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My Son

Summary:

James liked being a parent, he just wasn't sure he was all that good at it. He loved Harry, but adopting someone that was now being bullied meant that he was completely lost and terrified of messing up.

Notes:

For the prompt: “Maybe James and sirius adopting a kid and being all cute and protective..”

Work Text:

"Hey Haz, how was school?" James asked. It wasn't a completely innocent question because Harry had been having trouble recently, but he hoped his tone was light enough that Harry wouldn't feel like he was interrogating him. 

"Fine," he muttered, in that way that always meant it hadn't been fine. 

James looked up from the essay he'd been reading. If it were Sirius, he'd ask if Sirius wanted to talk about it. If he said yes, they'd start talking, and if he said no, that meant they'd talk about it later. But Harry had been neglected before he came to live with them, and letting him have time alone when he was upset didn't feel the same that it would have to another teenager. Watching what he said around Harry was different than watching what he said around Sirius. He and Sirius had been figuring out what bothered Sirius at the same time, when they were both teenagers. It was a whole different playing field now that he was an adult and it felt like Harry was still a kid. Seriously, hadn't he just been ten yesterday? And now, somehow, he was fifteen and dealing with shite that James had never had to deal with. James swallowed, trying to think of the best way to phrase this. "Was something bothering you?" 

Harry clenched his jaw and stared at the floor moodily. 

Wow, James really didn't miss his teenage days. He'd been a pretty happy guy, and even he'd been fucking miserable compared to being an adult. "Was someone bothering you?" He might be way off base, but he remembered getting shit for being Indian at the prep school where pretty much everyone else was generationally British and pasty skinned. 

"It's no big deal," Harry muttered. "I can handle it." He shifted his bag on his shoulder then shuffled off to his room. 

James set the papers to the side and wondered when Sirius would be home; he was always better at dealing with these issues when they came up. He blew out a breath and rubbed a hand through his hair. If he wanted to be a decent father, he was going to have to have these talks without Sirius doing everything for him all the time. He pushed himself up and walked to Harry's room. "Hey," James said, leaning against the door frame. He didn't want to invite himself into Harry's room without permission-- Sirius had made sure to tell him about respecting private space because it had never been an issue when it was just them. "I- erm. I don't want to pester you, but I also don't want you to think that I don't care. I know it's been bad at school, but I can't help unless you tell me what it is." 

"I said I can handle it." 

"Taking people's shit because you think you can stand it isn't the same as being able to handle it. Or- maybe it is, but I don't think you should have to." 

For a minute, he thought Harry wasn't going to answer. "She said you're not my real dad," he said quietly, like he was ashamed of what this other girl said to him. 

"Well I mean, I'm not your birth father, and that means a lot to some people." 

"Sirius only puts up with me," he said, wiping at his face in a way that meant he was starting to cry but didn't want anyone to notice. 

"Sirius loves you," James corrected. "He was the one that saw you first. He told me I should meet you because you were amazing, and he was right." Tentatively, he took a step inside, walking over to Harry and putting a hand on his shoulder. When Harry leaned into it, James put his arm all the way around him and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "We can switch schools if that's what you want." 

Harry shook his head but leaned into James's side. "She was in a bad mood, it'll be fine." 

"Okay," James said slowly, wondering how he was going to broach this next part. Bugger, he'd never been able to manage subtlety. "I. Erm. I'm concerned that people are bullying you. And that you're not telling anyone because you think it doesn't matter." Because at Harry's old school, his cousin had encouraged that behaviour in the other students. No one could be Harry's friend back then even if they wanted to, and James remembered what it was like to be in school; Harry looked different and he didn't dress right and he didn't care to try and be like everyone else. That meant people were going to notice, and they weren't going to keep their feelings about it to themselves. "I- I don't like bringing this up because you probably don't want to think about it, but if that's happening, I would really like it if you told me." 

"It's not- no one's beating me up or anything. It's not like that." 

"Glad to hear it, but that doesn't mean they aren't bullying you." 

"I'm not weak." 

James swallowed. "You remind me so much of Sirius. I love both of you, but that's also pretty scary. His parents... they were abusing him, and he never said anything because he didn't think it was bad enough. I would really like to not wait until we get to that point with you. Being a teenager isn't the greatest, but I also don't want for you to look back on this time and only be able to think about how much you hated everything." 

Harry kind of broke down crying, and James couldn't tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing. 


In other news, Sirius went down to Harry's school-- soon to be his old school-- to get some record or summat that they needed to transfer him, and they tried to convince him to change his mind. Sirius ended up yelling at a few people, which wasn't really anything new. They almost called the police on him, which also wasn't anything new. 

Harry thought it was hilarious. 


"Nobody told me being a parent was so bloody stressful," Sirius mumbled, his face smushed against James's chest. 

"No offense, love, but what did you expect?" 

"Your parents never seemed that stressed." 

James snickered. "I brought home my boyfriend when I was sixteen and asked if he could live with us. Believe me, they were stressed about it, even if they never let us know about it." 

"Not to mention that one year you had detention literally every day." 

"Yeah... they weren't too thrilled with that. Let's just be happy that Harry isn't more like us." 

Sirius groaned loudly. 

"He only got in trouble once," James said, and he was kind of surprised that, yeah, it had only been the one time. 

"And that was defending his friend so it barely counts. I can't believe he has a bloody boyfriend that he never told us about." 

"He told us about him tonight; that was the whole point." 

"Sod off," Sirius said, shoving weakly at James's head. "I want to whinge, and I can't do that if you're being reasonable." 

James yawned widely, then threw his glasses at the night stand. They skid across the surface and fell to the ground. He was going to regret that in the morning, when he couldn't remember what had happened to them. "Don't let me stop you. Go right ahead." 

"He said he's planning on living with him when he goes to uni. He's way too young for that." 

"Mhm," James said, even though him and Sirius had done the same thing when they moved out of Mum and Dad's house. Technically, with Sirius moving in with him and his parents before they'd graduated, they had done it younger than Harry. 

"He's going to get his heart broken. Harry's too good of a person to deserve that." 

For most people, getting your heart broken at least once was expected. James hadn't had to deal with that because he'd fancied Lily, gotten over it, then immediately fallen head first for Sirius. The closest Sirius had gotten to heartbreak was when he thought James was going to marry Lily and they were going to have five kids together-- never mind that Lily had loudly and repeatedly stated that she didn't like children and later come out as a lesbian. But James had agreed to let Sirius whinge, so he hummed again. 

"I take it back, you're no fun like this." 

"'m tired." 

"Big baby." 

"Says the man curled up on top of me." 

"I'm only half on top of you," Sirius said. 

"Much better. Listen love, if Harry is going to get his heart broken by this Draco bloke, the best thing we can do is be there for him. By which I mean that I don't want for you to freak him out with another sex talk." 

"The first sex talk went fine, you arse." 

"Uh-huh." It had, actually, but admitting that was less funny. James yawned again, snuggling a little closer to Sirius. 

James started to drift off, but he was still aware enough to hear when Sirius whispered, "I can't believe he's moving out soon. It feels like he barely moved in." 

"Yeah, I know." James kissed his head. "He's not leaving us forever, just cause he's moving out." 

"It won't be the same." 

All James could do was hold him tighter. 

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