Chapter Text
The haunting theme music of the podcast drifts off and then the upbeat voice of the host breaks the silence.
[Georgie] "Hello and welcome to today's episode of What the Ghost!"
[Melanie] "In today's episode me and Georgie here will be discussing our visit and exploration of The Viaduct Tavern, found right here in London."
[Georgie] "Thank you Melanie! Yes, last week we visited the Viaduct Tavern both during the evening while it was open and very excitedly in a behind the scenes tour after it was closed for the night!"
[Melanie] "Can confirm, it was a good pub. Great gin and the staff were nice. Eight out of ten, would drink there again."
[Georgie] (Sounding amused.) "I mean that is why everyone is here, for your pub reviews! Why only 8 then?"
[Melanie] "It was noisy when we went and was a bit cramped, so it was difficult to move around easily. But they did let Rufus in no problem."
[Georgie] "That's true, some places can be funny about dogs, even when they are Guide Dogs. But it was a bit cosy, I managed to stumble over a couple of times!"
[Jon] (from the background, clearly rolling his eyes.) "You could trip over your shadow though."
[Georgie] "Hey! Rude!"
(Sound of Jon and Melanie high fiving)
[Melanie] (Teasing.) "and you don't even drink."
[Georgie] (Chuckling.) "Right, we're moving on. Let's get into some history then shall we? The Tavern was opened in 1869 as a Gin palace, serving the locals which included the criminal classes and barristers and lawyers!"
[Melanie] "Yea being built next to a prison will do that."
[Georgie] "Correct. It was built next to Newgate prison and basically had front row seats to the gallows, leading to lots of people claiming the area to be a hotspot for ghosts and paranormal experiences.
[Jon] (Scoffs.) "No it's a bunch of drunks imagining things."
[Melanie] "Damn, no need to be such a cynic. We haven't even started yet."
[Jon] (Flatly.) "Ghosts aren't real Melanie."
[Georgie] "Jon! Stop antagonizing her, we cannot have this argument every episode."
[Melanie] (Smugly.) "Yeah Jon. Let the professionals speak."
[Georgie] (Sound of her hitting Melanie's arm.) "AS I WAS SAYING… There were some interesting people around the Tavern that we were hoping to contact."
[Melanie] "They sound like they'd be good drinking pals."
[Georgie] "Are we not good enough?"
[Melanie] "You don't drink and Jon is… Well Jon."
[Jon] "I'll have to go out drinking with my OTHER friends then."
[Melanie] "You don't have enough friends to not invite me."
[Georgie] "Play nice you two."
[Melanie] "Fine. Tell me about the cool people in the gin palace then."
[Georgie] "I'm glad you asked! So first of all, there is a bullet hole in one of the paintings, from a soldier that had a bit too much fun!"
[Melanie] "See! Good drinking pals."
[Jon] (Resigned.) "You'd definitely have been shot if you lived back then."
[Georgie] "As well as him, there are 'Signature Serves' which are based on the favourite cocktails of people in Newgate Prison for different crimes!
[Melanie] "I made sure to try all the fun ones!"
[Georgie] "Yea you could be arrested for a lot of stuff back then."
[Melanie] "My favourite was the Sarah Westwood, who apparently got 5 years for stealing a bottle of sherry. Gin, Tonic, cucumber and a rose petal, my kind of drink."
[Jon] "That is a very you crime."
[Melanie] (Smirking.) "I'm not going to incriminate myself by commenting on that."
[Georgie] "Very wise, don't want them locking you up!"
[Melanie] "Aww you'd miss me?"
[Georgie] "Course babe, who else would host this with me?"
[Jon] "I am literally sat right here."
[Georgie & Melanie] (In-sync.) "No."
[Jon] (Offended.) "What? Why? I could do it."
[Georgie] "Well… to put it nicely…"
[Melanie] (Interrupting Georgie.) "You would scare everyone away, you would spend the entire time explaining away any evidence with increasingly bizarre theories."
[Jon] "Oh because ghosts are a much saner theory."
[Georgie] "They are real, you know I've seen one."
[Jon] "I know you think you saw one. But you were stressed, it was late…"
[Melanie] "Jon. You're being a dick again."
[Jon] (Stuttering awkwardly.) "Sorry Georgie."
[Georgie] "It's alright. But we've gone completely off topic now."
[Melanie] "Right, so we were in a booth and in my research I'd found stories of drinks moving when their owners weren't paying attention. So, of course we tried to test it out.
[Georgie] "Yes! We left them to look at the painting with a bullet hole and came back and they had moved!"
[Jon] "I'm telling you it was a member of staff or some drunk thinking they're funny."
[Melanie] "Nope. Definitely a ghost."
[Georgie] "We checked with the staff and they hadn't seen anyone by our table while we were gone!"
(Jon scoffs in the background.)
[Melanie] (Taunting Jon.) "Plus I swear there was a cold patch when we sat back down.
(A thump sounds in the background, as Jon drops his head onto the desk.)
[Georgie] "So while we were sat there we also heard some weird thumps, however as the pub was still open we cannot confirm what caused them.
[Melanie] "Ghosts."
[Georgie] "But then once the pub closed for the night, we got our backstage tour!"
[Melanie] "There's original cells from Newgate Prison down there!"
[Georgie] "Yea it was creepy. They sent a shiver down my spine when we walked in there."
[Melanie] "Ghostly possession."
[Georgie] "There would be a lot of unsettled spirits down here."
[Jon] "Wow a cellar was cold, what a shocker."
[Georgie] "Shush you. It was a feeling not just the cold! There was an atmosphere in there."
[Melanie] "Right so, after a bit of history we locked you in one of the cells to do your meditating with the spirits."
[Jon] "Otherwise known as daring the ghosts to show themselves."
(Cuts to audio of Georgie taunting and swearing at the 'ghosts'.)
[Georgie] "Well the nice approach didn't work!"
[Jon] "Because you're talking to air."
[Melanie] "Nah me and Rufus did a circuit of the cellar and he definitely got a bad feeling about the place."
[Georgie] "His hackles were raised the whole way round."
[Melanie] "Right! And being a guide dog he doesn't get spooked easily!"
[Georgie] (Cooing) "Yes you're a good boy aren't you, yes you are."
[Melanie] "So having been around the spooky cellar we went up to the first floor rooms."
[Georgie] "These were currently being used as stockrooms, however back in the day they were bedrooms, available to rent… (Suggestively) for the evening."
[Melanie] "So we decided to hold a bit of seance and to see if anyone wanted to talk to us."
[Georgie] "The three of us sat in a circle holding hands and reached out to any of the girls would had worked up here."
[Melanie] "During which I had the overwhelming urge to punch Jon."
[Jon] (Coughing and choking in surprise) "What did I do?!"
[Melanie] (Casually) "Clearly I picked up on one of the girl's spirits, who thought you were a client. Obviously."
(Georgie giggling in the background)
[Jon] "What?!... I'm not… aurgh…"
(Sound of paper being screwed up and whistling through the air."
[Melanie] "Ow! Rude."
[Georgie] (Still chuckling quietly) "After there were no obvious signs of activity we turned the spirit box on."
[Melanie] "Jon's favourite piece of equipment."
(Sounds of groans from Jon)
[Georgie] "It's really not that bad! It has to be like that to allow the spirits to manipulate the sound."
[Jon] (Sounding resigned) "You're not the one that has to listen to the audio trying to pick anything out, and then listen to it over and again during editing."
[Melanie] (Brightly) "We should use it more often!"
[Georgie] "Well while it was on, me and Melanie were explaining about how times have changed and women's rights have increased."
[Melanie] "And how Georgie is actually Jon's boss!"
(Cuts to audio of static and their voices, with occasional blips of random words.)
[Georgie] "I'd also like to add, while we were doing this I felt a presence and saw a shadow move across the wall, even though the three of us were all sitting down."
[Melanie] "What was the vibe?"
[Georgie] "Pissed off old man."
[Melanie] "Well that explains why we didn't get any proof, sexist pig didn't want to talk to us."
[Georgie] "Hey it's my job to be rude the ghosts!"
[Melanie] "I'm rude to everyone."
[Jon] "It's true, she threatens to stab me all the time."
[Melanie] "Snitch!"
[Georgie] (Resigned) "No-ones stabbing anyone."
[Melanie] (With a sigh) "Fine."
[Georgie] "So with that I think that concludes our ghost hunt at the Viaduct Tavern! Any final words?
[Jon] "Ghosts aren't real."
[Melanie] "Wrong, ghosts are sexist."
[Georgie] "Thank you very much. If any of you have any questions come talk to us on our socials, which is @WhatTheGhost on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Tag your questions with #WTGQuestions and any ghostly experiences with #GhostHunt for your chance to be featured in our show.
[Melanie] "See you ghost hunters next time."
[Georgie] "Bye."
The closing podcast music drifts in then, before the closing declarations of rights and licenses starts. Jon jumps in their seat when they feels someone flick their forehead. Their eyes look up from the recording on their laptop to Georgie grinning down at them. Rolling their eyes, they pull the headphones off their head. "What do you want?" They say impatiently.
Grabbing the laptop off their lap, she grins. "Stop working! It's ready! Come watch Bake Off with me." She whines, raising the laptop over her head out of Jon's reach.
Jon tries to leap up to grab it, but Georgie dances out of reach, using her height to her advantage. Glaring at her, Jon crosses their arms over their chest. They stare at each other for a minute, silently conversing. "Fine. But I get cuddles from the Admiral." Jon finally agrees.
Letting out a celebratory whoop, Georgie grins and hands him back the laptop. "Save anything you need to and then get your butt on the sofa." She tells them firmly. Holding their hands up in submission, Jon agrees, grabbing the laptop back out of her grasp. She walks out of the office, down to the living room. Jon quickly saves the recording of the podcast, knowing better than to come between Georgie and Bake Off. Shuffling down the stairs they stretch their back out, with a few satisfying (if worrying) cracks and pulls their hair out of the tight bun. Shaking it out, it falls down on their shoulders and they run their hands through it, feeling some of the stress drain out of them already.
In the living room, Georgie is already curled up on the sofa with a blanket, a glass of wine and the Admiral curled up next to her. She hands Jon a glass of wine as they sit. They curl up under the blanket together and the Admiral pads up, purring. He climbs up onto Jon's lap and starts kneading their lap. "Hello sir." Jon coos, scruffing behind his ears. His forehead presses into Jon's chest with a happy purr. "No Melanie?" They ask, not looking up from the Admiral.
A camera shutter clicks, making them look up to Georgie grinning at her phone screen. "No she's got a headache." She says. Chuckling at her phone, before turning the screen and showing them an image of the two of them curled up under a blanket, Jon's hair hanging in long waves and the Admiral staring at Jon lovingly from their lap. "Look how cute you are!" She coos.
Jon rolls their eyes, but a soft smile creeps on their face at the picture. "Whatever. Start the programme won't you." They say, failing at sounding irritated at her. She grins and grabs the remote, pressing play and resting her head on Jon's shoulder.