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Medbay had been quiet that day, a rare occasion on board the Enterprise, but as they were currently docked for repairs it is less of a surprise to Hugh than it otherwise would have been. At a repair facility inside Federation space there’s a limited number of ways that Starfleet personnel can find to get themselves into trouble.
As Boyce, the CMO, along with the captain and first officer had been at a debrief meeting in connection with the successful completion of their latest mission, Hugh had been running the medbay for the entire shift. Thanks to the quiet he had been catching up with the paperwork and archiving, he’d need to get that completed as much as he could. The same morning he had received word that he had not only gotten the position he had applied for at starbase 46, but been requested to transfer as soon.
That left him in a predicament as he had not yet told Boyce or the captain that he intended to transfer. When he applied for the position, he had thought he’d have time between getting it, if he ever did, and transferring. But it looked like schedule had sped up and now he needed to talk to both men urgently but the debrief had got in the way.
He’s writing up the medical report on the last of the day’s patients when Boyce does return, nodding to Hugh as he steps into the office.
“Have a moment?” Boyce asks him.
“Of course. I’m nearly done here.”
“In more ways than one I hear. Word came down from command about your transfer and Christopher told me after the debreif.”
“Ah yes, that. Phil I’m sorry, I intended to tell you and captain Pike when I heard, I didn’t expect all of it to happen so suddenly. But it seems there’s complications with commander Conneley’s pregnancy and they wanted to step down earlier than planned.”
“And command decided you were the man for the job.”
“Yes. I’m truly sorry for it all to have become so rushed, but I’m sure you have plenty of candidates that can fill my position.”
“Mmmm. But none of them will be you.”
“No.”
Boyce takes the chair opposite Hugh.
“What I don’t understand is why? I was looking forward to handing this place over to you which would be a lot sooner than you might think. Were you getting hopeless about that? Or was I that terrible a boss?”
“No, neither of those. In spite of our arguments it’s been a pleasure serving under you Phil and the man that signed on on the Enterprise would have been delighted to take over. But I’m not that man any more. I’ve changed and so have my ideas about what I want.”
“And it’s not the Enterprise.”
“I’m afraid not. Sorry.”
Boyce sighs and gets to his feet. So does Hugh and Boyce pat his arm.
“Guess I’ll better start looking for someone else then to fill your shoes, Hugh. Though you’ll be a hard act to follow I don’t mind telling you that.”
“Thank you.”
“By the way the captain wants to see you too. Better not keep him waiting.”
“Better not."
“Step on in commander and have a seat,” Pike tells him, indicating the sofa arrangement in the corner.
Hugh dutifully sits down as Pike crosses the floor from his desk to the sofas.
“Coffee? Tea? Something stronger?” Pike offers.
“Coffee please. Technically I’m still on duty.”
“Two coffee, black, please,” Pike tells the replicator. He takes both cups, walks over to the sofas and hands Hugh one before sitting down in one of the reclining chairs on the other side of the coffee table.
“Don’t worry,” Pike says. “You won’t need stronger; I’m not going to bite.” He takes a sip of the mug. “I knew something was up when you requested a statement about your performance added to your records, but I thought you were going to push to gets Phil’s job. He’s probably going to be out of here in a year or two, you’d be primed for that position.”
“I know sir. Phil and I, we just talked about it. It was what I intended when I signed on with the Enterprise.”
“So what happened?”
“Plans changed.”
“That much is clear. What I meant was, why? I’ve been looking at your records and your career trajectory have always been clear, you wanted one of the big ships. This change, a research position on a starbase. It looks like you’ve done a one hundred and eighty.”
“The reasons are complicated sir.”
Pike leans back in his chair.
“I have time. I have nothing but time right now us being laid up for repairs.”
Hugh nods. He takes a mouthful of coffee, leans back in the sofa, propping one ankle up on the opposite knee.
“What do you think of Starfleet, captain?”
“I assume this is relevant to my own question but I’m not sure I follow you.”
“The organization, what do you think of it? You must have some thoughts. After all you joined it.”
“So did you.”
Hugh smiles.
“True, but I do indeed have thoughts. I’m asking for yours.”
Pike rubs his cheek and takes a sip of coffee.
“It’s an organization dedicated to the exploration of space. To promoting science and civilization. To peacefully bond with new cultures we may come across in our journeys.””
“Mmmm. And how if I may ask, do you align that with its behavior during the Klingon War? With the things that High Command accepted? Ordered?”
Pike shift in his seat.
“It was wartime, doctor.”
“And that makes it acceptable?”
“No but-”
“But what?”
“Things aren’t as clear cut when you’re in the middle of things, I guess. Thought you’d know that better than me, as you were there.”
Hugh puts down his cup and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees.
“Yes I was. For some of it anyway. And no things aren’t always clear, but if we’re willing to sell out that much of who we’re supposed to be in a crisis... is it who we really are? Or is it merely a pretense we keep up until it becomes inconvenient for us to do so?”
“I... I’m not sure. But it sounds like you’ve given this some thought.”
“Yes, captain. A lot of thought.”
“Did you reach an answer?”
Hugh takes a deep breath.
“In a way captain.”
“What sort of answer?”
“That organizations are in the end made up of people and it’s the people in it that makes the decisions, sets its course. And its course can be altered by the people that makes the decisions.”
Pike purses his lips.
“And you intend to “course correct” Starfleet?”
Hugh locks his eyes with the captain’s.
“I intend to use my influence to ensure that Starfleet does not forget its ideals, no matter what crises it may face.”
“Mmmm.”
“You disagree?”
“Not at all. But to assure that kind of influence to hold sufficient sway to guide an organization as large as Starfleet, you’d have to have a very central position.”
“I would.”
“More central and higher than CMO of a constitution class ship.”
“Indeed.”
Pike chuckles.
“I see,” he says. “But if you intend to start climbing politically in Starfleet there’d be better positions than the one you just landed. Not that it's not a good start but knowing your resume and your ambitions you could have landed better.”
There’s a sharp look in Pike’s eyes now and Hugh have a suspicion of where this is going. Not that it surprises him, Pike is far too smart to not have figure it out.
“Career was only one motive to seeking that position,” Hugh confess.
“And the other? Was that more... personal?”
“Possibly.”
Hugh says nothing more waiting to see exactly how far Pike intends to pursue this.
“When I got the message about your transfer, I looked up Starbase 46 and I noticed a name on the duty roster. Lieutenant commander Paul Stamets.”
All the way to the end it seems .
“I am aware that Paul is stationed there, yes.”
When he doesn’t say anything more than this Pike sets down his cup on the table and leans forward in his chair.
“Commander Culber, I rarely poke my nose into my subordinates’ personal affairs as long as it doesn’t interfere with their duties, especially when they’re soon to become my ex-subordinates. It’s none of my business really. But just this once I’ll deviate and ask you, do you think this is wise?”
Hugh sighs.
“You mean to try to go back?”
“Yes.”
“I’m not trying to. I’m not the man I was and I doubt Paul is the same man he was either, but still some things may have remained the same. Or grown with us.”
“And if they have changed? For him I mean?”
“Then I’ll complete my temporal position on Starbase 46 and then look for the next step in my new course. Alone.”
Pike nods slowly.
He stands and Hugh follows suit, taking the hand Pike holds out to him.
“Then I wish you the best of luck. On both accounts.”
“And I you sir. It’s been an honor serving on board the Enterprise and I’ll miss her and you.”
“I’ll remind you of that next we meet. Though then I think I may be the one saluting you. Dismissed doctor.”
After his meeting with the captain, Hugh spends some time in his cabin finishing more paperwork in preparation for his departure before heading off to dinner. The news about his reassignment has spread, something like that can’t be kept secret for long on something as small as a starship and he’s met with questions, congratulations and no small measure of curiosity in the mess from friends and acquaintances alike and though Hugh does not give any of them as many details as he gave Boyce or Pike what he tells is enough to satisfy them.
The meal turns into an impromptu celebration and Hugh returns back to his cabin later than he had planned, though not so late as to make the final one of today’s needed conversations impossible. He’s thankful for that though part of him wishes he had an excuse for putting it off, this one is going to be harder than talking to Phil or the captain.
“Computer, put through a subspace call to lieutenant commander Stamets.”
As the seconds drags on Hugh can feel how his heart pounds in his chest and his stomach curls in on itself.
“Lieutenant commander Paul Stamets is not responding,” comes the impersonal voice from the computer.
Biting his lips Hugh considers. Perhaps Paul doesn’t want to talk to him, but the call isn’t refused so maybe Paul simply isn’t home yet? Though it is late at Starbase 46 Paul always were the workaholic so it isn’t inconceivable that he hasn't returned to his quarters and if he had received notice of Hugh’s call anywhere else, he may not want to respond in public.
“Please keep the call open, I’ll wait.”
“Acknowledged.”
He'll wait, wait until Paul either accepts or refuses the call. He resumes his paperwork while waiting but his mind doesn’t want to cooperate, his eyes keeps sliding from his padd to the rotating waiting icon on the comm screen.
Still he starts in his seat when the comm suddenly pings.
“Call received.”
Paul’s face appears on the screen, slightly flushed and out of breath, and wearing a confused half-smile.
“Hugh?” he says. “This is- I haven’t seen you since... since you took up position on the Enterprise.”
“Yes I- The Enterprise was out of communication range for a good deal of that time and- I needed to sort through my thoughts,” Hugh answers.
“Hugh you don’t owe me an explanation.”
“Maybe, maybe not. But I want to give you one.”
“Alright. I’m listening.”
Hugh folds his hands on the tabletop.
“When I... left, I wasn’t certain of anything. Least of all of myself. I wasn’t sure what I wanted anymore. If Starfleet was what I wanted.”
Paul’s eyes go a little wide at those words but he remains silent.
“Everything felt off. Me, the world around me. I read up on what happened between my death and when I came back.” Hugh notices the little start Paul gives when Hugh mentions his death but still Paul says nothing. “And I had a hard time accepting what had happened, what Starfleet had turned into during that time.”
Paul nods at that.
“I needed time to figure everything out, what I could and couldn’t live with. Time, space and, and distance. The Enterprise gave me that,” Hugh goes on.
“And now?” Paul asks.
“I’ve figured some of those things out. Enough to move on. So I’ve applied for a different position.”
“Oh which?”
“The one as leader of the cybernetic prosthetic research project that Conneley have been in charge of.”
“Oh, I- You mean you’re coming here?”
Too many emotions pass across Pauls’ face too quickly for Hugh to separate them.
“Yes. I meant to give you more warning that I was arriving but with Conneley stepping down immediately I’ve been asked to take over as fast as possible.”
“How is Pike dealing with that? Or your CMO, what’s his name.”
“Phil, Phil Boyce. And they’re sad to see me go but no hard feelings.”
Paul nods again, very slowly.
“I thought you would stay there,” he says, sounding like he’s talking to himself. “I know it was always your dream, CMO of one of the big ships.”
“Dreams change, Paul.”
“I guess,” Paul answers. “Well, I’ll try and keep out of your hair when you get here.”
“No!” Hugh can feel his heart skip in his chest and his stomach plummet. “I was, I was hoping that we could talk sometime. If you want to. I know I haven’t been in touch all this time but I’ve missed talking to you.” He has to say it, before he loses the courage to do so.
Paul smiles tremulously.
“I’ve missed talking to you too,” he says.
“Then maybe we could have lunch when I get there? When it’s convenient?”
“Yes. Or I could give you a tour when you arrive? This place isn’t big but it can be confusing when you first get here.”
“I’d like that.”
“Good. Great then-” Paul’s words are cut off by a big yawn. “Sorry, sorry about that.”
“It’s fine. How late is it your place?”
“I’m an adult, I can stay up late if I want.”
“Yes you’re an adult, so you should go to bed at a reasonable time if you have to get up tomorrow.”
Paul pouts and Hugh can’t help but laugh. It is so easy, to fall back into that pattern of banter. He had feared it might be gone, that they’d have to fight to find it again if they ever could, but in this moment, it feel like it was never gone.
“Really Paul, go to bed.”
“I don’t want to stop talking to you.”
Paul blinks after he says it, like he hadn’t really meant to, and he looks so worried Hugh want to reach through the screen and hug him, tell him how much those words meant to hear.
Instead he says, “I’ll be there soon. A week, maybe two. Then we can talk all you want to. Or-”
“Or?”
“Or we could call? The Enterprise will be in dock for repairs until I get off, I’ll be in communication range.”
“Yes, we could do that.”
Paul yawns again.
“Go. To. Bed. It’s getting late here too; I should really go to bed as well.” It’s a bit early for it really, but maybe it can “bribe” Paul to accept.
“Alright, alright.” Paul sighs. “Goodnight then, Hugh.”
“Goodnight Paul.”
“Talk to you tomorrow?”
There’s a spark of hope in Paul’s eyes that makes Hugh’s heart beat fiercely in his chest.
“Yes. A bit earlier though.”
Paul nods and logs off. After it turns dark Hugh remains seated at his desk, heart pounding in his chest, paperwork utterly forgotten as he smiles joyfully to himself