Chapter Text
From the young age of 11, Arthur knew he was different from all the other boys that he was rarely allowed to associate with. He couldn't put an exact reason on how he knew, he just had this feeling whenever he was around them that he didn't fit in. All of the boys his age would sit and gossip about which Girls in the Castle each individual fancied and if they would court them when they became of-age. Arthur however, felt extremely out of place because he never found the Girls attractive like they did. Sure, they were beautiful and Kind, but he was never romantically attracted to them.
A year later, and his suspicions that he was different only grew more obvious, especially when the boys he would hang out with started doing little things like picking a Girl flowers. Arthur could never see himself picking flowers for a Girl, though he was the Prince, he wasn't allowed to do such things. Morgana would often tease him about it and he would only smile sadly in response but this feeling was in the back of his mind 27/7, it plagued his dreams, he found himself pondering what it could be rather than doing his duties.
It wasn't until his Sixteenth Birthday did these feelings finally make sense. When his Father recruited a new Knight, Leon, Arthur found himself inexplicably attracted to the man in a way he had never before. Leon was just a young trainee at the time, only a few years older than the Prince himself with soft hazel eyes, very light-almost ginger hair that curled gracefully atop his head and around his ears with a light dusting of freckles over the bridge of his nose. Arthur had a sudden but overwhelming urge to reach out and touch him in a way that was inappropriate for royalty and when the man turned in his direction and smiled at him, Arthur felt this weird warm feeling in his gut that he had never felt before.
Over time, Arthur found himself spending an inappropriate amount of time with the Knight and he knew if his father found out, he would be in a lot of trouble but he couldn't bring himself to care. The two quickly became good friends and spent as much time as they could in each other's presence, they had even shared their first kiss together. As far as First kisses go, theirs was at the lower end of the scale, it was sloppy and mostly just tongue and teeth behind the stables at night time, but it meant something to him. They never got a chance to pursue anything more because Leon soon left his position as Knight and left the Castle barely a day later. Arthur knew it was because he was uncomfortable being around the Prince after the moment they shared and he pretended he didn't care, but it hurt in a way he hoped never to feel again.
***
After that day, things started to piece together. He thought back to when he was a little boy and he sat with the boys while they watched the Girls and he realised the reason was because he wasn't attracted to them, he was attracted to the other gender. The realisation didn't effect him as much as it should have, it was like he always knew in the back of his mind he was attracted to men but the make out session with Leon put things in place. He realised he needed to talk to someone about the new information he obtained and he knew the only Person he could talk freely about these things were with Morgana.
Surprisingly, Morgana didn't laugh at him or tease him like he had expected, instead she was serious in a sickeningly sweet way. She started off by assuring him that being attracted to the same gender was perfectly normal and she emphasised that point by telling him of a fling she had with a girl before she came to Camelot. Arthur wasn't surprised but he still made a big deal out of it for her sake, though the conversation was about him. Then she asked him the question he was dreading.
"Are you going to tell Uther?"
Arthur sucked in a breath and looked at her with something akin to pleading eyes. He had briefly thought about telling his Father but quickly dismissed the thought, he already knew what his Father would do when he found out his only son was attracted to the same gender. Multiple scenarios flashed in his mind and each one ended with his Father being disappointing or him being disowned entirely.
"I cant, 'Gana. You know he wants me to produce an heir, i can't do that with a man" Arthur sighed, he would just have to find a way to put his feelings aside and find a good women to court.
Morgana too, sighed, and reached out to clasp Arthur's hand in her own. "Arthur, you need to tell him. You're coming up to the age where you will be expected to start finding suitable Women to eventually Marry. I know you and i know you won't be able to keep your feelings for men aside. It doesn't have to be today but someday, you have to tell him."
Turns out, Morgana was right, soon after his Seventeenth Birthday his father started expressing interest in bringing Women in from other Kingdoms. Arthur was against it at First, but Uther insisted and not even a week later there were half a dozen suitable women lining up to meet him. He was surprised to find the Princesses were very beautiful and interesting to talk to, but he just didn't have it in him to pretend to be interested. They seemed to notice this too and expressed little interest in him in return until their parents admitted defeat and the Princesses went home.
It was then did Arthur realise he needed to talk to his Father, damn the consequences. He managed to muster up the courage one day and before he could talk himself out of it, he made his way to the great hall where his Father was in a council meeting. His heart was pounding in his chest and his legs were so shaky he only just managed to get himself there at all. His Father wasn't too pleased to be interrupted during a meeting but after Arthur said it was urgent, Uther sighed and ordered everyone to leave immediately.
"I do hope this is worth interrupting my meeting, Arthur" Uther glared at him but gestured for him to sit.
Arthur swallowed thickly and sat down in the chair, wringing his hands together under the table as he tried to get past the dryness in his throat and say what he needed to say. "Father, i need to talk to you about the Princesses"
Uther seemed to light up, apparently not sensing his sons obvious nervousness. "Did you find one you liked? I will invite them back here immediately"
"no!" Arthur cut in, ignoring the way his Father deflated. "I do not wish to take a wife"
"I'm afraid i do not understand"
Arthur squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed thickly, trust his Father to make him spell the words out for him. When he opened his eyes, Uther was looking back at him with such confusion it almost made him forget the whole conversation and try again another time, almost.
"Father, i do not wish to marry a wife. I wish to marry a man, i am attracted to men"
The room was eerily silent for a few moments and Arthur completely expected his Father to start screaming about how much of a disappointment he was, he even prepared himself for physical abuse, what he didn't expect was for his father to clap him on the back. He looked at his Father with a confused expression, especially when he saw he was smiling.
"This is fantastic!" Uther beamed.
"It is?" Arthur asked
"yes" Uther sighed. "This is Perfect, when the other Kingdoms learn Camelot has a homosexual Prince, we are surely to get some great Ally's"
Arthur felt a lump in his throat. For a second there, he had really believe his Father was okay with him being Gay out of human decency and love. Of course, Uther only cared about the Kingdom, that was how it had always been. Always about the Kingdom, never about Arthur.
***
It wasn't until his eighteenth Birthday did things take a turn for the worst. Arthur was summoned into his Father's chambers early one Afternoon just after lunch. He didn't know what his Father wanted with him, but he was never allowed in the King's chambers so it must have been important. Arthur immediately made his way to the King's chambers, completely prepared to be informed of another magical attack on the Kingdom. What he didn't expect was his Father sitting at his table, flicking through what appeared to be a peace treaty or something along those lines as he absent mindedly ate lunch. Upon his entry, Uther put the letter aside and gestured for Arthur to sit before him.
"Father, what is this about?" Arthur furrowed his eyebrows, partly in confusion and partly in concern.
"in a few days, we will be entertaining some very important guests from the Kingdom of Draco. After finding out about your...preferences, i took the liberty to invite King Ballinor and Queen Hunith, as well as their son, to Camelot in hopes you will bond with him and take him as your consort"
Arthur's mouth snapped open and he looked at his Father as if he had grown two heads. Sure, his Father had expressed interest in wanting him to Marry and he had heard about Princes and Princesses getting married as young as 15, but now that it was happening to him, it was different. He was only young, he still had yet to be in a tournament, there was no way he could commit to Marriage.
"Father, i don't wish to Marry right now. And even if i did, i want to Marry for love not because it's good for the Kingdom" Arthur tried to argue, but it was clear the decision was already made for him and there was no room for discussion on the matter. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, trying to grasp the concept that he would be married before the year ended.
"you are aware Draco is a Magical Kingdom, The person i'm suppose to Marry will have magic"
Uther seemed to internally wince, but it was clear he had already thought of that. "While i have had certain...opinions on Magic in the past. Having a sorcerer as the Prince's Consort will be sure to make great Ally's, especially with the Druids"
"Do i at least get to know who My Husband-to-be's name is?" Arthur asked. Uther seemed satisfied with his Sons co-operation, though reluctant, and nodded.
"Merlin"