Chapter Text
Far away from prying eyes, far below the radar of any mainstream news articles and TV shows. In the ever-expanding deserts of New Mexico, USA, the Black Mesa Research Facility lays dormant, and mostly undetected.
Black Mesa is rumoured to be many things. It is many things. A facility that somehow obeys every OSHA guideline in the book, a building full of horrifying aliens, scientist clones, and test tube prototypes.
And currently, Gordon Freeman and the Neo-Science Team’s personal hell.
Well, the sentiment is debatable for Benrey.
The five-strong band of scientists and security guard had been through a lot the past few days- Or had it been weeks? None of them could ever be sure, seeing as how Coomer and Bubby never quite agree on how long things had already taken. And at first, Gordon thought they could just be messing with him, but after slowly realising that neither the facility’s interior nor his companions were what they had first seemed, he stopped trying to make sense of it.
Either way, they had all been through a lot .
Everyone is on edge in their current resting spot, a hole in the roof that Bubby had scoped out a few hours back, full of nothing but crates and red lights and the safest feeling any one of them had felt since starting this insane journey. Tommy has taken to curling himself up in the corner, listing off every soda brand he knows of to an only mildly disinterested Bubby, idly spinning the cylinder of his revolver with a thumb. Gordon is getting some well-deserved shuteye, back propped up against one of the intact crates, the stub of his right arm resting in his lap. Coomer somehow decided his moment of free-time should be spent staring into the wall, and Benrey.
Benrey is outside, nowhere to be seen by the others. Staring up into the night sky like he had been ever since everyone tried getting some needed rest.
He didn’t feel like shutting his eyes with that thing in there. Out here, he has space to breathe, to lay down on his back and stare up into space without anyone tripping over his arms or telling him to sleep in a more normal position.
He has space to exist.
Or he does, until Coomer noisily scrambles up and out of the hole with a chirpy “Hello G- Benrey!” and a wave.
Benrey looks over, uninterested, but makes no protest when the old man happily takes a seat next to him, leaning back on one of the many vent systems suspended around them. Only when a good moment or so has passed does he greet the other with a simple, short,
“ hey man. ”
“You wouldn’t be adverse to some company, I hope?”
“ no, s’fine. ” Benrey gives a nod, eyes closing as he listens to Coomer momentarily shuffling against the roof surface, before it’s quiet once again.
They spend the next minutes in calm, comfortable silence. Benrey keeps himself occupied by trying to write out names of various video game titles in the stars (still keeping his eyes shut, somehow), while Coomer recites the wikipedia article for chairs over and over again in his head.
There’s a relaxing, understanding feeling in the air that surrounds them. Guard and Scientist both keep quiet, allowing the other their moment of peace.
Until, of course, Benrey allows his thoughts to escape, and mutters out in a flat, matter-of-fact tone that doesn’t match what he’s actually saying. “ i’m, like. scared? ”
Coomer hums for a moment, then gives Benrey a solemn nod.
“I assumed you were, my friend. You seemed quite eager to leave our makeshift camp back there!”
He clasps both hands on his knees, and the sound coaxes a barely noticeable flinch from Benrey as he cracks open one eye, looking over to see the doctor approach. Kneeling behind his head, placing a warm hand on his shoulder.
Benrey isn’t sure if it had been an invitation for comfort from the other, or simply coincidence, but when he’s finished speaking, the guard shuffles backwards and slips his head to lean up on Coomer’s bent legs. Coomer doesn’t seem to mind himself being used as a pillow, so Benrey takes the go-ahead to get comfy, flopping both arms over his bulletproof vest to focus on his heartbeat.
He feels a pat-pat on the front of his helmet, and half-smiles appreciatively up at the other. As obnoxious as Benrey can get, physical comfort and reassurance is one of the things he thrives off.
Coomer.. Somehow knows this. Benrey won’t ask how, because he feels it’ll surface one of the few nights he’s been too tired to hide coaxing a comforting head pat out of a half-conscious Dr. Freeman.
It’s not his fault the guy’s so warm. Damn HEV suit.
‘ hev suit’ , Benrey repeats the word phonetically in his mind, to get his thoughts off how much he’d love to be held by Gordon right now.
Keeping his voice low and easy, Coomer continues. “I.. Neglected to tell Dr. Freeman, of course. I doubt he’d have made anything easier on you, the poor man is quite stressed after you sold him out to the US military.” His voice is nonchalant, any previous grudges against the otherworldly ‘man’’s actions having either been forgotten, or forgiven. But even so, Benrey can’t help scrunching his face in confusion.
Both eyes fall open, and he looks blankly up at Coomer with a flat, barely emoting “ wha? ”
“Oh, your little… Coup, with Bubby, way back when. I d-”
Benrey lifts two fingers lazily on his right hand, signalling for Coomer to stop. And he does, pausing his train of thought as easily as if someone had climbed into his head and turned off his brain for the moment. His brain, however, is still very much whirring, and the scientist looks down for an explanation to his silencing.
And the guard, with the explanation, seems to still be working through his thoughts when he replies. “ i didn’t- huh? i didn’t sell… gordon to anyone, i don’t know what you’re talking about. ” His tone grows a dismissive bite towards the end, before he settles, and assumes this is where the conversation ends.
It isn’t.
“..Benrey, I would appreciate it if you told me the truth. I am doing my best to forgive you for that, you know,”
“ i’m being honest- all the time, always full honesty, don’t know. ”
Coomer stops. He’s aware of Benrey’s constant need to lie about blatantly obvious things, and god knows he’s persistent, but this seems... Too genuine of an emotion to be yet another lie.
Instead of pressing the matter on, he brings the subject back. “What.. Exactly is it that’s scaring you, Benrey?”
He feels the guard tilt his head, and looking down reveals Benrey is looking over at the hole their companions are safely huddled beneath. In that one moment, the boxer almost sees a fearful expression.
But Benrey seemingly shrugs it off, bringing his gaze back up to the skybox above them. “ skeleton, ” he replies, as if that one sentence has all the information Coomer could ever need.
“Skeleton?”
“ mhm. getting me to do stuff, n’shit. ”
Coomer’s eyes drift thoughtfully to the hole, digging through metaphorical and literal files of his memory to pick out the one, vivid scene that had played out just minutes ago. Back when he was laying, comfortable on the concrete floor, vision swimming before sleep swallowed him. He remembers looking over, seeing their fleshless companion flop to the ground, and seeing an immediate change in Benrey’s demeanor that almost woke him up.
He’d looked around the hole- At everyone sleeping peacefully, with such confusion and worry in his eyes, and Coomer wishes he’d have spoken up at that point.
“ hey, where’d your- … why are we here? ” He’d managed after a few seconds of standing in silence.
“ To sleep? ” Gordon had replied, it was clear to anyone who’d been watching that Benrey hadn’t been asking that.
He’d looked down. Coomer remembers watching the colour drain from the guard’s face when he finally saw the stump, and an almost worried tone had crept into his voice, replacing apathy for the first time.
“ ...what happened to your arm? ”
A blink brings the scientist back to the present. Benrey had brought his focus back onto him sometime during Coomer’s descent into his thoughts, and when they lock eyes again, neither one has to say anything.
Coomer knows. And Benrey knows he knows.
“..Oh.” His voice is quiet, almost a whisper, but it carries easily enough in the still night air. And he feels Benrey nod.
“ yeah. ”
“That’s… Quite serious, Benrey.”
Benrey opens his mouth to reply, but he can’t piece together any of the words he wants to say. It is serious, I hate it, why won’t it leave me alone, is what he thinks, but all that comes out is an uninterested hum, as he turns on his side and curls up.
He feels a hand on his back, rubbing slow and comfortingly in between the shoulder blades, and tries to focus on the contact. Breathing steadies from the shuddering intakes of air he hadn’t even been aware of, and his vision starts to fuzz when he blinks.
It’s almost relaxing.
But then Coomer speaks up again, and Benrey’s second genuine feeling of fear bubbles to the surface. “You should… Inform Gordon, when you have a moment spare, of course.”
Coomer can feel Benrey’s spine tense at the notion. And he knows why the poor guard is so scared of telling him. It would be a miracle that he hadn’t discovered Benrey’s little crush on the physicist by now, and from how much Benrey, or rather the thing that’s been controlling him, has riled Gordon up and made him squirm, chances are he won’t believe a word Benrey tells him. Chances also are he’ll tell Benrey to shut up, or leave him alone. And Coomer knows that would break Benrey’s heart.
Still, the man insists.
“He shouldn’t be kept in the dark like this, Benrey… Dr. Freeman is a very stressed individual right now, I think he’d benefit from some information.”
“ what about me. ” Benrey bites back,in a lucid moment. “ i don’t wanna tell him- he’ll be mean about it, say i don’t deserve his sympathy or some dumb hero shit, i- ”
“What you don’t deserve is the person of your affections hating you for something you aren’t responsible for.”
When Benrey is knocked into silence, Coomer fears for a moment he’s overstepped in his efforts. But then he watches the other pull up into a sit, and toss his arms loosely around his back.
“ i don’t want him to hate me, bro… ” He barely whimpers out.
Coomer’s eyes soften, and he pulls Benrey into a hug.
“I know you don’t…”
In no time at all, he’s back to comforting the guard. Rubbing circles into his back, keeping them both quiet for however long either person needs. He’s all too aware that Benrey needs the comfort right now. One of his arms is still wrapped around Coomer’s back, but the other is curled in close to his chest, and his legs are laying stiffly out in front of him. “ this sucks. ” He sniffles out, and Coomer nods again.
“ wouldn’t change if i told him though, script says i gotta be the end fight. ”
“The.. Script?” Of course Benrey would know too.
“ says i’m the bad guy at the end of the game. i didn’t wanna do that. so script made changes last time i died, skeleton guy. forced me to be baaaad. ” The last word is drawled out, as per Benrey’s usual speech pattern. Coomer finds he’s missed hearing it. “ doesn’t matter if i tell chicken-head in there, script said no gay rights. ”
The silly comment gets a chuckle out of both of them, if only for a moment, but Coomer sobers himself and clears his throat. “With all due respect, my friend, I don’t give a fuck what the script says you are.”
“ ooh, tell ‘em. ”
“I can’t stand by and watch you fall to a line of code that doesn’t care for you.”
“ ..mmh. ”
Thinking for a moment, Coomer extends a lifeline out to Benrey, and hopes it sticks. “I have feelings for Bubby, you know,” he begins, feeling relief when the confession catches attention. “I’d be undeniably terrified if I were in your situation, in fact, I’d ask someone to accompany me if I were going to tell him something so heavy!”
“ can you do that with me? ” Benrey’s request is completely shameless, as if he’s known Coomer’s aim the entire time, but the accepting response he gets still means the world.
He awkwardly claps his hand on Coomer’s back before pulling away with a shaky sigh, and helps the old man to his feet as they slowly walk back to the hole.
“ this isn’t gonna cost me a playcoin? ”
Coomer shakes his head. “It’s on the house! Consider it a freebie.”
He smiles, and they both drop down. Benrey crawls towards Gordon on his knees once he’s sure the skeleton isn’t there to oversee the reveal.
“ hey. wake up, they cut your leg off in the night. ” A pale hand shakes Gordon awake, the lie is just enough to stir him into an alert state.
“Whuh- Nno I, need that you ffucker...” The physicist mumbles out as his head rolls across the concrete wall, before half-lidded eyes bolt open and he jerks back so quickly he almost smashes his head.
Running a hand- his only hand- across his face, Gordon groans at the sight of Mr. Asshole-of-the-year looming over him. “What do you want , Benrey.”
“ you listening, that’s what i want. can you do that please? ”
He’s about to say no, and turn away to close his eyes again in the only kind of petty retaliation he can manage, but Coomer’s hand suddenly appearing on Benrey’s shoulder drags his attention away from the half-baked plan and up to the old man’s face.
“Hear the man out, Gordon.”
It’s such a serious but gentle request, and Gordon can only stand his ground for close to ten seconds before his shoulders drop against the wall, and he makes a circular motion with his hand for Benrey to get on with it already.
Benrey stalls for time by getting himself comfy on the floor, then states as matter-of-factly as he possibly can; “ skeleton’s doing all this shit, bro. ”
He’s waiting for the eye-roll and the ‘cool story bro’ reaction, but Gordon’s shocked expression gives him the idea that might not be coming.
“The- The skeleton, the one I keep seeing?” Gordon extends out both arms on instinct, only catching one hand on Benrey’s shoulder before he remembers it’s the only one he has, and he suppresses a wince.
“ huh? ”
“Benrey don’t you dare do that shit to me after saying something like that, what do you know. I’ll listen.”
At least he’s hearing me out , Benrey’s mind offers, and he explains everything as best as he can.
The odd blank spots he gets whenever he loses control of his actions, the short-lived delirium that follows in the form of Benrey’s constant confused mumbles, and the genuine, serious hostility he isn’t even aware of. He lays it all out for Gordon to think over, and hopes even one thing stays with him.
He honestly wishes he could end things on a serious note to give Gordon more reason to take in his words, but the opportunity is so inviting. So instead, Benrey looks to the side, and deadpans.
“ tl;dr bro, yo i’m being possessed by sans undertale. ”
Once again, he’s expecting a scoff. He gets a laugh, and almost smiles as he drinks in the adorable grin on Gordon’s face. How it meets his eyes and creases the lower lids up. How he wishes he could get a reaction like that more often, if Gordon wasn’t always so stressed.
Gordon sighs, and Benrey looks up from his thoughts.
“Ok- Look, bud. It’s a little hard to believe you off the bat, but you’re gonna get the benefit of the doubt, ok?” He offers a lopsided half-smile, patting his hand against Benrey’s shoulder before dragging it back to lay in his lap.
Benrey’s heart swells at the nickname. “ kay. ” He replies, as emotionless as possible, but his hands are wringing together. Looking down at them, Benrey tilts his head in thought. In considering.
“ ...hug? ”
His arms are outstretched, just barely, so he can retract them completely unnoticed should the offer be declined. Gordon looks to the empty spot beside him, and with a quiet sigh, tilts his head to gesture to it, keeping in mind that he’s only doing this because he’s long overdue a hug himself, definitely not because he thinks Benrey might need one too.
“C’mon, over here.”
He doesn’t miss a beat, and cosies up to the other’s side with a hummed sound Gordon could mistake for purring. Coomer claps his hands together, satisfied, and gives Gordon an appreciative smile before he leaves to get some rest of his own. Gordon had almost forgotten he was even there .
“He’ll appreciate that more than you know just yet, Dr. Freeman.”
“Huh?” Gordon starts, hoping for another answer, but the steady breathing beside him, synching up to his own is somehow too calming for him to try anything other than to listen to it.
Maybe… Finally get some shuteye, too.
Benrey’s weight flung around his side is surprisingly comforting, after all.
Gordon lets his eyelids droop, and barely registers the soft feeling of lips pressing on his cheek before he sinks into sleep once more.