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Remus’s room was a mess. His room was never clean, it always had disturbing items littering the floor, but that was the type of mess that in a way seemed neat. It seemed intentional. The mess in Remus’s room was far from intentional.
There was blood splattering the walls, something that wasn’t typically concerning when it came to the duke, but what made it worrying this time was that the blood was his own. His prized deodorant collection had been destroyed, unfinished bottles smashed and left capless, or carelessly cast into the overturned trash can. His throwing knives weren’t embedded into one of the thin walls of the room, the barrier between his room and his brothers, but haphazardly tossed to the side, one of which lay next to him, its sharp edge coated with the vivid red of his blood. The long gashes on the wall behind him suggested that self-harm wasn't the knife's only use.
Remus was curled up in the epicentre of the destruction, in a little ball on the floor, rocking back and forth. His hair was tangled and seemed to be dripping the same red substance that oozed from the cuts along his arms, his normal dukey outfit in shambles as he silently sobbed, his fist inserted into his mouth to prevent his pathetic whimpers from escaping.
He couldn't stop thinking. He couldn't stop thinking about Snakeys gloveless hands on his waist and their lips touching and
-he said no he said no but Snakey didn't listen nonononono the others would hate him they'd never believe him nobody believed him Snakey said so, Snakey said that nobody loved me Snakey told me nobody would save me everyone hates me they all hate me. Virgie left because he hates me, my brother hates me he never loved me, he won't ever love me because I'm the bad guy and he's the good guy.
Remus just sat there, allowing his thoughts to rush through his head, leaving him in tears, hoping, wishing, begging for it to all be some dream he would soon wake up from, a nightmare that told him that Snakey didn't love him even though he did he did-
Snakey had to love him because if Snakey didn't love him then nobody loved him and if nobody loved him then he was alone and he couldn't be alone- no he couldn't be alone because then there was no one- and everyone hated him-
but not everybody hated him, Snakey still loved him, Snakey would still love him when he woke up, Virgey would still be here when he woke up, he brother would still love him when he woke up he just needed to WAKE UP!!
But he never did. He never woke up, not after the blood from his cuts pooled around him and he went dizzy and fell unconscious, even though he didn't need to fall asleep, he needed to wake up so that everyone would love him again.