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There’s a slight buzz.
It's so loud but so gentle.
A hymn, a hum.
There’s something nostalgic and peaceful about it and Ace can’t help himself but embrace it – to strain his ears further just to hear better. The fizz wears out and a subtle sound of a lullaby becomes much clearer. Ace swears that he’s heard this song somewhere but he’s unsure of where exactly.
Where was he anyway?
He feels a hand reach over him. It’s big. He thinks its Pops but who was Pops again?
A wave of warmth flows through his body and Ace can’t help but feel and relax; to relish the tender ooze of safety and gentleness, cradling him with open arms. The hand begins to pat his head and despite its size, it is soft and gentle with its touch. The hum of the lullaby softens, relaxed, and somehow happier. He swears he can hear the person – a woman, smile as she continues, and Ace feels like that should be it. That, whatever this was, should stay like this.
Ace shuffles a bit, relaxing further to the comforting fabric he had felt himself resting upon. The woman begins to comb his hair, stroking it with such love that Ace himself can physically feel it. He is being lulled to rest by this unknown woman, and he’s somehow fine with that.
He opens his eyes slightly, trying to get a bleary glimpse of the woman who was cradling him.
The woman was blonde, dots splattered across her face just like his own; she was wearing a flower – Ace realizes that they were surrounded by flowers. They weren’t as bright or vibrant as the one braided on the woman’s hair, but they were flowers, nonetheless. He doesn’t know what to make of this and he’s still unsure who the woman is, but the sudden urge to sleep pries his consciousness away and he can’t help himself.
Mom.
Ace closes his eyes, giving in to the gentle tug that pulls him. He lets himself feel everything all over, focuses on the hand that sifts through his unruly hair. He thinks of how nice and soft everything is, how pleasantly buzzed and warm he feels all over. He hears her, and only her, humming, singing, a hymn.
Thank you.
He thinks that’s what the song means.
For being born.
He thinks that’s what his mother said.
ace.
There’s a disruption.
Ace.
How annoying.
Ace!
At that moment, Ace wishes he could forego the arms that cradle him; to close whoever’s the annoying trap that was so he can go back to sleeping peacefully in his mother’s arms.
ACE!
It’s a cry.
A very desperate and broken cry.
Ace opens his eyes wide, alert, and ready. He’s too disturbed and too concerned for the voice crying out for him. He doesn’t even know who the voice belonged to but the gnawing need to see who it was grew. He physically rips himself away from the soft hum and gentle buzz, the loss of it somehow brought him a very heavy painful, yet empty ache.
Like he’s been shot through.
Ace rolls himself over to the source of the voice and from afar he sees a child – a boy. The boy is crying, it's ugly and loud and the urge to comfort him crashes through Ace so suddenly.
He doesn’t know who the boy is but Ace follows through recklessly. Like always.
He runs through the field of flowers, the distance between him and the young boy growing smaller. With every step, Ace’s surroundings become strikingly bright and white, and he almost loses sight of the boy. Ace closes his eyes to protect himself from the transforming and blinding surroundings, but he spreads out his arms forward, desperate to reach and hold the boy crying out for him.
Ace feels the boy in front of him and just a little more, he feels him. Ace clings onto the boy for dear life – for what’s left of it maybe.
He holds the boy tight, never thinking of letting go. Pats his head and combs through the boy’s hair with hushes and flurried hand movements. He hears the boy quiet and Ace feels that this all too wrong. Too much wrong.
There’s supposed to be a straw hat on top of the boy’s head. There’s supposed to smiles and laughter, not ugly sobs and tears. There’s supposed to be more than just this, and Ace can’t help but feel like this was it, this was the end. That this was going to be the last, but last of what exactly?
He’s happy with his life, happy with the people he’s met and befriended. He’s happy with his family, his mother, father, grandfather, and even his bro—
Oh.
Ace feels silly.
Brother .
A bit dumber than usual.
Brothers.
And everything comes back to hit him like a sea train.
Gramps. Dadan. Deuce and the Spades. The Whitebeards. Pops. Marco. Thatch. Teach. Impel Down. The war. Akainu. Sabo and Luffy—
Oh god. Luffy.
Ace feels himself loose, the tight grasp he had on the boy – his brother, had weakened. Ace tries to scramble back his holding, but he feels himself slipping and he lets himself cry in frustration. He wants to scream and shout, but Ace knows that in his current predicament, his voice won’t carry over. So Ace makes do with whispers.
“I’m sorry Luffy.”
Ace can feel his younger brother still himself.
“Just for me, you did all that crazy stuff… But I still couldn’t be saved.”
Ace wants to tell him it’s not his fault, but he won’t have enough time to get that through his little brother’s thick skull.
“My life is at an end… Probably wouldn’t have wanted to live if it weren’t for that whole deal with Sabo… and having an unruly brother like you.”
Ace struggles to chuckle, hopeful that Luffy can get a kick out of it like always. Ace begins to stare out the distance, briefly mulling over his life and the possible regrets he’d have from dying. One would think there’d be a lot (having been branded as a son of demon) but oddly enough, Ace only finds one.
“I only have one regret… That I couldn’t see you fulfill your dream.” Ace pauses, giving himself time to not spit out the bile rising from his throat. “But I’m sure… you can make it. You’re my little brother…”
A memory plays and Ace remembers his promise on that day to Luffy. He remembers the little cliffside they called theirs, the same place he’s asked Gramps about his life, the same place where the brothers had bided each other farewell. The same place where he promised Luffy, with the clear blue sky and the vast calm sea as their witness.
Listen up, Luffy!
“…Old Man… everyone… and you Luffy…”
We’ll definitely live without regrets!
“Even though I’m so worthless…”
Someday, we will set out to sea, and live life the way we want to!
“Even though I carry the blood of a demon…”
With more freedom than anyone else!
“Thank you… for loving me!”
Everything stills and Ace feels himself getting pulled away. He doesn’t give in to the tug, not without trying, without fighting, to hug his little brother one last time.
Ace can hear his mother’s laughter again. He can feel the shit-eating grin on his father – his biological father’s face. He feels the gentle warmth enveloping his existence, but he continues to hold on, just a little bit more.
Ace lets himself cry in his younger brother’s arms. And Ace knows. This just isn’t him dying. This is him loosing. This is him leaving. This is him breaking his promise.
He’s no longer Luffy’s strong older brother. No longer the living older brother.
But he knows that it’ll be okay. He and Sabo can just watch Luffy from wherever the hell the dead go. And Luffy has his crew now so he won’t be alone.
It’ll be okay.
Because Luffy is strong. Because Luffy is going to be Pirate King. Because Luffy is Ace’s brother and that’s all that matters.
My little brother .
Fin.