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“I’m sorry.” Jiang Cheng whispered, tears slipping down his cheeks as he bowed in the Ancestry Hall. “I’m sorry I failed you. All of you.”

He’d failed his mother, his father, his Jiejie, even-

Jiang Cheng’s hands tightened to fists as he thought of that infernal flute that he hadn’t had the courage to destroy. 

He knew, deep down, he could never destroy it. He was far too weak, too much a coward. He was still holding onto hope even though he knew he was going to be disappointed in the end. 

These days, ever since the battle at the Nightless City, Jiang Cheng sometimes wondered why he even decided to go on. There were other disciples, far more brave and intelligent than he, that he trusted to lead Lotus Pier instead. Just because he was the heir of the Jiang Sect didn’t mean that he was the best choice. His own father had shared that same sentiment, only he wasn’t as bold as his mother to ever voice those thoughts aloud. 

Jiang Cheng got the message anyway. 

He slowly got up from his position on the ground and wiped at his eyes, trying to school his features into something harder and more impassive. He knew it was futile, his disciples weren’t blind, they’d be able to see the redness of his eyes and his tear-stained cheeks, but he at least had to t ry to put on a brave front for his people. 

He walked out of the hall and towards his private quarters only to be greeted by the shrill sound of a baby crying. 

A-Ling was the one reason that he ultimately decided to go on. His nephew was the only family he had left. The only thing worth living for.

“Shhh.” Jiang Cheng tried to make his voice as soothing as possible as he cradled his nephew in his arms. “I’m sorry I failed you too.” He whispered as Jin Ling’s cries began to subside. “It should’ve been me who died that night, not your mother.”

Jin Ling’s chubby hands came up to tug at Jiang Cheng’s robes, with a grip so tight that even Jiang Cheng struggled to loosen it. Every time he even attempted to do so, Jin Ling would just grab on again with another hand, yawning and babbling the entire time. 

“You’re so stubborn A-Ling.” Jiang Cheng whispered, finally acquiescing and letting Jin Ling have his way. Not bothering to change out of his robes, he laid down on his bed, hugging his nephew to his chest. Jin Ling squirmed around, kicking his tiny feet against Jiang Cheng’s stomach until he was finally comfortable. He was fast asleep in minutes, bits of drool dripping onto Jiang Cheng’s uniform as his nephew began to snore. 

Jiang Cheng felt the barest hints of a smile creep upon his face, but it was bittersweet. A few tears escaped his eyes, but this time, simply wiping them away wasn’t enough to stop them. They just kept coming and coming. So Jiang Cheng silently sobbed into the night, covering his mouth with one hand to make sure that his baby nephew didn’t hear him, wake up, and start crying as well. 

He eventually ran out of tears and fell into a fitful sleep, his nephew’s faint snores lulling him into unconsciousness. 

However, in his bout of fatigue, Jiang Cheng failed to notice the glowing purple light that began to emit around his room. 

~

“A-Cheng, dear. You have to wake up now.” 

Jiang Cheng immediately roused to the sound of his husband’s voice. He gave Lan Xichen a sleepy kiss on the forehead and then buried his face in the pillow again. 

Lan Xichen chuckled but continued to try and shake Jiang Cheng awake. “If you don’t wake up now, you’ll be late for your hunt with the juniors.” 

Lan Xichen was right, of course, but that didn’t stop Jiang Cheng from complaining as he was forced to get out of bed and prepare for the day. His husband sat on the bed and watched him blunder through his morning routine, looking thoroughly amused. 

“Are you sure you can’t want to come with us?” Jiang Cheng asked for the umpteenth time during his stay in Gusu. 

Lan Xichen sighed, “If I postpone this meeting one more time, the elders will have my head.”

“I’d defend you.” Jiang Cheng felt his face break out into a smile as Lan Xichen laughed. His laughter was brighter than the sun and Jiang Cheng couldn’t not smile at the angelic sound.

“I know you would.” Lan Xichen cupped Jiang Cheng’s face into his palm. Jiang Cheng sighed and leaned into his husband’s warmth.

 To this day, he still hadn’t known how he’d gotten this lucky. What had he done so right in the Universe to deserve someone as precious as his Lan Huan? It didn’t make any sense to him, and it probably never would, but as Jiang Cheng leaned in to give his husband one last gentle kiss before leaving, he realized that at this point it didn’t really matter. 

He was finally happy, and whether he deserved it or not wasn’t up for him to decide. Lan Xichen had helped him realize that a long time ago. 

The juniors and Hanguang-jun greeted him as soon as he arrived at the entrance of the Recesses.

“Jiujiu what took you so long?” Jin Ling complained, pouting at his uncle.. 

“A-Ling.” Lan Sizhui admonished, but his tone was fond as he looked at his friend. 

“Yeah, just because you don’t have a love life to speak of doesn’t mean that others don’t.” Lan Jingyi added, attempting, and failing, to lower his voice as he spoke to Jin Ling.

Lan Wangji looked like he wanted to admonish Lan Jingyi, but Jiang Cheng sent him a look that read “No need .”

“Stop talking about my Jiujiu’s love life.” Jin Ling hissed, as the group began to make their way out of the Recesses. “And what are you even implying? You’re single too!”

The juniors began to walk ahead, Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi bickering all the while Lan Sizhui tried to keep their arguments from escalating. Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji strolled behind, watching them interact with each other in silent amusement. 

“Remember when that was us?” Jiang Cheng asked, shaking his head as he remembered his days spent in the Cloud Recesses lectures as a teenager. They’d all been so young and free back then. 

So oblivious to all of the pain and suffering that would follow in the years close after.

“That was you, Wei Ying and Sect Leader Nie.” Lan Wangji amended. “Not me.”

“Yes, that’s right. You were far too righteous to spend time with the likes of us.” Jiang Cheng’s tone was teasing.

“Mn.” Lan Wangji agreed. “But I wanted to.” He admitted after a beat.

Jiang Cheng grinned at that. It had taken him and Lan Wangji a very long time to become civil with one another, much less acquaintances and now even friends.  But their worlds were far too intertwined for their rivalry to have remained a viable option for either of them anymore. They’d grown up, communicated with one another, forgiven each other, and realized that they’d had more in common than they’d initially thought. 

At this point in time, Jiang Cheng could’ve safely called Lan Wangji one of his closest friends, for reasons that stemmed far beyond their familial connections. 

“We’re here!” Jin Ling announced once they arrived at the last sight the creature they were after had been spotted at. He turned to Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji, “Jiujiu, Hanguang-jun, you two can wait here while A-Yuan, A-Yi, and I go after the monster.” Jin Ling’s words made it seem like a suggestion, but Jiang Cheng knew his tone well enough to understand it was a demand. He fought back an eye-roll; his nephew had always been rather stubborn.

“Be careful.” Jiang Cheng said, “And don’t forget-”

“Don’t forget to strike it in the neck. I know Jiujiu!” Jin Ling whined. 

“Okay, you brat.” This time Jiang Cheng did roll his eyes. “And also remember to-”

“To make sure to avoid the talons because they’re poisonous?” Jin Ling groaned, running a hand over his face in exhaustion. Lan Sizhui watched the entire interaction with thinly veiled amusement, while Lan Jingyi didn’t even try to hide his snickering.

Jiang Cheng huffed and opened his mouth to pester Jin Ling once more but Lan Wangji gave him a look. They’ll be fine . 

“Best of luck.” Lan Wangji said. The juniors thanked them and then headed off in search of the monster. Jiang Cheng leaned against a tree, unable to keep his thoughts from spiraling. He had no idea why he was so anxious. In the past, he’d sent Jin Ling on hunts in the dead of night, alone , chasing after creatures far more dangerous than this.

But something about this particular hunt had felt odd. Jiang Cheng couldn’t place a finger on it, but he’d felt strange as soon as he’d arrived in the forest. 

“You’re anxious.” Lan Wangji noted, taking in Jiang Cheng’s distressed demeanor. 

“I’m fine, Lan Wangji.” Jiang Cheng tried to wave him off. Lan Wangji didn’t look convinced, but thankfully, he didn’t press on. Jiang Cheng quickly changed the topic. “So when will you and my brother be visiting Lotus Pier?”

They talked for a while, Jiang Cheng trying to distract himself from his foreboding sense of dread when all of a sudden they heard shouts from deep within the forest. 

It was the juniors. 

Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji took one look at each other before unsheathing their swords and rushing to the source of the noise. 

While running, they passed the decapitated corpse of the monster the juniors had been after. Jiang Cheng’s panic grew. 

If they weren’t being attacked by the monster, then what had they encountered?

~

Jiang Cheng woke up in the middle of a forest, still cradling  Jin Ling in his arms. 

Jin Ling woke up moments after, kicking and screaming as he crawled away from Jiang Cheng. Jin Ling tried to stand up on his two legs, but they trembled and he plopped to the ground, pouting and making nonsensical noises of discontent while his Uncle began to panic next to him.

Jiang Cheng immediately took account of his surroundings. He looked to the ground only to find that he and Jin Ling had woken up in a strange shallow crater, barely a few centimeters deep. 

He quickly picked Jin Ling up in his arms again, scanning the child for any signs of resentful energy or dark magic, however, he found neither. 

“Where the hell am I?” He asked, holding Jin Ling in front of him at arm’s length as if his infant nephew could possibly answer him. Jin Ling stared back at him and then blew a raspberry in his face. Jiang Cheng sighed, moving to hold Jin Ling on his hip with one hand and wipe off the spit with another. 

He set off into the forest, intent on getting some answers. Jiang Cheng made sure to keep Zidian at the ready at all times.

“I know this place…” Jiang Cheng muttered to himself, feeling a rush of familiarity as he winded through the trees. When he reached a clearance in the forest, where he found a beautiful rushing waterfall, he recognized it instantly, thinking back to lectures he’d attended a few years ago.

Somehow Jiang Cheng and his nephew had been teleported into Gusu. 

Jin Ling began to start making noises of excitement, pointing to the waterfall in awe. He was fidgeting so much that Jiang Cheng was afraid he’d crawl off into the water, so he left, ignoring Jin Ling’s prominent pout as they retreated away from the gorgeous sight.

They were a few meters from the waterfall when Jin Ling’s pouting turned into a full-on temper tantrum. Jiang Cheng tried his best to quiet him down, but it was to no avail. Jin Ling was unfamiliar with the environment they were in at the moment; it had taken him weeks to warm up to Lotus Pier, so he was no doubt thrown off by this completely new setting. 

Eventually, Jiang Cheng let Jin Ling shuffle out of his grasp. His nephew plopped onto the ground, sucking his thumb as he squinted up at his Jiujiu. 

Jiang Cheng ran a palm over his face, letting out a deep sigh when all of a sudden he heard a low growl from a few meters away.

Appearing from behind a cluster of trees was a grotesque monster that approached them slowly, talons poised at the ready. Jin Ling began bawling, quickly moving to cling onto his Uncle’s leg and hide behind it. 

Jiang Cheng growled, trying to shield Jin Ling with his body. He’d fought this monster, Senlin Jingshen , the Forest Spirit, when he was younger. The Spirit was responsible for luring unsuspecting non-cultivators deep within the Forest, only to kill them and use their bones to build its nest. 

Jiang Cheng aimed Zidian at the monster’s neck, remembering what his lessons had taught him a couple of years ago, and watched as the monster recoiled letting out a wretched cry. Jiang Cheng struck at the monster again, effectively detaching its head from its neck, making sure to put enough distance between himself and its poisonous talons. 

When he was sure it was dead, Jiang Cheng went to pick up Jin Ling from the ground, holding his nephew at his chest, trying to soothe him by humming one of the many tunes his Jiejie used to sing to him whenever he was upset or frightened as a child. 

God, how he missed her.

Jin Ling eventually calmed down and Jiang Cheng started walking away from the monster’s corpse when he suddenly realized that he wasn’t alone in this forest. He heard footsteps coming from behind him, so he quickly hid behind a tree, trying to silence Jin Ling with a firm finger pressed to his lips. He gently placed his nephew behind the tree, whispering “Stay here, A-Ling. I’ll be back.” Jin Ling did as he was told, for once, and sat, staring up at his Jiujiu in curiosity. 

  Already on edge, and unwilling to chance whether or not the cultivators behind him were threats or not, Jiang Cheng immediately turned around and whipped Zidian at them, eliciting screams of shock from all three. 

Jiang Cheng opened his mouth to demand if the three were responsible for his current predicament or if they were the ones that had led the monster into the woods, but paused as he took in their gaping faces. For some reason Zidian depowered, not citing any of them as a threat. Jiang Cheng supposed it was because they looked only a year or two younger than himself, making them mere teenagers. 

Two were wearing Lan robes while the one standing in the middle wore Jin robes. 

“Jiujiu?” The Jin boy shrieked, gawking at Jiang Cheng. 

Jiang Cheng looked around to see if they were talking to someone else, but was shocked to find the stranger was speaking to him. 

Curious by all of the commotion, Jin Ling had crawled over from his spot behind the tree, going unregistered by everyone until the child was tugging at his Uncle’s robes, sucking his thumb while peeking at the cultivators from behind Jiang Cheng’s legs. 

He was about to scold Jin Ling when he heard a pair of two more footsteps approaching the scene. He readied Zidian, but when the two cultivators appeared, he almost dropped his weapon in shock. 

~ 

Jiang Cheng and Hanguang-jun froze, unable to tell if they were hallucinating or not.

“Is that…?” Lan Wangji whispered. The juniors were looking back and forth between Jiang Cheng and... Jiang Cheng. 

The man that stood before them, weapon at the ready, was most certainly Jiang Cheng, from everything down to his hairstyle, icy scowl, and his glowing whip. But he appeared much younger, almost by two decades.

“What is this?” The younger Jiang Cheng snapped, Zidian beginning to spark angrily. “Is this some sort of trick? What the hell is going on? Are you the reason why we’re here?”

“...We?” The older Jiang Cheng mumbled in confusion. But then all of a sudden, he saw a baby version of his nephew peek out behind the man’s leg, staring at the two Jiang Chengs with a look of wonder and amazement. 

The younger Sect Leader pushed his nephew behind him with his leg to shield him away from their line of sight. 

“Sect Leader Jiang, please put your weapon down.” Lan Wangji ordered. 

Jiang Cheng noted that Jiang Cheng- he hastily decided to refer to his younger self as Jiang Wanyin in his mind, as this situation was far too confusing already- he noted that Jiang Wanyin was on the verge of a breakdown. 

If Jiang Cheng was correct then the battle at the Nightless City had taken place very recently. Jiang Wanyin had just lost virtually everything, with Jin Ling being the only spark of light in his life at the moment.

Jiang Cheng remembered how lonely he’d felt. How helpless and angry.

Being confronted with the future version of yourself and, at the time, one of your biggest enemies was probably not helping the other’s mental state. 

“Lan Wangji.” Jiang Wanyin sneered, spitting out the name as if it were poison. Both Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji winced. It had been years since their animosity had faded. For Jiang Wanyin their rivalry was probably approaching its peak. “It figures you would be a part of whatever this is. I’m not surprised. After all, you were always there when things went wrong.”

The juniors stared at Jiang Wanyin with bated breaths, but he ignored them and continued, pouring out as much of his pent up rage as he could into his words. Jiang Cheng realized that he probably didn’t care that this Lan Wangji was different, both in age and personality than the one he knew in his present. 

To him, Hanguang-jun was his foe no matter what.

Lan Wangji stiffened beside Jiang Cheng. 

“You did this didn’t you?” Jiang Wanyin hissed. “You want his sword, don’t you? So you thought you’d trap me here until I gave it to you...”

It didn’t take a genius to piece together who the owner of said sword was. Lan Wangji tried to open his mouth to refute him, and Jiang Cheng was content to let Hanguang-jun deal with this one, because he trusted Lan Wangji, with his life even, but Jiang Wanyin just went on and on and-

Jiang Cheng had forgotten how cruel he could be.

“He’s not coming back, Lan Wangji. I made sure of that. I’ll destroy Suibian. I’ll tear it to pieces. And then I’ll  burn that infernal flute of his and I’ll toss the ashes to the bottom of that cliff, where he belongs!”

“Enough!” Jiang Cheng shouted, startling everyone around him. He knew his younger self was angry and he was taking the anger out on Lan Wangji. But Jiang Cheng also knew that, despite this having happened decades ago, Lan Wangji’s wounds over losing Wei Wuxian ran deep. Literally. He had the scars to prove it. 

Jiang Wanyin had been trying to avoid looking at Jiang Cheng presumably because this entire situation hurt his head as well. He was content to vex Lan Wangji instead because at least that was familiar. 

Suddenly, the high pitched sounds of a toddler crying began to echo through the forest. A-Ling...Jiang Cheng also decided to refer to the baby as A-Ling instead, because again, this was all very difficult to comprehend...had most likely become agitated by all of the shouting. Jiang Cheng had no idea how long the two had been in the woods for, and when he looked at A-Ling’s tear-streaked face, he felt his heartache for this baby version of his nephew.

“Come with us.” Jiang Cheng said, trying to keep the other cultivator calm. “We can figure out what’s happened together, and you and A-Ling can get some rest.”

Jiang Wanyin glanced at him only briefly, but Jiang Cheng knew himself well enough to defend at the sudden furious attack his younger self threw with Zidian. Jiang Cheng used his own version of the ring to defend against it. 

Purple lightning met in mid-air before both weapons dismissed each other as threats and their attacks rebounded off of each other. Jiang Cheng was obviously more experienced and stronger than the other so he was able to remain balanced, but the shockwave that the whips sent threw Jiang Wanyin onto his back, making him land a few meters away on the forest floor. 

“Oh my god.” Lan Jingyi muttered. Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui nodded their heads, wide-eyed, agreeing with the sentiment. 

“You three, go restrain him. We’ll carry him back to the Recesses.” Jiang Cheng ordered, pointing his limp, unconscious, younger self. 

“What if he attacks us again?” Jin Ling blurted. 

“We’ll make sure he won’t.”

Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng tended to little A-Ling who was shaking in fright from the fight he’d been forced to witness. At first, he recoiled from Jiang Cheng, understandably so, but eventually, he got tired and gave in.

Jiang Cheng rocked him back and forth, trying to remember how A-Ling liked to be held: arms and legs free to move and never by the armpits. Eventually, A-Ling calmed down and fell asleep on Jiang Cheng’s shoulder.

Lan Wangji had been staring off into the forest for a while. It wasn’t unusual for him to be this quiet, but Jiang Cheng knew this silence was heavier than normal.

“I’m sorry.” Jiang Cheng whispered, so as not to wake A-Ling up. 

“No need.” Lan Wangji tried to dissuade him, but Jiang Cheng continued.

“If I’m right, then that’s just a younger version of me from the past. It’s still me , Lan Wangji. I’m the one who said those awful things. So I’m sorry you had to hear them now and all those years ago..”

Lan Wangji gave him a small smile. “We’ve already apologized to each other, you know.”

Jiang Cheng nodded, “Something tells me if he’s going to be here for a while,” Jiang Cheng gestured to his younger self who was currently being restrained by ropes by the reluctant juniors, “Then I should probably just apologize all over again. And in advance. So I’m sorry for anything he’ll say.”

“Mn. You’re forgiven.” 

When the juniors were finally done restraining  Jiang Wanyin, the three of them used their combined strength to lift him up, and then the group was ready to head back to Cloud Recesses.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Xichen were in for quite a surprise.

~

Jiang Wanyin woke up on a soft bed, back sore and head throbbing. Memories of the day’s previous events came racing through his mind. He had so many questions. How did I end up in Gusu? What’s going on? Did I really just meet, and fight, an older version of myself? Am I hallucinating? 

His attention strayed away from his inner thoughts, and to the hushed conversation that was taking place behind the bamboo room divider occluding his vision from the rest of the room.

“It’s difficult. Looking at him.” Jiang Wanyin recognized the first voice as his own, but it was deeper and strange to hear from his perspective. 

“I know.” The second voice was vaguely familiar, yet Jiang Wanyin couldn’t place a finger on it. After the battle, he’d essentially “secluded” himself from the outside world, and had only made it a point to speak with his disciples whenever necessary. He couldn’t remember much of anyone’s voice anymore. “This was a dark time for you, A-Cheng.”

Jiang Wanyin flinched, both at what the man was saying and at the intimate addressal. 

“It was. And I have no idea how this could’ve happened.”

“Do you think it was some kind of curse?”

“A curse that brought my past self to the future?” So Jiang Wanyin had time traveled. That at least answered the question of how he ended up in Gusu and why familiar faces looked much older than he’d remembered. But that just brought up a whole other slew of questions that remained unanswered.

“Perhaps. Or maybe it was a talisman?”

“One left behind by my brother?” Jiang Wanyin felt his fists clench up in anger. Surely his future self was mistaken.

He had no brother.

 Not anymore. Not ever since he decided to choose the Wens over his own family. Not ever since he got their...no... Jiang Wanyin’s sister killed.   Not ever since-

“Maybe. We should endeavor to ask him.”

“I agree. But do you remember what I told you earlier-”

“Don’t take any of it to heart.”

“I mean it.” Jiang Wanyin noted that Jiang Cheng’s voice grew more distressed. 

“I know.”

And then they finally walked behind the room divider.

Jiang Wanyin tried not to let his shock register at the sight of the older version of Zewu-jun. His robes were far more decorative and refined. His features had matured, making his face akin to a perfect, polished piece of jade. His everlasting smile, the one that Jiang Wanyin had never seen falter before, was still present, albeit dimmed and more subdued than before. He stood a few centimeters taller than Jiang Cheng, who was at his side holding Jin Ling in his arms. 

“Give me back my nephew.” Jiang Wanyin snapped, wanting to get off the bed and lunge at his older self, but the warning sparks of Zidian on Jiang Cheng’s knuckles kept him in place. 

He was angry and brash, but Jiang Wanyin wasn’t stupid . He knew that if he went up against his older self again, especially when he was still sore from their initial fight, he would definitely lose. 

“A-Ling is resting.” Lan Xichen tried to explain, taking on the same gentle tone that Jiang Wanyin knew he was notorious for. 

“Who are you to take him away from me?” Jiang Cheng sent a fierce glare towards Lan Xichen, satisfied as he watched the other’s gaze falter. He failed to notice Jiang Cheng’s posture tense up.

“I know you’re probably scared and confused right now.” Jiang Cheng sent a sharp look towards his younger self, one that made Jiang Wanyin slightly recoil. “But that is no excuse to disrespect Zewu-jun. Especially not in his own Sect. So apologize.”

“A-Cheng there’s no need-” Lan Xichen tried to inject, but Jiang Cheng wouldn’t listen to him.

“Apologies Zewu-jun.” Jiang Wanyin muttered, refusing to make eye contact with the Sect Leader. The revelation that Lan Xichen had indeed become the GusuLan Sect Leader was no surprise to him.

But there was still one thing, among many others, that was confusing him.

“Why does he refer to you as that?” Jiang Wanyin directed his question at Jiang Cheng. He knew his tone was demanding, and for any other elder, he wouldn’t have dared disrespect them like that. 

But Jiang Wanyin was speaking to himself.

“As what ?” Jiang Wanyin recognized the irritation in Jiang Cheng’s tone. He could tell his older self was trying to repress it, but it wasn’t that hard to read himself. 

“‘A-Cheng’. No one has called me that since-” Jiang Wanyin paused, staring at the ground as memories of his sister, his beautiful Jiejie resurfaced. 

Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen shared a meaningful look, but before either of them could give him an answer, two other people entered the room.

The first one was Lan Wangji. Jiang Wanyin felt prickles on his skin at the sight of him. The second one was a short man whom he’d never seen before. He wore a high pony-tail on top of his head, however, he wasn’t dressed in Lan robes. He wore red and dark hues that made Jiang Wanyin’s blood boil at the reminder of him.

“Apologies for intruding but-” Lan Wangji started.

“I’m sure you are.” Jiang Wanyin muttered, bitterly. He immediately regretted it as four heads turned to look at him, but he stared resolutely at the bedsheets, not bothering to take in any of their facial expressions. 

“But he wanted to see them.” Lan Wangji continued as if he hadn’t been interrupted in the first place. Jiang Wanyin looked up at that. The man that had wanted to see him and his nephew, the person who Lan Wangji was referring to, was the strange, dark-robed man who had been staring at Jiang Wanyin in awe the entire time. 

“...Are you sure?” Jiang Cheng started. He was looking back and forth between Jiang Wanyin and the unfamiliar man. Jiang Wanyin wondered what had warranted such apprehension. Then again, his reputation with others was rather dreadful, his future self must’ve known this best.

The man nodded and turned to face Jiang Wanyin with a smile that the other didn’t return. “How are you feeling?”

Jiang Wanyin kept his mouth shut, not wanting to entertain some random stranger on top of everything else. But, unfortunately, the other man persisted. 

“Do you need anything? Is there anything-”

“I want to leave.” Was all Jian Wanyin said, and then glared at his future self again. 

The man looked away but gasped as he finally took note of the sleeping baby in Jiang Cheng’s arms. 

“Is that-?” 

Jiang Cheng nodded, his eyes going soft as he looked at his baby nephew. 

“C-can I?” The man stuttered. He sounded on the verge of tears. 

Jiang Cheng nodded again, handing A-Ling to the stranger and Jiang Wanyin saw red.

  He shot out of the bed, thankful they hadn’t taken Zidian away from him, and the ring began to grow angrily as he advanced upon the stranger, demanding that he give him his nephew back. 

“Who the hell even are you?” Jiang Wanyin yelled, subsequently waking up A-Ling, who began to wail loudly in the other man’s arms. Lan Xichen tried to calm Jiang Wanyin down but he wouldn’t listen to reason. Lan Wangji went to the other man’s side, placing a protective hand on his shoulder and giving Jiang Wanyin a warning look. 

And that was all it took for it to finally click.

Jiang Wanyin froze, finally realizing who the man truly was. The man quickly handed A-Ling back to Jiang Cheng who tried his best to comfort the baby, but all Jiang Wanyin could focus on was him . 

All of a sudden it became extremely hard to breathe. There was a dull ringing in his ears and it was getting louder and louder by the second. He stumbled over his own feet and a pair of arms came to support him, but he ripped himself away from his touch, an indescribable rage building up inside of him. He belatedly noticed that there were tears slipping down his cheeks, but he was far too angry to care.

“How dare you touch me!” Jiang Wanyin screamed, pushing the man away. “ Wei Wuxian .” The name felt like poison on his tongue. 

The man flinched and Jiang Wanyin’s worst fears were confirmed. 

A horrible laugh surfaced from his chest. “Of course you didn’t die. But let me guess, she’s still dead isn’t she?”

“Jiang Cheng-” Wei Wuxian tried, but he was unable to meet Jiang Wanyin’s gaze. Jiang Wanyin’s gaze flickered downwards and he saw that Wei Wuxian was holding Lan Wangji’s hand. 

It made him even angrier.

“It makes sense. Everyone else has to pay for your mistakes, except for you!”

“Jiang Wanyin. That’s enough.” Lan Wangji ordered, grip tightening on Wei Wuxian’s hand. 

He let out another humorless laugh. “You know, I always knew there was something wrong with you. My Jiejie has to die, but you, Wei Wuxian, get to live out your disgusting cut-sleeve life! How the hell is that fair? I wish you’d stayed dead!” And then he was slashing at the room divider and running out of the Hanshi leaving the stunned cultivators behind.

~

“I’m sorry.” Jiang Cheng whispered, unable to look at any member of his family as he gently deposited A-ling onto the bed. The baby cooed excitedly and then started fisting the bedsheets in between his chubby hands. Lan Xichen pressed a light kiss to his temple. 

“It’s okay.” Wei Wuxian smiled at him but his eyes were watery. “You were hurting. You had every right to be angry.”

“That’s no excuse-”

“You’ve grown and changed.” Lan Wangji said, effectively cutting him off. “That is what is important.”

“You’re not defined by your past.” Lan Xichen said softly. “But maybe he was brought here for a reason.”

“Like what?” Jiang Cheng asked, feeling hopeless. 

“To make peace.” Lan Wangji said simply. 

“Should I-”

“Go look for him?” Wei Wuxian finished for him, grinning at Jiang Cheng’s annoyed eye roll. 

“You should.” Lan Xichen said. “I’ll look after A-Ling for you. Meeting all of us at once probably overwhelmed your younger self, so you should go alone.”

Jiang Cheng sighed and then shot one last look towards his baby nephew. Jin Ling was trying to eat one of the quilts with little success. Lan Xichen quickly swooped in and picked him off, perching him on his hip. Rather than his usual adverse reaction to strangers, A-Ling began to giggle, running his hands over the cloud patterns on Lan Xichen’s robes with excitement.

Jiang Cheng felt something warm unfurl inside his chest, bringing a smile to his face. 

“Lan Zhan. Look at how cute that is. A-Cheng’s so in love!” Jiang Cheng wasn’t even sure if Wei Wuxian was even trying to whisper or not. Lan Wangji just responded with his signature “Mn.” but there was a hint of a smile playing at his mouth. 

Jiang Cheng decided to ignore his brother and brother-in-law and focus on Lan Xichen instead. 

“I’ll be back soon then.” Jiang Cheng crouched down to look at his nephew. A-Ling’s face brightened upon seeing his Jiujiu’s face. “Goodbye A-Ling.” Jiang Cheng pat his nephew’s head, reminiscing about raising him all those years ago. And then he was off, in search of his younger self.

~

Jiang Wanyin barreled through Cloud Recesses like an untamed storm, crashing into astonished disciples and barreling over plants in his tracks. Every time he tried to alleviate his rage, thoughts of Wei Wuxian and his sister’s death would enter his mind, only serving to make him even angrier. Zidian hadn’t stopped sparking the entire time. 

He finally found a lone bench in a more secluded area of the Recesses. He mulled over the idea of kicking it to the ground and destroying it with his whip, but he didn’t want the noise to draw any attention so he sat and tried his best to let his mind clear.

What kind of future is this? Jiang Wanyin asked himself, clenching his fists. One where Jiejie dies and that traitor gets to live, as a goddamn cut-sleeve no less. 

But Jiang Wanyin knew deep down inside that he also resented himself for being alive in the future. 

Why her and not me?

He felt an errant tear slip down his cheek. 

“Oh, there you are.” A soft voice said from behind him, startling Jiang Wanyin from his turmoil. He rushed to wipe the tear from his face and turned around to glare at whoever dared approach him. 

It was the Jin boy from earlier. 

He looked nervous upon seeing Jiang Wanyin, but even after receiving his iciest glare, the boy did not flinch nor run away. And then Jiang Wanyin remembered what the boy had accidentally called him earlier in the forest that day.

“You’re...Jin Ling…” Jiang Wanyin mumbled, shaking his head as he tried to reconcile the fact the boy standing in front of him, probably only a year or two his junior, was his nephew that he’d cradled to sleep the night before. 

His head began to throb. 

“I am.” Jin Ling said, with a confidence that matched both of his late parents. His face was very similar to the late Jin Zixuan’s, but Jiang Wanyin could tell that he had Jiang Yanli’s eyes.

Without being prompted to, Jin Ling took a seat beside Jiang Wanyin on the bench. He narrowed his eyes upon seeing the bright red ribbon holding Jin Ling’s hair in place. He felt a strange sense of familiarity upon seeing the ribbon, though the red looked out of place next to his golden robes.

To Jiang Wanyin’s own surprise, he didn’t force  Jin Ling to go away; he’d always had a soft spot for his nephew, and apparently, that held true even decades into the future. They sat together in silence that wasn’t wholly comfortable nor uncomfortable. Both had a million things to say, but neither were the best at expressing how they felt. 

Jin Ling decided to speak first. 

“It’s weird seeing you this young again.” 

Jiang Wanyin barely glanced at him before nodding and saying nothing in return. But Jin Ling pressed on. 

“I never realized that growing up.”

Finally, Jiang Wanyin spoke. “Realized what?”

“How young you were.” Jin Ling elaborated. “We’re practically the same age right now. I couldn’t imagine raising a child by myself.”

Jiang Wanyin scoffed, looking away. “I didn’t raise you by myself. You live with Jin Guangyao for half of the year, don’t you remember?”

Jin Ling tried to hide his wince at the mention of his other uncle’s name, but Jiang Wanyin noticed. It raised a few questions, but Jiang Wanyin didn’t want to press. 

“Yeah, I lived with him too, but you raised me.” Jin Ling persisted. “Everyone says I’m just like you.”

Jiang Wanyin felt his blood run cold. That had been the one thing that he’d been trying to prevent. He’d never wanted his nephew to be anything like him. He’d never wanted his nephew to be known for being angry and cruel and horrible to others.  

He’d wanted so much more for Jin Ling. 

I guess I really did fail you.

“Jiujiu-”

“I’m sorry.” Jiang Wanyin’s voice was barely above a whisper. 

“You’re sorry?” Jin Ling sounded confused. “For what?”

“That people say you’re like me.”

“Why would you be sorry about that? When my friends say that they’re teasing me because usually our eye rolls are almost always in sync or it’s a compliment because-”

“That is not a compliment!” Jiang Wanyin yelled, standing up to scowl at Jin Ling. His nephew seemed unphased by his temper, which probably meant that he was used to it, and that only reiterated the fact that Jiang Wanyin had been a horrible uncle to him growing up-

“Of course it’s a compliment!” Jin Ling snapped back, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Are you stupid?” The words flowed out of Jiang Wanyin before he could think them over. In times of distress, he always reverted to being mean. 

“Are you ?” Jin Ling gave back, throwing his arms up in the air. Jiang Wanyin was stunned. It’d been so long since somehow had talked to him in such a disrespectful manner. 

Jin Ling continued. “You’re Sandu Shengshou! You’re a fierce warrior, one of the most powerful Sect Leaders to have ever lived and you raised a bratty child all by yourself through your sheer force of will! So don’t be stupid! Of course, it’s a compliment to be compared to you.”

His words were far too sincere for Jiang Wanyin to handle. He shook his head, “You don’t look up to me. The Jiang Cheng that you know now isn’t me.”

“No, he’s not.” Jin Ling agreed, his scowl finally easing up. “But he will be.”

Jiang Wanyin reluctantly sat down on the bench again. He muttered something incomprehensible under his breath. 

“Could speak up Jiujiu? You were loud enough a couple of seconds ago.”

Jiang Wanyin gave him a withering look, but all Jin Ling did was smile back at his Uncle. 

How long had it been since someone looked at him with something other than fear or loathing written on their faces?

“What’s he like?” Jiang Wanyin repeated his question louder. 

“My Jiujiu?” Jin Ling asked. Jiang Wanyin nodded. “You and him aren’t that different honestly. You’re both hot-headed, quick to anger, and prickly on the outside. But…” Jin Ling grinned. “Jiujiu has a really good heart. He’s loyal and protects his loved ones above all else. He’s better at dealing with his temper now; he’s even helped me with that.” 

“How?” Jiang Wanyin’s voice shook as he mumbled the question. Being angry all of the time was... exhausting. 

“He relied on friends and family, but especially Zewu-jun.”

Jiang Wanyin paused at that. “Zewu-jun?”

Jin Ling nodded, “He and Jiujiu have helped each other a lot.”

“Are they close?” Jiang Wanyin asked, confused as to how the kind and patient Lan Xichen could’ve ever befriended him. 

Jin Ling’s face went slightly red. “You could say that…”

Jiang Wanyin was about to ask him to elaborate when he noticed others approaching the bench. It was his future self accompanied by Lan Xichen who was holding an enthusiastic A-Ling against his hip. 

Jiang Wanyin was perplexed as to why he didn’t immediately feel angry towards someone else holding his nephew as he had with Wei Wuxian.

But he didn’t dwell on it.

Even though the pair were actively walking their way, his older self and Lan Xichen were completely focused on one another. Lan Xichen was leaning in and whispering something to Jiang Cheng, which made the man tilt his head back and let out a laugh, turning to look towards Lan Xichen with twinkling eyes. A-Ling began laughing too, though he couldn’t possibly have comprehended whatever Zewu-jun had just said. The pair of cultivators looked down at him and smiled, Jiang Cheng reaching out to pat one of A-Ling’s chubby cheeks. That made the baby laugh even more. 

Jiang Wanyin felt..strange. He couldn’t place his finger on what he was feeling. Was it envy? But what was there to envy? Two friends sharing a joke? Jiang Wanyin didn’t need friends, he’d only ever had one and that “friendship” had ended with Jiang Wanyin trying, and failing, to stab him with a sword. 

Because he had been trying. He hadn’t missed on purpose. He hadn’t. Why would he do that? What reason could he possibly have had for wanting Wei Wuxian to live? Why would he want-

“Jiujiu! Zewu-jun!” Jin Ling sprang up from his seat to greet them. Jiang Wanyin stood off to the side watching as they all interacted with each other. 

They were all so...close. 

Lan Xichen spotted him, and gave him a gentle smile, handing A-Ling to him, who looked sad to leave Lan Xichen’s arms but happy to be in his Jiujiu’s once more. A-Ling took his favorite position, cradled against Jiang Wanyin’s chest, and began to suck his thumb, a habit that Jiang Wanyin knew he was going to have to try and have him break. But every time he scolded A-Ling for it, he would just throw a tantrum until he eventually forgot what he was crying about, and do same the thing all over again.

“Thank you.” Jiang Wanyin mumbled, uncomfortable under Lan Xichen’s warm gaze.

“He behaves very well.” Lan Xichen commented lightly. “You’re doing a wonderful job raising him.”

Jiang Wanyin didn’t know how to respond to that. A faint blush settled over his face, but he ignored it in favor of glaring at the ground. He could practically feel Zewu-jun’s amusement roll off him in waves. It made Jiang Wanyin feel irrationally angry and...something else that he couldn’t put his finger on. 

His older self, deep in conversation with Jin Ling, glanced towards their way, an unreadable expression on his face. And then Jiang Cheng finally spoke to him directly.

“I wanted to go back into the woods to see if I could find some answers to our predicament.” Jiang Cheng kept his voice even and gentle as if he were trying to communicate with a rabid animal. How ironic that even his future self was wary of Jiang Wanyin’s temper. “Would you be willing to come with me?”

Jiang Wanyin knew that it was a demand phrased as a question, so he nodded. 

“We’ll look after your nephew while you’re gone.” Lan Xichen reassured. 

“Who’s we ?” Jiang Wanyin snapped, looking around to make sure Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji weren’t approaching them as well. 

“Zewu-jun and I.” Jin Ling said, and then his expression turned shy. “Can I…” he trailed off, staring at the baby version of himself with curious eyes. 

Jiang Wanyin rolled his eyes, but handed him A-Ling, feeling uneasy by the looks of surprise that Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen sent his way. Jin Ling grinned, staring at his past self in fascination. The baby was ecstatic, cupping Jin Ling’s face with his tiny hands as he babbled incoherent nonsense, stopping to giggle whenever Jin Ling grinned at him.

Other than Lan Xichen, Jiang Wanyin had never seen A-Ling become comfortable with a stranger so quickly. 

Maybe it was because, in some part of his subconscious, A-Ling was aware that he and Jin Ling were connected, that he was being held by his future self.

Maybe it was because Jin Ling looked so similar to Jin Zixuan.

A-Ling made grabby hands at Suihua, his father’s sword and a hint of pain seeped into Jin Ling’s smile.

Jiang Wanyin turned away. 

“Let’s go then.” He muttered, walking ahead of Jiang Cheng. All he wanted was to figure out how and why this had happened and then reverse it as soon as possible. He had a Sect to run, one that was in shambles because of the battle. His reputation was tarnished, and his people were vulnerable without a leader.

He had to return back to his time. He was needed there.

And as Jiang Wanyin chanced a glance backward and saw the intimate look shared between his older self and Zewu-jun, he was reaffirmed that he wasn’t wanted here.

~

Jiang Cheng had finally gotten to a stage in his life where he was content. He was married to one of the most brilliant and beautiful people he’d ever had the privilege of meeting. His past grievances with Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji had been remedied. He had a brother again, two counting Lan Wangji. His nephew had grown into an extraordinary cultivator and Sect Leader and had the support system Jiang Cheng had always wished for him to have. 

Jiang Cheng should’ve been grateful really. He’d always wanted the chance to look his past self in the eyes and say something along the lines of “It’s going to be okay” or “It’ll be fine. You’ll be fine” and now he finally had that opportunity, but the words were caught in his throat. 

He and Jiang Wanyin walked through the woods in complete silence, but Jiang Cheng could sense the tension rolling off his younger self in waves. 

He was probably angry, Jiang Cheng knew, at least in that point of his life, he’d never not been angry. He was probably scared too, but Jiang Cheng knew that his younger self would never admit that. Even Jiang Cheng was reluctant to admit to his fears to this day. But despite them being the same person, even Jiang Cheng found it difficult to read himself. 

He wondered how Lan Huan was able to read his emotions so easily. Maybe it was because he had the emotional intelligence that Jiang Cheng severely lacked.

Jiang Cheng didn’t want to say the wrong thing. He knew better than anyone else how quick he was to anger. So he kept his mouth shut instead. 

“There.” Jiang Wanyin said, pointing when they arrived at the crater in the dirt. “That’s where A-Ling and I appeared.”

Jiang Cheng crouched down, inspecting the earth. He hadn’t had much time to do so with Lan Wangji before, so he took his time. He scanned for any traces of resentful or spiritual energy but found neither. He turned to look at Jiang Wanyin who was standing there, watching him and tapping his foot impatiently. 

“Well?” Jiang Wanyin prompted. 

“I couldn’t find anything out of the usual.” Jiang Cheng unconsciously tapped his nose deep in thought. “Before you arrived here what were you doing? Were you in contact with any spiritual objects of some sort? Anything laced with resentful energy?”

Jiang Wanyin was silent, eyes glued to the finger that moved back and forth against Jiang Cheng’s nose. Realizing that he was presenting the habit he’d involuntarily picked up from his brother, Jiang Cheng quickly stopped and let his hand rest at his side. 

Jiang Wanyin’s demeanor had changed from impatient to hostile. 

“How do I know this isn’t your fault?” Jiang Wanyin’s jaw was set as he glared at Jiang Cheng. It was surreal to be on the receiving end of his own anger. “You and the demonic cultivator that lives here?”

Jiang Cheng sighed, but he knew that to his younger self, his way of thinking was more rational than not. “Wei Wuxian has nothing to do with this.”

“Oh so now even you’re defending him?” Jiang Wanyin sneered at him. “ Pathetic. ”

Jiang Cheng didn’t allow himself to be offended by Jiang Wanyin’s words. He knew that the younger cultivator was just deflecting his inner turmoil off of himself and onto Jiang Cheng. 

Jiang Cheng couldn’t fault him for that. After all, in his position, Jiang Cheng would’ve done the same. 

“Even after everything he did?” Jiang Wanyin ranted on, becoming crimson in the face. “He got our Sect destroyed. He’s the reason A-Ling’s an orphan! He got Jiejie killed! How could you possibly defend him? How-how could I possibly defend him?” 

“There’s a lot you don’t know.” Jiang Cheng said, trying to stay calm like Lan Huan had taught him, even as his younger self resurfaced their darkest moments. 

Jiang Wanyin laughed, hysterically. There were tears pooling in his eyes. Jiang Cheng wasn’t sure if they were from sadness or anger. 

Most likely both. 

“Bullshit.” Jiang Wanyin hissed. “That’s bullshit. I don’t care what I don’t know. Nothing I’ve told you is a lie. You have to know that. You’re me! ”

“Do you really think he would want you here?” Jiang Cheng tried reasoning with him. “You’re right. After everything he did, all the pain he caused you...All the pain he caused us , do you really think he’d want you here? He knows you better than I know you, and that’s saying a lot. He knows you wouldn’t accept any sort of apology from him, not like this. Not while our wounds are still so fresh. So then why would he bring you here? You’re just a reminder of everything we want to forget!”

Jiang Wanyin sucked in a sharp breath through his nose, shaking his head. “So that’s how you did it. How you “forgave” him. How you made peace with Lan Wangji. You just forgot .” He looked at Jiang Cheng with an expression filled with hatred. Loathing.

Jealously. 

Jiang Cheng grabbed him by the lapels of his robes, finally losing his temper.

They were like two wildfires, and if neither settled down soon, then the whole forest would burn. 

“Could you forget?” Jiang Cheng yelled at him, shaking him roughly. “Could you forget everything that happened? All the people we’ve lost?”

“Of course not!” Jiang Wanyin yelled back directly in his face.

Jiang Cheng let go, shaking his head and running a hand over his face. “If you can’t forget, then how could you possibly think I could?

Jiang Wanyin didn’t respond. 

“How long has it been?” Jiang Cheng asked, in a quieter voice this time. “Since you’ve lost everything?”

Jiang Cheng was sure his younger self wasn’t going to respond until he got a muttered, “Three weeks.” in reply. 

And then Jiang Cheng came to a realization about his own feelings that he never had before. “You’re angry because you still blame yourself. For all of it. Even Wei Wuxian.”

Jiang Wanyin didn’t even try to deny it. Then again, what use was there lying to yourself? “You don’t?”

Jiang Cheng found himself nodding. “I do blame myself. For mom and dad. For Jiejie. For everything. But...but blaming myself, it’s easier when it’s all in my head. But you’re standing here, right in front of me and-”

“You blame me.” Jiang Wanyin’s voice was uncharacteristically quiet and shaky. It was also resigned. As if he knew what Jiang Cheng’s response was going to be. 

Jiang Cheng put his hands on Jiang Wanyin’s shoulders, gripping them tight. Jiang Wanyin looked up at him, effortlessly schooling his features into a blank mask. To this day, Jiang Cheng still retained that talent. 

Jiang Cheng stared down at him, and ironically, it was the first time he was truly seeming himself . Not a different version of himself that he could distance himself from. Not a younger version of himself that he could pretend to be separate from. 

He just saw himself . 

Someone that was just as broken inside, but whereas Jiang Cheng had people to lean on,  Jiang Wanyin was alone. 

“I don’t blame you.” Jiang Cheng felt a tear rolling down his cheek, but he didn’t try and fight them like Jiang Wanyin did. “I don’t blame you anymore. I’m sorry I ever did.”

“I hate you.” Jiang Wanyin whispered tears rushed down his face, regardless of how many times he vigorously tried to wipe them away with the back of his sleeve. “I never want to become you.”

“I know. And you’re allowed to hate who you become but, Jiang Wanyin, don’t hate who you are right now. You are who you have to be. And that’s enough. You’re enough.”

“Stop talking-”

“You’ll make mistakes.” Jiang Cheng chucked wetly. “ A lot of them. You’ll lash out, say all the wrong things, blame all the wrong people, but you never lose your ability to love or to forgive, no matter how many times you convince yourself that you have.”

“I don’t want to love!” Jiang Wanyin tried to wrench himself out of Jiang Cheng’s grasp. “I don’t want to forgive! And I want your forgiveness least of all! You should hate me too!” 

Jiang Cheng pulled Jiang Wanyin into a tight hug. No matter how much the younger cultivator fought against it, he was unable to get away. Eventually, he crumpled against his older self, sobbing into Jiang Cheng’s chest. 

“You think you’re nothing without your anger.” Jiang Cheng patted his hair in a similar way Jiang Yanli used to whenever she comforted him. “You’re wrong. And I don’t hate you. I don’t like you either, if that makes you feel any better. I don’t find you pleasant to be around, but I’m not supposed to. Besides, other people come to like us enough.”

Jiang Cheng finally released Jiang Wanyin from his grasp. 

“Like who? Zewu-jun?” Jiang Wanyin asked, hesitantly, unable to keep the curiosity from his tone.

“Yes.” And then Jiang Cheng smiled. “Don’t ever take Lan Huan for granted.” 

Jiang Wanyin’s face twisted at the way Jiang Cheng’s voice softened as he spoke about Lan Xichen.

“Why do you two refer to each other so familiarly?” Jiang Wanyin questioned. “Are you two that close?”

“You could say that.”

Jiang Wanyin scoffed. “That’s the same thing Jin Ling said. How does Zewu-jun of all people befriend someone like us ?”

“I’m much nicer to be around than you in the future.”

Jiang Wanyin huffed in outrage, but as he saw his older self was just teasing him he scowled, crossing his arms over his chest. “But that still doesn’t explain-”

“We’re married.”

The look of shock that crossed Jiang Wanyin’s face was almost comical. “What did you just say?”

“Lan Huan and I are married. He’s my husband. I love him very much.”

“B-but-” Jiang Wanyin’s nose scrunched up in disgust. “I’m not a cut-sleeve!” 

Jiang Cheng shrugged, looking unapologetic. 

“I don’t believe you.” 

Jiang Cheng smiled, “That’s alright. You’ll eventually find out whether I’m lying or not for yourself.”

Jiang Wanyin was silent for a few moments before he spoke one last time.

“Are you…” He paused, debating whether or not he should continue his question, but decided in favor of it. “Are you happy?”

Jiang Cheng’s smile softened. “Very.”

“Do you think you deserve to be happy?”

“I think…” Jiang Cheng tapped his nose, “If life gives us the chance to be happy, and we refuse it, that’d be very foolish.”

“I never thought…” He let his sentence trail off, but Jiang Cheng understood what he’d wanted to say.

I never thought I could be happy again. 

“Jiang Cheng?” 

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry.” He could’ve been apologizing for a multitude of things, but to Jiang Cheng, it didn’t matter what he was apologizing for because-

“Like I said, I’ve already forgiven you.” And then he hugged his younger self again, only to have him abruptly vanish in a blinding purple light.

Confused and panicked, Jiang Cheng rushed back into Cloud Recesses, only to find Jin Ling and Lan Xichen at the same bench he’d left them at before he’d ventured off into the forest. There was no baby in sight. 

Jin Ling was raving about how one minute, the baby had been trying to pull his ribbon from out of his hair, and then next, there was some purple light, and he was gone. 

“They must’ve returned to their own timeline.” Jiang Cheng mused, sitting down on the bench, in between the two people he loved most in the world. 

“Maybe whatever curse brought them here ran out?” Jin Ling suggested.

“I’m not sure if it was a curse.” Lan Xichen said, running his thumb over the back of Jiang Cheng’s hand. 

“I didn’t find any traces of resentful energy at the crater they arrived in.” Jiang Cheng noted. “If it wasn’t a curse that brought them here, then why were they brought here.”

“I’m not sure.” Lan Xichen admitted, “But, you must’ve fulfilled whatever the intention was of bringing your past self here.”

“I didn’t do much. All we did was talk.”

“Maybe that's why he was brought here then.” Jin Ling said. “Maybe he just needed to hear whatever you had to say.”

Like I said, I’ve already forgiven you.

Perhaps he did. 

But as much his younger self may have needed to hear that Jiang Cheng had needed to say it as well. 

~

When Jiang Wanyin woke up, Jin Ling still sprawled against his chest, his head ached and his mind felt fuzzy as if he’d just had a terrible nightmare. He couldn’t remember exactly what he’d dreamt about, only that it had felt extremely real and there were a multitude of emotions coursing through him, but he couldn’t pinpoint the source of any of them. 

He placed a gentle kiss on A-Ling’s forehead, before changing into his outer robes and beginning his day. 

As he slipped on his layers of clothing the same empty, crushing feeling washed over him. He knew he couldn’t give in or quit, he’d never abandon A-Ling like that, but that didn’t make it any easier. He was a failure. He was too weak to destroy his flute. He was a terrible person and soon his people would realize he was a terrible leader, and come to despise him even more. He-

All of a sudden a voice, familiar yet distant, whispered through his mind. 

You are who you have to be. And that’s enough. You’re enough.

I don’t blame you anymore. I’m sorry I ever did.

His breath hitched in his throat. And then there was a knock at the door that startled Jiang Wanyin even more.

“Apologies for interrupting you so early, Sect Leader Jiang.” One of his disciples called out. 

“What is it?” Jiang Wanyin asked, still shaken. Though hearing voices in his mind had startled him, and he was worried that they were signs of an upcoming qi deviation, the words themselves had been...comforting. 

“A disciple from the GusuLan sect has communicated that Zewu-jun would like to visit Lotus Pier this spring.”

Jiang Wanyin felt confused, but that quickly gave way to anger. “His brother is not welcome in Lotus Pier.” Would Lan Wangji really be so bold as to use his own brother to try and steal Wei Wuxian’s belongings? Pathetic-

“Zewu-jun didn’t mention anything about Young Master Lan in his request.” The disciple explained, surprising Jiang Wanyin.

And then the voice from earlier coursed through his head again.

Don’t ever take Lan Huan for granted.

Jiang Wanyin had no idea what that was supposed to mean either, but he wasn’t about to disobey it. 

“I’ll write him a formal invitation then.” Jiang Wanyin responded, and then the disciple was off to attend to her other duties. 

Jiang Wanyin gently picked up A-Ling, waking him up and taking him to greet his mother and his grandparents in the ancestry hall, just like they did every morning. This time while he was supposed to be doing his prayer with his Jiujiu, A-Ling wandered off, giving Jiang Wanyin a slight heart attack. 

He was about to scold A-Ling, when he saw that his nephew was pointing up at a shelf on the wall in the farthest corner of the room, so high and hidden from the majority of the hall, that Jiang Wanyin hadn’t been worried about anyone finding it. 

But A-Ling had of course. Children were attracted to bright colors. 

Right next to Chenqing was Wei Wuxian’s signature red ribbon.

Jiang Wanyin tried to shake his head, pick A-Ling up and drag him away, but his nephew began to kick and bite him, until he was sure that Jiang Wanyin would give him what he wanted. 

What he did next was for his nephew and his nephew alone. It was just a piece of ribbon, it didn’t matter. The reason he hadn’t thrown it out was because his Jiejie had given it to him.

Jiang Wanyin assured himself that was the only reason why.

He reached up for the red ribbon and then handed it to an elated Jin Ling who clutched at it, as if making a vow to never let it go. Jiang Wanyin knew he’d probably grow out of it though, a red ribbon in his hair would stand out far too much with gold robes. A-Ling’s excited squeals, however, were worth it. 

Together they made their way out of the hall, and Jiang Wanyin heard the voice one last time.

I’ve already forgiven you.

It made him pause abruptly, Jin Ling looking up at him with wide eyes at the sudden jolt in motion. He had no idea what the voice was forgiving him for and he knew probably didn’t deserve it but still...

It was something he needed to hear.

~