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Have you truly replaced us, Jane?
Jane quietly gasped, body growing tense. That voice, her dread was growing with every breath she takes, she knows the owner of that voice.
Anne, sensing her cousin's distress, slowly pulled away from their hug. "Is something wrong, Jane?" She asked, cupping Jane's cheek and caressing it softly.
The third queen shook her head no, and gave her cousin a forced smile, saying, "I'm fine, but I think I should go. I wanna spend some time with Lina." She lied, a gut-wrenching pain twisting in her stomach. That is not what mother taught you, Jane.
Anne pouted, "really? Your girlfriend over your cousin? I'm wounded, Jane! Wounded!" Anne cried out dramatically, bringing her hand to her head for effect. "I still don't know what you see in her, if I'm being honest." She scoffed in disgust.
Jane chuckled and kissed her cousin's cheek, "don't be like that, Annie. She's really nice." She said, now standing up and walking towards the door.
"Yeah, yeah, you're gay for her. I don't care, as long as she treats you right." Jane could feel Anne wave her hand dismissively, and she smiled, now leaving the room.
Wasn't that Elizabeth's mother, Jane?
Another familiar voice. Jane could feel the temperature of the room get colder.
Where is Elizabeth, Jane? The only Elizabeth I see is our sister.
Turning around, she saw him, her brother, Thomas. A pale, almost transparent ghost, smirking as his pure white eyes bore into her silver ones. He took a step closer, Jane took a step back, and his hollow voice echoed throughout the hallways. Why is he here? No… no, he's dead.
Where is my wife, Jane? I miss her. Where is she?
Jane's breath hitched, he's not real, she told herself. He's dead. He's dead. He's dead. He should be dead.
Are you not believing what you're seeing, Jane? Was Elizabeth right? Did you finally replace us with those whores?
That managed to make Jane snap. The rage she buried inside her clawed its way out of its cage, and without realizing, she growled out, "they're far from that and you know it." Glaring at her brother, "they're better. Better than all of you combined." She turned once again, reaching for the doorknob on Anne's door.
Are you sure about that? Don't you think you've disturbed her enough?
Jane froze. She turned to her side and saw one of her brothers, John , standing a few feet away from her. Gritting her teeth, she let out, "you're wrong. Anne doesn't mind. She said I could come to her."
How much of it is genuine, Jane? You know her tendency to lie and joke around, right?
Before she could turn the knob, Jane's body went stiff. Heart pounding loudly against her chest, almost as if it wants to break free from its confines. He's wrong, she tried to reassure herself, Anne loves me, right? She wouldn't mind, but was John telling the truth? Was Anne getting annoyed?
See? You will just end up ruining everything. Just like back then. I wonder what father would say once he sees you now.
Her eyes widen at the thought. Their father never truly liked her, not until she became queen, and even then Jane could still feel an air of disappointment whenever she stared right into her father's eyes. Shivering at the sudden change of atmosphere, she shakily let out a weak "shut up," before taking a few steps away from Anne's door. "Shut up," she said once again, weaker than the one before, then she started walking towards her own room.
Her brothers didn't respond, but she heard the echoing of their laughter as she walked further down the hall.
They're not real, she said to herself, yet her breathing was turning ragged, they're not here. They're not real. Father isn't here. Jane took in a deep breath, then exhaled, yet her body stayed tense. Father isn't here, she repeated over and over again, he's dead. He's dead along with them.
If he's dead along with us, then why are you still breathing?
Gasping, she looked up, and was faced with the crooked smirks of three more of her siblings.
He never truly liked it when you used that tone, Jane.
Dorothy, Henry, and Anthony all stood a few feet away from her door. They were looming over her, barricading almost all of her exits, all except her bedroom door.
Do hide now, sister. Lest father finds you again.
Jane let out the most pathetic whimper she ever mustered, and quickly opened the door to her room, dashed in, and accidentally slammed her door shut. Pressing her back against the door, her breathing quickened. She heard a series of "what's going on?" and "Jane? Was that you?" Coming from the outside, and she scolded herself for slamming the door shut so hard.
Trying to steady her breathing, Jane could still feel the coldness of the room. It sent shivers down her spine, hackles raised in fear and anxiety. A knock from the outside made her jump, and the sound of Kat's concerned voice reverberated against the walls.
"Jane? Are you alright?"
Her cousin called out, voice soft, yet to Jane it feels like it's echoing inside her head. "Yeah!" She stuttered out, voice just a pitch higher than normal. She quietly cursed. Pushing herself from the door, she turned and faced it, "I'm fine! Don't worry!" She said with a small waver, and immediately she covered her mouth as a sob escaped her lips.
"Are you sure? You don't sound fine." Katherine called once again, and Jane saw the knob move slightly.
Without wasting any more time, Jane rushed and locked the door.
"Jane?"
"I'm fine!" Jane managed through tears.
"If you were fine you'd open the door."
Having fed up, she spoke loudly, "I have my own privacy, Katherine. Please respect it!"
Immediately after the said that, guilt heavily resided within her chest. Oh no, what have I done?
"There's clearly something wrong with you! Please, don't push me away, Jane!" Kat pleaded, her desperation was dripping in her voice.
"Leave me alone!" The third queen yelled out, clutching her head in pain. It's too loud, she was hunched over, digging her nails on to her scalp. It's too loud.
See? You're just ruining everything as usual, Jane.
"Jane, please! Let me in! Let me help you!" Kat pleaded once again, knocking on the door.
Jane gritted her teeth, and in her rage, threw her phone to the door, breaking the phone in the process. She yelled out, "leave me alone!" Followed by a choked sob.
"Jane!"
"Just leave me alone, Katherine!" You're pushing them away. "Shut up! Shut up! I don't need you! Just shut up!" Are you telling that to me, Jane? Or are you telling that to Katherine? Gasping, Jane began trembling. Her eyes widened at the realization, and it didn't take a second more to realize Katherine became quiet on the other side. Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no, no no no no no no!
"Katherine?" She softly called out, hand reaching towards the door. "Katherine, I'm sorry!" Yet she was met with silence.
Look what you did, Jane.
Her sister laughed at her. Turning her head, she saw Margery sitting on the edge of her bed, a wide smirk on her face.
I doubt Anne would approve of that behaviour.
Before Jane could react further, her sister vanished.
"You bitch!" The third queen yelled, eyes wild and manic, clenching her bed sheets and almost ripping them off from the mattress. Breathing heavy and ragged, her fist shook with every breath, her teeth were bared. "What am I doing?" She asked helplessly, "they're not real. Why am I doing this?" She said, defeated. Her tears fell from her eyes, staining the sheets. "This is ridiculous. I'm losing my mind." Whispering to herself, her body shook with each shaky breath, "I need to breathe," unclenching her fists from the sheets, she slowly stood up. "I need to relax," she murmured, slowly walking to her vanity. "I'm just seeing things."
Clenching and unclenching her fists, she breathed in slowly, "I'm just seeing things. My siblings are dead. They're dead. Along with father." A small reassurance, yet it still wasn't enough to calm her.
Once she was at her vanity, she noticed the blade she used to engrave the scars she has was still there. Light glinting, a shine so tempting that Jane almost grabbed it. No, she scolded herself, don't.
She sighed, gripping the edge of the table tightly. I'm just seeing things, that's all… but it felt so real. Sucking in a breath, she raised her head to look at her mirror, and instead of seeing her reflection, she saw the cold glare of her father.
Jane stood frozen, her eyes wide in fear. No, she broke out to a sob, he's not real!
And you believe that? Pathetic.
He's not real!
You have always been such a disappointment to me, Jane.
He's dead!
A pathetic excuse for a queen.
He's wrong!
A pathetic excuse for a mother.
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
And a pathetic excuse for a daughter.
"Shut up!" The third queen roared, fist raised and collided with the glass, the impact shattering it immediately. Shards of glass flew from her vanity, some fell to her desk, others fell to the floor. She let out a loud blood curdling scream as she fell on her knees. Clutching her head, she yelled, "shut up!" Her once quiet and timid voice became thunderous and was loud enough to be heard outside, alarming the other residents of the house.
That is not an acceptable behaviour, Jane. You know what happens when you go against me, child.
Clutching her wrist, her bloodied hand was shaking, some of the shards had cut the skin. "Shut up," she repeated, low and threatening. Her gaze was at the floor, eyeing the shards carefully.
My child—
"I am not your child—"
Why do you resent your father so much?
Jane barked out a laugh, crazed and unhinged, "resent?" She spat out, "resent wouldn't even cut it!" She laughed out, raising her bloody hand. "Get it?! Cut it!" She laughed and laughed, doubling over as she smiled, a demented feel to it. "Resent isn't even half of it. I loathe you, father. I hated you. I still do. I despise you and my siblings. You lied to me. You said you love me but you didn't. You said it wouldn't hurt, but it did. I tried my best to please you, I became queen, my cousin died for that to happen, and still it wasn't enough for you." She sobbed, yet her smile, as twisted as it was, was still on her face. "You lied to me."
And all her memories came flashing back, almost stabbing her with the pain they carry. All so vividly, she remembers being locked up in her chambers, deprived of food and water. The time her brothers led her to the woods and went separate ways, almost losing her way home, and still she was the one to blame. The times her sisters looked down on her, saying she was a disgrace. The times she was disciplined and was met by the end of her father's cane. All of it fueled her rage even more; once a candle, flames small and warm, was left behind without supervision and now that candle burned the house. Flames spreading across the wood, the grass, towards the other houses, everything was burning.
Her hate was burning. The warmth of Anne's hug left her body, the softness of Aragon's kiss left her lips, and the thought of Katherine laughing joyously with her left her mind. All that's left was her hate, her spite, her grief, all her sadness, her heartache, her regrets. And she blamed her father and Henry for all of it.
Henry.
How did she even love that monster? He ruined so many lives. Killed off countless people just because he can. Married a child. Why did she even love him? For all Jane knows he only wanted a son, her son. Oh, her poor Edward. What has Henry taught him? What did her brothers do to her son? Did they even mention her? Did Henry even love him? Did he even love her ? How did she fall in love with someone with a hole in the middle of his chest?
I could ask you the same thing, my love.
Without thinking, she quickly grabbed a large shard of glass, turned, and threw it right through the ghost of Henry looming behind her.
Were you not the reason Anne Boleyn died?
The glass shattered, and more shards fell onto the floor.
Were you not guilty of it?
Her bruised and bloodied hand trembled, her breathing was erratic.
Of course you're not.
He's wrong.
She died because of you.
Anne died because of him. It wasn't my fault. Anne said it wasn't!
You're just as a monster as I am, my beloved. So why don't I get a place in your body? In your heart?
A… monster? I… I'm not a monster!
Oh, but you are! You and I, we are the same, Jane.
No. No we're not!
So why don't I have a place in your body?
What about me, Jane?
Don't you have a place for your sister, Jane?
It's true then, you have replaced us.
Too loud, she sobbed, clutching her head, falling once again to her knees. It's too loud!
Have you no love for your favourite brother, Jane?
I helped you when no one else has, Jane.
Jane, do you truly hate us that much?
Do not go against my wishes, child.
It's too damn loud! Picking up a shard, her reflection shone in the mirror, and she saw how lifeless her silver eyes have become.
She could feel them, looming over her, blocking her sight of her room, they were yelling, sneering, laughing at her.
It's too loud! Shut up! Be quiet, please!
What? You don't have the nerve to mark your body anymore?
Oh, maybe it's because of us!
That's right! You have truly forgotten about your real family!
I didn't!
Mark your body, Jane!
Let them know about us, too.
Don't be selfish now.
What would mother say?
Let us be one again, my love.
Stop! She pleaded, tears pooling down her face. Please stop it!
Jane took in a sharp breath, and everything was quiet. Too quiet. She looked up, and saw none of them anymore, but gasped when she saw a young boy standing from where Henry once was.
Edward.
She reached out, her bruised hand trying so hard to reach him, it shook and twitched, and she cried out, "my boy! Edward!"
Mother…
He stared at her, his eyes weren't pure white like theirs, and those bright grey hues held so much grief and betrayal in them.
Oh, my boy. What have they done to you?
I was so lonely, mother.
"I'm so sorry, my son," Jane croaked out, "I'm so sorry."
Why weren't you there?
Gasping for breath, Jane tried reaching out again, "I'm sorry."
Edward faced the side, breaking eye contact with Jane, and with the most broken voice the third queen heard, he spoke, why did you leave me?
In a puff of smoke, he vanished, and she was once again surrounded by Henry, her father, and her siblings.
Jane!
There's someone knocking on the door
Mark your body, sister!
Someone's calling me
Let them know about us, why we are better than you will ever be!
Anne? Katherine?
Let me be with you again, my love!
Catalina!
Jane screamed, and yelled, and thrashed. Digging the shard on her shoulder, skin opening with every rip of the cloth, staining her clothes blood red. Hissing with pain, she did the same with her other arm. Started from the shoulder, dragging it down the forearm, and stopping just a few inches below her elbow. Blood was pooling down her arms, smudging it along the floor. Droplets of red stained the stray shards, she hissed in pain as she did the act three more times on each arm.
Isn't this enough?!
She glided the shard along her wrist, are you satisfied?! You've got your mark now!
Bringing the shard in between her collarbone, the glass pierced her skin, and she dragged it down, ripping the upper half of her clothes in the process. Blood dripped down from her chest as she breathed heavily. She finally dropped the shard, all bloody and chipped, and she sobbed.
Very good, Jane.
Tell them about our stories too, sister!
Now we are all equals!
Now take this as a lesson, my child.
She heard a familiar chuckle, deep and maniacal. It echoed along the room, and she covered her ears to block it, yet it wasn't enough. She could still hear him.
You truly are just bound to obey and serve.
No. No. No no no no no! No, I'm more than that! I'm… I'm more than that…! I'm… I'm truly pathetic.
"Jane!"
She winced at the sound, a loud bang followed the scream. Who's that? Is that...?
"Jane, holy shit!"
Someone's holding me. Is it father?
"Oh, little Dove, what have you done?"
No… father never cared about me.
"Katherine! Bring me the first aid kit! Hurry!"
"Mother?" Jane weakly said, removing her trembling hands from her ears, as she looked up to the woman in front of her.
"Janey, please stay with me now!" The woman pleaded, holding her by the waist, almost careful not to touch the blood. The woman helped her stand, and guided her away from the broken shards. "Come on, Dove." She softly whispered.
"Mother, I'm sorry," Jane said, tears once again falling from her eyes, "I'm so sorry!"
The woman shook her head, bringing Jane close to her, "none of that, Dove," she whispered so sweetly. "It's alright, I'm here now. I won't leave you again."
"I'm so sorry, mother!" Jane sobbed, clinging to the woman. The third queen could feel the woman cringe as she pressed herself deeper in her chest.
"Why did you do it, darling?"
Jane sniffled, "I just want them to leave me alone, mother."
"Who, my love?"
"All of them!" She yelled out, then bit her lip, I shouldn't talk like that, so with less intensity than the one before, she spoke, "my brothers, and sisters, and father! Father lied to me, mother! Please believe me!" She sobbed once again, balling the woman's clothes in her fists.
The woman nodded, "I believe you, darling. Your father isn't here anymore, I promise you." She said, now gingerly stroking Jane's hair.
"Henry, too! I don't want him! I never wanted him! Mother, please I don't want to be near him anymore!" Jane could feel the woman freeze, her body stiff as her movement from her hair ceased.
"Henry?"
Jane could only sob more, her tears stained the woman's clothes, "I don't want him. He almost—"
"Hey, I'm here! What— the fuck?!"
The third queen looked up from where she settled in the woman's hold, and instead of seeing a teenager with pink hair, she saw none other than Henry Tudor himself.
Breaking free from the woman's hold, Jane held her neck. "No," she quietly said, "no, please!"
"What happened?!"
"Katherine, calm down!"
"Calm down? You want me to calm down?! Look at her! She's covered in blood, Anne!"
Jane whimpered, she never did like fighting. It's my fault. She told herself. It's my fault. It's always my fault. "I'm sorry," she whispered once again, "I'm sorry, please no more! I'll keep my mouth shut now, please don't hurt me! I already have a place for you! Please, have mercy!"
"What is she talking about?"
"Jane," the woman approached her once again, "my little Dove, please calm down. Breathe for me, please." The woman softly held Jane's arm, but it made her panic even more.
"No!" She thrashed, "no, please! I want to keep my head! I promise I won't disobey you again! Please, don't hurt me! Please!"
"What…?"
Jane's erratic breathing worsened, she was hyperventilating, and everything was so overwhelming. The fresh wounds on her arms and on her chest seems nothing now, she can't feel them anymore. Her bruised hand only trembled, yet the pain she did not feel. Taking deep breaths doesn't seem to have any effect anymore, and soon black clouded her visions. The final thing Jane heard before losing consciousness was the desperate call of her name.
"Jane!"