Work Text:
He had asked her to help with his bandages, which seemed a clear show of trust, but now he was just being difficult.
"Please stop moving," (Y/N) sighs, wondering how he supposedly does this every day when he can't even just stay still and let her. "This is becoming much harder than it needs to be."
Joshua huffs something under his breath but does become a little stiller, until she begins to peel off the old bandages around his mouth. He makes an upset noise and squirms a little. She could laugh, if she had reassurance that he wasn't in pain because it's just so unlike the stotic former Legate.
They sit near to the top of the cave on the ground, near a place in the ceiling where light shines through. He has a chair pulled up, but doesn't sit in it because there isn't one for her, or some such nonsense that kind of makes her want to hit him.
It's like he's trying to atone for everything he ended up doing in the Legion by being polite. Hasn't he atoned enough for the God that he assures her is so forgiving?
The first bandage is easy enough to pull off. She tries very hard to not pay attention to the awful smell coming from the ointment, or the way it looks like something that one might scrape off of a ghoul that had been in water for too long.
And really, the skin underneath it isn't much better. It's red, and obviously scared, and pulled too tightly around his bones. He hasn't reacted yet, but she can see that he's clenching his jaw, tightly and she sighs. "You don't always have to act like you aren't hurting, you know."
He stared at her with striking icy blue eyes, and she can almost hear him saying, "Of course I have to, I'm Joshua Graham, and I deserve every second of it." And while she partially understood, she also understood how much this has to hurt.
They keep silent for a while longer, and she decides that she hates it. He's always so quiet, spent he ever want to talk about things? She finishes up one arm and starts on the other before coming up with something good to say. "You have very nice eyes." They are very nice, and she's caught herself thinking that a lot lately, trying to come up with a good and yet not disgustingly sappy way to phrase it.
Oh, did she say a good thing to say? In hindsight, it was definitely not good. She had just needed to say something, and well, it wasn't as though it had been a lie. As expected, he just looked at (Y/N) with a slight glare. "Thank you, I suppose. There isn't much of me left to compliment, is there?"
It had been phrased as a joke, of course. And it was sort of funny, not just the joke but the fact that he'd made a joke. That was of course much better than just ignoring her. She couldn't help but snort out loud, and then reply in a reassuring voice. "Oh, I'm sure there's plenty left, it's just a little hard to tell with all the bandages in the way though."
He decides not to answer this time but at least the awkwardness has mostly subsided. She thinks for a minute before finishing putting the undoubtedly unhelpful ointment on his arm before covering it back up with some relatively new looking bandages that look suspiciously like the ones she'd found a day or two before while scavenging.
Then it occurs to her that she gets to unwrap his face, and that's sort of an odd thought. Did he look like a ghoul under there? There's only one way to find out, (Y/N) supposes, and peels off the first bandage, which exposes nothing except a tip of an ear, and some more bandages. Surprise.
Joshua doesn't move back though, and definitely doesn't say anything. Just watches reverently with those unexplainable blue eyes and let's her go on, which she does, of course. And as she goes on she notes that he's far too pale for someone living in this sort of weather all the time, and it's like he's had chunks of his nearly glowing skin taken out and it looks terribly wrong. He only shows signs of pain once, with a slight flinch when she pulls a bit off that was stuck to his skin.
The craziest thing is that he has hair still, at least kind of. It must've began to grow back in some places, and it's an a ashy black, instead of the pitch black she might've expected. When all of the bandage is off his face he sighs. "That feels...nice, I think. Thank you."
Despite everything, part of her tells the rest of her that he still looks alright, and despite her earlier reassurance, yes it is mostly because of his eyes. "You mean it doesn't hurt more? I would've thought..."
"Let me rephrase," he deadpans. "It hurts slightly less." The only noise she can manage at this point is a small "ahh." And then her arms are kind of just stuck there and her mouth can't make words because there's a lot to think about, here. How can he deal with it? How is he still going after everything?
But although it's just thought, it sure looks like she's staring. Her eyes snap away, and she mumbles out an apology. His lips curl into a small (visible!) frown and he asks her to put the new bandages on now. "That's not...I didn't mean to stare. Sorry. It's not that it's bad, I was just thinking of something."
That probably doesn't help the situation because her words dissolved into an apologetic mess, so she begins to roll the bandages out anyways and put them back on. It was nice while it lasted, being that it was probably not something he let a whole lot of people see. What had she done to deserve that? "It's fine, I'm perfectly aware of how I must look, although I admit that I haven't been around a mirror in some time."
Oh, so he doesn't believe her? "Really, I wasn't even paying attention. I was thinking about how brave you must be to live through all of that. It just...well, I'd probably jump off a cliff again and make sure I didn't miss the rocks again, if I'm being honest." All the band as are back on now and she toys with the container the ointment is in, not quite sure what to do so her hands.
"I thought about it quite a bit," he admits, eyes softening slightly and darting to the floor. "But I had faith that I survived for a reason, and I have began to see that reason, in the tribes I help to protect and in those around me. Such as you, Courier."
The way he says it just kind of just makes the word stop moving. Suddenly she's not thinking right and she really wants to kiss him. And so she goes for it, because it not now, then when, right?
"Don't." He says and she stops awkwardly halfway to where she'd assume his lips are. Oh dear, did she offend him, was it some sort of religious thing? How was she supposed to know?! But he follows this statement and her worries by pushing away her carefully wrapped bandages as to reveal his mouth and then goes in for the kiss himself.
(Y/N) is pleasantly surprised, and by the time the gentle kissing is over, she realizes that it might be hurt him. "Did it hurt, are you okay?"
There's a rough sound, that can only be laughter. "I'm fine, quit worrying about me. Come and sit down with me at my spot, would you?" She is so incredibly happy to join him.