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Mika hated being a vampire.
He hated the thirst that was ever present. He hated the emptiness of losing emotions. He hated the coldness of his dead body. He hated being stuck in time when everything around him seemed to be moving on. And worse of all, he hated how weak and vulnerable he became in Yuu’s arms, how easily he broke when Yuu ran his fingers through his hair while he whispered reassurances in his ear, how he succumbed at the way Yuu held him closer, how he yearned for the hand circling his waist that promised that he was there for Mika and he wasn’t planning on ever letting go.
Mika was supposed to be the strong one, the one that was always level-headed and the one that was going to protect Yuu from all his enemies. He had been honed as a weapon and a machine by Krul and Ferid and all those vampires underground, a cold-hearted monster that would do whatever was necessary to ensure that his most precious person was happy and safe, an unbeatable warrior that would save the only man he ever lived for from whatever dangers fate threw at them.
And still, all that cold façade would crumble to dust with any smile, any touch that Yuu provided for him so selflessly. It was like Yuu knew that deep-down, Mika was touch-starved and in need of affection and reassurance, and he was too happy to provide those. And Mika was too weak to deny him in any form.
But nothing could be compared to the times when he drank Yuu’s blood, so thick, so warm and filling, when all his walls disappeared and he couldn’t muster the strength to fight. He would allow his instincts to take over and his mind went back to when he was an innocent 8 year-old who had just been so excited for getting a new family member on Christmas.
Mika was so weak, not being able to deny Yuu and not being able to protect him from the horrors of war. And Yuu, knowing what was going on in Mika’s mind, would just smile at him and kiss his forehead, promising forever togethers and eternal acceptance and love.
Mika was weak. But for Yuu, he vowed to become stronger.