Chapter Text
“No dead cops you crazy Russian bitch!” Karkat barked at her. “Why did I bring you two along anyway?”
Vriska grinned. “Because no one can shoot like me and no one can drive like my preeyatyel even if their legs work.”
I can't believe someone with bum legs is driving this deathtrap, Karkat thought to himself desperately. He was in the back seat of the heavily modified Model A, holding onto a large barrel of river-rum with one hand and his hat with the other. City roads were not built for cars going this fast, so he was getting rattled around and rather car-sick. The sirens following them had his nerves shot. Having Tavros drive and Vriska loading a Thomson didn't do much to calm him down. He didn't like the grin she had on her face.
She grabbed the edge of the roof, leaned out, and opened fire. Karkat winced as he felt his ears ring and a couple of spent shells fell in the back seat with him. Tavros looked back at Karkat.
“That...uh...means something like friend.”
“Watch the fucking road!”
“Oh! Sorry.” Tavros reached next to the shifter and leaned on another lever. The car started speeding up again.
Unbelievable. One for gas, one for the brake, and one for shifting gears. He worked them with one hand and steered with the other. And they were still outrunning the police.
Karkat found himself slightly relieved that he could still hear the siren. At least she didn't kill anyone with that last round of gunfire. No one that he knew of anyway. Vriska looked at Karkat like she was reading his mind. Maybe she was. There were rumors about her.
“The bulls knew what they were getting into.” She sneered.
She leaned out of the window and opened fire again, emptying the rest of the drum. This time the siren faded into the distance. Karkat looked like he was going to be sick.
“I swear to God, if you just murdered...”
“Relax. I just...murdered their car. Poof. Steam cloud.” She waved her hand.
Karkat sighed and rubbed his face.
“Alright, fuckin...alright. Tavros, slow down when we turn that corner. Last thing we need now is to get fucking busted for speeding.”
“Okay boss.”
*
Sollux popped the hood of their cruiser. He took off his police cap and waved the steam out of his face.
“Well, looks like the motor is shot. Literally,” he groused.
A newly sworn in Aradia was sitting in the passenger seat, poking a finger through the new hole in her shiny new police hat.
“First Sargent Equius and now this. It's been a heck of a first day. You know the most charming people, Sollux.”
“Yeah, sorry about old horse-face. He's an ass and a hemo-facist.”
“He smells terrible too.” She laughed. “I don't think I've ever seen someone sweat that much before.”
“You're awfully calm for someone who just got shot at. By the Mad Russian no less.”
“I'm screaming in the inside, I assure you.” She said it coolly, but her hands were shaking a little.
Sollux walked over and laid a hand on her shoulder.
“Hey, you did good. If it makes you feel any better, it doesn’t get much worse than this. If you got through today, the rest of your job should be easy.”
Aradia lifted her hand up and placed it on Sollux's
“Thanks. That helps, believe it or not.”
“After a day like today, I don't think anyone is going to think any less of you if you ask for a desk-job instead.”
Aradia just shook her head.
“No. I know what I signed up for. I just wasn't expecting to get it all at once.”
“Well, at least we broke down outside a burger place. Think you can eat anything after that?”
“Thanks, but I really just want to get back to the station now.”
“Well, we better start walking then. Going to take us about half-an-hour to get there on foot. Help me get this hunk of scrap off the road. You steer.”
Sollux leaned on the back of the car and they slowly maneuvered it to the side of the road. Once it was out of the way of the rest of traffic, or at least where traffic would be when the sun came up, Aradia stepped out and brushed off her uniform. It was deep blue with bright brass accents, unlike Sollux's which was getting a bit faded and tarnished.
“Have you met Detective Leijon yet?”
“I don't think so.”
“She's a strange one. You might like her though.”
“Strange?”
“She has a thing for cats.”
“Cats?”
“And trashy romance books.”
“Oh my.”
*
The Loaded Key was one of the more popular jazz clubs in the city. Though it was quiet during the day, things kicked up after the sun set and stayed kicked up until sunrise. There was music, dancing, and the occasional magic show and fortune telling.
There was also a basement.
It was actually more like a cave. It was under most of the basements in the city, and it was huge. About forty feet by eighty, crammed with large tables and chairs, and a long bar running down one wall. Down there, people gambled, smoked, and most importantly in this dry city, drank. Despite the late hour, the club was closed and empty.
Almost empty.
Karkat came down a long ramp off of one side of the great room, rolling a barrel in front of him. Tavros wheeled behind him in his wheelchair, and Vriska brought up the rear with her hands in her pockets and her gun tucked under her arm. Karkat stopped the barrel and scanned the room. His eyes fell on four figures sitting around a table playing cars.
“Hey! Give me a hand you assholes!” Karkat shouted across the room.
Dave Strider was the first to look up.
“Well, since you asked so nicely...”
Dave had striking blond hair and dark glasses. Unlike the three trolls that walked in, who were wearing gray pinstripe suits with Vriska in a long trench-coat, Dave was dressed in deep, solid black. His instrument case was sitting next to his chair. No one could blow a sax like Dave, and he was as quick as a cat with a knife.
John and Jade looked over as well. They were almost twins, in looks and in personality, except for their different genders. Black hair and glasses and silly, bucktooth grins. They looked like they should have been running a library, not doing the wetwork for a gang of bootleggers. Fact was that Jade could shoot the wings off of a fly from fifty yards, and John could put someone down on the ground for good with one swing of his hammer. John played the piano for their little jazz sessions, and Jade plucked a double bass.
“Hey Karkat!” John grinned and waved. “Run into any trouble?”
“Yes we ran into fucking trouble. The cops chased us halfway through the city.”
Jade frowned “No one got hurt, did they?”
“Says the girl who dropped two guys three days ago.”
“That was different! They started shooting first!” Jade stuck her tongue out at Karkat.
“Ditzy bitch!”
“Fuckass!”
John ignored the argument and looked at Vriska “You didn't use that thing, did you?” John motioned to her machine gun.
“Relax krasavets, no one got hurt. That I know of.” She smiled.
The fourth card player, a blond girl in a brightly colored dress and lot of jewelry, looked over her shoulder at Vriska with a raised eyebrow. She knew what that word meant.
“You mean to tell me you, of all people, weren’t shooting to kill?”
Vriska smiled like a snake. “No, Gypsy Rose. I'm a good girl now. Reformed from my murderous ways!”
Rose gave Vriska a look that showed she didn't believe a word of it.
John shrugged. “She said she didn't. That's good enough for me.”
Rose sighed and turned back to her cards.
“We prefer Romani,” Rose said almost as an afterthought.
“Come off it!” Karkat snapped, managing to stop trading profanities with Jade long enough to point a finger at Rose. “We all know your mother was old money.”
“Maybe, but the...act...is good for business.” Rose smirked.
Besides playing the violin, Rose made some good money as a fortune teller. She had a crystal ball and all smoky incense and trappings one needed to create a mystical atmosphere. She even had a foreign accent she brought out just for the customers. It was mostly just psychology. Telling someone what they wanted to hear. But Rose had a deck of Tarot cards in a plain white box that could tell frighteningly accurate truths sometimes. She chalked it up to “Gypsy magic” when asked about it, but she handed out fortunes from that deck sparingly. The truth rarely made her popular.
“Having booze is good for business, so will you fuckers wash some bottles out and empty this thing already?” Karkat snapped again, kicking the barrel hard enough to roll it forward a few inches.
John looked at Dave, who shrugged. They both walked over and started to roll the barrel behind the bar.
“Did ...uh...you four manage to find anything?” Tavros finally spoke up.
Jade smiled wide. “Three cases of wine! Kanaya got a tip.”
“Oh God, don't tell Gamzee or it won't last until tomorrow. Where are those two anyway?”
Jade chewed a fingernail in thought, but it was Rose who spoke up.
“Kanaya is upstairs, putting together a song list for tomorrow. I think Gamzee is sleeping off a bottle of cheap red. He was asleep with a bottle in his hand when I got here anyway.”
“We're both done,” came a silky soft voice from the stairway. Kanaya was descending the stairs in a shimmering floor length green dress. Kanaya was always one who paid attention to her appearance. It was her looks and her voice that drew the crowds in during the night.
Gamzee was at the top of the stairs leaning on the railing. He wore a gray suit like the other trolls, but it was wrinkled and the collar was unbuttoned. His hair was a perpetual mess. Gamzee, besides being the son of a bishop, was such a regular customer that he became part of the gang through sheer attendance. Karkat complained about his uselessness, as he was almost constantly drunk or asleep, but kept him around anyway. After seeing Gamzee get into a fight, angry and sober, with a couple of rival gang members, Karkat decided that, if nothing else, he didn't want Gamzee as an enemy. It took them hours of scrubbing to clean up the mess.
“I heard you ran into some trouble,” Kanaya said, crossing her arms.
“I heard you had some blood of Christ,” Gamzee said, grinning.
“That stuff is for paying customers, you wino. You know the rules. No free drinks,” Karkat said shortly.
“Aw, alright.” Gamzee reached into his pocket. “How much?”
Karkat looked at Jade. He didn't see what they brought in.
“It's pretty classy stuff,” she said, looking apologetically at Gamzee. “It's ten years old.”
“Three bucks,” Karkat said to Gamzee. “You'll get some of it back when we split the profits,” he added upon seeing Gamzee's frown.
Gamzee shrugged, lobbed three silver coins into Karkat's waiting hand and started down the stairs to get his purchase. Money had never been a problem for Gamzee.
Kanaya tapped her foot. “As much as I hate to interrupt your business...”
“No one got hurt, Kanaya. They...had a breakdown a couple miles from here,” Karkat said
“A breakdown.”
“Yeah, a break down. Don't look at me like that.”
“You do know I overheard Vriska saying she shot it up.”
“Sounds like a common fucking breakdown in this city.”
Vriska smiled up at her. “Talking like I'm not even here? I'm hurt.”
Kanaya sighed. “I'm sorry Vriska, but you always make me nervous when you go out on these...errands. Hearing things like this don't put me at ease."
“As you can see, I'm fine, Ms. Fussyfangs.”
“But for how long, Vriska? You shoot at people. They shoot back. How long does your luck last?”
Vriska frowned. “What's it to you?”
“I'm your friend, Vriska...”
“Then be my friend. Don't be my mother.” Vriska turned and started to walk out. “I'm going out for a while. I'll be back for breakfast.”
“To the casino again?” Kanaya crossed her arms.
“Yes, my sovests, thank you for your concern,” Vriska said irritably.
Vriska disappeared up the ramp she followed Karkat down. Kanaya just sighed. She looked around and noticed that everyone was curiously interested in something other than looking at her. She blushed slightly, realizing that everyone was just listening to her fuss over Vriska. Karkat decided to show her a little mercy.
“Kanaya, go take stock. Make sure we have enough booze to open tomorrow.”
“I...uh...right.”
“I'm right back here already Kar...” John waved his hand.
“And I want Kanaya to do it, Egbert! I don't trust you to get past ten without taking off your shoes. Kanaya, move it.”
Kanaya nodded and swept into the back room behind the bar.
Karkat sighed and sat down at the same bar. He reached into his pocket and dropped a quarter on the table. Karkat followed his own rules.
“Egbert, make me a whiskey sour will ya? I need a drink after tonight.”
“Sure, Karkat.”
“Oh, hey, this IS good stuff,” Gamzee said, sniffing the bottle he just uncorked. He grinned and took a pull directly from the bottle.
“You're a classless bum, Gamzee,” Karkat said.
“Fuckin' right.” Gamzee agreed.
*
By the time Sollux and Aradia made it back to the station, the morning sun was just peeking over the horizon.
“You've been quiet,” Sollux noted, “Still a little shaken up?”
“Yes, but it's not that. I caught a glimpse of that driver. I think I've seen him before...”
“Oh? I don't remember his name, but we can ask the sergeant to pull the file on him when he's done reaming us out.”
Aradia laughed.
“Reaming you out for what?”
Aradia and Sollux both looked over and saw Equius standing in the doorway. Equius was very spit-and-polish. His buttons shone and his uniform was always neatly pressed. He did everything by the book, even if the book had been printed a hundred years ago. Sollux always suspected that the sergeant was a wild man when he was off duty. With his sweating when he became nervous or confronted with something that went against his worldview, Equius gave the impression of someone who was just resisting dropping the whole moral high-ground.
The two junior officers instinctively snapped into a salute.
Equius sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Rumor had it that he hadn't been sleeping well. His eyes certainly showed it.
“Alright, what kind of trouble did our red-blood recruit manage to get into on her first day?”
Aradia visibly bristled at having her blood color mentioned. Sollux preemptively cut her off.
“We ran into Vriska, sir.”
“And you went after her without backup, I assume.”
“Well...” Sollux went on, “...we were trying to pull over a car that's been seen transporting liquor in the past. We didn't know Vriska was in it until she opened fire. She...uh...she shot up the engine.”
“She what?! Do you have any idea how much money it takes to fix those things?” Equius roared.
“We're fine.” Aradia said sharply. “Sir.”
Equius gave her a bewildered look. She held her gaze angrily on his face. He started sweating.
“Permission to get a new hat?” Aradia said finally.
“Hrmp...granted.” Equius recovered. “As a matter of fact, both of you get cleaned up. The chief and the mayor are going to be here any minute.”
“What? Why?” Sollux asked in a confused tone.
“I don't question my superiors, Captor,” Equius said angrily. “I advise you to do the same. Now move! I need to think of how I'm going to ask for another car and I do my thinking better when I don't have to deal with incompetent warm-bloods.”
Aradia snapped off another sharp salute and walked out of the room, clenching her fists. Sollux followed close behind her.
“Lord knows he needs all the help he can get.” Aradia hissed just loud enough for Sollux to hear.
Sollux laughed.
As they walked down the hall, Sollux stopped and motioned Aradia to follow him down another hallway. They opened a door into an unlabeled back office.
Aradia was wondering what Sollux was doing until she spotted a slightly built girl sitting on the desk and reading a small book. She was so deep into the story that she didn't notice anyone walk in. Sollux cleared his throat and she jumped, quickly putting the book down.
“Hi! You must be the new recruit!” She grinned.
“Yes. Aradia Megido. And you are?”
“Nepeta Leijon.”
“You're Detective Leijon? You don't look like a detective.”
“That's kind of the point. I work undercover.”
Nepeta certainly didn't look like an official. She wore an old coat and pants that were far too big on her tiny frame, along with a pair of fingerless gloves. If anything, she looked like a homeless person. Even through the baggy clothes, Aradia could tell that she had the body of an athlete. She must have gotten into her fair share of fights.
Sollux looked back at Nepeta.
“Hey look. Equius is probably going to want you to clean up. The mayor and the chief are going to be showing up.”
“Feferi is coming here?!” Nepeta got up off the desk and started jumping up and down excitedly.
“With Chief Ampora. Don't get too excited.”
Nepeta stopped jumping and slumped.
“Ug. I hate him. The way he looks at me makes me feel like I need a shower.”
“He does that to everyone, Nepeta.”
“Yeah, that makes me feel better.” Nepeta rolled her eyes.
During this exchange, Aradia and moved around behind them and picked up the book Nepeta had been reading. When Nepeta noticed her standing there, she was reading where Nepeta had left off. Aradia's face was bright red.
“Hey. Gimmie that!” Nepeta snatched the book out of her hand.
Aradia blinked. “How do you get away with reading these things at work!?”
“I keep these in my office for a reason.”
“Well you should keep them in a plain brown bag. In a safe,” Aradia said, still a little flustered.
Nepeta gave her a nasty look, but on that cherubic face, the effect was somewhat lost.
“Alright, alright.” Nepeta threw her hands up. “Let Equius know I'll be out in fifteen minutes. Now get. I need to change.”
“Why did you cross out the names and write in-”
“I said scram!” Nepeta, with surprising strength, shoved them both out the door.
Aradia blinked a few times as the door slammed shut behind them.
“You were right, Sollux. She is an odd one.”
“Couldn't have a better officer watching your back though. And she's a nice girl most of the time.”
“I believe you. Really.”
Aradia needed some time to find a new hat that fit her mass of long hair.
“Hasn't Equius been getting on your case about your hair?” Sollux asked.
“Yes. I told him I would cut my hair when he cut his. He hasn't asked about it since then.”
“Heh.”
By the time Aradia had found a suitable hat and Sollux had polished some of the tarnish off of his uniform, there were, to Aradia's surprise, three trolls in the lobby talking with Equius.
The one that Aradia picked out as the mayor was a surprisingly tall, thin troll with round glasses and a look of almost maniacal good nature on her face. She looked very excitable and animated, moving her hands around a lot when she talked.
Chief Ampora was a different story. He had large, thick rimmed glasses and looked constantly irritated. Aradia noticed that he wore a lot of accessories. Rings, watch-chains, gaudy cufflinks. He was someone who needed to be noticed.
The unexpected guest was another female troll, but with a sharp blue suit and red tinted glasses. She leaned against the reception desk, listening to everyone talk with a toothy grin on her face. She made Aradia nervous. The third troll looked like a shark, gently circling and looking for an opportunity to move in for the kill.
It was the third troll that noticed Sollux and Aradia standing at attention in the doorway.
“Is that your new officer, Sergeant?” She asked, thumbing at Aradia.
Equius took looked at where she was pointing.
“Uh...yes. Officer Megido, come over her for a minute...please.”
Aradia decided that, despite his behavior earlier, she wasn't going to give Equius a hard time. She walked briskly over to where he was standing and threw the chief a sharp salute. He smiled leeringly and saluted back. Aradia immediately knew what Nepeta was talking about earlier. He looked like a desperate, sleazy person.
Aradia then turned and threw a salute at the mayor. Feferi gave her a huge grin and waved.
“Mayor Piexes, Chief Ampora, this is Officer Megido. She just signed on with us yesterday.” Equius said.
Feferi gasped and immediately looked concerned. “I heard you ran into trouble out there! Is everything okay?”
“No injuries ma'am. Officer Captor was with me as well.”
She heard a click behind her as, she assumed, Sollux threw a salute as well.
“Well, that's good. Sollux is a good officer to have watching out for you. Hopefully Sergeant Zahhak here hasn't been giving you too hard a time.” She looked meaningfully at Equius, who began to sweat visibly. Aradia took some small amount of pity on him.
“No more than any other boss I've had at any other job, ma'am.”
Feferi smiled and Equius exhaled.
“Glad to hear it! Equius tends to ride his officers hard, but only because I'm sure he thinks them capable of it. He never asks for anything he doesn’t expect from himself.”
Aradia didn't quite believe that, but she kept her mouth shut and just nodded.
“For example, he expects his officers to know everyone in the room already,” came a voice over to the side.
Equius winced. “Forgive me. Officer Megido, this is Terezi Pyrope, prosecuting attorney.”
A lawyer, that explained a lot. Aradia didn't know what the protocol was for attorneys, but she figured it was better to be safe than sorry and threw Terezi a salute as well. Terezi threw an exaggerated salute back in response with a big grin on her face. Feferi giggled.
“Terezi here gets involved whenever Vriska is brought up. She'd just like to ask the two of you a few questions, while Eridan, Equius, and I sort out what to do about your car,” she said.
Aradia and Sollux nodded, and they both turned and followed Terezi to the other side of the lobby. At some point, Nepeta had snuck in wearing a neatly tailored green suit and was following Sollux. She jogged over to Aradia and stood on her toes to whisper in her ear.
“Don't worry too much about Terezi. She looks scary, and acts that way sometimes too, but she treats her friends well.”
Aradia just nodded and they gathered in a circle.
“Now,” Terezi clapped her hands together and turned to Aradia, “what do you know about Vriska already?”
“Um...I know she's called the Mad Russian. She's violent, mercenary, and I think I heard that she has a gambling problem. Oh, and she shot a hole in my hat.”
“Better than your head.” Terezi grinned. Aradia had to agree. Terezi continued.
“A few things you might not know then. She was fighter in the Russian Civil War on the side of the anti-Bolsheviks. She was a young teen when she picked up a gun and joined the fight. Now she has ties with the Midnight Crew and works for Karkat Vantas.”
“Who?”
Nepeta spoke up this time. “He's the head of a gang of bootleggers, ones that usually keep their head down. They're pretty low on our priority list.”
“We were all surprised when Vriska started working for Karkat,” Sollux said, “He's not usually the kind of person to use Vriska's methods.”
“If you know that she's working for them, why don't you just go arrest them?”
“Knowing and proving are two different things.” Terezi frowned. “I tried to put Vriska away on murder a year ago. It got dropped.”
“You never got over that, did you?” Nepeta asked.
“No! She was guilty as sin and she got off on a stupid technicality!” She glared. “Point is that we can't move until we have some solid proof.”
Aradia look worried. “I don't think I'm going to be much help...”
Terezi calmed down a bit. “Look, I'm not expecting you to hand me a signed confession. I just want to know what direction she was coming from when you saw her and what direction she was driving when you lost her.”
“Well, she wasn't driving. She was too busy shooting at us.”
Terezi waved her hand dismissively.
“I misspoke. Tavros was probably driving but that's not-”
“Tavros! That's who that was! I knew I recognized him!” Aradia shouted. Now everyone in the room was looking at her. Aradia started to look embarrassed but Terezi held up her hand to stop her from apologizing.
“You know Tavros Nitram?” she asked.
“Knew him is more accurate. We were friends when we were younger. We practically grew up together, but we lost touch years ago.” She rubbed her head. “Good God, what's someone like Tavros doing with Vriska?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, Tavros was always...” Aradia tried to think of how to say this diplomatically, “...he wasn't an aggressive person by any stretch of the word. He spent his time...doing things like reading stories.”
Terezi looked at Nepeta and Sollux with a wide grin, then she looked back at Aradia.
“Think you can find out what your old friend has been up to?”
“Sure, I can knock on some doors.”
By this time, Feferi had walked over to the group. “You'll do better than that. We'll turn the investigation over to you.”
“Me?” Aradia said, surprised.
“Her?” Eridan and Equius said at the same time, even more surprised. Feferi turned on them.
“Well you two haven't been able to go anywhere with it. She knows people that are currently close to Vriska, and if she wanted to do any investigating, she would have to do it through you two. I'm cutting out the middle troll and putting her in charge.” She turned back to Aradia. “Well?”
“With all due respect ma'am, I'm...inexperienced.”
She looked at the two trolls behind Feferi. While Equius simply looked flustered and slightly annoyed, the look Eridan was giving her was positively venomous. He must have had a lot riding on this investigation.
“It might be better to leave something this important in the hands of more senior officers.” Aradia added.
“Nonsense!” Feferi waved her hand. “It might be good to have a fresh look at this case.”
“Feferi, I have to agree with her,” Eridan said. Aradia noted how he used her first name. “I'm close to pinning her down, and having a rookie involved will only throw all my hard work off.”
Feferi turned on him. “You've been 'close to pinning her down' for months, Eridan! We tried it your way. Now we're going to let Officer Megido here take a look into it and I want your cooperation! Will I get it?”
“Feferi, I really don't think this is a good...”
“Eridan!”
Eridan sighed. “Okay, okay, I'll send her my files. Under protest.”
“Noted.” Feferi bit off the word. She looked at Equius. “Any problems?”
Equius saluted. “No ma'am. She's one of my officers and will have my full support on the matter.”
“Good!” She clapped her hands and turned back to Aradia. “Well? I know it's a big demand for someone so new, but will you take the case?”
Aradia looked at each troll one by one. Eridan was still looking angry. Equius' face was hard to read, but it wasn't annoyed. Terezi was smirking, Nepeta looked like she was about to burst from glee and Sollux looked more nervous than anything else. Aradia turned to Feferi.
“I won't let you down, ma'am.”
*
Rose was still sitting at the table from before when Kanaya walked up and sat down. She had been in the back room taking stock of their inventory, and by the time she had finished, most everyone else had gone home or were engrossed in their own things. John and Dave were washing glasses and Jade was tormenting Karkat about...something Kanaya didn't catch. Tavros and Gamzee had left. Rose looked up at Kanaya.
“Should we be okay for tomorrow?”
“Between what you and Karkat brought in and what just came out of the still, we should be fine.” Kanaya nodded, but despite the good news, she chewed her lip nervously.
“What's bothering you, Kanaya?”
“What? Oh. Nothing.”
“You have many talents, Kanaya, but lying isn't one of them.”
Kanaya blushed. “Actually, I wanted to ask a small favor.”
Rose raised an eyebrow in anticipation.
“Could you...tell me a fortune?”
“A two bit fortune a the dollar one?” Rose asked slowly.
“The, um, dollar fortune.”
Rose looked at Kanaya for a few seconds and then shrugged.
“You don't normally ask me for favors like this, so this one I'll give you. I give you my standard warning though.” Rose waved a finger at Kanaya. “Be careful what truths you wish for.”
Kanaya nodded. Rose reached down into her bag and pulled out a white box, about an inch thick by six inches long by four inches wide. With some ceremony, she flipped the top of the box open, tapped the bottom of the box, and then pulled out an oversized deck of cards by grabbing the inch or so that was revealed from the tap.
Rose carefully set the box to the side and shuffled the cards. It was an odd shuffled, that not only mixed the cards, but randomly flipped some around as well. Rose had a vacant, unfocused look on her face as her hands moved with practiced speed.
“What do you want the great old spirits to reveal?” she breathed. She sounded like she was half asleep.
Kanaya took a deep breath. “There are...two different people...whom I desire a future with.”
Rose gave a weak little smile, causing Kanaya to blush. Rose didn't stop shuffling.
“Matters of love, then?”
“Yes. I wish to know...which future has the most happiness?”
“Any chance you'll tell me who these two people are?”
“I'd rather not.”
“Do they know your feelings?”
“No.”
Gracefully, Rose flipped four cards on to the table. Two pairs.
One pair had the Inverted Queen of Coins and the Nine of Swords. The other pair was the Inverted Queen of Wands and the Two of Coins.
“The future of your two prospective loves,” Rose explained.
“The Inverted Queen of Coins is someone who places all value on material possessions. Someone who spends their money on showy things. Displays of wealth. This person is also suspicious of change or things that don't fit their worldview. In this persons future is deception, scandal, violence and loss.”
“Not a good choice then.” Kanaya sighed.
Rose shrugged. “All these things can be overcome. The Nine of Swords is sometimes called the card of the martyr. Suffering may give way to good things in the end.”
Rose gestured to the other pair and continued.
“The Inverted Queen of Wands is someone who can be envious, bitter, dry, and imagining threats that might not be there. The Two of Coins represents drastic change. It could be for better or for worse, but things will need to be handled carefully.”
Kanaya looked despondent. Rose gave a sad smile.
“You've always had a weakness for trouble cases, haven't you Kanaya?”
“I...suppose so.” Kanaya sighed again.
Rose thought for a few seconds.
“I'll draw one more card,” She said. “Maybe it will help clear things up.”
Rose flicked her wrist and one card slid onto the center of the table. The Tower. Rose's eyes narrowed.
“Disruption. Change. A sudden, violent loss.”
She looked up at Kanaya's face, now wearing a mask of dread.
“Looks like you may have your choice made for you.”
*
“Fifty, pass line,” Vriska said, placing her chips on the table. About ten other people, man and troll, were standing around the craps table. The stickman was a short, relaxed gentleman with a green suit and a solid, blue hat. They all threw their bets on the table. Vriska looked at the stickman. The stickman looked back at her.
“Yes?”
“The dice, sleepyhead.”
“Oh.”
The stickman showed her a small bowl of five dice. Vriska grabbed two of them. She gently rolled them around in her hand and snapped her wrist, sending them bouncing along the table. Everyone craned their heads to see the result.
After a few seconds, the stickman spoke up.
“Point is eight.”
Vriska grinned. “My lucky number.”
“We'll see.” The stickman raked the diced back in and handed them back to Vriska. Vriska didn't even bother to shake them. She just snapped her wrist again and sent them rolling. Sure enough, eight dots stared back at them.
“Ha! Pay up slowpoke.”
The stickman frowned at her, but he slowly counted out her chips and handed them to her.
“You've been winning a lot tonight.”
“I guess you can just call me Lady Luck.” Vriska smiled.
“We'll see.”
The stickman raked in the dice again and handed them to Vriska. Vriska rattled them around in her hands a second.
She froze.
Vriska rattled the dice in her hands again. She glared and the stickman, reached in her coat, and drew a revolver.
“Do you know what happened to the last stickman who tried to slip me loaded dice?”
The stickman looked down the barrel of the gun and Vriska cocked the hammer.
“Uh...no.”
“Right. Neither does anyone else!”
“Oh...shi-” The stickman was cut off by a loud bang. His head jerked backwards and he fell to the ground. Most of the back of his head was missing. The casino was dead silent. She waved her gun at the cooling green torso.
“Can I have a new stickman please? This one has a hole in it.”
She looked around the room. There was a wide circle around her. She saw more green suits coming from the back of the casino.
“On second thought, I think this game is over,” She said, tucking her gun back into her coat. She picked up her winnings and walked over to the pay counter. The poor girl working the counter was shaking violently.
“Cash me out.”
“But-”
“Now.”
The girl quickly sorted the chips by color and counted out a thick wad of money, shoving it in Vriska's hand.
“Pleasure.” Vriska smiled. She tucked the money in a pocket and stalked quickly out of the casino.
One of the green suited men watched her leave. He had a maroon hat. The man sighed. He wasn't looking forward to the boss's reaction.
*
Crowbar had only two people he considered his superiors. He stood outside the office of one of them. He took a deep breath and raised his hand to knock.
“Come in, Crowbar.”
Crowbar hated when that happened. He lowered his unused hand and opened the door.
Everything in the room was green. The carpet. The wallpaper, even the furniture were all money green. There was a green couch and a green table with a bowl of candy sitting in the middle. Crowbar never got up the nerve to have one. He walked past an antique globe as he approached the desk.
Behind the green desk sat a pale, completely bald man with a round face and a white suit. He leaned his chin on his folded hands and leveled his gaze at Crowbar. Crowbar swallowed.
“Doc Scratch, we have a problem.”
“I don't like problems, Crowbar,” Doc Scratch said, as if he was commenting on the weather.
“You don't like being left in the dark either.”
“True. Continue.”
“The Mad Russian was gambling in our casino last night.”
“She has a name, Crowbar. Vriska Serket.”
“You know her...” Crowbar pinched the bridge of his nose. Of course he knew her name. Crowbar continued.
“Anyway, she's been winning a lot of money.”
“That's not a problem. Seeing a big winner makes more people bet. We make more money in the long run,” Scratch said calmly.
“Yeah, well, Doze didn't agree with you. He tried to slip her some funny dice at the craps table.”
“I see. Tried. I'm assuming Doze is no longer with us.”
“Well...uh...yeah.”
Scratch sighed. “Vriska is...predictable. When she feels wronged, she lashes out without thinking. She seems intent on spreading the pain she feels. What happened then, Crowbar?”
“She cashed out her winnings and left.”
“You let her leave?”
“She was gone before we could get through the crowd, boss, honest.”
Doc Scratch slowly tapped his fingers together, thinking.
“Winning money is one thing, but we can not allow someone like that to strike at our organization without consequence. Other people will start getting...ideas. We are already being pressured by our boys and girls in blue, Crowbar.”
“I agree, boss. I can have the boys together in ten minutes.”
“Patience, Crowbar. I've received some interesting information late this morning.”
“What kind of information, Boss?”
“Nothing for you to worry about, Crowbar. Just remember that, while the early bird gets the worm, it's the second mouse that gets the cheese. Please let Snowman know I want to see her in an hour on your way out.”
Crowbar opened his mouth to say something, but Scratch put his hand up and cut him off.
“Don't let me detain you. I need to make some calls.”
“I...yes, boss.”
*
Night had fallen on The Loaded Key and the building was quickly filling up with patrons, upstairs and down. Although Karkat didn't like it, many customers brought their drinks upstairs to listen to music. The smoky club went quiet and four human members of Karkat's gang took the stage, along with Kanaya in the front. For a few seconds, the only sound was the occasional cough and the clinking of glass. Then the music started up, and Kanaya started singing, her fangs glinting in the darkness.
“Say, did you ever hear the saxophone, let out an awful moan, let out an awful groan?
It makes you feel so nervous, yet it's great. It's the saxophone a-callin' to its mate.
Lest we forget, The clarinet. Now listen for a minute and the birth of jazz you'll hear,
And where there is a little jazz, you'll always find me near,
For I'm a jazz vampire.”
Down in the basement room, Karkat and Gamzee tended the bar. Karkat moved with almost mechanical precision, making drinks and counting change with practiced accuracy. Gamzee worked with a little more flair, juggling bottles and pouring several drinks in quick succession. Karkat complained the first time Gamzee started his bar tricks, but Gamzee rarely dropped a bottle and the customers liked them. Sometimes they would order more complex and expensive cocktails just to see Gamzee make them.
“Shake a foot, shake a foot, shake a foot with me and dance, dance.
Dancing is my specialty. Wise men keep out o' my way.
They know I'll lead 'em astray. They fall the minute I sway.
I insist you can't resist a jazz vampire.”
When one of the cash boxes got full enough, Karkat or Gamzee would yell “Box change!” and toss the cash box into the room behind the bar. There, Tavros would catch the heavy box and toss out an empty one. He would quickly count out the money, tally it, and put it in the big, black iron safe. The now empty box would replace the next full one that got tossed back.
“Take a tip, take a tip, take a tip from me, for I am all the evil music has.
Went down to the river, stood on the bank. Shook my shoulders and the boats all sank,
For I'm the meanest kind of jazz vampire.”
Surprisingly, Vriska was nowhere to be seen. She could usually be relied upon to show a little iron at these things to keep the crowds in check. Karkat assumed that she was patrolling the area for signs of police activity. Most of the crowd knew Vriska's reputation by now and trouble was rarely raised, even if she wasn't visible at the time, so Karkat wasn't overly concerned. With how fast drink orders were coming in, he didn't have much time to think about it.
“I'm the wicked vampire of jazz...”
*
Vriska sat in her little hide-away down the street from the club. It was a small, untidy apartment in a cheap part of the city. Vriska rarely cleaned up after herself. However, she had cleared off the table and a few chairs for her company. A tall thin man and a short fat one sat at her table.
“Long time, no see, Vriska.”
“Droogs. Deuce.” she nodded to the tall man and the short man respectively.
“How's working with Karkat's boys working out for you?” Droogs asked.
Vriska shrugged. “Fun sometimes. And the money is good. I don't want to be rude, but...”
The short man chuckled. “Straight to business?”
Droogs shrugged. “Fair enough.”
He swung a long, black case on the table and flipped in open. Droogs pulled out a big, nasty looking gun. It was long, bulky, and solidly built.
“M1918 Browning Automatic Rifle, American version. Thirty-aught-six Springfield ammo in twenty round magazines. I couldn't get my hands on the forty round magazines.”
“Pity.” Vriska picked up the gun and looked down the sights with a huge grin on her face
“Twenty rounds from this thing is overkill in the first place, and I told you the forty round magazines were a long shot. You get the gun, shoulder strap, an extra barrel, ten magazines and a thousand rounds of ammo.”
“Perfect, Droogs. Same price as we agreed before?”
“Five hundred,” Droogs clarified to be sure. He found that sometimes his customers could have an awful memory for money.
“That's a lot of money.”
“That's a lot of gun.”
Vriska grinned and tossed a stack of bills on the table.
“Worth every penny.”
Deuce picked up the wad and quickly flipped through the bills with his thumb. He looked up at Droogs and nodded. Droogs nodded back. He turned to Vriska.
“Any particular reason for the purchase?”
“You, of all people, should know that it's all about style, Droogs. Dress for success. And I like looking scary. You know me. I never do anything halfway.”
She pulled the trigger and listened to the click.