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Hyejoo’s wet hand was trying to slip from hers all the time, but Chaewon would not let it go. She held onto her girlfriend’s hand for dear life, as the heaviness of a deluge made running harder than it needed to be.
Her feet slipped over the dead leaves and humus, and she wondered just how many worms’ home she was disturbing with each clod that was propelled into the air every time her feet hit the ground.
Hyejoo held her hand as firmly as she could, guiding her through the darkening woods.
The candlelit dinner they wanted to have in a meadow had turned into a race. They had barely started eating when grey clouds had obscured the rays of sunshine that were piercing through the trunks and foliage, bathing the small clearing in the golden sunset light that Chaewon loved so much.
The atmosphere had changed instantly. It was so dark that it seemed like night had fallen at once, and the smell of sulfur was unbearable.
“I think we should go home” she had told Hyejoo.
“Are we really going to let the weather ruin our picnic?”
The first deafening thunderclap answered her question. Even if Hyejoo was brave, she knew better than to stay in a forest during a storm. Trees might catch fire, or fall. And despite the fact they wanted to make unforgettable memories for their one-year anniversary, they did not want an inferno, other than the one they felt inside when they looked at each other, to carve its way into their brains.
They had barely had time to pack their tablecloth and food back into the basket when the rain had started pouring. And then they had been running. Hyejoo had taken the lead, holding both her girlfriend’s hand and their victuals. They had about a mile to run, but under this weather, it felt like a marathon.
At this point, Chaewon did not know what sound was the loudest between thunderclaps, heavy rain, their feet hammering the wet ground, or their lungs screaming for air. It did not matter. All of them blended in a melody of chaos.
At least until the screeching of the door opening put an end to the cacophony. Inside the log cabin, sounds were muffled. The only loudness was that of the girls’ breathing.
“Thank God we’re finally here. Go take a shower, Chae. I’m gonna light a fire.”
Chaewon knew there was no point arguing. Even if she insisted, Hyejoo would not drop her gallant game. She never did. Maybe that was why she had fallen in love with her in the first place. The dark-haired girl had acted like a knight in shining armor from the start, and Chaewon had let her because it felt right.
She went into the bathroom, and before taking her clothes off, she grabbed a clean towel under the sink, and went back to the living room.
“Here, at least take this.”
Hyejoo was already crouching in front of the fireplace, and when she looked up, a smile illuminated her face, reddened by the cold rain that was dripping from her hair.
“Thank you, please put it on the back of the chair, I’ll take it when I’m done.”
Chaewon shook her head. Hyejoo was sometimes too proud or strong-willed for her own good. She needed to get dry before the only memory they could keep of this weekend was that of her pneumonia.
The blonde covered the few steps that were separating them, put the towel on top of her girlfriend’s head, and started rubbing her scalp, ignoring her protestations. She would not let Hyejoo catch a cold if she could prevent it. She did not care if her attempt at warming up the person she loved made it harder for her to warm up their temporary home.
“Thank you Chae, I think it’s enough, please go take a shower, now.”
The smaller girl did not know if her girlfriend was saying that because she did feel warm enough, because she wanted to be left alone to light the fireplace in peace, or because she was worried Chaewon might catch a cold herself. And indeed, she could feel her bones get colder by the minute.
Once the bathroom door closed, she took all her drenched clothes off, and figured she would hang them on the drying rack. There was no washing machine in this cottage. Probably because people only ever rented it for short periods of time and the owner did not want to waste space with unuseful equipment. The place was small enough as it was. The girls’ clothes would have to be dry the next day before they packed it up to go home.
If it had not been for the fact Hyejoo needed an urgent shower too, Chaewon would have loved to run a bath and let the hot water soak her tissues until her skin looked like a fig’s. But she could not allow herself the luxury of this selfish pleasure while her girlfriend’s freezing clothes were still stuck to every inch of her body. And the bathtub was not wide enough for two people. She could not share it. She had thought of the idea when they had gotten there, but now that she was standing inside of it, she realized there was not enough space for their affection.
She let the warm water run all over her body. Its sound was similar to that of the rain outside the window. Their fusion sounded a lot better than the mixture of natural noises and desperation of their previous journey.
Her whole body was now warm, and her hair washed, and she contemplated the idea of staying a little longer, just for the sake of comfort, but the image of a cold-blue Hyejoo appeared in her mind, and she brought herself to step out of the bathtub.
Thankfully, she had been sagacious enough when she had unpacked her suitcase and placed her pajama on the windowsill. Hyejoo had not thought of that, and Chaewon could bet she would not notice until she was out of the shower. But the blonde would think ahead and bring her pajama to her.
When she opened the door, the fire was lit, and Hyejoo was sitting right beside it, her hands extended over the flames.
“Bathroom’s available.”
Hyejoo’s face lit up, and as she walked past Chaewon, she stopped, and grabbed her head between her hands.
“What are you?”
“An idiot sandwich?”
Maybe Chaewon had spent too much time looking for memes on the internet. Hyejoo shaking her head while rolling her eyes playfully indicated that the blonde’s answer was not the right one.
“No, you’re the love of my life, that’s what you are.”
Hyejoo gave her a soft kiss on the forehead before walking away, leaving Chaewon to deal with the sensation of the cold drops of water running over her warm dry skin.
She had thought about it many times: she was sure that Hyejoo was the love of her life. There was no rational explanation for it, just an intense gut feeling. Chaewon used to not believe in soulmates, but when she had met Hyejoo, it had been obvious.
A lot of people had told her that it was because your first love always feels like that, but the older girl could tell it went way beyond Hyejoo being her first love. The instant feeling of warmth, familiarity, and safety she had brought into Chaewon’s life was unmistakable. The electricity running through her whole body in her presence, even before the first time their hands ran over each other’s skin, had been deafening. Just like the lightning that was still splitting the dark sky outside in tiny shards, like a broken mirror. Maybe the sky was simply commemorating the lovebirds’ encounter, mirroring it with all its might.
Chaewon peeled her eyes off the window and looked around herself. Their picnic basket had not moved from the table. She figured that if she could not cook because she was a fire hazard, she could still lay out the dinner they had originally planned on the table.
She opened the basket and took out the tablecloth. Thankfully it was still dry. She set it over the wooden, round table, and started placing every dish in the exact same way they had done it in the meadow. The thunderstorm was not about to ruin their dinner date just yet. She would not let it.
“Oh shit.”
Hyejoo’s complaint resonated through the cottage, and Chaewon remembered what she had planned to do. She hurried to their room, and opened her girlfriend’s suitcase, taking what she needed inside of it.
She knocked on the bathroom door and opened without waiting for an answer, handing sweatpants and a hoodie to her girlfriend, who was wrapping herself in her towel.
“Is this what you’re looking for?”
Hyejoo’s features relaxed with relief.
“Thank you.”
She grabbed the clothes and turned around to get changed.
Chaewon turned around in turn, closed the door and headed straight to the sofa. She sat on it, shifting her position until she found the most comfortable one. Her gaze fell on the fuzzy carpet, and she took her slippers off to allow herself to feel the soft tickling between her toes. She closed her eyes, listening to the fire crackling, and the rain pattering. The smell of burning wood felt like safety.
Just like the arms that wrapped around her whole body after Hyejoo had crossed the room, making no sound, as if not to disturb Chaewon’s listening session of their anniversary getaway soundtrack.
The blonde snuggled against her girlfriend, letting her head rest in the crook of her neck, smelling honey from the shampoo they shared.
They remained silent. No words needed to be shared. They were living the same unreal experience, far from home. They felt the same warmth coming from the fireplace, the same softness coming from the rug. They heard the same spluttering of the fireplace, the same drops of rain falling over their head, but not reaching them, and the same thunderbolts. What they did not hear under all that noise, were the chants of contentment ringing through their loud, beating hearts.