Chapter Text
Prussian-Sloviskian Capital
Curt shifted in the closet, listening to Von Nazi try to sympathize with the Prussian Official and Prime Minister. The informant was running late, he should have been there by now, should have joined the meeting disguised as Burteles. What was taking him so long? He shifted again, earning himself an elbow to the ribs. He glared at Tatiana and in the faint light coming from under the door he could make out her expression. She was annoyed and her eyes seemed to say ‘Stop moving, you’ll give us away.’ He dropped his glare- feeling a little bad- and glanced back to the closet door as he heard another door open.
“Deepest apologies for my tardiness, Prime Minister. Oh hey,” he heard the informant say as he finally entered the room.
“And you are?” The Deadliest Man Alive asked him.
“I’m Burteles, the Royal Notary,” The informant started, getting audibly nervous as he kept talking. “The… The Royal Notaliser. The… The other guy was sick with sadness. So sad about our pwince. Sad with…”
“Burteles, of course. How could I forget? Yes,” The Prime Minister said as he fell for the disguise. Curt could almost feel the Informant’s relief.
“I do not have all day, gentlemen, please,” Von Nazi said, sounding irritated.
“No. Listen. I’m sorry, Nazi. I just, I don’t think we’re in a place that we can elect another leader as wonderful as our precious Prince Feurgin,” The Prime Minister said.
“A shining light for all Prussian Slovakians extinguished too soon.” The Prussian Diplomat said.
“To a man who is not here, but should be,” The informant added. Curt could faintly hear the clinking of glass and he found some irony in the fact these Prussian officials had to be drunk for Nazi to convince them to work with him.
“I know I can't convince you to replace your prince, and trust me you have my sympathy,” Von Nazi started singing. Curt fought back the urge to shoot him in favor of not exposing himself. “But ze guy vas killed, you need to rebuild. Oh, Vait! I've just had an epiphany. Vhat if my Nazi friends made you strong again, you could use a helping hand. Your country's at its knees, time for a reprise. Ze Nazis are not so bad. You've been pushed to the ground, but turn zhat frown upside down.”
“The Nazis are not so bad,” The Prussian Diplomat sang.
“Zhat's right!” Von Nazi said excitedly. “No need to sell your soul, just give us control.”
“The Nazis, they're not so bad,” The Prime Minister added.
“Yes!” Von Nazi said. “I should take zhe reins, I've got a very good brain. You know it's true so don't be mad.”
“Oh, he's so big and strong!” The Prime Minister said.
“And I love this song!” The Informant added and Curt couldn’t help but feel bad for the informant, who was forced to be part of this song.
“The Nazis are not so bad,” Von Nazi, the Informant, the Prime Minister, and the Prussian Diplomat sang.
“YEEEES,” Von Nazi said excitedly
“Nazis are not so bad, Nazis are not so bad. Nazis are not so, Nazis are not so, Nazis, Nazis, Nazis, Nazis, are not, so,” everyone except the Deadliest Man Alive sang.
“Not so bad! Wonderbar. Ve shall begin flooding zhe populist with Nazi propaganda zhis very day,” Von Nazi said. Curt glanced at Tatiana, silently asking if they should step out now. She shook her head no and he bit back a groan.
“Sir, you’re forgettin’ about your Nazi Super castle again,” The Deadliest Man Alive said, making Curt wonder why he was so insistent about it.
“Oh, I’m so forgetful. Mr. Deadliest Man, I wouldn’t get anything done if it wasn’t for you. Prime Minister, We believe it is necessary to our new national moral if we announce our presence in a big way. Thusly we’d like to begin constructions of the New Nazi Capitol immediately,” Von Nazi said, his tone loaded with fake pleasantness.
“Of course, whatever you need,” the Prime Minister said.
“All we need is your signature. Right here on this deed…” The Deadliest Man said as Curt heard a pen scribbling on paper. “Thank you. And of course, the royal notary.” Curt heard the informant also sign the deed.
“Thank you,” the deadliest man said with a laugh before falling silent. ”Hold It! I smell a traitor. And he is in this very room right now.”
Curt glanced over at Tatiana, silently asking if now they stepped out. She shook her head no as the Prime Minister and Prussian Diplomat gasped at the same time the Informant tried to play shocked.
“Fee... Fi... Fo... FEEM! One of these men is not who they seem… to be,” The deadliest man alive growled, reminding Curt of a giant.
“Well, what is it? Is one of them… famous or something? I don’t know,” Von Nazi said, causing Curt and Tatiana to roll their eyes at the supposed genius’s stupidity.
“That stench. It’s On Both Of Them! There is something not right about these too,” the Deadliest man alive said.
“Stop It This Instance! Why I have known these two men my entire life. Burteles and I were schoolboys together. I’m proud to call them my countrymen,” The Prime Minister said. Curt silently asked Tatiana if they should step out now, but before Tatiana could answer, the Deadliest man alive spoke again.
“Mega. And the girl, they’re here,” The deadliest man growled.
“That’s right. We’re here to stop you,” Curt said as he charged out of the closet with Tatiana, gun aimed at the Deadliest man alive.
“Get out of here now, go! Go!” Tatiana told the two officials, prompting them both to run out of the room and the Informant to rush to Tatiana and Curts’ side.
“Come on! What? Go after them. Go after them!” Von Nazi yelled, gesturing for the Deadliest man to go after the officials. When the Deadliest man just scoffed, Von Nazi rushed forward with his hands up in a ‘don’t shoot’ gesture. “What? We just started a very amicable working relationship with them. We need them!” he whined.
“No, we don’t. And here’s another thing we don’t need,” the Deadliest man said before shoving his arm forward and stabbing Von Nazi in the back, eliciting a scream from the man as the blade punctured the skin just a few inches to the left of his spine.
“WOW! I was not expecting that,” Curt said as Von Nazi collapsed to the ground with a groan.
“Stabbed in the back, literally,” Von Nazi said as he dug into his pocket. “Et Tu, Mr. Deadliest Man.” Curt was shocked as Von Nazi threw glitter into the face of the Deadliest Man Alive.
“What? No! Stop!” The deadliest man yelled as he stabbed into Von Nazis’ chest repeatedly, the blade now dripping dark red blood as Von Nazi finally stopped moving.
“Did Von Nazi betray you as well?” Tatiana asked from next to Curt as the Deadliest man started laughing to himself, prompting Curt to straighten out his arms and tighten his grip on his gun, which had loosened in his bewilderment.
“Oh, my, my, my. Quite a lot of effort to get my hands on this little thing,” the deadliest man said with a laugh as he held up a piece of paper that Curt didn’t recognize at first.
“For a piece of paper? I can’t figure you out, man,” Curt said, shaking his head in confusion.
“No, you really can’t, can you? But I’ve had you figured out from the start,” The deadliest man said, his tone turning dark as he added on a hint of malice. “‘Personal history does have its benefits, Mega’.”
Curt’s breathing caught in his throat. That was… that was Owen’s voice. But that was impossible. Owen was dead. Curt knew Owen was dead. Curt shook his head, figuring his mind was messing with him again, making him think he saw Owen when he wasn’t really there.
But then the deadliest man was pulling at his neck and his skin was peeling up and- was he wearing a mask? It appeared he was as the mask was pulled completely off his head and was tossed to the side, revealing a man who was pale and had faint bags under his eyes and his hair was greasy and longer than before and he had a little bit of stubble, but Curt still recognized this man. Of course, he recognized his old partner. Curt could never forget Owen’s face.
Curt shook his head again. This wasn’t the time for him to be seeing things, he was dealing with something right now and he couldn’t be seeing Owen right now. But when he looked back at Owen, he could still see the man he loved standing there, clear as day. A smug glint was shining in Owens’ eyes and his lip was turned up in a cruel smile. Owen was really here. The Informant nudged Curts’ side and he blinked, realizing Tatiana had said something.
“Hello, Curt. Long time no see,” Owen said, his eyes meeting Curts’. “The Deadliest Man Alive, oof. What a juicy character, eh? If it hadn’t been for my spot on aim and interest in foreign policy, you know, well I might have been an actor. You know, it takes quite a bit of discipline to research and rehearse a role to perfection. So that when the lights go up, and it’s showtime, you’re ready,” Owen said, sounding proud until he narrowed his eyes and his tone went cold. “Or we can just do things your way and simply wing it. But we all know how that turns out right?”
“How… how are you here? Why are you here? I watched you fall. You’re dead,” Curt said, struggling to keep his voice from cracking.
“Well, part of me is. Hell, I probably spent as much time hating you as you did. But then I realized what that night had taught me,” Owen said, his voice gaining a slight growl. “Perhaps putting the fate of the world in the hands of an arrogant, impulsive brute is simply not the best option.”
“So you felt asking the Nazis for help would be a good idea?” Tatiana asked as Curt struggled to find a response.
“Oh, no, no, no. I’ve been manipulating Von Nazi from the very beginning. The fool was an expendable puppet,” Owen said, turning to Von Nazi and messing with his face. “‘Look at me, I keep glitter up my sleeve. Waka waka,’ No, no, no, no, no… No, no, no. His plan was merely a prologue. We haven’t even reached our second act climax yet,” Owen said with a slight grin.
“Our?” The Informant asked.
“Ah, well, you see, after my accident I, uh, I met someone who invited me into a little group he has been organizing. Inventors, entrepreneurs, politicians mostly. I’ve gotten very close with its directors and done quite a bit of networking in the industry…” Owen explained before trailing off for a moment. “Damn, really should have been an actor,” Owen said before his left arm jerked slightly and his hand twitched as if he was experiencing a small yet unexpected pain. Curt glanced over to Tatiana and the Informant, wondering if they noticed and saw anything odd about it. They didn’t seem to have noticed.
“You see, the attendees of this little society are all pooling their collective influences and wealth, to try and create a better world. We call ourselves, ‘CHIMERA’,” Owen continued after pausing for effect.
“The fire-breathing creature from Greek mythology. Body of a lion, head of a goat, and dragon on its back,” the Informant said, sounding a little shocked and confused.
“With wings and a tail that is a snake,” Tatiana added in a bored way. Owen froze for half a second before another grin was on his face as he spoke.
“We got a little bit of everything! Well done, you two. Curt always had a penchant for surrounding himself with colleagues smarter than himself,” Owen said, the snide comment stinging Curt.
“This Chimera was what… funding Von nazi’s schemes?” Curt asked, trying to ignore the hurt.
“Oh, very good Curt. Finally catching up with the rest of us,” Owen said snidely.
“But what use is a Nazi nation to Chimera?” Curt asked him.
“I don’t have all day for your bird brain to figure it out, Curt,” Owen said, his left hand subtly tensing up. Curt knew It was something Owen used to do when he was going to be injured in some way or another.
“Bird? Little birdies? His scientist developing?” Tatiana asked quietly. Curt looked over to her and could see in her eyes as it clicked in for her. “You’re after the technology.”
“Pop goes the weasel!” Owen exclaimed, his hand jerking the slightest bit again, which he played off by throwing his hands up in the air. “An advanced Nazi information surveillance network to collect and archive state secrets.”
“Why drag this out till now if you have had it the entire time?” Curt asked Owen, his eyes flickering to Owens’ hands- which weren’t tense anymore- before meeting his eyes.
“Yes, but I didn’t yet have… this,” Owen said, holding up the paper from before as his eyes flickered to Curt briefly.
“The deed to build a nazi castle on Prussian land,” The informant clarified for Curt and Tatiana.
“It’s not what’s on the land, my boy. But what’s under it,” Owen informed them, his hand tensing the slightest bit again.
“Dirt?” Tatiana asked. Owen paused for a moment, his hand relaxing as he looked over at Tatiana with an unimpressed yet annoyed look.
“No,” he said, looking back at the deed.
“Rocks?” Curt asked.
“Closer,” Owen said, nodding his head to the side.
“Dinosaurs,” the informant said.
“I- …” Owen let out a deep, exasperated sigh before his hand tensed up again. “No, the largest wealth of pure unmined natural Silicon the world has ever seen!”
Curt shared a confused look with Tatiana and the Informant as they all responded with an “Ah,” simultaneously.
“Don’t you get it? Those stores of silicon beneath the earth’s crust will allow us to mass-produce Von Nazi’s technology and deploy his system on a global scale! I’d have all the world's secrets,” Owen explained, his hand twitching a little harder this time. “I’d be God. Ha. Now what a world that would be, eh?”
“My government will never allow this,” Curt said. He was confused with how Owen was acting- as Owen had never been a fan of holding too much power- as well as how his hand kept tensing up.
“Not even the soviets will,” Tatiana added.
“Not at first, no. Everybody likes to do the watching, but no one likes to be watched,” Owen admitted.
“You can’t just invade the privacy of civilians without reason or suspicion!” Tatiana yelled at him.
“Well, I like to think we are just turning everyone into a spy, They just aren’t aware of it,” Owen said. That was another thing that confused Curt as Owen had once told him that he was happy to be a spy as it meant civilians were left out of the stress of the job.
“Good thing we’re here to stop you. Give it up,” Curt said. Owen stared at him for a good few seconds before answering.
“What?” he asked.
“Th- The technology. The surveillance network. We’re gonna destroy it,” Curt said. Owen started laughing after that.
“You bloody idiots! It’s not just some casefile of something you can hold in your hand. The current system is as big as an entire warehouse, nay, compound,” Owen said, his hand jerking again as Curt, Tatiana, and the Informant gasped.
“And it’s filled with enormous computing consoles,” Owen continued, his hand jerking a little harder as the three gasped again.
“And it takes up an entire island in the Pacific Ocean!” Owen exclaimed, his hand twitching a third, much harder time as the other spies gasped a much louder, third time.
“Well, I’m off. Terribly late for dinner with my new friends,” Owen said, standing up to leave before pausing for a moment. “A bit of advice, dear. If you choose to work with the infamous Curt Mega, Take caution. His partners don’t tend to last.”
With that vague threat, Owen shot the informant in the chest but his eyes were trained on Curt.
“Always end on a high note, they say. Well, the fate of the world is in your hands, Curt. Are you going to go after me? Or are you going to go after the machine? I think I know which one you’ll choose,” Owen said, going to leave again before turning back to them one last time. “Oh, and Tatiana. Don’t ‘slip up’,” And then he was gone.
Curt turned his full attention to the Informant, who looked between him and Tatiana with a small sad smile. He was quickly going pale and was clearly losing strength.
“I guess this is where my story ends. In the old… Socialist… new… democratic…” he said, his voice trailing off as he collapsed.
Tatiana stepped away from him, a determined expression on her face as Curt stayed by his side.
“I’ll locate the island and destroy the system,” she said after a moment, causing Curt to look up and step closer to her.
“No. I should be the one. I need to be the one,” he said, his words slowly trailing off into mumbling as something clicked in his mind. He’d failed the informant. A good man was dead because of him. He didn’t have a chance to grieve now as Tatiana spoke up.
“What you need is to go after Owen,” Tatiana said firmly, stealing his attention. Curt looked at her for a moment before smiling.
“Thank you… Partner,” he said. Tatiana returned the smile before her expression hardened.
“Go!” she yelled before turning to leave. With that goodbye, Curt turned and ran out the door Owen had taken.