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Running my fingers through his hair, I gingerly tried to undo a knot in Sirius’s hair one handedly while the other held the start of the fancy braid Lily taught me. “That hurts,” my boyfriend complained at a particularly nasty one. I kept pulling as gently as I could to get the stupid knot to stop hurting him.
Finally untangling his hair, I ran my fingers through again a few times to make sure the rest of the knots were out in order to continue braiding, “well it wouldn’t hurt if you actually brushed your own hair.”
He leaned his head back to look at me from where he sat on the floor in front of me, only for me to push his head back forward, “but it feels nicer when you brush it,” he whined yet again, but lucky for him he’s cute. I ignored him, to focus on the braid at hand. Finally finishing the single large braid, not nearly as clean looking as Lily’s but not bad if I do say so myself.
Telling him his hair was done, he leaned back again, resting his head on my lap. “I’m ready to head up to bed, wanna sleep?” He asked me in the most seductive voice he could, to which Peter let out an obvious groan over his homework. Even in the common room Sirius will never resist a good chance to flirt. When Peter asked us to at least ‘do it quick’, I can only assume my boyfriend winked when he replied, “no promises.”
Peter has no idea.
Sirius stood and grabbed me by the hand, practically yanking me upstairs to the bedroom. Once in the privacy of the room, I remarked, “You know you don’t have to pretend around James and Peter, they’re literally our best friends.”
He did not miss a beat, “Reputation Moony. Rep. U. Tation,” he enunciated far too dramatically. Then again, given it’s Sirius, it would be a disappointing response if he had done it with any less drama.
But that doesn’t mean I’ll just drop the subject. “Does James even know?” I asked him while still standing next to the door. How could he not tell his best friend about his real sexuality? They tell each other everything and yet one of the big parts of his identity he still can’t share.
He turned and gave me the puppy eyes, looking exactly how he does when he’s Padfoot and begs for something, “That’s not a very sexy question,” he stuck out his lip in a pout.
“Oh yes how could I forget, you just love sexy,” I rolled my eyes at him, knowing he could not miss the obvious irony. He really just loves to be impossible, now doesn’t he?
He gave a casual shrug, “James knows all he needs to know,” he said it so offhandedly like it didn’t even matter. As if not telling James wasn’t kind of a big deal. James is the one that said we shouldn’t have secrets after the whole finding out what I am thing.
My voice softened, “you don’t need to pretend with him, he’s like your brother. He wouldn’t judge you.”
He stared at me for a few breaths, instead of responding with a quick quip like usual. “Whatever, Rem,” he dismissed me. I sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to have a deep conversation tonight, no matter how much I think hiding his real sexuality from the other two Marauders, especially James, is more harmful than beneficial.
“Now come onnn,” he grabbed my hand and pulled me to his bed, bringing me into the mattress with him. “You wanna?” He asked, voice almost inaudible. He never fails to ask to kiss me no matter what mood he’s in.
I gave him a grin, earning one back right away, “Of course I want to,” I wrapped my arms around him. Only with my consent did he lean forward to kiss me, gentle and slow. No matter how many gentle kisses he gives me, it’s always like the first time. And I kissed him back, only slightly harder, but never so hard it makes him uncomfortable.
No matter how much Sirius flirts and teases, he can’t pretend with me. I never miss how uncomfortable he gets when the touches get too much or things get too heated. It only took me asking Mr. Stubborn a solid three thousand times before he finally came out to me as homoromantic. Though he may or may not have turned into Padfoot and threatened to destroy everything I own if I dared to tell anyone else.
He did that thing in which he went harder, trying to prove to himself that he’s not scared, that he can totally not be a virgin if he wants to, but I only kissed him more gently. That’s when he pulled back, “Moon, did I go too hard? Did I hurt you, I didn’t mean to, god I’m not trying to be like my parents I swear, I don’t want to hurt y-”
I quickly cut him off because he could get too lost in his thoughts, “Pads, hey, it’s okay,” I kept my voice soft and soothing, “You didn’t hurt me. You’ve never hurt me. You aren’t your parents, you are not like them at all, you would never hurt me.” I pulled him closer, running my fingers over his hair, normally I would thread them through his hair but the braid is in the way.
He whispered so quiet I wouldn’t have heard if I wasn’t just a breath away from him, “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You could never.”
The only time we moved that night was to close the four poster curtains, to which Sirius whined like a dog until I was back in his arms. Even when Peter came in and utterly failed at being quiet, like how many times can he trip in a row? And even when James joked when he got into bed that we can’t keep our hands off each other, we just continued to cuddle. Legs entangled, holding each other, we eventually both fell asleep.