Chapter Text
She sneaked into the fire escape stairwell, the sensor for the alarm having been broken and gathering dust. Drips of water slowly trickle down the walls, mould growing on the most travelled paths. The roof was not wholly watertight nor maintained in this uninhabited section of the building. She bounced up the stairs, her footsteps echoing down the many flights of stairs, at least several stories. Her foot landed in a puddle collected on a stair, splashing all the sludge and muddy water all on her socks and shoes. She continued regardless.
She reached the top, her breaths heavy but controlled. All the days running had served her well in some respect. She fumbled with the handle, rusted and sticking, until it finally gave way with a shove.
The door swung open revealing the small rooftop. She stepped out and gasped at the blinking cacophony of multicoloured lights stretching all the way to the horizon. She spun and spun, so much information for the senses. Running to the edge of the roof, she leans over the small wall between her and a multi-storey drop. The muffled sounds of the streets rose from below: people chatting and laughing with their friends on a night out, cars speeding down the narrow streets in the forest of buildings, and small dogs yipping and barking at one another as they passed each other on the pavement. So much noise!
She couldn’t have helped but grin. Her mind was buzzing. For once there was something actually worth being awake for. Something worth experiencing. She took a deep breath through her nose. Her mouth began to drool, her tongue fighting to be released onto all the lovely carts of food, into every restaurant. Fat dripping of deep-fried fish and squid. Salt poured into every dish. Sugar and sweets and chocolate and cake.
Never had she seen such bountiful feasts, food which could give you diabetes and experiences to die happy with. Everyone was bright-eyed and alive. Everyone seemed to be having the time of their lives.
Why couldn’t I?
Her mind rattled with that realisation. The stark difference of her own life and those of the people walking below. She heaved herself onto the wall and sat with her legs dangling over the edge. Her heart picked up pace, a surge of adrenaline coursed through her veins. The building was several stories, plenty high enough to injure and kill someone.
Perhaps if I couldn’t have their life…
She leaned further forward, balancing on the tipping point and gently rocking. Her heart clenched with every lean, sparking her body and lighting her mind like a Christmas tree.
…at least I could watch.