading this moment. Walking up to the door he placed his hand on the door knob and a sudden wave of warm energy hit him. Unlike before where the magic overwhelmed him, this time it was easier on him and instead the scent of blood the scent of fresh pines filled up his senses. Closing his eyes he dug through the energy and soon pinpointed at what he was feeling. It was the feeling change. It did make sense as to why he was feeling this way. For starters he was gonna save this random person he never met and has this string of fate on his finger insisting. Moreover he was gonna do something big. Ever since that fateful day of meeting Woojin his life became idle. Always staying by his side letting him handle whatever Chan wanted to do, without violence. But now he’s here ready to risk his tail and seemed like his burnout had faded away because he could feel his ‘thoughts’ creeping in. Chan knew he had to get out of here fast.
Genteelly turning the doorknob and cracking the door ever so slightly open, the sunlight was quick to enter. Even with sunlight entering, Chan saw everything around him suddenly turn black. He pulled back from the doorknob watching it be consume by the dark. “Oh! For fucks sake!” He cried out. Charging at the door he slammed himself against it hoping it would break open, but it didn’t. Chan continued to do this before the door disappear into the void. He was trapped. He didn’t understand why this was happening- No, he knew why. His ‘thoughts’ had figured out what was happening. They understood he was trying to escape without their consent. So they warp his mind and are making him see this! This was all fake, but why did it feel so real?
Suddenly he felt himself shaking uncontrollably, looking down he saw his hands shake with so much fear Chan thought they might fall off. Never in his life had he experienced this type of dark or fear. This fear he felt was gut-wrenching, he felt his insides go up in flames it was terrible. His senses were put on full blast. He could hear every sound, smell every creature in the distance, see everything. It was overloading him. Chan tried to call out, but he couldn’t his voice was missing.
At this point Chan began to hyperventilate, but there was no sound. He had to figure out how he could escape this mess. He went through this many times, but why. Why? Why is it so hard right now! “Cmon you can do this..” Trying to encourage himself. Then the voices began to pile up.
‘No you can’t’
A voice spoke.
‘Give up’
Then another.
“I can’t-“
‘Go back inside’
And another.
The pressure also began to rise, he could feel it behind his eyes. It was harming him. Collapsing from the pressure, he felt his body becoming deadly cold. His eyes slowly closing. Maybe he should listen to them maybe they’ll be nicer to him.
“Hey Chan” A familiar voice spoke. “You know better than to sleep on the floor”
Soon a couple of fingers brushed Chan’s face. They were warm and he could feel the warmth spreading. His eyes fluttered open and he was face to face with a familiar face. He did nothing, but gaze. It was so sudden and so many emotions came over him. Woojin was in front of him. The same Woojin before his demise. “Woojin” Chan whispered not believing at what he was seeing.
“Hey there puppy, need some help?”
Still star struck he just nodded. Woojin let out a small chuckle and Chan swears it was the most precious thing in the world. Before he knew it he was standing up, still surrounded by darkness, but he wasn’t afraid he had his light, his Woojin.
Then the door merge out of the darkness he was able to leave. Looking at the door then back to his lover Chan suddenly felt a pit of guilt in his stomach.
Woojin reading his mind. “It’s ok I won’t be your only light, now go save them” He said patting Chan’s back.
Not fully registering his words Chan went up to the door and pulled it wide open. Not looking back he ran, he ran out of there. He could feel the darkness try to pull him back, but he resisted. He couldn’t see where he was going, but it felt right.