Work Text:
To say that Jiang Cheng is shivering is an understatement. His body has been jerking involuntarily for around an hour now, and his teeth are chattering, maintaining a steady but irritating rhythm.
He knew that Gusu would be cold in winter, but fuck, he didn’t know it would be this cold. He’s wearing 5 layers of robes already, but the wind still manages to pierce his skin as if he’s bare. He’s so close to giving up, but every time he closes his eyes, his mind generates an image of his tombstone in the ancestral hall stating, “Here lies Jiang Wanyin, Sandu Shengshou, sect leader of the Yunmeng Jiang Sect. Cause of death: Froze his ass off on the way to his boyfriend’s house.” He sighs, deciding that it’s such a stupid way to die, and he tries to think of other things instead.
He settles on cursing Yunmeng for accustoming him to the warm and comfortable temperatures there.
— — —
It feels like eternity before the familiar gates of Cloud Recesses come into view. He sees two disciples guarding the front and Lan Xichen waiting for him. The sight gives him energy, and he speeds up.
When he reaches the steps, he hurriedly gets down from his sword, causing him to wobble. Lan Xichen rushes to his side with a worried expression and asks him if anything’s wrong. Jiang Cheng replies, “Nothing’s wrong, A-Huan. I just missed you,” then turns to loop his hands around Lan Xichen’s neck. The two disciples audibly gasp at the action. Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng feels Lan Xichen stiffen. He can practically hear the inner conflict Lan Xichen is going through. He instantly feels apologetic and tries to pull back, an excuse forming at the tip of his tongue, when strong hands wrap around his waist.
The two disciples audibly gasp louder.
He relaxes into the now-proper embrace, not paying much heed to them or Lan Xichen’s initial reaction. He understands why Lan Xichen reacted that way, after all. It isn’t because he isn’t used to Jiang Cheng initiating physical affection. On the contrary, Jiang Cheng initiates physical affection often, almost as much as Lan Xichen does. When they’re together, he likes to nuzzle his face in Lan Xichen’s neck or card his hands through Lan Xichen’s hair, tying and braiding it at times.
So that definitely isn’t the reason. It’s more of how they aren’t used to doing those physical affections in public. Above the fact that most of the cultivation world doesn’t know about their relationship, it isn’t in their personalities to openly show their fondness for each other. Lan Xichen has a huge amount of restraint, and he himself doesn’t like the idea of others seeing him vulnerable. As a result, they both usually wait until they’re alone to indulge in sweet actions and desires.
This time, though, he allows himself to relish Lan Xichen’s hold, not caring if anyone else comes across them. It’s been merely 3 weeks since his last visit to Cloud Recesses and they can normally last a longer time of not seeing each other, but he desperately needs Lan Xichen right now. He’s had a particularly rough week. For one, the squabbles between the vendors never seem to end. The space he allots for the letters regarding those is always occupied, no matter how many fights he appeases. The elders also introduced him to a young lady from the Lanling Jin sect, saying that she fits his standards and they should get married quickly to produce an heir.
In normal instances, he didn’t mind when they brought someone to meet him. From the moment he submitted his requirements for his cultivation partner, the elders found it difficult to find someone that fits his list. Therefore, only a few people were brought to meet him. Whenever it happened, he flatly declined or spent as little time as possible to get to know the person. His sect leader and uncle duties were simply of utmost importance, so he didn’t bother to concern himself with marriage or making children.
But it’s different now. Everything is finally at peace, and he’s been in a happy and fulfilling relationship with Lan Xichen for a little over 3 years. He was close to yelling so during their meeting, but he managed to hold himself back. Nevertheless, it put him in a foul mood. He wasn’t mad that he couldn’t tell the elders about their relationship. He just thought that they’ve abandoned the topic after such a long time of not bringing it up.
— — —
Pushing his troubles to the back of his mind, he inhales the comforting scent of sandalwood. He knows Lan Xichen has been applying more ever since he mentioned his love for it, and he’s most grateful for that right now. The smell of it, combined with Lan Xichen’s arms enveloping him, greatly soothes him and reduces his shivering.
A few minutes in, when he’s in the middle of considering staying in Lan Xichen’s arms forever, he hears “When do you think they’ll realize that we’re here, Lan Zhan?” from behind them. He doesn’t need to see the person to know who it is.
Huffing because their moment got ruined, he extracts himself from their embrace to meet Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji. He passes by the two disciples from earlier, and they try their best to greet him without spluttering or looking directly at his eyes. He spares them a glance and sighs inwardly. The Lans are indeed repressed, he thinks, because they can’t handle seeing even a mere hug.
When he reaches Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian has an annoying grin plastered on his face and moves to swing his hand over Jiang Cheng’s shoulder, teasing wordlessly about what he caught them doing. Lan Wangji’s expression is stoic as per usual, but Jiang Cheng can feel the coldness radiating off of him. He bows to greet Jiang Cheng anyway.
Jiang Cheng gives a curt nod back, movements restricted by Wei Wuxian. He faces him and says, “Shut the fuck up, Wei Wuxian. What are you doing here?”
“Aiya, can’t I greet my brother when he arrives? And in case you might have forgotten, I married Lan Zhan, so I live here, too. Not only Xichen-ge.”
“How can I forget that you married Lan Wangji? I’ve seen so many disgustingly shameless things I can’t get out of my mind anymore.”
Wei Wuxian childishly sticks his tongue out, and Jiang Cheng elbows his waist, earning a yelp. He grins smugly, satisfied at the reaction. Wei Wuxian, on the other hand, interprets it as a challenge. Soon enough, they fall into a routine of bickering and roughhousing. Wei Wuxian says brazen comments and taunts, and Jiang Cheng replies with insults and half-empty threats to break his legs. They do all of those while simultaneously hitting and running away from each other.
Jiang Cheng is about to give a particular slap to Wei Wuxian that he knows would make him gain a cry, but before he can do so, Lan Xichen places a hand on his waist and sends a small smile to placate him. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Lan Wangji doing the same to Wei Wuxian.
Well, Lan Wangji isn’t really smiling, but Jiang Cheng can see the way his features soften. Whether Jiang Cheng liked it or not (obviously, it’s the latter), he found himself spending some time with Lan Wangji whenever he visited Cloud Recesses. From those visits, he got more adept at reading him. He isn’t as good as Lan Xichen or Wei Wuxian, but he’s probably better than everyone else, save for that behaved Lan disciple — Lan Sizhui? — that Jin Ling spends a lot of time with.
He mellows down with Lan Xichen’s touch, while Wei Wuxian melts by Lan Wangji’s side. He has never noticed before, but the Twin Jades totally have he and Wei Wuxian wrapped around their fingers. He scoffs.
— — —
It’s Lan Xichen who speaks first after they’ve been calmed down. “If you’ll excuse us, Wanyin and I will be heading for the Hanshi now,” he says, to which Wei Wuxian replies that he and Lan Wangji have to leave soon as well. They ought to check out a case in Caiyi, he states, but they stopped by to greet Jiang Cheng.
The four of them part ways with short bows. Wei Wuxian shouts, “Congrats in advance, Jiang Cheng!” with a delighted expression and pats Jiang Cheng’s shoulder. Jiang Cheng looks confusedly at him, waiting for any further explanation, but all he receives in return is a thumbs up.
He looks at Lan Xichen and sees a shy of a blush on Lan Xichen’s cheeks. He intends to ask what Wei Wuxian meant when Lan Xichen interrupts and tells him that they have to walk fast as the snow might fall anytime. He narrows his eyes, sensing that something’s being hidden from him. Lan Xichen gives him his renowned dazzling smile, an underlying tone in it telling him to be patient, and he drops his question. How can he say no to that? He chooses to focus on Cloud Recesses instead.
Aside from the place being colder than normal, it truly is ethereal during winter. It has always looked unearthly, with its calm and serene disposition, but winter makes it look celestial. There is still evidence of snow from the day before, and it coats the dark wood of the buildings with white. The trees and bushes are also covered, the color blending with the flowers and making them look even more lovely than they already are.
He then studies Lan Xichen. He’s wearing the customary Gusu Lan Sect robes. The only difference between his robes and the other disciples’ robes is that his is decorated with lavish designs — outer robes and belt garnished with various shades of blue, inner robes adorned with swirling cloud patterns, and Liebing and a tassel strapped to his waist — befitting for a sect leader. Just like he had predicted earlier, the snow did fall fast. Thus, his black hair was starting to have traces of the contrasting white snow. A few have also fallen on his face, and he brushes them off with graceful movements.
Jiang Cheng thinks he looks divine, walking amidst the snowfall. He’s aware that he has made fun of Lan Xichen’s robes before for looking too much like mourning clothes, but truthfully, Lan Xichen looks more like an angel with them on.
— — —
They arrive at the Hanshi just before the snow begins to fall harder. They take off their shoes and strip themselves of their outer robes, folding them neatly before placing them on the dresser. Jiang Cheng sets Sandu down near Shuoyue, and Lan Xichen puts Liebing on his rack. After all has been organized, they proceed to the nearby table to drink the previously-prepared tea and catch up on each other’s lives.
They’ve done these exact actions a countless number of times already, but Jiang Cheng never fails to flush at them. They feel strangely domestic, and his heart flutters at the thought of doing them for the rest of his life. He has imagined scenarios — a long day of attending to sect leader duties, an exciting night hunt, and many more — that all end in him and Lan Xichen going back to the same house and resting together.
He desperately wants those scenarios to become real.
— — —
They’re seated at the edge of the bed beside each other, getting ready to sleep after a peaceful afternoon, when Lan Xichen unties the ends of his forehead ribbon. It’s a normal action that Jiang Cheng doesn’t usually focus on, but his attention eventually shifts when he realizes that Lan Xichen has been staring at the ribbon for some time now. After a moment of seemingly having a silent conversation with it, he nods ever so slightly but resolutely.
“A-Cheng?” Lan Xichen says. His voice is low and almost a whisper, like he’s about to reveal something absolutely no one else but the two of them can hear. He’s gazing at Jiang Cheng with tenderness in his features and his lips in a gentle smile. From up close, the gold streaks of his eyes are much clearer, distinguishing them from the vast hazel brown.
Jiang Cheng finds himself completely enamored.
He replies with an equally quiet “Yes?”, gazing back with similar tenderness but pursing his lips together from nervousness. He doesn’t know why Lan Xichen is acting this way out of the blue, and it makes him fill his mind with various thoughts and questions.
I didn’t think it was possible for someone to be this fucking beautiful. Is it even allowed? But why is he looking at me like that? Is there something on my face? Why did he take off his forehead ribbon and stare at it? He doesn’t do that. He takes it off only when we have sex or go to sleep. During those times, he places it down properly and also doesn’t look at it much. Aside from those… Wait, is he about to give it to me? Is he going to propo—
He cuts himself off and mentally slaps himself before he can finish that one particular thought, his face heating at its boldness. They’ve been in a relationship for years now and even have rings, but those don’t necessarily mean that Lan Xichen wants to marry him. Marriage is a different level, after all, and it’s a serious topic, especially for them as sect leaders.
He couldn’t blame himself for thinking that way, though. He may have stayed with the Gusu Lan Sect for just a year before, but he vaguely remembers the meaning of their forehead ribbon. He knows they wear it as a sign of their discipline and to regulate themselves. That’s why it’s important to them. Furthermore, only family members and cultivation partners are permitted to touch it. Giving it to someone means you regard that person in that sense. He himself has never touched it despite a few close calls, afraid of what Lan Xichen’s reaction might be.
He doesn’t realize that he’s been thinking too deeply until a hand is on his cheek, gaining his attention. He withdraws himself from his mind to concentrate on Lan Xichen still gazing at him with the same soft expression, now with his right hand caressing Jiang Cheng’s face. When Lan Xichen notices that he has Jiang Cheng’s focus again, he starts to speak.
— — —
“A little more than two decades ago, when I first saw you at the head of Yunmeng Jiang’s delegation that was to study here in Cloud Recesses, I didn’t expect us to be in the relationship we’re in right now. Needless to say, during that time, I didn’t expect many things.” Lan Xichen sighs, his smile faltering.
Jiang Cheng brings his left hand to cover the one Lan Xichen has on his face, moving his thumb on it in soothing patterns. He may not know where this conversation is leading, but he knows what ‘things’ Lan Xichen was referring to. It’s still hard for them to talk about certain matters, Lan Xichen’s former sworn brothers being one of them, so he tries his best to give as much comfort as he can when the topic is mentioned.
Lan Xichen gives him a thankful smile and continues talking.
“When those events happened, I was devastated, to say the least. I felt like my world was crumbling little by little, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it from collapsing. The once peaceful life I envisioned myself to have was replaced with an unsure future. However, I have grown to be grateful for them, too. Why? Not only because they exposed those who were truly evil but also because they brought me to you, to a much more fulfilling life I never thought I could experience.”
“You taught me that it’s fine to grieve, but it’s never okay for that grief to consume me. You taught me to make peace with my regrets instead of fight them. You taught me that healing takes time and support from others. And most importantly, you taught me to chase my happiness.”
“Maybe the fact was unbeknownst to you before, but you were — and you still are — my happiness. I chased after you, and I was able to catch you. Now, I want to be able to stay by your side for eternity as well.”
Jiang Cheng’s pulse quickens, his eyes widening at the implication. His mind is telling him not to jump to conclusions and that this might just be one of the usual love confessions Lan Xichen is fond of giving.
His heart tells him otherwise.
“I love you so, so much, A-Cheng. You are my beloved, the light of my life, my strength. Each thought of you helps me get through my day, and each memory of you fills my heart with unbridled joy. I can’t picture spending the rest of my days with anyone else but you, and frankly, I don’t want to spend the rest of my days with anyone else but you.”
Jiang Cheng starts to tremble, the doubts in his mind from earlier rapidly disappearing. Lan Xichen probably notices it because in the next moment, he retracts his hand cupping Jiang Cheng’s face to hold the one Jiang Cheng had making relaxing patterns on his. He brings it to his lips and kisses each of the knuckles carefully. He does the same to Jiang Cheng’s right hand, saving the finger with the ring for last.
“I gave you this ring to symbolize our promise to be with one another. However, I want to give you a proper proposal, too.”
“I know our positions as sect leaders make it hard. But I sincerely want to marry you — to wake up to your gorgeous face every morning and fall asleep to it every night, to tend to our gardens together, to make love as much as we want, to have everyone know that you belong to me, as I to you. I have yearned for it for so long now.”
Jiang Cheng faintly registers the feeling of Lan Xichen tying his forehead ribbon on his right wrist. When he looks down, it’s already sitting there perfectly, the metal part resting gently in the middle. Even though the light blue cloth strongly contrasts his dark robes, it looks perfect, like it was made solely to be tied on him.
He looks back up to Lan Xichen, intent on saying something — anything — to calm the overwhelming emotions that are clawing their way out of his body. He wants to say that he’s been longing for the same thing, too, and he can’t believe Lan Xichen wants to marry him, and he loves him so fucking much, and—
“Will you allow me the honor to indulge in these desires of mine?”
All of a sudden, something breaks in Jiang Cheng, and he feels tears fall on the forehead ribbon on his wrist. Lan Xichen looks startled. The next second, he realises that, Oh, it’s my tears.
Another wave of emotions hits him, and he starts sobbing louder from the intensity. Through his bleary eyes, he can see Lan Xichen panicking. “A-Cheng, my love, what’s wrong?” He wipes the tears falling from Jiang Cheng’s eyes and peppers kisses to his face — forehead first, eyelids next, nose, cheeks, and finally, lips — until Jiang Cheng’s breath is relatively steadier.
“For a smart talker and one of the top cultivators, you can be pretty dumb sometimes, too, A-Huan.”
“What… Did I say something bad?”
“No, stupid. All of the things you said were good. Too good, actually, that they made me cry.”
“Oh... oh, A-Cheng.” Lan Xichen closes the small gap between them to pull Jiang Cheng in a tight embrace, and Jiang Cheng moves to nestle his face in Lan Xichen’s neck. Lan Xichen instantly makes room for him, aware that it’s the place Jiang Cheng likes snuggling into the most.
They hold each other for a long while, savoring one another’s presence. When they look back up, Jiang Cheng gives Lan Xichen a firm nod and a quiet “Yes”, his voice too hoarse to speak louder.
Lan Xichen’s smile is blinding, and he finds himself involuntarily smiling back. New tears fall from their eyes, and they move to clean each other’s faces, smiles growing bigger. It would surely be a silly sight to anyone else: two feared and respected sect leaders wiping each other’s faces with big, dorky grins while doing so. But he doesn’t have the will to care.
This isn’t a sight meant to be seen by anyone else. This is solely for the two of them — as Lan Huan and Jiang Cheng, not as Sect Leader Lan and Sect Leader Jiang, nor as Zewu-Jun and Sandu Shengshou — and only they will get the opportunity to witness more experiences like this for the rest of their lives. Together.
They fall asleep in each other’s embrace, exhilarating joy on their faces and unconditional love in their hearts.
— — —
Jiang Cheng awakes to Lan Xichen gazing at him with the same tender expression, just like he had the previous night. He feels a familiar softness bubble inside him, and he leans forward to press a kiss to Lan Xichen’s lips.
“I can’t believe we’re engaged, A-Huan,” he says. Lan Xichen chuckles and gives him an equally sweet kiss.
“Me neither, my love.”
“This is the best gift I’ve received in my life. I’d used to say it was the three dogs during my childhood, but now, I think it’s this. You, A-Huan.”
“Thank you, A-Cheng. You’re the best gift I’ve received in my life as well. And speaking of gifts…” Lan Xichen trails off, a glint in his eyes.
“Speaking of gifts…?”
“Am I allowed to say I’m in the lead for our gift-giving challenge?”
“Heavens, A-Huan, you still remember that? Psh. That’s only a petty bet, nothing more.”
“Mn, I do still remember it. My, my, I think you’re just feigning ignorance because you don’t want to admit that you’re losing, my love.”
“Excuse me? I’m not,” Jiang Cheng confidently says, but he mutters a curse under his breath, starting to rack his brain for better things he can give to win — if there are any better things than this. He doesn’t realize that Lan Xichen heard his mumbling until he feels the hands encircling his waist caress the rest of his body.
“I think I know exactly what you can give, my A-Cheng,” Lan Xichen whispers, his voice dropping. He nips at Jiang Cheng’s neck all the way to his jaw. When he reaches Jiang Cheng’s lips, he kisses him fervently, clearly different from their innocent kisses earlier. Jiang Cheng involuntary moans.
The result of that is instantaneous. Jiang Cheng pulls back with a scandalized expression, his face heating up from the sound he made. He might have made worse and louder ones during past times, but it’s 5 am for fuck’s sake! Everyone is already awake, and Lan Xichen is the sect leader. They can’t afford to be heard, and Lan Xichen shouldn’t be late to any of his schedules either.
Lan Xichen doesn’t seem to share the same worries, giving him a smug smile and diving back into his neck to bite and suck at the skin there.
“You’re insatiable! Stop it, Lan Xichen! It’s 5 am, and people will hear us! You also have - ah! - to prepare for - mmm - work…”
“Hm, don’t worry, my love. I can easily place silencing talismans. Plus, I told the disciples to give my tasks for today to Wangji because I have much more important work to do. Wangji agreed to take over them for me.”
“Uh huh. And what would that ‘important work’ be, A-Huan?” Jiang Cheng adds a teasing tilt to his voice, making it clear that he’s on board with Lan Xichen’s plans and only wants to taunt back. He bites his lips in anticipation. He has an idea of Lan Xichen’s answer, but he wants to hear it from him.
“Spending the day with my future husband, of course.”
Jiang Cheng’s heart threatens to burst at the words. Future husband. He never thought that he’d be able to marry someone, much less someone he’s in a loving and healthy relationship with. He thought he’d have to marry just to ally sects or produce an heir. But boy was he wrong.
Looking into the eyes of his future husband (future husband!) another emotion wells up inside him — contentment. The months of wanting Lan Xichen, days of imagining them being together, nights of longing to sleep beside him, and countless hours of worrying if he’s good enough are all finally getting their happy endings, as he is.
— — —
This moment of tranquility is probably the last one they’re going to get before the meetings with their respective sects’ elders and wedding preparations stress them out, but Jiang Cheng is somehow still excited. It’s worth it, he tells himself.
For Lan Xichen, everything is worth it.