Chapter Text
This was not Sir Pentious' first rodeo in a fight. It was, however, the first time he could recall losing a fight with numbers advantage to someone half his height.
The snake ducked behind a half-broken concrete wall, another burst of Tommy gun fire ripping through the air over his head as his opponent - a black spider short a few feet on height but making up for it with firepower - loosed barrage after barrage, cracking and breaking Pentious' sentient egg minions left-right-and-center.
A momentary pause in the assault prompted Pentious to attempt to fire back. He peeked out from behind his cover, hoisting his weapon over the broken wall and loosing a broad, if uncalculated, burst of laser fire before looking around to assess the situation. The spider was nowhere to be seen, just the scorch marks from where Pentious' weapon had hit.
A moment later, bullets resumed barraging him and his minions from above. Pentious looked up to see the spider running on a nearby rooftop - how he'd gotten up there was a mystery entirely - raining gunfire down on the small army. He leapt off the roof and hit the wall of another building, somehow running on the vertical surface for a brief moment before bouncing off into a spinning back flip, landing on his feet squarely in the center of Pentious and his small army of egg-constructs in a display of agility someone with a snake tail, instead of legs, could only dream of.
"Get him!" The snake screamed out to his minions, pointing a finger down the four-and-a-half-foot tall menace. The egg-constructs, slow as ever, looked around for a moment before noticing the snake's hand and turning their weapons on the spider.
Without a moment of hesitation or warning, a gun in each of his six hands, the spider rotated in place, laying down a 360-degree storm of gunfire, each motion of an arm punctuated with a harsh blast of sound and a puff of gun smoke. One full turn later, the fighting had come to an abrupt, if loud, stop - every one of Pentious' minions cracked and shattered around him, the snake himself left entirely untouched.
"I hope ya brought more than a couple'a halfwit eggs and...whatever that is..." The spider said, nodding in the direction of Pentious' ray cannon. "I'm bored, n' this is the first decent action I've had in weeks."
Pentious remained entirely silent, barely keeping his jaw from dropping. Something about the spider was oddly...endearing? Cute? The snake struggled to think of a fitting word, none quite entirely fitting.
"...guess ya didn't. Eh." The spider shrugged, lowering his guns. "Guess I hoped for too much."
Pentious raised a finger, still trying to keep his jaw up. The spider sighed and began walking away, his weapons seeming to disappear into nothing as he pulled out a cigarette and lighter.
"Wait!" The snake managed to stammer out, causing the spider to pause and turn around for a moment. Pentious' thoughts raced for something to say that would hold his attention, before a light-bulb figuratively went off in his head.
"Can I buy you a drink?"