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"I'm telling you, General Kenobi is the most handsome man ever."
Rex resists rolling his eyes as Cody firmly tells their group about his crush on his general. The others are nodding, Rex frowns.
"I know how it feels, vod. General Secura is just so smart that it's impossible not to love her." Bly adds, slapping Cody on the back.
They were much drunker than Rex thought. He looks around to make sure no one is listening but the other clones at 79's pay no attention to the group of commanders in the corner.
Grey laughs. "Is it possible to not fall in love with your Jedi?" He raises his glass in a toast and the others laugh and follow suit.
Rex wants to point out that they came to 79's to celebrate his promotion to commander, not to bemoan their unrequited love.
Not that most of it is unrequited, Rex is about 98% sure Cody and Kenobi have had sex.
And he's knows Darman and Etain were dating because Darman had told him that they were.
He isn't sure about Grey or Bly but he wouldn't doubt it.
"Depa is so creative, she can come up with a thousand ways to solve a problem." Grey drawls, the others hum in agreement.
"It must be a Jedi trait because Secura is the same way." Bly smiles as he mentions his general. He's the most lovesick out of of them, the very mention of Secura has him blushing like a schoolgirl. It would be funny if Rex wasn't sick and tired of hearing about the other commander's love for the Jedi.
Darman turns to Rex. "It's virtually inevitable, we're with them all the time. What about you, Commander Rex? Anything to tell us about General Skywalker?" He has a suggestive smirk on his face. Rex pushes away the urge to get out of this situation by saying that the senator and Skywalker are a thing.
The other commanders all look at him expectantly. Rex frowns.
"No." He says firmly. There isn't a doubt in his mind.
"No?" Cody leans forward, his face curious. They are all waiting for him to elaborate.
"Hey! Hey! Rex!"
Rex turns to face Commander Tano. Her blue eyes are wide and she has a grin on her face.
"Yes, Commander?"
Ahsoka tugs him into the debriefing room and Rex suddenly wonders if they had a meeting he forgot about it.
His worries are instantly smothered when he sees a ground of clones all standing around General Skywalker .
Phew, he didn't forget anything. But what are they doing?
Tup looks vaguely uncomfortable, Jesse and Fives are grinning, Kix looks disgusted.
Actually, everyone has some form of disgusted on their faces.
General Skywalker grins at Rex. "Just in time, buddy."
Rex looks from Ahsoka who looks somewhat pleased with herself, to Kix, who shakes his head. He looks at General Skywalker who looks...
Actually, Rex can't figure out what his facial expression is. He thinks it's a mix of calm, pride, and disgust. A strange combination.
Hardcase bursts into the room, a jar in his hand. Rex squints at the jar and realizes there is a spider in it. He makes a face, It's furry legs attempt to climb the jar but fail.
Suddenly it dawns on him why they all look disgusted. He turns the the General who takes the jar.
"Thank you, Hardcase." He says, Hardcase gives him a weak salute and bounces on his toes.
"No problem, sir. It's the biggest one I could find."
"Excellent."
Hardcase looks so pleased with himself that it would be adorable if he didn't just find a spider for the general to eat.
Kix looks over the spider and sighs when he most likely deems it non-venomous.
"You look a little concerned." Skywalker tells him, he is holding the spider's body with two fingers as he looks it over. It's legs wiggle uselessly in the air .
"Just making sure you won't die, sir." Kix says, Skywalker laughs and shrugs.
"I've eaten worse than a spider. Sometimes you need to take it in stride. Like I do."
Rex wants to ask who dared the general to eat the spider but from the downright gleeful look on Tano's face, he already knows.
"Go Skyguy. Go Skyguy." She begins chanting. The men join in and Rex watches in horror as Skywalker lifts the spider to his mouth.
It crunches, loudly.
Skywalker chews and chews and as he chews his face settles into a calm expressions. He makes a big show of swallowing.
Tano whoops with joy and laughs. The men are silent for a second and then all at once they join her and soon the room is full of laughter and loud chattering.
To his credit, Skywalker doesn't even look a little fazed. He gives Ahsoka and Fives a look.
Rex is going to throw up. He looks away and tries to stop his gag reflex from going crazy.
Anakin smirks. "You look a little green, Rex."
Rex glares at him and straightens, pretending his stomach isn't doing somersaults.
"I'm... I have reports to do." He tells the general numbly. Anakin nods and grins as Ahsoka and multiple clones hand him over some credits.
Kriff. This was never covered in the regs.
Rex shudders at the memory. "I can safely say, no feelings for my general." He tells them, not willing to elaborate any further than that.
They shrug, disappointed, and continue talking about how kind and beautiful and smart their generals are.
Rex wonders how the kriff he ended up with the dumbest Jedi ever.