Chapter Text
Scylla flipped to the next page in her book. The sound was louder than it seemed. She was reading in Raelle’s room while Raelle laid on her bed, tossing a ball up and then catching it, over and over. The sound bounced like the ball hitting Raelle’s hand.
“Back home, on days where there was nothing to do,” Raelle said, “I’d just do this for hours. Mom used to worry about me because I’d spend the day doing this. Chippewa Cession can be boring.”
“I bet,” Scylla said, setting her book down. “I would read when I could. But I didn’t always have books.”
“I had books, but I never really liked reading all that much.”
“That doesn’t surprise me,” Scylla said with a laugh. “That would mean you’d have to sit still.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Raelle asked after catching her ball. “I can sit still.”
Scylla just chuckled through a smile. “Sure you can.”
Scylla got up and walked over to Raelle’s bed, looking down at her. “You’re always fidgeting. Even right now, your feet are bouncing.” Scylla pointed and Raelle’s feet ceased movement.
“Whatever, it’s not like you can sit still either.”
“Smooth. I just sat still for an hour while I read my book.”
Raelle scoffed, bringing one hand behind her head. “Yeah, yeah.”
“It’s good to see you’re still grumpy all the time,” Scylla said.
“Yeah, dying doesn’t change your personality. It’s kind of weird actually.”
Scylla sat down on the bed, looking at Raelle, who fidgeted again.
“See, you’re fidgeting,” Scylla said with a gesture towards Raelle.
“Only because you’re...Shut up.”
“It’s getting late.”
Raelle nodded. It wasn’t late in the day by any means, but there was nothing productive to say right then. The light outside had turned golden certainly, but the hour wasn’t a late one. That statement was an excuse for Scylla to leave before she drew any closer to Raelle than she already was.
“I’m tired,” she said. “I’m going to my room.”
“You wanna lay here then? Just for a minute?”
Scylla was caught off guard. She shouldn’t have been by then, but Raelle always seemed to surprise her or cast her nerves into a torrent. That torrent wasn’t unwelcome, but it was turbulent nonetheless.
“I probably shouldn’t,” Scylla said.
“I mean, it’s not a crime to lay next to someone, is it?” Raelle asked.
Against her better judgment, whatever that meant, Scylla did what Raelle was suggesting; she took in a deep breath and laid down, right next to the woman she still loved, and rested her head on her shoulder. She found a place between Raelle and her arm, falling in between to be nestled there in a safe place. Scylla let the air out of her lungs, slowly exhaling all of it as Raelle slowly rested her hand on Scylla’s chest. They were both rigid. Neither of them wanted to admit it, but that closeness between them was unbearable because of the buzzing energy coursing inside of them. It was less of a wanting energy, though that aspect was there too, and more of an energy that resonated in the parts of them that wanted to be together again. From Scylla’s point of view, she was undeserving of Raelle’s sunlight, the heat that could warm every bit of her for the rest of her life. And for Raelle, Scylla was untouchable because of what had happened between them. She was being stubborn more than anything, and even if she knew just what words to say, she wouldn’t say them. Not now.
“This is cozy,” Scylla said, breaking the tension in the room.
“Yeah, it is,” Raelle replied. “Kinda missed it.”
“Me too.”
They laid there in silence for a moment. Raelle felt Scylla’s chest rise and fall as she breathed softly, no urgency or panic underneath. Scylla closed her eyes. She reached up hesitantly, taking Raelle’s hand in hers. Scylla’s fingers slid between Raelle’s with no resistance. Still no panic.
“What are you doing?” Raelle asked quietly. She just looked at the ceiling.
“Holding your hand, I guess,” Scylla replied. “Do you want me to stop?”
“No,” Raelle forced out. Panic. “No, I don’t.”
“Okay.”
Scylla turned on her side to face Raelle’s body. She took Raelle’s hand with her, drawing it around her body to rest in front of her. Scylla rested her head on Raelle’s chest, eyes still firmly shut.
“How about now?” Scylla whispered.
“No,” Raelle replied. “Not now.”
Suddenly, there was a peace in the room. It could have been the time of day, or it could have been the need for sleep they both had, but the way the world felt changed. Everything felt far away, like it didn’t matter, like it never mattered. There weren’t any pressing matters, no war, no betrayals, just two people who desperately loved each other and didn’t know what to do with it. Raelle knew she really did know though, even if she had to spend a minute thinking about it while Scylla was nearly falling asleep. Raelle’s free hand found a place against Scylla’s face, burying her fingers in Scylla’s hair, an act that did little to keep the girl awake. Raelle drew her fingers back and forth, relaxing Scylla enough that she let out a sound. It was a quiet sound, one that only comes from a person with no cares at all. Scylla’s hair felt like it did before; it was soft and had a texture to it that was unique, and Raelle’s touch slipped through it with ease. Scylla sighed through her nose like she did when she was asleep, and Raelle smiled just a little bit knowing Scylla wouldn’t see it. She looked at her left palm, wondering if the mark would still work since she had died. She resolved herself to ask Scylla in the morning. Raelle looked down as Scylla.
I still love you, she thought. I wish I didn’t, but I still love you.
Raelle closed her eyes and fell asleep. Scylla woke up well before her. The sun blessed her face with its light, rustling her awake gently as it grew with intensity. She had forgotten where she’d fallen asleep, not that she remembered falling into slumber at all. Scylla was almost startled with where she found herself, beside another person, but that was pushed away quickly once Raelle’s scent hit her nose. That was enough to tell her she was safe, that she could just enjoy it while she was there. Scylla moved carefully to look up at Raelle’s face. She was clearly very asleep, perhaps for the first time in a long while. Scylla smiled. As if there was a cosmic cue, Raelle’s eyes fluttered open right then to meet Scylla’s. Scylla suppressed that smile.
“Watching me sleep,” Raelle mumbled. She yawned. “Creep.”
Scylla sat up on her elbows. One hand sat beside Raelle’s body and the other on her shoulder. Their faces were then closer than for comfort, even if they both wanted to be closer. “I can go back to my room if I’m being weird,” Scylla played.
“That’s fine. Whatever you want to do,” Raelle said.
Scylla wasn’t sure if Raelle was joking or not. The statement sounded stern enough that it could have been completely serious, but Scylla also knew that Raelle had a tendency to joke around that way. To be as cautious as possible, whether or not it was wise, Scylla decided it was best to respond swiftly.
“I’d stay here with you forever if you’d let me,” she said, “That’s what I’d want to do.”
Raelle wasn’t exactly surprised by what Scylla said, though she was surprised by her own reaction. There was an abrupt buildup of elation that could have brought tears to her eyes if she were in a place mentally to allow it. In an effort to maintain her demeanor, Raelle looked right into Scylla’s eyes, those eyes as vast as the seas and just as wild, and spoke.
“Then stay.”
Scylla smiled with her mouth and through her eyes. She looked at Raelle like she had at the wedding, the last time they, the two of them together, had been happy. She watched Raelle as she laid there on her back. Raelle’s hands were no longer preoccupied by anything, now resting on her stomach, locked together. Scylla looked down at them but did nothing else.
“It’s really early in the day,” Scylla mumbled. “I wonder how long till everyone else is awake.”
Just then, there was a surge of something. The fading stars themselves had songs to sing and Raelle could hear them. Even the moon, a companion that had kept Raelle company many nights she would have otherwise been alone, it sang too. They were all telling her to do the same thing, and that very thing was something Raelle feared for reasons that were hard to explain. She also knew better than to ignore feelings like that.
“I haven’t kissed you since they took me to see you,” Raelle said. Scylla’s eyes gave away her surprise, even if for a very brief moment. Their regularity returned as quickly as the irregularity had popped in.
“No you haven’t,” Scylla mumbled, averting her eyes. Scylla sat up, pushing up off the bed.
Raelle did the same, sitting opposite of Scylla. The morning’s songbirds were suddenly very apparently singing just outside the window. Their melodies were sweet and soft, just like Raelle saw Scylla, and their melodies were simple and clear, just as Scylla saw Raelle. The two of them avoided looking at each other, though Raelle was worse at it than Scylla.
“Scylla,” Raelle stated. Scylla’s gave flashed up, quickly finding its home within Raelle’s. She said nothing, instead simply reaching over to take Raelle’s left hand with such gentleness.
“Does it still work?” Raelle asked. “The mark.”
Scylla again said nothing, only drawing her hand back to answer the question. She traced on her palm. The letter appeared on the other person’s hand in time with the trace. Raelle held up her hand to show Scylla it still worked, though Scylla already knew.
“You can still say hi to me,” Raelle said.
Scylla nodded, a small, sad smile gracing her face. She sighed through her nose.
“I should go,” Scylla muttered. Even though I don’t want to. Not at all.
“Before you do,” Raelle said as she leaned forward, “I have something I want to tell you.”
Scylla braced herself for something akin to what had been said in the cell, those cursed words that stayed buried in her mind like some sort of parasite. Her lips pursed together slightly like they did when she was afraid.
“You can stay here as long as you want,” Raelle stated. “I’m not gonna tell you to leave.”
“Thanks,” Scylla replied. She turned to get off the bed, her bare feet touching the ground just as Raelle’s did. Scylla turned around to say goodbye to Raelle for the moment. Scylla found Raelle standing there with her hands in front of her, her head cocked slightly to the side. Raelle was watching her with some buried intention that only someone practiced could have noticed. Scylla didn’t know exactly what to do or where to move right then. Part of her told her to turn towards the door and walk out and the other part, the louder and more emotional part, told her to step closer. She decided to let Raelle make the choice. It was hers to make anyway. And make a choice she did.
Raelle stepped closer carefully, one step at a time, as if there were miles between them. Scylla swallowed her nervousness, though the dryness in her mouth wouldn’t go away. Raelle, once close enough, spoke again.
“I just needed some time,” she said.
“Take all the time you need,” Scylla muttered as she gaze drifted to the floor.
“Look at me,” Raelle said, less demanding than requesting.
Scylla obliged, and Raelle kissed her when she did. Scylla’s heart rose right out of her chest and the air in her lungs was stolen from her. Her hands vibrated, made steady only when they fell to rest on Raelle’s sides. As for the other person involved, the kiss had an inevitability behind it, like all of her intention and energy was building towards it; she had been fighting it, but she gave it when it was right. She knew it was right. Their lips stayed pressed together for longer than either expected and the union was broken sooner than either wanted. Raelle played her forehead against Scylla’s and closed her eyes. Scylla did not shut hers. She wanted Raelle’s eyelids shake with the emotion that poured from her eyes as quietly as it did when she was sleeping. Scylla cried too.
“I still love you,” Raelle explained. “I didn’t mean what I said.”
“I’m sorry,” Scylla said. “There’s no excuse, but I need you to know I’m sorry.”
“I forgive you, Scyl. I forgive you.”