Work Text:
'Spock to Captain's quarters.' the message was heard through the whole ship, near the end of the Alpha Shift. This was after quite the eventful couple of days, and only for the last few hours did things started to slowly go back to normal.
When Spock entered the room that he had been summoned to, Kirk was pacing back and forth, his hands intertwined at his back. The lights were dimmed, as usual at this time, to imitate Earth’s evening.
'What's the reason for your call, Captain? I think I have explained myself sufficiently after the court trial.' the Vulcan began.
'What were you thinking? Couldn't you just tell me, talk to me?' the Captain didn't even look at his First Officer, continuing his nervous motion. 'There must have been a possibility to reach your goal that wouldn't involve you rebelling against me and stealing the Enterprise!'
'I have told you already: this could have endangered your career and life.' Spock repeated his previous words.
At the sound of this answer, Kirk suddenly stopped and turned his head sharply towards Spock. Their eyes met for the first time since the begging of this conversation, and there was anger to be seen in Jim's.
'So you chose to risk yours instead?' Captain's voice remained professional and calm, although his behaviour indicated otherwise.
'My plan was entirely logical and thought through. There was, in fact, no considerable risk.'
'Wasn't there, Mr Spock?' Kirk eventually lost control and snapped. 'What if something had happened, what if it hadn't gone entirely according to your perfectly logical plan?' now there was even a bit of sarcasm in his tone.
'But it did not, sir. Therefore, I do not see a point to dwell on the events any longer.' Spock's stoic as always voice contrasted with the Captain's.
Kirk took one step closer, briefly looking at his shoes as he did so, and then raised his gaze back to the First Officer's face. The fury in his eyes seemed to have eased a little, and something else took its place. Something like worry.
'Spock, do you understand that even if everything did go as you had planned, but they hadn't lifted the ban on contact to Talos IV, you still would've been killed?' he asked, now more calmly, softly even, one would say.
'Affirmative' Spock replied, perhaps just a little less instantly than he normally does.
Kirk's expression was now the void of anger, and he began to speak again, after taking a somewhat deep, but rather quick and sharp breath.
'And that I would have been the one to-' his voice broke. He couldn't bring himself to finish the question.
There was a moment of silence. Long enough to deduce that Spock was carefully weighing his next words.
'I know, Jim.' he finally answered, quietly.
Kirk placed his hands on Spock's shoulders, like he often does, and squeezed them gently. To his surprise, Spock noticed tears in Captain's eyes.
'I'm sorry.' he added.
One tear rolled down on Kirk's face, despite his desperate efforts to fight it. Spock had never seen him cry before. This sight made him feel the need to do something probably completely contradictory to his nature, at least the Vulcan part. He slowly, reluctantly put his right hand on Jim's hand, which was still laying on his shoulder.
'Jim, I'm here. Everything is alright now.'
